The Italy Brothers Visit Belarus
Hello everyone! This is Xascul again! Here is another fic I wanted to write about that I found in the news.
./s/afp/091130/world/belarus_italy_eu_politics_diplomacy
Basically, Italy's boss, decides to pay Belarus a visit, the first time a European leader has visited the country in 15 years. The fact that it was Italy who visited Russia's sister was quite amusing so I decided to put the Hetalia spin on the story.
A Visit to Belarus
Feliciano Vargas was shocked as his boss, Prime Minister Berlusconi, delivered his new orders for the day.
"You are going to visit Signorina Belarus at her place tomorrow. So far, she has been very uncooperative with the EU and I think its time one of us goes to extend a hand in welcome and partnership."
Italy screamed as his boss finished. "WAHHHHH! Me visit Russia's sister?! She's scary! Even more scary than Russia himself!"
"I'm sorry Italy, but that's an order," Berlusconi told the nation sternly.
As soon as his boss left, Italy did the one thing he always did when he felt there was trouble. He ran as fast as he could to the phone and dialed Germany's number.
In an office in Berlin, Germany was busy filling out paperwork that his boss, Chancellor Merkel, had given him for the day, when he heard the phone ring. He sighed, picked up the receiver and said, "Ja, das ist das Sprechen von Deutschland, eh, vhat is it now Italy?" Germany's deep voice shouted in the phone as he so often did when it was Italy who called.
"Wah! Germany, Germany! I have this really big problem and I need your help!"
Germany shook his head. He guessed that Italy was out of water or something to make his pasta and said with an exasperated voice, "Italy, if you're trying to make pasta again and run out of water you could just send me a note and I could...."
But the German could barely finish his sentence before the Italian cut him off saying, er shouting, "Wah! No, no! That's not it! My boss just told me this morning that me and my brother have to go visit Belarus! EHHHHH!!"
Germany immediately froze as he heard her name. All previous thoughts of Italy being clumsy and irresponsible had disappeared. This truly was a serious matter. No European country nor their superiors have gone to Belarus' house for over fifteen years now. As one of the leading countries who worked on European integration and presiding over a fast growing European Union, visits to Belarus has been considered a taboo of sorts.
It was the EU's policy to enact sanctions against 'authoritarian' nations such as Belarus, as she had a rather terrible record on human rights in the past decade and a half. Because of this, and the fact that Belarus was the last remaining country in all of Europe that continues to use the death penalty, European leaders have kept their distance from her. Italy would be the first to do so and his opinion of him went up a bit as he was normally considered useless. Perhaps there was something he could do after all.
"Ahhh! Help me, help me!! I don't know what to do !" Italy screamed again.
Germany sighed and told Italy that he was going to help him out. As soon as he hung up, he sped over to Italy's house in his Volkswagen with a rare smile on his normally stern face.
"So your boss wants you to reach out to Freulien Belarus?" Germany asked Italy seriously when he arrived. "You know the EU considers Belarus to be a....pariah state and does not look well upon her boss."
"Yeah I know! But that's not it! Have you've met her before? She's scary!! Wahhhh!!!"
Germany did his best to console Italy. Yes, he had met Belarus before, actually, met her on the battlefield to be more exact. He could still remember how difficult his fight was with her seven decades ago. He could remember the smell of gunpowder as bullets zipped past them. He could still hear the yells and cries, the sound of the tanks rolling over the ground, and of course, her viciousness. There was no other way he could describe her at that moment. It was as if her whole being was concentrated on that one fight and only cared about beating him. So yes, he knew quite well how vicious and scary she could be.
"Vell, it can't be helped. I could give you a bit of advice on how to approach her. First, don't try and hit on her as you would normally do and second, try not to do anything too stupid okay? Also, not to put more pressure on you or anything, but as you're a member of the EU as well, don't forget that you are not just representing your country, but us as well. So try not to make us look bad okay?" the blonde nation told him.
"Ah, thanks for your help Germany! You're always helping me out in tough spots!"
"Well, this is an important matter for the EU. Perhaps Freulien Belarus will open up more after your meeting. That will be seen as a step forward."
The day finally arrived for the visit.
The Italy brothers were notably nervous as they took the train towards Minsk, Belarus' Capital.
"Shall we go over what Prime Minister Berlusconi wants us to do again fratello?" Romano asked his younger brother.
"A-ah, okay, um so he said something about trying to get her to open up to the EU more, and something about the Prime Minister wanting to open up business relations as well?" Italy reiterated.
"Si, we also need to remind her about her record on human rights as well. If she wants the EU to end her diplomatic isolation, she has to get rid of, or at least tone down her capital punishment record." Romano reminded.
"I agree. Sentencing people to death even in wartime is bad. The other Europeans have agreed to that. I've seen too much war and bloodshed in my lifetime, ve." Italy said sadly.
"Same. I think all of us do. That is why we must continue to work hard to rebuild our continent."
As the Italy brothers followed the directions on their map towards Belarus' house, they were surprised at how....normal her country looked. Sure, her infrastructure was a little bit dated, and was not nearly as extensive as theirs, but it was still a decent place. On the way to her house, they passed by her National Library which had a distinct blue rhombicuboctahedron shape. Felicano and Lovino both made it appointment to visit the Library after their meeting with Belarus.
As per custom for visiting a country for the first time, the Italy brothers were treading on unfamiliar ground, and were more than a little nervous.
Then again, when Russia first came to their house, they were notably intimated by the big nation.
Upon reaching her house a little after eleven, the Italy brothers could feel themselves sweating and shivering more than they normally would. Her house was quite modest with no fancy decorations or plaques, nothing that stood out particularly. The only thing that made her house stand out among the row of other houses was a large Belorussian flag that hung outside the door.
Italy had half a mind to turn around as soon as he raised his hand to knock on her door. His brother tried to get him to get it together and stop shivering. That would have been more effective if Romano himself was also not shivering. Italy has to steady himself a bit and knocked quickly as if the door was about to jump out and eat him.
A few moments later, the door opened and Feliciano let out a small gasp before remembering customary diplomatic procedures and stammered rather than said, "C-ciao signorina Belarus, uh..uh I'm Feliciano V-vargas and this is my fratello, er b-brother Romano! Ah...w-we're here on some official business s-see?"
Everything that could go wrong almost did go wrong. Despite that Belarus was a few inches shorter than either the Italy brothers, that they outnumbered her two to one, and the fact that both of them would have gone head over heels over Belarus had it not been for the fact that she was insane, they were cowering and it did not play well for their image.
Belarus however was used to nations and even her own people scared of her.
Nonetheless, she had to restrain herself to be polite as this was official business. She gave a little bow to the brothers and invited the two of them in for some tea.
"Please have a seat. I welcome you two to my humble home," she said politely.
"Uh....t-thanks for having us today, Signorina Belarus...I-I hope our talks will be f-fruitful," Italy stammered again.
"You know you two are the first nations from the EU to visit me in a while. I am....surprised that the EU would send for you two."
"Ah, w-well, that was our boss's decision."
Belarus served the two Italians some black tea and bread that she baked herself. Italy took a small experimental bite and found that both the tea and bread was quite delicious.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Italy decided to say, "S-so, um, Belarus, um...how have you been since we last seen each other? I-if I recall we have not seen you since the Council of Europe meeting about a decade ago."
"I've been doing alright. My boss is having me concentrate on my agriculture and trying to export as much as I can to big brother. I still have a ways to go." She said concisely and without elaborating too much.
"Uh, well, that's good to hear!" Italy said cheerfully.
For some reason, Italy had always imagined Belarus to live in some creepy manor house, complete with a torture chamber and dungeon. They also imagined Belarus to have collections of weapons and knives hanging around the walls as 'decorations' and 'trophies' she's collected over the years.
However, looking around again, the interior of Belarus' house was rather the opposite. Her house was smaller than the homes of America's, Japan's and Russia's. For one, it reflected her personality and nation as a whole. She herself was a modest person, choosing simple dresses for occasions.
"I see brother's boss and yours are getting along quite nicely....." Belarus said again with a slightly icy tone.
"Ah, I think its mainly because of our Prime Minister's business ventures. He has many relations with other countries." Romano said in his brother's place as the other took a sip of tea.
"Let me ask you two something. Why is it that you two seem so friendly with my brother?"
"Ah, w-well, perhaps our bosses see some political benefit in the relationship. I think....I think that your brother merely wants to visit warmer places now." Italy said.
Belarus was somewhat saddened and said quietly to herself, "Why is it that he does not want to see me? My place is nice enough for him....."
"Uh, sorry, did you say something?"
"No. Anyways what did you wish to talk about?"
"Um..well....its about opening up trade relations and business. Plus...we also wished to address the matter of you....supposed poor human rights record...."
A muscle in Belarus's jumped a bit, but restrained herself from strangling Italy. "That is my people's decision. They voted to keep the death penalty, so I must uphold their desire. Besides...." Belarus's voice took on a more sinister tone, "...it's the best way to get rid of offenders and criminals who threaten my brother and me...."
The Italy brothers shrank back a few inches as Belarus half-monologued. She seemed she was sort of lost in a trance and continued talking at them and at the same time, to no one in particular.
"...I miss the sight of blood. It's so beautiful.....the color.....the deep crimson red...."
She licked her lips a bit but quickly pulled herself back to reality, just in time to see the two Italy brothers clutching each other in fear.
"Oh, but I have made progress on that front. I have told my people and my boss that perhaps capital punishment may not be the best after all. We have put a temporary freeze for this year." She said with her normal voice, which seemed to calm the Italy brothers down a bit.
"Ah, well, that's good then. We don't wish to see a fellow European isolated for so long. I mean, even if you don't wish to join the union right away, we still feel its better for you to have good relations with the other nations and....and not focus on your brother all the time..."
"Perhaps....that doesn't change the fact that I still love him very much."
For the most part, the rest of the talks and negotiations went well. Belarus agreed to step down her capital punishment and Italy agreed to set up business relationships with her to promote more foreign investment and hopefully boost her GDP growth a bit.
After talking to her, despite a few bouts of her insanity, the Italy brothers felt more confident in their diplomacy skills, and felt more at ease around Belarus. After meeting with her for the first time, one on one, they felt they understood her background better, such as why she constantly chased her brother around, and why she herself was insane. All the more reason why she should scale back her capital punishment.
Belarus herself had a little more respect for the Italy brothers after they finished their talks. By the end, as the two grew more confident, they didn't stutter as much, nor did they annoy her. In fact, she found Italy's cheerful, yet somewhat annoying attitude refreshing next to her otherwise tedious days.
"I'm glad we were able to make this deal. I guarantee that this is a step forward for both of us!" Italy said happily as they concluded their negotiations.
"Yes. I feel that we both can benefit from this deal. I hope you will visit again someday. It's...nice to have a change of pace around here." Belarus replied.
Belarus agreed afterwards to show them her National Library. Almost everyone who comes to her capital always asks to see the oddly shaped edifice.
"This place really is...odd. Looks like there is much more about her we still don't understand, fratello." Romano said.
"Si, I agree. We probably should head back home. I'm getting hungry for some pasta!" Italy said happily.
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A/N: I wanted to show that Belarus isn't always some crazy, insane person and that Italy can be smart and have courage, a nice change of pace I think.