PROLOGUE
It took so long for him to open up to me. He learned long ago that showing emotion might reveal his weaknesses, and for that he kept people at a distance... even his own brother. I refused to let him push me away whether he liked it or not, I wanted him to open up and show some feelings. He hated that about me. He was strong when it came to hiding his feelings. Gave Sam and I a sense of security around him, a sense of self awareness. I admired Dean for that. I loved how he was able to hide his feelings as if nothing can harm him. He only showed the side of him that made Sam or me laugh and smile, but sometimes I think he lets it build up to much. And that's when he lets it all out in anger. His eyes burn with flames of his past as he yells and yells when he's angry. Sam and I never question him about flipping out, it would only anger him more.
Sam and I on the other hand, weren't afraid to show emotion. We always went to Dean for comfort, to snap us back into action when needed. He was my crutch. If I screamed, Dean was there to calm me. If I was scared, Dean was there to protect me. If I cried, Deans arms were open. I have to admit I enjoyed it when he held me in his arms. It made me feel safe as though there was a barrior between me and what was out there. Every time his skin touched mine, it sent shivers through out my body. I always thought my attraction to him was nothing big. I guess I was fooling myself into thinking it was only physical but as time passed, it grew more and more each second of every day.
I never gave into my feelings, I was afraid he wouldn't feel the same. Instead, I stopped running to him for comfort hoping these thoughts of him would leave my mind. As time went by, I also learned how to hide my emotions... I started feeling empty... like I lost a part of me. It made everything easier though. By that I mean the hunt. It didn't help much with my feelings toward Dean. If anything it made it worse. Dean realized something was wrong and frequently asked me what was wrong. Coming to me in the middle of the night to check if I was okay. He wouldn't take " I'm fine." for an answer. He came to check on me more then I ever went to him for comfort, making me fall even harder for him each time.
WEAKNESS
It's been a while since we picked up on our hunt, waiting for Sam and Deans father to give us another clue. We've been resting for a good month now until Dean came to my door to tell me to pack up we're leaving. As always I followed his orders and headed to the car. It was a long ride to where we were heading so I just sat in silence. Sam passed out after only ten minutes of our little road trip. "What's wrong? You been acting different lately" Dean says. I lay across the back seat, my arms under my head, eyes closed. " Nothing, I'm fine." Feeling like something is watching me I open my eyes to see him looking at me through the rear view mirror. "Keep your eyes on the road!" I shout as the car starts off on the wrong side of the road. He jerks the wheel just in time to get out the way of a head on collision waking up Sam. "What happened?" "Nothing" Dean replies. I again stay silent. Dean leans over and pops in a cassette of A.C.D.C Back in Black and shoots one last glance over to me. I'll never forget how long of a ride that was.
We booked a room under a fake I.D. at some hotel, and like usual I got my own room. Our rooms were right next to each other so any noise made was clearly heard by the other room. I heard Dean and Sam yelling through the walls, drawing attention to themselves which was never a good idea. I made my way to their room and opened their door. Dean had Sam thrown up against the wall by his shirt, practically choking him. I rushed over and placed my hands on Deans shoulder, automatically he drops his brother. Coughing, Sam manages to say "Thank you" as he picks himself up off the ground. I help Sam steady himself and place him on his bed and walk over to Dean. " What the hell is wrong with you?" I exclaimed as I pushed him into the wall where his brother was thrown against. I never yelled at him before but then again I never saw him so ruthless towards Sam, the only person he can truly rely on. Before he can respond I make my way out the door slamming it shut. When I entered my room I laid back onto the door and slowly slid down crying. I'm not sure why I cried, maybe because I never wanted to yell at him like that, or maybe because I realized he was becoming more and more angry then usual.
Its about three in the morning when I decided to try to fall asleep. I haven't heard a sound from Dean and Sam after our little fiasco, so I lay in my bed starring into the darkness of my room… thinking. I yelled at him. I yelled at HIM. That little fact ate away at me more then I thought it would. I sat up in my bed, debating if I should go to their room. If I don't I know I'd be up for the rest of the night so I get up and put on some clothes. I walked to their room and opened the door as slowly and silently as possible. Sam was a hard sleeper, but Dean wasn't. Even in his sleep he was aware of his surroundings. I started to walk over to where Dean lay in his bed. His body facing the opposite direction of me, his bare back showing where the blanket wasn't covering. I stopped in the middle of the room and decided it could wait. As I turned back to the doorway I heard a faint voice " What's wrong? Cant sleep?" I turned back around to see Dean sitting up in his bed. His upper body now completely revealed, even in the dark I can see every muscle crease on his body. The hairs on the back of my neck standing on edge as I looked across the room at his gorgeous body, transfixed at the sight of him. " Kailee" he says snapping me out of my gaze. "I- I just …" I trailed off falling back into my daydream. Forcing myself to snap out of it I walk over and sit on the foot of his bed. " It's just, I never saw you like that. What happened? What were you two arguing about? I mean… you were reading to hurt your own brother." " It was nothing" he replies " We got a long day tomorrow. Now go get some sleep" he demands. I give him one last look and head over to the door, without turning I whisper " Good night Dean."
The next day, like he said, was a very long day. Our hunt was a huge and complete failure. The blame equally shared among us, at least until we got back to the hotel. Dean started yelling at us the moment we walked into the room. " What happened back there!" ," Dean we all-" Sam started, until Dean cut him off. " Maybe if you two would take this seriously-" I cut him off, he was pushing it. " You're as much to blame for today as we were! Who the fuck you think you are telling us we don't take this shit seriously? You're not the only one who lost someone to this thing! I've spent more then half my life in search of this god forsaking demon and you're here questioning my dedication to this hunt! " The room becomes silent. Feeling something roll down my face I lift my hands and wipe a tear off my cheek. I stair down at my wet fingers taking in everything I just said, I was so caught up in the commotion that I hadn't realized I had started crying. This was probably the first sign of emotion they've seen from me in weeks. After a very long minute Dean tells Sam to go out and buy some more equipment. Sam looks at me for an ok, I nod my head for him to leave and he grabs the keys to the '67 Chevy Impala and leaves. Keeping my head down I walk to the door " I'm going to sleep…" and disappear as the door shuts behind me.
I took a quick shower and put on a white spaghetti stringed top with matching boy shorts. My hair was completely soaked so I started to towel dry it creating more curls then there already was. I was about to get into bed until I heard a knock at my door. I opened it to see Dean already passing me up as he enters my room. He turns around to say something but stops mouth open at the sight of what I'm wearing. Speechless and motionless he just stands there, his eyes fixed on my long legs.
" What do you want Dean?" snapping him back to reality, keeping the door open.
" Yeah- uh" he falters
" Dean! What do you want?"
" You've been acting weird… you've changed. What's wrong with you?" he reply in a demanding voice
" People change Dean. Like I said, I'm fine."
" You keep saying you're fine, but you're not! Something's wrong and you're not telling me about it. What are you hiding!" his voice slightly rose.
" I don't know what your talking about!" I began to yell.
" Like hell you do! " his face tensed, filling with anger as I avoided the question .
Getting nervous I yelled " Get out of my room!"
"Not till you tell me what's wrong!"
" EEERRRGGG! You! I cant have you! That's what's wrong! YOU! NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
In the blink of an eye he comes at me, lifting me up by my waist onto his, as he pushes me into the door slamming it shut. Our lips lock, his hands roughly riding up my legs. My arms wrapped around his neck in a passionate kiss. The weight of his body against mine and the pressure of the door on my back, creating a painful pleasure I only thought would ever exist in my dreams. His kiss becoming more and more intense with every second that passes by. My hands make their way down his muscular arms leaving deep scratches embedded into his skin as he gives out a small grunt of pain. He begins pulling off his shirt while I start undoing his pants. I'm so anxious that my hands stumble over each other "I cant!" I whisper breathlessly . He gives out a low chuckle and does it himself. He thrust me back into the door slamming me up against it, his hands interlocked with mine pinning them over my head. Both of us breathing heavily wanting each other more and more. His body begins to sweat from the heat emitting between us, mine still wet from the shower. The door behind me begins to open pushing me and Dean off it. As a reflex I drop my legs off him and catch myself before I stubble to the floor. Dean automatically zips up his pants pulling away from me. In the door way is Sam. Ugh, Great timing. He stands there looking at Dean and me " Did I interrupt something?", "Uh- No" I reply. Dean shoots me a look of confusion as he stands there shirtless and sweaty. Sam ignores the look on his brothers face knowing what ever was going on had to wait " C'mon, we gotta go. I just had another vision…" he looks at me "It's at your sister house."
Jumping into action, we all rush out the door into the darkness ahead of us. All you hear is a car speed off into the silence of the night. A faint voice comes from the room Dean and I were in and a shadow appears looking out the door " Now, I know your weakness."