Oh, Yes!

Summary: A parody (and somewhat sequel) of the other story 'Faster, Faster!' Marco comes home to hear noises from his room. Again.
Warning: Maybe yaoi, maybe not. ;) Sexual references, AU, ooc

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It had been another long day for Marco and he was completely wiped-out. Once again he wanted to do nothing more than grab a book, plop down on his bed, and fall asleep while reading his favorite book. Especially after today's events. The owner of the zoo he was temporarily stationed at had asked him to go out and study a pair of ospreys that had nested up north. He agreed, of course, for several different reasons. One, it was his job and he needed the money. Two, he had always wanted to study ospreys. Three, they were one of his favorite types of birds. Unfortunately things had not gone as planned.

Marco went out with his voice-recorder and pair of binoculars, setting himself up in the tall grass near the edge of a lake. Above hovered a male osprey and about 150 yards to the north-east was his nest and mate. He watched in awe as the male spotted a fish beneath the surface of the lake and dived at it, and Marco held his breath. It was a beautiful sight; to see the creature come out of the water with a large fish that must have weighed three pounds, its wings beating fiercely as it made its way to its home. It dropped the fish down into the nest next to its mate and Marco quietly talked into his recorder on its behavior. Then it came back for another fish. A light breeze blew through the grass and his blond hair, and the osprey drew closer until it was almost right above him.

And then it dove again.

Marco blinked as the graceful creature held its sharp talons out and ready to make another catch. Problem?

It was headed right for Marco's head.

He barely had anytime to dodge as the bird's talons grazed his scalp, leaving three thin cuts. He recovered from the shock and looked up just in time to see the sea hawk make a u-turn high in the air, coming back at him again. He quickly scanned his brain again as to why the bird was attacking him, seeing as he was posing no threat to it or its nest. Then it hit him. The bird mistook his hair that had blowing in the wind as a fish swimming in water. Marco gave a curse as the bird missed his again. He soon found himself screaming at the bird and trying to bat it away as it continually pulled at his hair and pecked his head.

Yeah, today definitely had not gone as he hoped it would have. He lightly flinched at the red scratches that littered his head. Luckily, only four of them had broke the skin but even they were nothing more than paper-cuts. So he really wanted to do nothing more than sleep. Walking through the front door, he placed his duffel-bag onto a kitchen chair and his recorder on the table. Luffy was sitting at said table playing a game on his PSP, tilting his entire upper body left and right as if it would actually help him in the game. "Go, go, go, go… Left, left! Okay…. Right… Up… Down…. Up again… Up… Uuuuuuppp…. Left… Now down… doooowwwnnn… dooowwwnnnnn…. NO NOT THAT FAR DOWN! GAH! RUN! RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN- NO NOT THAT WAY YOU BAKA! TURN AROUND! GO THAT- NO THE OTHER- YES! NOW RUN!" Luffy stood up from his seat,- the system only inches from his face- completely absorbed in his game that he still hadn't noticed Marco had entered. "RUN! HE'S GETTING CLOSER! RUN YOU- NO! NONONONONONO! NOOOOO! YOU STUPID PIECE OF- Eh? Oh, I won. Wait, I won? Woo! I did it! I passed level th- Oh, Marco, when did you get in?" The blond could only stare at the teen who acted completely normal, as if he wasn't just screaming at a little console in his hands three seconds ago.

"Uh… I just got back. I see you're busy so I'll leave you to your… fun." He hadn't been sure if the word 'fun' was appropriate, but at this point he was too tired to care. Luffy opened his mouth to say something but stopped, closing it and holding his chin as he stared at the ceiling in thought. "Something wrong?"

"Yeah, I was supposed to tell you something. I forgot what it was though."

"Whatever, it can wait, whatever it is. I'm going in my room to sleep. Don't bother me unless you want to die." Luffy only laughed in response and Marco headed upstairs to his room. Back in the kitchen Luffy could be heard shouting at his PSP again and Marco simply rolled his eyes. As he set his hand on the doorknob to his shared bedroom, he heard some voices. Very odd sounding voices.

"Jeez Ace, take it easy!"

"Well you're the one who wanted it so badly…"

"If I remember-ah! If I remember correctly, we- ngh... both wanted it."

Marco's eyes widened and he took a step back from the door. Oh no, not again. This was not happening again. He remembered the last time something like this happened, he ended up embarrassed and Ace ended up as Law's experiment. Poor kid was missing for a week and came back nearly fried out of his mind. Luckily nothing was permanent. Otherwise they'd be stuck with an Ace who loved to space out staring at corners and singing 'I'm a little teapot' all day long in a little girl-like voice. Marco shivered at the thought.

"Ease up a bit, it'll make it easier."

"Are you sure you even put enough?"

"Trust me, I do this all the time. I know what I'm doing." Marco could almost hear Ace smirking and Law rolling his eyes right now. The sound of a bed shuddering came into earshot and Marco gave a sigh. They were messing with him again. Last time, Luffy and Law never let him live it down. They called him tomato face for four days straight before he finally snapped and threatened to snap their necks if they didn't stop. Whatever, Marco wasn't gonna fall for it again. He was too damn tired to put up with their incisive pranks and feeble attempts to embarrass him again. Opening the door with a thick sigh, he entered his room.

"Alright, nice try you guys, but I'm not falling for it–" Looking over at Law's bed, he was mortified to see Law and Ace both under the blankets, naked. Law was under Ace with his arms around the freckled male's neck and Ace was apparently mid-thrust when they were interrupted. Marco was lost in shock and could only stare on in mortification. Ace and Law blinked, all waiting for someone to break the silence. Ace was the one to do it.

"So… I'm guessing you got home early?" Marco gave a light nod, finally regaining his motor functions and common sense. He quickly turned around, his face red as a beet.

"I-I'm sorry! I thought it was just another prank, I didn't think you two were actually-" he spluttered before Law cut him off.

"Well, I don't blame you. We have been trying to trick you into blushing… So I guess this kind of evens out."

From downstairs, Luffy loud voice could be heard. "Oh, Marco! I remember what I was supposed to tell you! Don't go in your room! Ace and Law are having sex!" Marco nearly choked at Luffy's bluntness.

"After that, I bet all our neighbors know the truth now," Law commented, giving a small sigh. Ace only chuckled.

"Well, we should have expected that much from him." A silence followed shortly after and Marco continued to stare at the wall. "Well, this is weird."

"How do you think I feel?"

"Oh, that's right. We didn't even think about that." The two looked at each other and Marco couldn't help but sneak a look over his shoulder. There was a sound of mischief in their voices. They smirked and grinned playfully as they looked back to the blond. "Do you wanna join?" Law stuck his tongue out and Ace gave a wink.

Marco's face went completely deep red. And this time, it wasn't just from embarrassment.

"GET OUT!"

Ace and Law suddenly found themselves locked outside the house and stuck in the front yard with nothing more than blankets wrapped around their waists. The neighbors all stared and Ace set his hands on his hips, unashamed to show off his hickeys and lack of clothing. Law looked right back at the neighbors, his eyes daring them to make even one snarky comment at them. "Well," the older male spoke, giving a few nods as him and Law's suitcases were thrown into the yard beside them. "That went better than I expected."

Marco slammed the front door shut and closed his eyes, taking in several deep and slow breaths to calm himself. 'Finally,' he thought, 'I can finally go to sleep. They won't be back for a week, which gives me all the time in the world to relax…' As he passed into the living-room, he spotted Luffy on the couch staring at something silver in his hands. 'Just walk away, Marco. Go upstairs, lay down, and go. to. sleep.' But Marco found himself walking towards the teen, curious to see what he was looking at. The innocent teen looked up with a grin and Marco knew this wasn't going to end good. "Look what I found, Marco!" And as Luffy hit play on the voice-recorder, Marco's screams and the osprey's shrieking echoed in the room. "Shishishi! Marco got attacked by a bird today!" Luffy laughed. And laughed. And laugh–

Luffy suddenly found himself and his suitcases of clothes thrown onto the front lawn with his two half-naked friends, obviously confused on what just happened. The three of them stood there and Luffy let out another laugh. "Hey you guys, guess what I found? A recording of Marco getting attacked by a bird!" Glowing mischievous eyes sparkled at the new information and a new idea sparked in their minds.

'Blackmail time.'

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Blah. Tired. Exhausted. If it's not funny, I'll edit it later. Just a random thing that popped into my mind. So many people do the 'They're not really doing it' thing, so I decided to make them really doing it. XD *sighs* My mind has been such a dork lately. It literally hatched fifty ideas in the past week and I can't work on any of them because I have to finish the stories I'm currently working on… Curse you brain!

Anyway, I hope you readers take the time to review this. And if you have an extra five seconds, please take the poll on my page? Thank you all so much! Take care, ne?

Ice is the heart's death beat, water is the mind's defeat
~roo the psycho