In disbelief, Niles watched Fran grab her overnight bag and throw the strap over her shoulder. His brain could hardly comprehend what was happening. After five long years, it couldn't just end like this.
He wanted to beg her to reconsider. He wanted to tell her to calm down before she did anything rash. Unfortunately, he couldn't get a word in over Sylvia's moans of distress.
Ignoring her mother, Miss Fine asked, "Niles, will you bring my bag?"
He nodded and picked it up woodenly. He felt almost as if she were leaving him and not Mr. Sheffield.
The whole way down the hallway, Sylvia lamented, "Do you want to grow old alone? You're breaking my heart."
Miss Fine walked in front of her, refusing to pay attention. Niles just trudged despondently behind the two of them.
"You can't do this," Sylvia continued as their sad train went down the stairs. "I already dyed my shoes. If you leave, I'm gonna throw myself in the Hudson River."
Niles felt a flash of amusement at her melodramatic declaration, but he remained silent. Anything he said would probably make things worse.
Fran put her bag on the small table in the foyer and turned to look at her mother. Her eyes flashed briefly as she said, "Ma, flooding New Jersey is not gonna solve anything."
Despite the circumstances, Niles was proud of her for sticking up for herself.
Sylvia turned away in frustration. Whatever either Fine might have said next was interrupted by the opening of the door. Niles glanced over to see Miss Babcock come in.
She looked better, he thought. Despite the fact that she still carried some of the weight put on by her stress induced binge eating, there was something almost peaceful about her. There was health and a sense of self in her eyes that had been missing a long time—since way before her nervous breakdown.
Niles found that he was glad to see her. He could use her to break some of the tension.
"Hello, hello," she announced cheerily, crossing the room to join their sad little group. "Nanny Fine, about your wedding, I just came back from Crate and Barrel..."
Niles couldn't resist shooting her with, "Shopping for a dress?"
Suddenly, he felt better. Playing with Miss Babcock always raised his spirits, especially when she wanted to play back. When she gave him the look that acknowledged his zing and said she was prepared to match it, Niles waited in anticipation.
After a second of thought, she countered with, "No, but I did see something you'd just love at Husky Butler Boys."
She looked him up and down, and Niles couldn't help but smile in response. He loved bantering with her like this; it always caused something almost like delight to flutter through his stomach. Sometimes, it even affected parts lower down, but he wasn't prepared to acknowledge that. Not when things between Miss Fine and Mr. Sheffield were in danger.
Then Miss Babcock noticed Miss Fine's bags, and Niles heard something in her tone he rarely heard. Babcock sounded concerned. He watched in disbelief as she approached Fran and asked, "Nanny Fine, what's with the suitcase? Where are you going?"
"Well, you'll be happy to know that Maxwell and I had a terrible fight and I gave him back the ring and the wedding's off."
Miss Babcock didn't look happy. She looked almost stricken. Fascinated, Niles's eyes didn't leave her face. Could it be his ice queen was not as icy as she seemed?
"What?"
Brokenly, Sylvia explained, "He thinks Fran had an infidelity."
Indignantly, Babcock scoffed, "Oh, please. You've been hanging around here for five years. You're the biggest doormat there is."
"I know!" Fran said in exasperation, moving towards the closet. "And wouldn't you think that would count for something?"
Miss Babcock followed her, still full of righteous indignation. "And when did he get so holier than thou?"
Niles had never imagined he'd ever see the day Miss Babcock sided with Miss Fine against Mr. Sheffield.
As Miss Fine fought with her jacket, Babcock continued, "You don't think Maxwell Sheffield has a roving eye? I've caught him checking me out in the office." Automatically, Niles opened his mouth to say something, anything, to get things back to normal. For some reason, caring, supportive Babcock did strange things to his insides, and he wasn't sure if it was pleasant or unpleasant. Before any sound could come out of his mouth, she instinctively looked at him and calmly said, "Shut up."
Her words stopped his. He worked his mouth, but nothing would come out. Unwilling to meet her eyes, he turned away as she went on.
"Let me tell you, Maxwell Sheffield has not spent every night of the last five years doing a one man show."
She crossed her arms angrily. Miss Fine's thoughts went over her face clearly as she considered Miss Babcock's words and started taking off her jacket to hang it back up.
"Miss Babcock, I think you're on to something." She closed the closet door, announcing, "Ma, help me unpack."
Niles felt Fran's bags being ripped from his hands. Before he even knew what was going on, Sylvia had started with them up the stairs. Miss Fine shared a look with him and followed more sedately, leaving him alone with Miss Babcock.
He watched her closely as she passed him and made her way into the sitting room. She seemed pleased with herself. Niles knew he should let it stand, but he just couldn't. He didn't want her to know how delighted and impressed he was with her.
Following her, he said, "You do realize that you might have just pushed them into a reconciliation."
She stopped and an expression somewhere between amusement and disgust came to her face. "I know. That damn Prozac is turning me into a caring human being." She paused before adding dryly, "And they said there'd be no harmful side effects."
As Miss Babcock walked away from him, leaving the room, Niles didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. Whichever it was bubbled up from his middle and gave him a strong impulse to grab her and pull her against him in a bear hug. As he fought the impulse, he was hit by a flash of insight so clear and disturbing that his legs began to tremble.
Shakily, he made his way over to the couch, wondering how he could have missed it. That strange feeling, it was love. He was in love with Miss Babcock. A selfish harpy. A shrew. The original ice queen. A woman who, even though she knew she was giving up on her own foolish dreams and risking her sanity, had convinced Miss Fine to stay.
His Miss Babcock was full of contradictions, and he loved them all. He loved the way her hair brushed her cheek when she bent over her work; he loved the way her scent lingered after she left the room; he loved the way her eyes flashed when she was angry and her husky little laugh when she thought she had the upper hand.
Niles closed his eyes and he could see her there. Delicate pale skin. A long, usually slim body that could be both heartbreakingly graceful and terribly clumsy—sometimes both in the same day. A wicked smile and sudden, unexplained signs of affection. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Of course he loved her. Why didn't everyone else love her?
But he knew. They sensed her hostility and selfishness. Miss Babcock lived behind a thick wall. She was standoffish and often unintentionally cruel. In fact, most of the time, she had no regard for anyone but herself, but sometimes she surprised everyone—including herself—and did something unexpectedly kind.
She worked so much that she had almost no social life. Niles teased her about this. He teased her about everything. And she gave back as much as she got. No wonder he loved her.
For all her bad qualities, she had ones that Niles found irresistible. She was his favorite playmate. He admired her strength and her intelligence. She was utterly fearless. And her skin was the softest thing he'd ever touched.
He'd been lost when she went away. A twinge of guilt made his face drop into his hands. All the things he'd done that really hurt her—and there had been many, sometimes he got carried away—haunted him then. His cruelty was almost worse than hers. While hers was unintentional, his was full of purpose and spite. He'd come to regret the worst of it after her breakdown, and it all came back to him now.
Somehow, she'd never held any of it against him. Breaking her bones. Kissing her and pretending it never happened. Ending their friendship even though it made her happier than he'd ever seen her. The look on her face during the last one had almost broken his heart, but he'd hardened it against her. How could she still like him? Yet, somehow, she did. He could feel it in the games they played and sometimes he could see it in her eyes.
Beautiful eyes. They were the most expressive part of her, and he wondered if he'd fallen in love with them first. Maybe he'd always loved them. Maybe he'd always loved her.
The thought was either horrifying or comforting, but he didn't know which. All he knew was that now his life was going to get complicated. He couldn't tell her; he couldn't show her. He couldn't act any differently than he normally did or she'd guess something was going on.
Another thought hit him, surprising him with how right it felt. Their relationship had always been strange. What if every time he opened his mouth to deliver a zinger, he was saying, 'I love you'? What if every practical joke was showing her how much he cared? Their bickering could be flirting. He could be standing next to her because he wanted to, not because he was just waiting for the opportunity to insult her.
All of these things had to stay hidden somehow. He didn't know if he could do it. How could he bait her now? How much stronger would the attraction be? Would the desire to touch her overwhelm him?
Only humiliation lie in that direction. In the end, he was only a butler, and she was a rich heiress whose upbringing and the way Niles himself treated her stood between them. His feelings had to remain unvoiced. Loving her in silence would have to be enough.
As Niles took a shaky breath and rose from the couch, he was reminded of the old saying, "there's a thin line between love and hate"...and apparently silly butler boys couldn't recognize which side of the line they were on until it was too late.