I do not own Team Fortress 2 or any of its characters.

I swear, ever since he first hit me with that first jar of piss, I feel like he's been stalking me worse than when I had first arrived and I couldn't walk three feet without running into Scout. Every single battle, I'd rush out of the resupply room with everyone else. Just to avoid the damned Aussie, I'd take different routes to their Intel. It wouldn't matter. On my way in or rushing back out, whatever class I was posing as or assisting, he always knew. Whenever my team would lose, he wouldn't kill me, oh no. He would chase me down every hallway, through every room, but I knew I'd only be stalling the inevitable. No matter what part of my body the jar would hit, it still got all over me.

One day, after another loss, I hid in a room by myself and locked the door, feeling triumphant. There was no way he could get me now.

"Hello, Sheila."

Jumping in shock, I turned around quickly, holding my arms in front of me in vain to defend myself against anything he might do to me.

There stood the BLU Sniper, in all his Australian glory, holding his kukri in one hand and the damned jar of piss that caused so many of my nightmares in the other.

"What do you want?" I snapped at him, trying to save the last of my dignity, for I was at his mercy.

Ignoring my question, he walked closer to me, thankfully putting away the Jarate, but his kukri he kept drawn. I backed up against the door, reaching for the lock so I could escape, but my efforts were forced to a stop when he pressed the blade against my throat.

"Not another move, wanka."

I gulped, hoping he couldn't tell how scared I actually was of him.

"W-what do you want?" I asked again, mentally slapping myself for stuttering in front of him.

He smirked when he heard my stutter.

"You know, Sheila, you're a real sight for sore eyes on the battlefield."

The next thing I knew, he had pulled me away from the door and had pressed me against the wall. Thankfully, he had set down the jar somewhere, but the kukri was pressed against my throat.

"Don't move."

He didn't have to tell me twice, but what he started to do next was a different story. I knew if he killed me I'd go right back to Respawn, but not without covering me with piss first. Perhaps if I stalled him, I could avoid it for once?

My mind quickly stopped thinking about what I was going do and thought about what he currently was doing to me. First he had leaned in close to me and only smelled my hair and neck, but then… He had started nibbling on my ear. I shivered involuntarily, though admittedly, not completely in disgust.

"W-why?" I asked. "Why me? Why not the girl Scout, or the girl Engineer? They're both much prettier than I am!"

He chuckled mischievously, which sent more shivers down my spine.

"Because they're not you."

He finally made me blush(which wasn't that hard to do actually). I closed my eyes, not sure of how I wanted this to end. I felt him trail his hand down my side to my waist, and then he went back up until he held my chin in his hand. A sudden pressure on my lips surprised me and my eyes shot open.

He was kissing me. The BLU Sniper was kissing me, the RED Assist. I was shocked of course, and embarrassed. He had taken my first kiss. I didn't know where to look so I just closed my eyes again and waited for it to be over. It didn't quite turn out that way, however.

He nibbled at my bottom lip, which made me gasp in surprise, and also to take in air. Taking advantage of that, he slipped his tongue into my mouth and stroked mine sensually. At the same time, I heard him toss away his kukri somewhere, and he wrapped one arm around my waist, pressing me against him firmly, and the other held my head delicately. I had no idea what to do with my hands, seeing as I had the freedom to move them, so I wrapped my own arms around his waist and interlocked my fingers. I didn't reach for my weapons, though I could have quickly killed him with the spare knife I kept tucked in my shirt.

Even though the BLU Sniper scared me to death, and covered me with piss daily, I still might have developed a tiny crush on him. Obviously surprised, he pulled away a bit.

"I can feel the knife in your shirt, mate. Why haven't you stabbed me yet?"

I pouted and looked away. "Why haven't you killed me yet?"

This time he blushed. Grumbling, he pushed his hat lower on his face.

"I might have developed a crush on you…" he mumbled, avoiding my eyes.

I was surprised. Slowly, my mouth spread into a smile. He jumped a bit when seeing my smile, blushing even more.

"Oi! What're you smiling about, wanka?"

I stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek.

"Because I like you to silly~"