Chapter 1

Louise Belcher was so fucking done with high school. As enjoyable as four years of causing hell (pranking teachers, manipulating people, et cetera) had been, she was sick of most everything else.

Louise had almost skipped her senior prom, having broken up with Rudy (who wasn't so regular sized anymore; he was almost a foot taller than Louise) the week before. Rudy showed up at the restaurant the night of the prom and asked her to come as friends. Long story short, she had a good time at prom (although she'd never admit it), and was still friends with Rudy. In fact, Louise felt like their whole relationship was more about them being friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. Hell, they'd never even had sex in the two years they'd been dating, and here she was, still a virgin at 18. Rudy was too cautious and kind to make any kind of move in that direction. So it made sense that the two were better as friends.

Sappy memories aside, Louise felt annoyed, the red lace of her dress chafing against her skin under the ugly blue graduation robe. She was still pissed that she couldn't wear her bunny ears, what with the idiotic tradition of wearing the mortarboard hat. Other than showers, swimming, and having them stolen, Louise never took off her ears. She had complained plenty to the principal of Huxley, but because of stupid traditions, she couldn't wear them. Louise had even worn her ears to prom, much to the chagrin of Linda, her mother.

Yet for graduation, she was coerced into letting her hair be curled by Abby, who had of course wanted to give Louise braids, but settled for a curling iron.

Louise was stirred from her cross thoughts by Andy Pesto nudging her. "Hey, Louise!" he whispered.

Louise eagerly replied, "What's up, Andy?" Anything to stop listening to the dreadfully boring and long speech the vice principal was making before the diploma ceremony.

"Are we still going to Millie's party tonight?" asked Andy.

Louise sneered. "Millie Frock? The girl who was once obsessed with me, so much that she trapped us in our own fort Halloween night?"

"I'm sure she's not that crazy anymore. Plus, that was a long time ago!"

She rolled her eyes. "Leopards don't change their spots, Andy. Anyway, I've got something much better planned."

"Really? What do you mean; are you having a party too?"

Ollie leaned over. "What's this about a party?"

"Ugh, you guys. I'll tell you later." responded Louise. "Shut up, the diploma thing is gonna start. Finally this will be over."

The vice principal was given a polite round of applause. "And now," he stated, "I'd like to introduce the principal, Mrs. McConnell, who will officiate the diploma ceremony!"

Mrs. McConnell, the principal of Huxley High School, walked up to the stage. "I just want to congratulate this year's graduating class. You are all wonderful students who will succeed wherever you go in life. I hope the last four years have been memorable for everyone." Louise snickered at this. Memorable, my ass.

"I will now present the diplomas! Students, please come up and receive your diploma when I state your name. It would be much appreciated if all applause could be held until the end. Now, the moment you've all been waiting for...Aarons, Stefan. Abney, Crystal. Abraham, Carmen. Acosta, Michael…."

Louise desperately wished she could drown out the droning principal, but she had to listen for her name. She tried to focus. Several minutes later, the principal had only started the 'B' last names. Goddamn! Why do we have so many kids whose last names start with A around here?

The principal continued. "Bard, Isaac. Bellaire, Nicole. Belfort, Jackson. Belcher, Louise."

She started at hearing her name. She stood up and walked towards the stage. Spotting her parents in the crowd, Louise almost waved. Her father, Bob, gave her a thumbs up, and Linda looked ready to burst with joy. She smiled. She loved her parents, although they could be crazy.

Louise accepted her diploma and walked back to her chair. Upon realizing how long she would have to wait until the whole damn ceremony was over, she groaned internally. Curse the fact that my last name starts so early in the alphabet!