Admire
AN: This Drabble is written from Todd's point of view.
I followed her to the dock, she had been drinking again and I was afraid of what she would do in this state.
"I know that you're there so you can come out of the shadows," Marty said. Her voice was filled with a raw pain that broke my heart.
I came out from hiding and stared into her eyes. She had been crying and I had to restrain myself from holding her in my arms. I couldn't do that, no matter how much I wanted to...that would only make things worse for her.
"Why are you doing this to yourself? Don't you know how much I admire you. You're probably the only person that I respect in this god-forsaken town. Two years ago, I tried to destroy you, but you ended up saving me. You've fought you're way back and become a better person, so whyare you trashing everything you've become all because Dylan Moody didn't have enough sense to stay with you?" I asked. It really bothered me that she was resorting to her old party girl ways. She was so much better than that and watching her rebuild her life after what happened had given me hope that I could rebuild mine.
"Just go away. I don't want or need your advice," she stated.
"I'm not going anywhere until you answer me. When are you going to be done hurting yourself? You are too good to resort to being Marty the Party girl."
I knew that I had gone too far by calling Marty by her old college nickname when she slapped me across the face. "There's nothing admirable about my life Todd. It's a facade...it's a sham. You admire me because you think that I managed to put my life back together after you raped me...well I got news for you, I haven't. Do you want to know why Dylan and I broke up? We broke up, because, even now two years later every time he touches me I cringe. I can't get close to another human being because of what you did to me. You ruined me and I can't get back who I was...and I can't seem to move forward. I'm stuck in the past because no matter how much you hurt me, I still love you...how sick is that?"
I stared at her dumbfounded. She hadn't been with anybody else since I hurt her. I thought that she had rebuilt her life, but she couldn't move on from the ugliness of her past because despite it all she still loved me. If I was selfless, I would find a way to set her free, but the truth was that I needed her in my life...even if that meant that we were both chained together by that one horrible night. "You love me?" I finally managed to chock out.
"Just forget I said anything," she stated as she pushed me in the pier and walked away.