Jesus could walk on water, and he could turn that water that he walked on into wine, and he could drink that wine.
And he could get wasted.
The man held a large gold goblet in his hand, the same goblet that one of the three wisemen had presented to him the day he was born. He dipped the cup into the river near him, filling it up with the clear liquid, though, bits and pieces of dirt float around in the water. With one loopy smile he raised up the goblet, what looked like a drop of black appearing on the top of the water. It slowly crept out, like dark spider webs forming upon ice. Soon the whole glass was filled with the color, hints of purple and red shining in the mixture.
The followers around him cheered Jesus on, who tipped up the cup, chugging down the alcohol, stumbling backwards at the movement and tearing the cup from his lips, panting heavily. He lazily swept his arm over his lips, smearing the white robes with a line of red. James laughed joyously at the drunk young man next to him, clapping him on the shoulder with a wide hand. "Very good, Jesus!" He exclaimed, watching as the wasted holy man stumbled forward, sinking against Susanna, face smashed into her bosom, nose and lips firmly pressed into her cleavage. He took a second to inhale her scent; roses, sweat and wine. He then smirked, gave the skin a short lick and shook his head while blowing air out. Successfully motor boating the girl before motor boats had even been invented.
Susanna giggles drunkenly, hand pressed to Jesus' wild main of fur. He finally pulled back, needing to get a fresh gulp of air and looked around, still holding that large grin that stretched out his face. "Fuck my dad!" He exclaimed loudly, raising the goblet in the air, before tipping it back, collecting the last drops of the wine, before throwing the goblet, the golden cup flying through the air and landing discarded in the ground, rolling away. He wheeled around, slinging his arms around Judas' neck and pressing his lips straight against the other's, tongue forcing through his lips, choking Judas slightly.
The disciples cheered the man on, halloring and whooping, hands thrown in the air, yelling and cheering the other on without a hint of shyness. John pressed to Jesus' back, arms looped around the man's narrowed hips, hands pressing to the muscles stomach that was hiding the perfectly sculpted abs.
"Mind if I join?" He whispered huskily in Jesus' ear, nibbling on the lobe, hands slipping into the slits, fingers brushing over the nipples. Jesus broke the kiss, giving an approving hum and glancing up to the sky. He watched the clouds in the distance, gathering in fury, dark, swirling, brought by fast moving winds. He continued to stare for a few more seconds, before looking up to the sky, eyes set upon the blue sky. His eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch and his lips moved into a smirk, a smirk directed to the heavens, directed to God, directed to his father.
Fuck these rules, fuck having to be depended on, fuck having to be a role model, fuck his dad!
he wanted to be his own person, he didn't want to be son of God, he was rather happy being a carpenter, partying, he didn't want to be given this job, to be this man who did no wrong, he wanted to be able to do a few wrong things, have a little fun and goddamnit, he was going to do it!
He turned his head to meet Joseph's lips, reaching his arm back to grab his hair tightly, kissing the muggle as hard as he could, tongue nudging at his lips.
But the kiss was short lived, a low rumbled was heard in the sky, then a streak of lightening bouncing between the clouds that had drifted over to them, now swirling a dark fury above their heads. The flash of lightening released from the sky, striking down, just next to Joseph and Jesus, both quickly jumping away. The many faces at the mini party paled and they fled, dispersing every which way. Only one person remained. The son, Jesus Christ. Who glared up at the skies, his face twisted into a look of anger, mad at his father's actions.
"Stop it!" He screamed to the heavens, arms thrown up in fury. "Just leave me alone! I'm sick of you! I'm sick of all of this! Just leave me be!"
A voice came from the heavens, rolling across the hills, as ferocious as the thunder, but still as soft as a gentle breeze.
"My son…You dare disrespect me…I have given you everything, I have given you life!"
Jesus glared, his dark eyes narrowed, hands clenched into fists. "I don't care! I want to be normal!"
"You are to respect what I say, you will do as I say!
He growled, kicking the ground irritably with his heel. "I hate you! I hate all this; I wish I were just dead!"
The clouds in the sky swirled furiously, round and round in a funnel, looking ready to drop anytime. Then it stopped. The clouds disappeared in a matter of seconds, the skies were blue, a sense of calm and tranquility settling around the rebellious son. Then came the first gust of wind, a strike so hard that the still drunken man was swept off his feet, landing on his ass and skidding back a few feet. A gasp was torn from his throat as his robe was knocked loose from his body, cast away with the wind. He instantly shielded himself, arms wrapped in an attempt to shield his body from the cool chill that brushed over his body, hardening his nipples. Then, suddenly, the air became warm, certain spots starting to press harder to his skin, forming invisible shapes, fingers, palms, multiple hands pressing to the chiseled muscles, caressing his skin. He felt one of the invading hands slide up his chest, pinching his nipples, twisting and tugging. He cried out in pain, before giving the smallest of moans.
He gasped as he felt one of the hands grip his ankle, lifting him up suddenly in the air, dangling him above the ground. He gasped, arms dangling helplessly under him, flaccid cock hitting the bottom of his stomach with a small smack. "Let me down!" He exclaimed, blood rushing to his face, veins appearing on his neck, crisscrossed and pressing to the skin, raised up.
The wish was granted and Jesus was sent spiraling down to the ground. He hit the soft grass with a small grunt, pushing himself up and wiping the blood from under his nose. "Ow." He moved his legs up, hand pressed to the ground, fingers gripping the grass and ground tightly, dirt under his nails. He started to try and push himself up to stand, but he was shoved back down by the invisible hands. He simpered quietly, as the hands snarled into his long hair, yanking his head back. "Stop- " he pleaded, back arching, attempting to stop the pain. "Just sto-"
He was cut short by one slap. One single slap to his bare ass. He gasped, body lurching forward and head snapping back even more. "S—" Another slap hit before he could finish what he was saying. Another, then another, then another, each in the same spot, his skin heating up in a wave of pain and a bit of tingling pleasure. The smacking stopped and the cheek was gently caressed, instead, fingers gently kneading against the now red skin, massaging the spot, before giving it another harsh slap.
Jesus' arms collapsed under him, causing him to land on his cheek, ass still raised eye in the air, his dick now erect, precum leaking from the top. "Stop—" He pleaded, panting heavily, a bead of sweat running down his back. He felt another pair of hands caressing the insides of his thighs, the spanking refusing to cease.
"I'll teach you to say those things to me, if you will not respect me, love me, you will fear me."
Jesus was scared, there was no doubting that, in fact, he was terrified. He closed his eyes, sobbing into the ground, arms shaking. He felt the fingers against his thighs caress their way up to his rear, giving the painful red spot on his rear a rub, then spreading apart his cheeks. The man's eye widened and he gripped the grass, starting to try and crawl away, but his legs were held firmly in place by many different hands. He felt the fingers pressing to his opening, then slowly sliding in. He tensed, glaring at the ground with grit teeth. Sure, he'd made out with Judas, he'd been touched by Jospeh, but nothing ever went past that, this was much different, this was rape. The ring of muscle tightened around the invading thing, crying out as a second, then third 'finger' was pushed in. He attempted to kick back, as if he could knock an invisible body away, but his foot just went through the air, falling back to the ground. He felt the invisible fingers ( Which no long felt like three fingers…But one large one ) started to pump in and out, while a new set of hands made its way onto his stomach, running around his naval, then sliding downwards. It firmly gripped his semi erect cock. Jesus cried aloud, reaching down to try and push away the invading hand, but he felt nothing there, his hand just swung through the air. The hand started to pump, making the slightly limp organ stand up to its full amount, head shining red, Jesus juice running down the shaft.
Jesus couldn't deny the pleasure, it felt good, unbelievably so. His head swam and his hips thrust forward by themselves. He groaned aloud, pushing back onto the finger, back arching upwards, head falling back. "More-" He moaned, panting heavily. "I want more, God, I want more!" God complied, massaging the young man's balls and stretching his sphincter out farther. Mid-moan fingers were pressed into Jesus' mouth, thrusting in and out of his mouth, Jesus' tongue meeting the warmth, tongue running over it in an attempt to taste more.
It tasted like holy.
He was growing close, very close. His dark brown hair shielded his face as he took in a struggled shaky breath, choking on the fingers. "nngggmmm—" He tried to warn his father of his fast approaching climax, all the while, thrusting back onto the finger, back arching. One thrust, two, three and he came. With a cry, he tore from the fingers in his mouth, head thrown back, a jumble of prayers and begs; "Our fath—ahh-er, who art in hea—ahhh—ven, hallowed be-yahh—thy name—" Strings of semen shot out of the tip of his cock, landing on the ground, gleaming white, the sun reflecting off of the pearly white seed, making it glow bright, looking holy.
Jesus collapsed, eyes half lidded, chest rising and falling quickly, panting and groaning under his breath.
"now rise my son…"
Christ forced himself to stand up, swaying on his feet, staring up at the sky, his eyes squinted.
And God said "let there be semen!" And there was and it was good.
Slow liquid pearls rained from the sky, dropping down, not clear like rain, but a glistening white. God milked his orgasm over his son, who held out his tongue, allowing the droplets to fall upon his tongue and slide down his throat.
A rumbling was heard, rolling across the skies, the noise of God hitting his climax, enjoying the site of his son taking in all of the holy water he could.
"Now, Son, go, leave and continue to lead your disciples, teach them the ways of God, for thou art the messiah."
Jesus nodded, wiping some of the semen from his face, smiling. "I shall follow, God, I shall take this role…"
He left with a smile, off to teach the ways of Christianity.
The virgin Mary appeared shortly after Jesus' departure, she released her hold on her necklace, which lay lazily against her chest. It was a golden necklace with an hour glass in the middle, it was a gift from god Himself, when you turned the hourglass in the middle three times, it would spin out of control and you would either be thrown into the future or the past. This time it was the future.
She was on a mission from God…
"I have the pile of liquid pearls…" She whispered breathlessly, running through the fields of grass. Her feet sunk into the ground, a clearish white liquid squishing between her toes. It also smelt…Well, strange. What was this? She shook her head, continuing along. "Liquid pearls, liquid pearls, liqui-" She found them, a grin upon her lips. "Liquid pearls!"
It was a small pile, glowing white, as white as pearls, but still a liquid. It was now she was to complete her mission.
She scooped up the liquid onto her fingers and spread her legs, crouching down. She closed her eyes, pressing her fingers to her labia and slowly pushing in. Her fingertips made contact with her Hymen and she forced them through. The hymen broke and blood gushed out, running down her hand and to her arms, dripping upon the grass. She simpered in pain, pulling out her fingers. She scooped up more of the liquid, forcing her fingers into her virgin vagina, all the way until the pearls were totally gone.
She panted, eyes shut, body shivering. "Done…" she whispered quietly. "All done."
She lift her time turner back up, returning to the time she was meant to be in.
Nine months later Jesus was born.