For Kicks and Giggles

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom.

Alright, I'm writing this just so I can… (cough cough) uh, do what I wanna do but in a way it's not illegal… Anywho, I'm gonna kill off some characters so I can pretend I killed the people who bug me. So, in other words, I'm killing people legally. Yes, it's fun.

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"Dash, there isn't anything worse than breaking a nail!" Paulina told him.

"Uh, what about losing a football game?" he asked stupidly.

"No! There isn't anything worse than breaking a nail!" She snapped.

"Why? What happens if you break a nail?" he asked.

"It hurts really badly, and your manicure gets ruined!" she said acting like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Oh. Can you die from it?" Dash asked once again stupidly.

"Of course you can! That's why I never break nails!"

"Are you sure you can die? Have you heard of anyone who has?"

"Yes you can die and yes I have. There was this one girl who used to be on the cheerleading squad fifty years ago, and one day, while she was on top of the pyramid, she fell off and broke her nail! They never saw her again. And they say she still haunts the girl's locker room."

"Wow. I hope I never break a nail."

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Dash was leaning against wall in the hallway hitting on some poor girl who would probably give anything to be far far away from Dash right then. We'll just call her S.P.G.W.W.P.G.A.T.B.F.F.A.F.D.R.T.

"So, do you like quarterbacks?" he asked.

"No, do you?" said S.P.G.W.W.P.G.A.T.B.F.F.A.F.D.R.T.

"I am one!" he yelled.

"Oh. You're one ugly quarterback," she said smiling.

"I'm not ugly! You should consider your self lucky I'm even talking to you!" he said.

"Oh yeah, I'm just sooo lucky to be talking to the ugliest man on the planet." She said.

"I'm not ugly!"

"Did you know you can die from being so ugly? If you're not careful, you might just look at your self in the mirror and die!"

"I've already looked at myself in the mirror! I'm not dead!"

"How many times have you looked at your reflection?" she asked.

"I don't know! Probably a million!"

"That's not good! The next time you look in a mirror you'll die because you're so ugly!" she said.

"How do you die from looking in a mirror?" Dash asked thinking he had the upper hand.

"Your ugly breaks the mirror and the pieces and the pieces kill you!" she said.

"That's not true!" Dash shouted.

"You're right, it's not. But you can die from being ugly and looking in a mirror." She stated.

"Whatever. I'm not going to hit on you again." Dash said and stormed off.

"Fine with me!" she yelled after him and walked down the hall smiling.

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When Dash got home, he decided to test S.P.G.W.W.P.G.A.T.B.F.F.A.F.D.R.T.'s theory. He went into his bedroom and walked to his desk. There he pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a note. If it didn't work, he'd just tear up the note so he didn't look stupid.

Family

Uh, I don't know when you're reading this so uh, if I'm dead, it's because I'm ugly.

This girl I was hitting on today said that because I was ugly, that the next time that

I looked in a mirror, I'd die. Uh…

Dash

With that, Dash walked up to his mirror and looked into it, and then he flopped over dead. Guess he really was ugly.

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Paulina stood in her bedroom brushing her hair when her mom called her down stairs because she had a phone call.

"Who is it Mama?" she asked.

"Star. She's calling about cheer practice tonight." Said her Mama and walked out of the room.

"Thank you Mama!" Paulina shouted after her.

"Hello?" She asked into the phone her accent thick.

"Hi Paulina, it's Star."

"I know. My Mama told me.

"So did she tell you I was calling about cheer practice?" Star asked.

"Yes. It's a 5 isn't it?"

"Yeah. See ya there!" Star said and hung up.

Paulina dropped the phone back into its cradle and walked back into her room. She picked up the brush and began running it once again through her hair. Five minutes later, she walked into her bathroom where her cheer leading uniform was hanging and pulled it on.

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Ok, Paulina had seen weird before, but this topped it all!

Flashback…

(Before Paulina walked in)

"Uh oh… Danny, someone's coming!" Sam shouted.

"What was that Sam?"

Danny and Sam were in the girl's locker room (Danny was happy!) fighting Ember when Sam heard someone coming. With some quick thinking Danny sucked Ember into the Fenton thermos.

"Danny! We need an excuse to be in here! It's the girl's locker room after all!" Sam said.

"You're right. Time for another fake-out make-out?" Danny asked.

"Yeah…" Sam trailed off and ran over to Danny.

"Sorry Sam!" Danny said and started kissing her.

Then Paulina walked in. (scary music plays, lightning flashes, and bats fly out from dark corners of the room)

"EW!" Paulina shouted, "Loser love!"

"Do you mind Paulina!" said Sam pulling away from Danny.

"It's the girl's locker room! Get out!" Paulina yelled and covered her eyes with her hands.

"Gosh!" Danny shouted, "You can't get privacy anywhere! Come on Sam, I think the janitors closet is free…"

And with a few more passionate kisses, the couple left the room.

That was sooo weird! I'm never walking first into a "deserted" room again!

"Come on Paulina!" some random cheerleader from the squad shouts. "It's time to practice the pyramid!"

"I'm coming!" she shouts back.

…………………

"Whoa!" comes a cry from the bottom of the pyramid. Soon all the other girls fall down to the ground sprawled all over each other.

"Ack!" screams Paulina, "I broke a nail!"

"NO!" Star yells just as Paulina's body stiffens and falls to the floor like a board.

"Wow," Danny whispers to Sam while peeking their heads around the door, "I never knew that's what happened!"

"Quick Danny, here comes the squad! Time for another fake out make out!" Sam yelled and pushed Danny up against the wall.

"EW! Loser love!" Star screams and runs down the hall.

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Alright, I know that was totally retarted. But like I think I said before, it's the only legal way to kill people! So, do you want me to write more? Stop for the sake of all man kind? Flop over dead and never write again? Tell me! Review please! Oh, and sorry if I offended anyone! It's not intentional I promise! And just so you know, I don't have anything against cheerleaders, just certain people.

Phantom Shadow Pirate