This was written in a movie theatre when my family and myself went to go see the new Harry Potter movie, so there might be few spelling errors (it was dark). Let me tell ya there's a huge difference between reading the book while they're camping, cause you can laugh and skip it, but watching it in a theatre full of people in wizard costumes, WHOLEother thing.
Warnings: Rated for foul language, mildly poor grammer? and Killer-bee doesn't rap, So OOC-ness
Pairings: None. Common Kishi I know it's a shonen but would it kill you to be romantic for a second?
Thankies: Yuti-chan, QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner and Princess Zathura ^_^ you guys are great.
Disclaimer: I don't own NARUTO Masashi Kishimoto and TvTokyo own those rights. So Kishi if you're reading this, don't let everything end too soon, I'd like at least 2 more storm games please.
World AIDS day was last Wednesday, hope anybody who could donate did :)
START!
The protagonist ambush squad stood in the exact same place we saw them in last time, listening to their comander finnish his long winded speech. All except for Sai, who's properly mourning the death of his brother and recalling memories we'll never get to see (who loves Kishi?)
"When a puppeteer becomes the puppet, then it's over for him. Whenever you attacked me I never hesitated, because my spirit lives on in my puppets," Kankuro ended his speech with a well deserved gulp. He hoped this would work, if it didn't he was so screwed.
As Sasori silently contemplated the young shinobi's words, Deidara was subtly and slowly loosing his mind inside the other ''twin'' puppet. He had only been in there for half an hour tops, but try telling him that.
"Un, Danna? You're not really listening to him are you?..." he asked with great concern for his partner, "Danna?,"
Sasori snorted at the whines from the blond.
"Daaaaanna?, hmm,"
His long red eyebrow twitched.
Kankuro looked from puppet to puppet "Would you like me to explain my metephore Sasori?,"
"No I get it, since you're in control of my puppet form you're technically controlling me because of all the hard work, sweat, soul and legacy I put into it blah, blah," Sasori rolled his eyes.
"...Can i still explain it?,"
The master puppeteer hummed,"No, but I would like you to do something else for me,"
"Hn?,"
"I'd like you to take my ''Mother'' and ''Father'' puppets and when you die, pass them on to future generations," the ex-suna ninja crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking the memory that was so vivd in his mind.
"You got it," Kankuro grinned.
"You're one weak SOB danna,"
Sasori frowned,"Shut up Brat," His voice lowered into a whisper that caught on an impossible breeze inside the puppet as his spirit departed for the second and final time.
The paper/clay skin flakes fell away from the very nasty looking corpse beneath and pilled up inside the puppet.
Uh huh, who called it?
It's safe to assume we skip cause we see the stock characters gawking over Sasori's substitute body and all his flesh conffetti (perfect for birthdays and other celebrations)
"Hey, wha' happened? I thought they were immortal," Tango said dumbly in a very bad fake korean accent (think every Hollywood movie you've ever seen)
"Maybe Kabuto released the technique," Omoi suggested.
Dun, dun the forum goers have invaded the manga! Somebody help!
"But the blonds still alive," Deidara pony-tail guy pointed out, shooting a glare at the wooden prison.
"You bastards if you don't let me out of here I'm going to kill all of you! I'll escape, hunt you down and shove my clay so far up your-,"
"So!," Omoi intentionally cut the bomber off, cause nobody like hearing the end of that sentence,"Kankuro was it true?,"
"Was what true?," The puppeteer asked.
"When you said the reason you didn't hesitate before was because of your puppets?,"
"Pft, no I only said that because he had to die in a stupid way, the real reason was because I drank four MONSTER energy drinks before heading out earlier and they didn't kick in until a few minutes ago,"
Bad case of the squirrlies
"I see," Omoi deadpanned with sweat running down his forehead.
"'kay guys let's get ready to move out," Kankuro decided it was time to change a subject, he didn't want anybody to think he was a MONdict
"Yes sir!," The others shouted.
After a long pause Deidara let out an akward noise, "So uh...How about you let me out of here? Maybe give me a pamphlet, tell me about your militia?, yeah," he asked in a calm tone.
Kankuro pulled down his hood to scratch his ear,"Nah, we're keeping you locked up forever and ever and ever and ever,"
(The word ''Puppet'' was written 9 times, 10 if you count this one ^_^)
And ever and ever :3
And we cut to Anko's limp body that is for some reason still being held up by Kabuto's butt snakes. Can't he let the poor girl down she's already a female character in Naruto isn't that torture enough.
"What is it?," Madara asked the snake man, his arms hanging freely down by his sides.
"A girl you silly, silly man," Kabu-maru laughed.
"I know that!," The Rinningan holder barked with a scowl, "I meant why did you call me out here just to see her?,"
"She isn't the reason I called you here, I want you to head out to the front line so I can be alone with sasuke and kidnap him," The snake man said the last part seemingly to himself, but the elder Uchiha still heard him.
"What was that last part?," Madara stretched his words out in a teasing way.
"Nothing just an evil plan is all," Kabuto shrugged.
Madara's eyes narrowed in suspicion,"Hmm something seems fishy," 'This scaley assed bastard is trying to use me I bet, well two can play at that game,' he thought.
Oh but my dear Mada it is the other way around, his plan was to have you think he was trying to use you and think that he never will when in reality he'll be using you without you even realizing it.
"Like he's smart enough to do something like that,"
Kabuto was so busy being evil that he didn't hear the voice or the Elder uchiha's conversation.
Booya!
Naruto stood with his melon lodged ever so delicately in the mouth of an Eight tails head statue ,as he looked around in the darkness for a leaver.
"Why can't you stick your head in the statues mouth?~!," he screeched at his ''teacher'', feeling a spider crawl down his face, "gah,"
"Cause I'm not stupid enough to do it," Killer-bee smirked.
The statue hid the blond's eye roll,"With how much gel you put in your hair i doubt your head could even fit," he spat.
"What was that little man?,"
"Nothin' octo-dude," Naruto pulled his head out of the oxopuss` mouth, and shook his head to respike his flattened helmet hair.
"Good, now hurry up, we gotta do this quick!," The eight tails Jinchuuriki sauntered through the doorway into the void of nothingness.
Cause the white room was so much fun the first time.
Naruto followed,"That didn't rhyme at all,"
"What can I say, it isn't like the authoress is Dr Seuss," No matter how much she wishes she was,"Now are you ready?,"
"Yeah!," Naruto pumped his fist.
The Hachibi's tentacles grew out of the cloud nins back, "Are you sure?,"
"Yeeeah!,"
Giant horns and the head of the Ox-opuss appeared along with the body of the beast,"You can do better than that boy!,"
"YYYYEEEEEAAAAHHH!,"
Killer-bee went quiet.
"Too much?," Naruto peeped.
"Just a bit,"
"So uh, what do you want me to do?,"
"Transform," The beast/man said in a simple manner.
"Not gonna go into great detail are ya," Naruto grumbled.
"The giant ox/octopus demon says no,"
"Well here it goes," Naruto clapped his hands together and activated his super-glowy form.
There was a sudden poof and in Naruto's place was a little chibi nine-tailed fox. Kishi's been spending too much time on the Internet, but for once it turns out okay.
Killer-bee leaned down and stared at Naru-kit, sweat running down his temple.
The fox stared back before poofing back into the little blond idiot we all know and love.
"That really blows, you and the fox aren't friends your transformation just implodes,"
Inside the mind of the horned beast Killer-bee was sitting on the eight tail's nose, "Not like there's much he could do in that form anyway," The Hachibi said, making the jinchuuriki laugh.
"Good one, I think I'll tag out now, you take over," Killer-bee leaned back with his fingers interlocked behind his head.
"Lazy,"
Back in the world of the living and not beasty, Naruto fell back onto the ground with a loud sigh.
"That didn't work at all! I used a ton of the Kyuubi's chakra too," he squinted up at the eight tails towering over him.
"Alright Naruto, this is the eight-tails talking now, I've got alot to say so pay attention,"
"At least I won't have to deal with the rapping for a bit," Hey Bee's raps are hilarious.
"Firstly I'd like to point out that you're putting yourself in danger by using the fox's chakra," Blunt demon is blunt.
Ha, we're back to where we started.
"R-really? There are risks with using that mode?," Naruto stuttered.
What, you thought it would be like a walk in the park, it's a glowy demon mode not a magical rainbow cupcake mode ( though that would be cool) man you really are niave.
"The voice has a point, how stupid are you? whenever you go into beast chakra mode you have access to the Kyuubi's chakra but the barrier you have to break to get it, which means he has access to yours too, and every bit you take from him he equally takes from you," Hachibi explained.
Hehe we get a pretty diagram to help us along, you know a visual aid, cause that helped so much with the chakra thing in book 2 (anybody else remember that? anybody remember getting confused?).
"WHAAAAAT?~! How come Octo-dude doesn't have to worry about this?~! He never mentioned it!," Naruto exclaimed his eyes and mouth agap in suprise.
Not a matter in the world would stall this young ninja from his goal of becoming hokage except for things that will actually kill him, not an antagonist or anything though just deadly things involving chakra and Zombi ninja's (they are the antagonist).
"We're friends now, you and the nine-tails still kind of hate each other," The eight tails shrugged, "Oh and by the way, it's best if you avoid using shadow clones while in that state, if you do you're chakra will be that much easier to drain and you'd die in a second,"
"I don't have to worry about that though, right? I mean I have alot of chakra, enough for the exchange thing with the Kyuubi at least," Naruto said with an oblivious grin.
The eight tails shook his head, "That's where you're wrong my egg shell brained pupil, the kyuubi is not to be taken lightly, it will suck every last drop of chakra from you even if it kills it. Basically how much you lose is like the difference between being told 'You got heart' and," the creature snapped its fingers, "You got pizzaz,"
The fishy lips of comedic slap-stick have returned!
"But I don't want pizzaz," The konoha genin whined in a high quiet voice.
"You want heart," Hachibi is a beast with a plan.
"Exactly,"
"Well then you'll have to learn the Demon bomb," random technique insert.
Naruto's eyes clouded over,"Demon bomb?," he asked.
"the thing I did when we first met," Hachibi tried to jog the ninja's memory.
"Oh right, right the black orb thing," Hey it worked!
The demon nodded, "It actually feels like your throwing up,"
'Throwing up huh?...Heh I think I just found my stupid gag for this chapter,' Saddly for the audience the 'gag' was literal. Naruto activated his lightning-bug form and shoved his fingers down his throat.
He inevitable action of puking promptly followed suit.
Pretty sure he didn't mean make yourself puke he was just saying that's what it was like, man your parents would be so dissapointed.
In heaven
Kushina sobbed onto Minato's shoulder, "I'm so dissapointed! our son's an idiot," she cried.
The blond lightly patted his wifes back.
"He get's it from your side of the family sweetheart," he said in a joking manner.
Kushina reached up and grabbed a fist full of his spiky locks,"Say that again and you loose your hair," she growled, her birght red hair raising up behind her.
"sorry dear,"
Back on earth
See!
"You have to do it in full beast mode," The Hachibi sighed, "Whatever I'm done with you anyway," his large form dissapeared into Killer-bee's body.
Oooh-eeeyyy
"Guess that's it then, now let's get's to work on your beast mode,"
"But how'm I supposed to do the Rasengan without using a clone I need two sets of hands to change the nature and the form," Naruto asked his pown-sauce teacher. This bit of information will be forgotten and overlooked quicker than Hinata's confession of love.
"You'll have the illusion in your head, that the chakra your own arms and legs," Killer-bee sang.
Would'ya look at that, building blocks weren't just time waisting tripe.
The old chakra hands formed on Naruto's shoulders, "Like this?," he asked like he'd never seen them before.
"Pretty good you're in the zone, now show me how much you've grown," not by much in height and intelligence that's for sure.
"Here goes nothing," The konoha gennin used the chakra arms to create a spiraling blue ball of chakra,..um wait where's the blue? it's looking kind of evil and-
"Huh?," Naruto blinked at the unfamiliar ''rasengan''.
'Uh oh,' Killer-bee thought taking notice.
BOOM
The chakra ball exploded sending Naruto flying back.
As I was saying, it looked bomb like.
The cloud nin pondered something before speaking, "Hey Naruto who the hell taught you that technique ya crazy cracker?,"
Dude, ''cracker''?
"Ah just ruined my day," Naruto muttered sarcastically, picking himself up off the ground, "Anyway Pervy-sage taught me," 'Left me alone to figure it out by myself while he went off to peep at girls,' "And the fourth Hokage came up with it,"
Killer-bee smirked, 'This is great, it must be a miracle!,' "Creating the rasengan and the demon bomb is the same process!,"
Don't tell me, he's figured out a way to sidestep all the hard work.
"How'd you guess?,"
Call it a hunch
"It's a technique created by observing the tailed beasts special attack! It's like it was designed to pass the demon bomb onto you!,"
"It's easy enough to do when in this form all you have to do is add the rotation,"
"I dont' know, It doesn't feel like a normal rasengan,"
"demons chakra is made up of Ying and Yang chakra, or negative and positive energy, make sure you keep it at an even ratio, keep it balanced,"
"Yes sir!," Naruto smiled widely.
And so ends this weeks chapter.
Back with Kankuro
(Yes this is random time)
The ninja squad casually walked through the forest, the leaders puppet was being carried along on a beetle created by Sai.
"Look Omoi I'm really sorry about your hair," Kankuro apologized for the thrid time in five minutes.
He couldn't think of anything else to do but apologize, it's not like he'd meant to nearly scalp the cloud ninja, it was an accident.
Omoi chewed his lollipop stick and reached up to the top of his head where a large bald spot replaced the once lushious hair,"It's okay," he stopped and shot death glare at the puppet master, "But if it happens again, i'ma take ya fingers," he started off again with Kankuro scampering up behind him, his hands interlocked in a praying gesture.
"Omoi's crazy," Ittan said.
Sai nodded slowly.
Scrubs refrence FTW ~_^
End:end:End
Yeah I watch Scrubs, it has the perfect combo of Sad and hilarious (especially in multi-language), sure it's stupid comedy but what's Naruto slap stick?
Speaking of which, this weeks chapter was really funny, I did think it was crap that Sasori didn't say anything to Dei as he died though, so I made him say it instead. and as for the comment Naruto made about Bee's hair, well that was just observation.
Thankies for reading! please review! RDBA out!