Title: Who Da Man?

Author: sorion

Fandom: Iron Man / Batman

Pairing: Tony/Bruce

Genre: slash, humour

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: DC and Marvel own, I just play around with no profit.

A/N: Inspired by a ficlet I read probably almost two years ago, or so. Some things might be remembered from there (I apologize for that, but it's been too long to really remember any details), others are just me playing around with the two ;)

Who Da Man?

Tony took his coffee from the coffee machine, added some sugar and stirred it.
Damn. It was too early. Even more so, since last night had got quite late. "So, how much longer, Jarvis?"

"Twenty-three minutes, sir."

"Good," he said, cheerfully. "Can't keep a guy from his car, too long, can you?"

"If you say so, sir," Jarvis replied, after which the electronic voice faded away, again.

Tony smirked into his cup. No, you can't keep a guy from his car. Especially not this guy, and most certainly not from such a beauty of a car. Not that its driver was any less intriguing.

Huh. Apparently, the morning was not early enough for him to not appreciate eye-candy when he was presented with some, after all.

Tony lifted his head a bit when the quiet and constant hum of his chestplate was interrupted by timid or possibly even insecure steps from outside of the kitchen. Bare-footed, if he was not mistaken.

His smirk widened. He waited until the steps had obviously carried the person belonging to them to the kitchen door, then he said loudly: "Good morning, cupcake!"
He turned around, thoroughly enjoying what was presented to him. Nothing beat the view of a fellow billionaire wearing nothing but a half-open bathrobe and an endearingly confused expression.

Bruce Wayne ventured some more steps into the kitchen and put a careful hand on the back of a kitchen chair. "Good morning…"

Tony had to give him that; he didn't go right for the "what the hell happened, last night?" speech. So he just smiled serenely as an answer.

Bruce seemed even more confused by the smile (or possibly Tony's attire – or lack thereof – consisting of sweatpants and nothing else) and finally cleared his throat. "Uh… just how much did I have to drink, yesterday?"

Tony couldn't help it, his smirk was back, full force. "Not enough to impair your performance, let me assure you," he all but growled.

Bruce blinked at him, owlishly and pulled out the chair he was holding.

Tony tilted his head, playfully. "I'm kind of insulted that you wouldn't remember…" It was kinda hard to get that out with a straight face. Oh, Bruce remembered. It was obvious. The man was merely still in his how-the-hell-did-I-end-up-in-bed-with-a-guy stage. This didn't mark the first time Tony was confronted with that particular expression.
No matter. He'd make sure Bruce would lose it, again, soon enough.

Bruce gingerly sat down.

Tony patiently waited until Bruce was seated and he could make out that tell-tale little flinch from doing so. "Remember now?" he asked, sporting angelically wide brown eyes, hardly able to hide the impish gleam in them.

Bruce's lips lifted in half-smile, which pleased Tony to no end, and said: "Like you said. I wasn't that drunk."

Tony chuckled, the imp now making room for genuine amusement. "Coffee?"

"Please," Bruce agreed and nodded, slowly relaxing.

Tony turned to the coffee machine and pressed a button. "By the way…" he started, talking over his shoulder, "… that bat mobile of yours should be done and ready in about twenty minutes."
He waited for the whirring of the machine to stop, took the cup and just kept rambling while he brought his guest his drink. "Some ugly fractures on that pretty hull, three new tires, and we definitely had to look at those brakes, because I don't think bodily lifting the whole damn car is how you usually want to stop it; also, I might not always be around to save your delectable hide…"
He stopped in mid-ramble, coffee in hand, when he saw Bruce stare at him, shell-shocked. "What?"

"Wh-?" Bruce shook his head. "What did you just call my car?"

Tony blinked. "Bat mobile? Isn't that what you call it?"

"Not that car!" Bruce all but screeched. "And definitely not while I'm… I'm…"

Tony rolled his eyes and put down the cup. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Batman. Yadda yadda yadda. Sugar?"

Bruce reached for the cup out of reflex. "No, thanks," he said, appearing for all the world like he couldn't believe he even answered that question in such a situation.

"Milk? Cream?" Tony allowed himself to add a tiny leer to the second word. It was just too much fun seeing fucking Batman come undone like that…

"Tony!" Bruce very hard tried to sound outraged, but he could hardly hide another smile.

Tony fell into the second chair and grasped for his heart. "Ah! You remember my name, darling!"

"Yes, well, I did my homework. Same as you." He shook his head, incredulous at himself and Tony, but amused again.

"And yet you're shocked at hearing your pseudonym."

Bruce sipped his coffee. It was really good. He'd have to ask Tony what kind he used. "Not all of us are as liberal with names as you, my friend."

Tony grinned and leaned forward, conspiratorially. "Just between us… Men…"

Bruce snorted.

Tony chuckled with him. "Seriously. We're quite safe, here. You have my word."

This was probably the first time Bruce saw an honestly serious expression on Tony Stark's face. It frighteningly made him believe every word he said.
He nodded. "Alright. I'll take your word."

In return, Tony looked all too pleased with himself, again.

Bruce wanted to kiss that smug little smile off the handsome face and…
He cleared his throat and leaned back in his seat (when had he even leaned forward?), trying to compose himself. "So, uh. Twenty minutes, you said?"

"Hm," Tony made, neither denying nor agreeing. "You're not leaving, already, are you?" Not after the look he had just got from the other man! It would be a damn shame if he let him go, now.

"I…" Why the hell was that (fake) lost puppy face so endearing and irresistible?

"And here I thought you could maybe return the favour…" Tony said

"What favour?" Bruce only realised that he should not have asked that when Tony had firmly straddled his lap and was leaning in impossibly close within the blink of an eye.
He didn't even notice his hands going straight for the other man's hips.

Tony leaned almost close enough for their lips to brush, but stopped millimetres before a kiss and let both of them breathe each other's air.
"Do you give as good as you take?" Tony whispered, challenging.

This was the moment Bruce thought something along the lines of 'to hell with… whatever it was I was thinking' and leaned in for the hint of a kiss, tongues only just brushing.
Despite his resolution, he had to pull back, again, after only a moment. Re-assess the situation. Realise what the fuck he was doing and who the hell he was doing it with, no matter how hot that person might have been. He looked up.
God. He could get lost in those eyes. "You have very nice eyes," was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Tony seemed pleased and amused, again. "You're an eye-man," he noted.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Enough with the man jokes, already."

Tony snorted. He quite liked Bruce's eyes, come to think of it. Dark, hazel and… very cool. Calm. Controlled. Collected.
"And you need to relax more, gorgeous," he stated and dove in for a passionate kiss, not leaving any room for doubts as to what his intentions were. His fingers went straight to the hair that he so loved to muss out of its usually perfectly coiffure style, as he had discovered, yesterday.
It was not like Bruce was averse to the idea, he just needed a little urging on.

In this case, the urging that was needed lasted for less than a second before Bruce returned every moan, lick, bite and nip with fervour, continuing right where they stopped, last night.
There was something to be said for having another male in his arms instead of a female. The strength, the struggle for dominance, the undeniable proof of desire…

"Good morning, boss."

This made Bruce startle horribly and Tony lean back, his annoyingly cheerful grin back in place.

"Good morning, Pepper." He looked down at Bruce, almost smirking again at the dishevelled appearance, but changing his mind and toning it down to a fond smile. "Batman, this is my Super-Pepper. Super-Pepper, Batman," he introduced.

Bruce groaned. Tony was a handful and a half. He was also damn intoxicating.

Pepper rolled her eyes, on her part not trying to hide her amusement, but not even blushing. "Good morning, Mr Wayne."

"Good morning," Bruce replied, politely and sighed. It was better to just give in.

Pepper held out a data pad and showed it to Tony before putting it on the table. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt your… important meeting, but I'm bound to inform you that you have previously scheduled engagements, this afternoon."

Tony looked at Bruce, seriously. "She so wants me."

"I can barely hold myself back," she replied immediately, deadpan.

Tony laughed and leaned back in to kiss Bruce, quickly. Before Pepper could leave, though, he said over Bruce's shoulder: "If you want to see the not-quite-bat mobile; it's in the garage. Doesn't have the bat look, but definitely the bat tech."

Pepper's eyes seemed interested, while her little smile showed no reaction. "I might just do that."

"Also…" Tony added, "just in case you'll be wondering…" He locked eyes with Bruce. "Despite the impressive car, he's got nothing to compensate."

"I can see that…" she agreed, raising an intrigued eyebrow. After a moment, though, she turned and left the kitchen.
She heard her boss laugh heartily at that. The sound was being closely followed by more passionate kissing.

On her way to the garage she wondered if she could sweet-talk Jarvis into letting her tap into the private surveillance…

End

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