Disclaimer: I don't own Monk and I don't own any of her sister characters. I always wanted to use the line that I used when she says "Am I," and her voice trails off. This seemed like the perfect way to put it in… but of course that wasn't the reason for writing the story.

She was trembling so bad it was the equivalent of an earthquake. None of this was supposed to happen. It was an accident. It was so complicated. Once she was so confident. Once she knew exactly what she was talking about. That was many years ago. Why did she have to care so much about that stupid thing? It didn't take away from her friendship and the good times she had spent with her friend.
The man she loved, the man who was her life was moving closer and closer to her. OH GOD! This was an impossible situation. She had done what she had done years ago to avoid putting him in such a position. Now it was impossible. She didn't know what she should or shouldn't say.
There was so much she wanted to say to him. There was so much that he had to know. He had to know that she loved him more then he could even possibly imagine. He was always with her just as she was always with him. There was so much that he had to know and understand. It had to be a moment between the two of them.
He bounded towards her like he hadn't seen her in years, which of course he hadn't. Before she knew it his arms enclosed around her and she melted into his embrace. She found herself relaxing. He always knew how to calm her down. Even in the worst times (and there had been bad times) he was always the beacon of light in her darkest hour. She knew there were things that he needed to know and he knew that there were things that he had to say… but it didn't matter at the moment. Still, she had to ask. She was afraid to ask but she had to.

"Am I-…" she began but then her voice trailed off.
Without releasing her from his arm he and his friend shared a conversation that was never spoken. He was always very good at that. He was able to pick up on the subtle nuances that most people weren't able to catch.
Without saying anything at all he looked at his friend and said, 'I can't lose her again'. His friend without saying a word didn't even argue. He could have said so many things but instead he just motioned that it was alright. He would take care of everything. Besides if he didn't let it drop Leland knew he would have a 2nd murder on his hands… his own because Monk would kill him. Maybe not literally but seeing him fall down again would kill him.

"I won't lose you again," he told her, "Not in any way, not in any shape, not in any form. I won't lose you again ever."
He clung to her and she clung to him.

"Adrian," she told him, "I love you. It's so complicated and I want you to know that right now I'm where I belong. I'm in your arms"
He nodded.

"I know," he told her.

"So what's going to happen now," she asked him.

"I don't know," he admitted, "but there's no way in hell I'm going to let anything happen to you. The past is the past. It doesn't matter now. What happened is in the past"

"Yes but still-"

"It could have happened to anyone," he said, "It wasn't on purpose"
She knew that was the truth but it didn't stop her from feeling bad. He knew she felt bad.

"Ellinghouse wouldn't have wanted you to feel bad," he pointed out, "He loved you like he loved Janet"

"I know," she said, "and I didn't mean to-"

"Of course you didn't mean to. HE would be the first to tell you that he knows it was an accident. He would have been the first person to let you know he forgives you and he's probably thank you"

"For what?"

"For… for reuniting him with Janet"
They both knew that they were going to go through a heck of a lot more tough times. That was no surprise. But they also knew they were together. That was what counted. They could get through anything as long as they were together. As it linked together they two once again became one. Nothing could tear them apart.