A perfect solution

by Writing bunny

Young Tsunade gets fed up with being called Flat-chested and decides to take action. Rating for safety.

AN: My first fanfic. This idea has been in my head for quite some time. Also, I am not a native English speaker, so if you find a misused word, please point it out kindly. I strive to improve.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Obviously. If I did, I would give most of the characters at least ten extra IQ points. Some of them even more.

Now to the story:

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"Of course, flat-chested Tsunade."

She pummeled Jiraiya on the head. He knew, how she hated that nickname, yet he insisted on using it every time possible. Even her chakra-enhanced fists weren't enough to deter him. Beside her Orochimaru looked bored, but she knew he was secretly enjoying the sight of his teammate massaging his bruised scalp. Hiruzen-sensei was just suppressing an exasperated sigh.

She wasn't having anymore of it. She was a proud kunoichi of Konoha, chuunin, soon to be promoted to jounin, and already referred as medical genius. She didn't have to take any more of this crap. So what, that although already sixteen, her chest still resembled an ironing board. She had so many other assets, that people should not even notice something so insignificant, as her breasts (or lack thereof).

"…if Ironing board here didn't…"

She hadn't caught the beginning of Jiraiya's remark, but she silenced him with a punch anyway. She was fuming inside. No matter what, this had to end. How? She had no idea. But she was going to come up with something. She was a genius after all.

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It took her a little over two months of research, but she finally had the perfect solution to her little problem. She had blown quite a lot of ryo in the local casino and drank a significant amount of sake to celebrate her success yesterday. Now, with her hangover cured, she was ready to apply her new awesome extra-complicated super-effective S-rank Bigger boobs no jutsu. She still congratulated herself on her ingenious work combining the properties of higher-rank regenerative techniques with boosting the cell division and stimulation of certain parts of hormonal system and several other things only she understood.

Finished with her inner gloating, she ran through a lengthy series of handseals and lifted her green-glowing palm to her chest.

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When Jiraiya called her flat-chested the next day, she didn't even feel the need to hit him, instead smiling enigmatically. Her teammates looked at her like she had just grown a second head. Let them look, thought Tsunade. The results of her medical masterpiece weren't visible yet, but she could feel its work. Soon, they will be eying her in a completely different manner. She barely restrained herself from cackling with glee.

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"Who would have imagined, that Flat-chested Tsunade would actually start filling up?"

She felt secretly pleased at Jiraiya's remark. Her effort was paying off and she now looked like an actual woman instead an ironing board. No more derogatory comments from her idiotic teammate anymore. Men would start falling off their feet around her anytime now. Life was going to be just wonderful.

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"The ugly slug turned into quite a beauty, didn't she?" Jiraiya added with a lecherous grin. Tsunade pummeled him angrily. Maybe not everything was going to be rosy, but she could deal with that.

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Another month and she had to reassess her earlier opinion. As her breasts kept on growing, Jiraiya was becoming steadily more and more bothersome. He declared that late bloomers were the best and asked her out, all the while staring at her cleavage shamelessly. Her refusal was the most violent ever, landing the young man in the hospital for full two days. And than she had to endure a lecture from Hiruzen-sensei about the proper ways of treating your teammates. Like it was her fault, that Jiraiya was a pervert.

And to top it, her new proportions were now seriously offsetting her balance. And they still kept growing. Tsunade realized with horror, that she forgot to research how to stop the jutsu.

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It took merely two weeks of frantic experimenting, but she succeeded. The damned idiotic utterly useless Bothersome boobs no jutsu was finally cancelled. And not a day too early. But unfortunately the damage was already done. Now she couldn't stroll down the street without every single male ogling her like a piece of meat. She couldn't even walk into the training ground without having to refuse several of their advances. And the females turning green with envy weren't much better. After she once found glue in her shampoo bottle at the last moment, she decided they were much, much worse.

"Hey Tsunade-hime, want to go for dinner," asked Jiraiya while trying, and falling, to discreetly cover up his nosebleed. She gave him a worse case with her fist.

Why did she want big boobs anyway?