Harry Potter and The Homosexual Movie Happenings
Authors: Jacob
Storyline: Jacob and Paige
I do not own any rights to the following characters and main ideas of this short story. This story takes place after Harry is taken to the Leaky Cauldron Pub.
"Hagrid, why are you so large?" - Harry
"Well, I'm half King Kong half Michael Jackson." - Hagrid
"Are you really? Just to be sure." - Harry
Harry grasped Hagrid's nose and tugged.
It slid right off and Harry gasped and replaced it.
"Stop! There are more pressing matters! Harry, you are a homosexual," - Hagrid
"I know I'm homosexual Hagrid." - Harry
"You have been accepted into PigZits School for homos and lesbians." - Hagrid
Harry gazed in bewilderment at Hagrid.
"We must first go to FruitCake Alley." - Hagrid
Hagrid led Harry towards a door he hadn't seen before.
Harry went to open the flowered door when he was stopped by Hagrid.
"We must first protect you from the occasional stray homos. KorkiusButtucksus. - Hagrid
Suddenly Harry felt a sensation as a kork appeared from nowhere and lodged itself safely in between his butt cheeks.
They stepped out and walked into the first shop on the right.
"Aaaaaaaaah. Protection - Paper or Plastic. The only shop you need to stop by before we go to school." - Hagrid
They stepped into the shop and picked up a few different toys and stepped to the front counter.
The attendent had a veil over her nose.
What is that veil for mam? - Harry
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH CHOOOOOOOOOOO! - Attendant
A silvery white substance came out of her nose.
"I see, that's why. That definately wasn't a patronus! - Harry
They paid for their objects and left the stoor.
Suddenly three tyrannosaurus rex's leaped out and tried to bite Harry, but Hagrid grabbed Harry and bit out the tongue of one of the rex's as another one bit him on the arm.
Hagrid grabbed a bat and tried to throw it at the biting T-Rex, but it missed and flew into the tree killing three squirrels that fell into the tongue-less T-Rex's mouth and it choked and died.
Hagrid broke the biting T-Rex's neck and stepped on the other's head killing it instantly.
He set down Harry when Harry was suddenly hit by a car and pushed into a van which instantly blew up smothering him in flames.
"Noooooooooooooo!" - Hagrid
Hagrid ran to the burning Harry and pee'd on him to put out the fire.
The blaze went out, but Harry was killed in the process.
"Nooooooooooooooo! Not the poor, sweet, buttocks of Harry Potter!"
Hagrid was angry and wanted to know who hit Harry with the car.
He looked towards the car and saw a pale man get out of it who in a sly voice said.
"Hello, Clairice." - Hannibal Lector
"Noooooooooooooooooo! You killed my father and ate my mother and now killed my love mate!" - Hagrid
Hagrid leapt at Hannibal a bit a chunk out of his arm.
Suprisingly the chunk grew back good as new.
"It can't be. Wolverine?" - Hagrid
"Yes" - Hannibal
Suddenly claw thrust out of the knuckles in each of Hannibal's hands.
"You used to be my friend, my love mate!" - Hagrid
Hagrid ran at Hannibal and attacked with furiosity.
He ripped off Hannibal's ears which grew back instantly as he thrust his claws into Hagrid's torso.
Knowing the end was inevitable, Hagrid used his one last bit of strength to tear off Hannibal's head.
Hannibal's body fell to the ground and so did Hagrid as a crowd of people gathered around.
Hagrid bled excessively, and soon his body went limp.
He had avenged the death of his parents and Harry Potter.
The End