Hey peoples I don't own Inuyasha or any of the song lyrics I put up here so yeah.
Well hope you like this fic… and if you like you can read my 1st fic A Miko's Pain and A Hanyou's Heart.
So Enjoy…
She sacrificed her love, happiness, and her very own existence... for them... for him. And all that she asked in return... was to be remembered. Even if she ceases to exist... she wanted her memories to live on... with them.
What happens... when the very person she wanted to remember... was the one who forgot?
"Her Decision and His Finality"
The Hardest Thing:
We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killin' me, it's killin' you
Both of us tryin' to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
Chapter One: Her Decision & His Finality
She gazed at her friends… sitting across the fire with warm smiles upon their faces. A relieved look radiated upon their forms. They were happy… and she would make sure they stay happy for the rest of their lives.
Even if she were not apart of it!
She leaned against the tree as she sat a distance from them. She couldn't bear to be close to them… because then… it would be harder to say goodbye.
"Kagome are you alright" the demon huntresses gazed worriedly at her friend, seeing the distraught look in her eyes.
Kagome smiled half heartedly at her best friend.
The sad look clung to her eyes, and she could not erase it. It would be her last time seeing them… last time she would ever be with them.
"I'm ok Sango" she replied. Sango looked back at her disbelievingly.
"are you sure lady Kagome… you seem distressed" spoke the monk, gazing at her with the same worried look as the demon huntress.
"I'm just tired I guess" she replied back softly like a whisper.
"get some rest… maybe you'll feel better tomorrow." Spoke Sango, feeling that there was something amiss in her friends' behavior. She had sensed the changes in her friend these past few weeks, and it worried her. Yet when she asked her if anything was wrong she would insist that she was fine.
Shippou stood from where he sat, and walked to where his mother sat alone.
He plopped himself beside her and gazed at her worriedly.
"Kagome are you sure your ok" he asked worriedly.
"Is it Inuyasha again… did he do something wrong"
Kagome shook her head, and smiled adorningly at her kit. She lifted her hand and petted him.
"no… Inuyasha didn't do anything… I'm fine…" she brought her hand on his face and lightly pinched his cheeks.
"really…" she assured him.
Shippou looked at her sadly. He could tell something was wrong with her. She was acting strange… she was acting …unlike herself.
He couldn't see the cheerful, outgoing Kagome he grew to know as his mother.
Kagome stood and turned.
"I'll go get Inuyasha… he must be cold out there" She spoke, and started to walk off into the cold, dark forest.
She couldn't take it anymore… being too close to them would send her in tears… then she would have to explain to them the reason why she has been acting so strange.
"Wait… Kagome… I'll go with you!" shouted Shippou.
"Its alright… stay here… I won't be long" she spoke gently… and started walking away from her companions…
They gazed at her retreating form… worry and confusion in their eyes.
"Miroku… have you seen the way Kagome has been acting lately" questioned Sango staring at the direction kagome had disappeared into.
"yes…Lady Kagome has… been acting strangely" replied a concerned monk.
"what do you think is bothering her…" asked Sango.
"do you think its Inuyasha" stated Shippou who had plopped himself next to a sleeping Kirara.
"well… Inuyasha has been acting strangely as well" spoke Miroku.
'perhaps lady Kagome has caught Inuyasha with Kikyo again.' Thought Miroku!
As if reading his thoughts!
"do you think… Inuyasha was with Kikyo again." Shippou blurted.
"cause that's the only reason kagome gets soo sad." Shippou stated.
"poor kagome" Sango shook her head… she couldn't understand why Inuyasha would choose the walking dead over Kagome. Kagome is such a pure hearted person… who wouldn't love her.
'Inuyasha is a fool' she thought.
Suddenly her body tensed, and her brows twitched with annoyance.
"MIROKU!..." she growled viciously and in an instant she grabbed her hairokutsu… and flung him to the tree.
Miroku released a yelp as he hit the bark of the tree, which was now cracked from the force of his impact.
He dazedly rubbed his head… and was surprised that there was no blood or wound.
'Is it me… or is her beating getting more painful…'
"Ughh" he whimpered at his slightly bruised back.
'couldn't she have slapped me instead' He thoughtfully complained.
Shippou shook his head in shame…
"he never learns."
"serves you right…Hentai" Sango disgustedly spat.
Forgetting about the pain… and what he had just experienced he got up and sat close to her again.
"but dear Sango… I was merely dusting off some dirt." Miroku spoke defensively with innocence.
"monk… if you wanna live…I suggest you distance yourself" Sango warned.
Afraid of getting another beating… Miroku backed slowly away from Sango.
'the next one might be the end of me' he thought.
Inuyasha sat on his perch, gazing blankly at the darkness of the woods.
He was lost in thought… contemplating… unaware of his surroundings.
He remembered that day… the day he had chosen… the day he would never forget.
Flashback…
It was a cold night…
He sat awake, while everyone below him was fast asleep.
He looked down and he could see the sleeping form of Kagome.
He gazed at her face and he wished she would not be too affected with his choice.
He wished that he wouldn't have to hurt her. He hoped that nothing would change between them. That in the end they would still be friends.
Gazing out at the dark sky he caught sight of Kikyo's soul stealers hovering, a signal for him that she had arrived.
He looked down once more at Kagome's sleeping form. He gazed at her with regret.
'I'm sorry Kagome'
He jumped quietly off his perch and quickly made his way to their meeting spot.
Unbeknownst to him that she had awoken the moment he departed from his perch.
She awoke as she heard a quick movement above her… sleepily she sat up and gazed at the branch where Inuyasha sat… only to find that he was gone…
Gazing around she saw his retreating form disappear into the dark forest.
'where is he going at this time…' she thought, now fully awake.
She stood, and quietly made her way to the direction where he had vanished to.
'what if… theres a demon running about.' She thought worriedly…
'ohh no… I forgot my bow and arrow'
'Inuyasha… is close by… he'll protect me.' With that thought she quickened her pace and looked about for her hanyou friend.
'where could he have gone to…' she thought worriedly.
She was about to call out for him, when she caught sight of white object floating about in the sky.
She looked closer, only to realize they were Kikyo's soul stealers.
She stood still, as she clutched her heart in pain…
'He is with her…'
Her heart throbbed… felt as if someone had stabbed her heart with a knife over, and over.
Tears threatened to fall… but she held it in, because… she knew she had no right to feel betrayed… She was after all just a shard detector…
She gazed at the direction of the soul stealers, then at the direction of the camp.
She thought whether or not to go forward, or return to the camp, and pretend nothing had ever happened.
In the end curiosity ruled over…
He arrived at their meeting spot and he caught sight of her…
He embraced her with such love and devotion that he had almost forgotten that another woman existed in his heart.
It seemed that when Kikyo's around he neither thought of his friends or Kagome. Like the world faded and nothing mattered.
Still …a feeling of guilt pulled at his heart… telling him to turn around… telling him to walk away.
He ignored it… buried it in the back of his head.
Kikyo was what mattered...he had chosen her… and he would stay by her side.
As he had promised…!
Yet he felt that he had forgotten something… something important, but he shrugged it off…
How easily he forgets that he had also promised another… that he would always be there to protect her
Nothing mattered to him now… only Kikyo… all other promises faded.
"Kikyo" He spoke her name lovingly.
She hugged him back, burying her face in his hoari.
"Have you decided…Inuyasha" She questioned with her cold, monotone voice.
For a moment he was silent… uncertain that he had made the right decision.
He shook his head… trying to clear the doubt that had now emerged.
'no… I've made up my mind… there's no room for hesitation'
With that thought he pushed away any uncertainty in his heart.
"I… choose you…Kikyo" He answered gently.
Kikyo had sensed the reluctance in his tone… yet it didn't concern her…
He had chosen her… and that was all that mattered.
He had chosen her…over her reincarnate.
She felt pity for the girl… she knew she had witnessed everything… for she had sensed her presence not too long ago.
She closed her eyes as she tightened her hold on Inuyasha… as if afraid he would vanish. Fear that when he sensed her reincarnate he would go to her… and leave her forever.
Inuyasha tightened his hold on Kikyo… thinking nothing more than her and their love… yet in the darkest corner of his mind, another thought existed. Another woman he seemed to have forgotten… no… temporarily cast aside.
He heard movement not far from where they stood… and he was suddenly brought back to reality. His eyes snapped to where the sound had come from. He loosened his hold on Kikyo as he gazed at the direction of the disturbance.
He sniffed the air, and a familiar scent caressed his nose. For a moment he did not recognize the scent… and as quickly as he had forgotten, he remembered.
An image of a girl flashed through his head… her radiant smile, and her eyes that held so much life.
He cursed himself for not remembering her …
"kagome…" his voice a whisper, etched with sorrow…
'How could I have forgotten…'
Kikyo gazed at him. Her eyes flashed for a moment with despair.
'He cares for her… he cared for her reincarnate…'
She could see it in his eyes… love… he loved her.
She released herself from his hold, and began to walk away. Her face cold and impassive!
'he had chosen her… yet his heart had chosen the other'
Inuyasha watched Kikyo's retreating form… his mind fought whether to run after Kagome…or go after Kikyo.
He knew he had hurt both of them… Kagome…for choosing Kikyo, and Kikyo for loving Kagome!
He looked back and forth from Kikyo's direction to the direction Kagome had gone to.
'what should I do…'
"It is alright…Inuyasha… go to her" Kikyo spoke as she halted, her back facing him.
"what…but what about you…"
She ignored his outburst…
"Inuyasha… are you certain you wish to be with me?" she questioned in a low whisper, that only he would hear.
"of course… why would you doubt that" he said, angered that she would doubt his love for her.
"…" She said nothing as she continued on her way… leaving the hanyou to himself.
He watched helplessly as she disappeared into the dark shadows of the forest. He wanted to run to her…yet he also wanted to find Kagome, to apologize, to explain, and try to make her understand.
'would she understand…' he thought, as he went off to follow Kagome's scent.
'would she even stay, after I tell her…that I…that I…choose Kikyo' He grimaced at the thought of telling Kagome he didn't love her… that he choose Kikyo.
'what if…what if she leaves and never return' He couldn't imagine his life without Kagome... she was his friend… and life without her… just… wasn't the same.
He caught her scent and quickly fastened his pace. He jumped from tree to tree in a red and silver blur.
He was getting close, that he could almost see her.
She was standing beneath the God tree… her hand caressing the bark where Kikyo's arrow had left a hole. Where he had been asleep for 50 long years! Where they had first met!
Her eyes were glazed with sadness, and pain. She did not feel betrayed by what she had seen or heard. She knew from the beginning that he had chosen Kikyo… that it would always be Kikyo. He was hers from the very beginning to the very last end.
She smiled weakly at her own foolishness.
'how could I ever have thought that he would love me one day' her weak smile fell into a sad frown.
'how could I have been so selfish… they loved each other…so much that they'd both die for one another…I was just in the way…in between them… I'm the one keeping them apart'
Tears fell from her eyes as she fell on her knees. Her hands covering her face as she cried.
'why?...why did I have to love him… Why did I have to care?'
She was crying, in pain, but not because Inuyasha had chosen Kikyo, but because she knew from the beginning that she was fighting a losing battle, yet she still held on to hope… she was crying at her own foolishness.
Inuyasha watched helplessly as she cried… He thought of just approaching her and comforting, but what could he do, when he was the one who caused the pain.
He gazed at her broken form, under the God Tree. It pained him to see her like this… but it pained him more, knowing he was the one who had caused her, such distress.
He couldn't take it anymore… he had to go to her; he had to ease her pain… even just a little.
He leaped off from his perch, and silently made his way to her…
She sensed someone's presence from behind her, and she knew who it was, yet she chose to ignore him. Not because she was angry at him, but because she wished to be left alone, and perhaps because seeing him now would only aggravate her pain.
She sat and leaned against the God Tree, as she turned her gaze away from him, and instead towards the dark forest ahead.
She silently wished that he would just go away, leave her to her pain, and return to Kikyo.
"why…are you here?" She questioned lightly. No anger, no hatred, just a cold, and gently tone.
"kagome…I…I" he stuttered.
"it's alright… you don't have to apologize." She turned her face towards him, and smiled.
"kagome" he spoke with concern…
"Inuyasha… I knew from the beginning that you… would choose her… so you don't have to explain." she spoke lightly.
"I'm…so..rry" he's voice low and regretful.
"for what…" She questioned in a low cold tone. She knew what he was sorry for… yet she didn't want to accept it. Not because she did not forgive him… but because…there was nothing to forgive.
He walked ever so closer… one foot after the other.
"I…I'm sorry … for hurting you….I didn't mean to"
"you didn't hurt me… Inuyasha… I hurt myself" she declared quietly.
It was true… she was at fault for her own pain.. she had been the cause of her suffering… For believing that one day he would love her as he did Kikyo. For hoping that… he would choose her. Such foolishness… she should have known better.
"Kagome…" His voice etched with pain. He kneeled beside her and embraced her broken form. She was a fragile, broken doll, and he had been the one who broke her.
"I'm sorry…" he whispered in her ear. Holding her still form in his arms!
Her body fell limp in his arms… She let him embrace her… let him hold her against his warm body.
She wanted to stay this way… stay in his arms forever… Yet … reality was cruel… she knew he was not hers, and he shall never be…
'Why does something so wrong… feel so right?'
With that thought she succumbed to the darkness that awaited her.
He held her close, as if she would disappear at any given moment. He felt her body fall limp as she fell into deep slumber. He just held her, because it was all that he could do.
End of flashback…
He gazed off again, thinking back to her tears, her pain.
Ever since that day, they had been ignoring each other. Distancing themselves from one another and he hated it, but he couldn't blame her.
What could he do… he already decided, he already chose.
and he chose Kikyo.
The feeling of dread fell on him, encasing itself on his already torn heart.
He couldn't help but feel like he would regret his actions in the future. Not like he didn't now, but something told him a hidden consequence lay ahead, and he didn't like the feeling.
'Kagome' He longed for her. He loved her.
but he also loved 'Kikyo' …because he owed her that much.
She watched as he gazed off… staring blankly at nothing. Yet she knew, he was thinking of her. Thinking of his first love…!
'Kikyo'
She would never compare to her, never be able to be anything more… than just her reincarnate. And he… her love would never return the feelings that she had bestowed upon him.
Though it pained her… she knew what to wish for from the jewel of the four souls. Somehow they had retrieved it from Naraku, but they we're unable to destroy him. Although they held the completed jewel, it didn't mean Naraku was no longer a threat. He was still a dangerous being, even without the jewel shards.
Inuyasha had given her the shikon jewel … for he no longer desired to be a youkai.
Kagome held the jewel in her right hand… and gazed upon the hanyou that sat on the branch of a tree, not far from where she stood. A sad, longing look upon his eyes!
She clutched the bark of the tree subconsciously. It pained her seeing him like this… and she would do anything in her power for him to be happy.
Even if it meant her own suffering!
She would do anything for her love… anything.
You never told me what you were thinking of,
You only told me it was nothing but love.
You said you'd always be my friend
you said you'd stay.
Coming with everything I had for you,
Giving all, and get nothing back.
You came; you said you'd meet me there.
You said you'd stay.
Tell me, Tell me,
Tell me what you want.
You said you'd be my friend.
Tell me, Tell me,
Tell me what you want.
I know it's not too late.
GO!
Coming with everything I had for you,
Giving all I ever had.
Knowing nothing ever really matters,
I know you cared.
Tell me, Tell me,
Tell me what you want.
I know it抯 not too late
Tell me, Tell me,
Tell me what you want.
I know it's not too late.
Yeah, Yeah, YEAH!
Tell me, Tell me,
Tell me what you want.
I know it抯 not too late
Tell me, Tell me,
Tell me what you want.
I know it's not too LATE!
Wellz hope you luved my fic people. If you want me to continue YOU must review me…
If you want you can read my other fic.
"A Miko's Pain and A Hanyou's Heart"
3 years had passed...Kagome was now Kinagi, a mirror image of Kikyo. Clouded by hate and lust for revenge! Can Inuyasha turn her back... or will he suffer the same fate as he did 50 years ago...Will he die by her hands once more...
Preview-
'Now that my soul has returned… so have the emotions I held for them… and yet… I cannot bring myself to forgive them… to rid the anger and hate I harbored for so many years. It still screams for revenge… It will not rest till I have made them suffer…as much as I have suffered…'
A lone tear ran down her cheeks…glimmering in the moonlight.
'I cannot be weakened now… I must not let these emotions…hold me back'
Her hand made its way to the necklace that hung about her neck…
She clutched the now half complete jewel… It glowed a darker purple…in her hatred…and thirst for revenge.
She sighed…letting the jewel fall back into place.
'Soon….I would rid of Naraku and this wretched jewel…'
Coming Soon
"Mirror Image" (Title May change)
INUYASHA-
3 years had passed since that faithful day… and now another woman who resembled her has come into his life. Would he let go of his past? Can he let go of his first Love, or hold on to the hope that one day she'd come back….
KAGOME-
She was new… and all she asked for was a normal life, but she didn't count on meeting him. Loving him! Can she live with the fact that he loved another… a Mirror Image of herself.
Sorry for now I have no preview for this Fic….