I Promise, Eiri Yuki
I stare up at what seems to be the eternal, petrifying darkness my lover and I have been dreading for quite a long-ass time now. But in reality I know it's only the back of my probably red and puffy eyelids. I can't open them... my eyes I mean... I don't really want to. I don't want to see anybody's face... anybody. I don't want to have to keep my gaze upon the white and colorless ceiling for any longer- I've done enough of that. Just lying there, rotting.
I can feel his hand on mine. His voice is muffled but sounds so relaxing anyway. Like a dream. And I know I'll have to open my eyes someday... because if I didn't... then that would make Eiri sad... I can't make him sad... I want him to be happy.
I could feel the tumor- not literally... but I can sense destroying my brain... eating it away. I probably can't talk anymore... or move right. This is gonna be hell when I wake up, isn't it? I can remember being wheeled off- I was sure that I would die... but I told Eiri I'd be okay. That kind of thing changes you... you know? Being wheeled off to a tiny room where many people have probably died, to get your head chopped open. He cried. He cried when I was taken away. I saw it.
Damn... my head hurts so much... guess that'll happen when someone decides to crack open your skull. Hm... what was it called... a cranio...tomy... craniotomy. Haha... a fancy word for cracking open your skull. I want to go home. My head hurts... I want to go home.
"It okay Shu-chan, we can go home soon, you just have to get better." Haha, how did he know what I was thinking? I found myself chuckling. Wait... did I say that out loud? "Shuichi..." Suddenly light flooded my senses, blinding my already blurry vision. My eyes hurt. My body hurt. My head hurt. Even breathing was hard to do. Damn. I can almost make out the depressing sight of the the hospital room's ceiling. Fuck.
I can hear Eiri clearly now. "Shuichi? Thank god!" As my vision adjusted, I could make out a blurry yellow blob, lying down on my chest. It was distant... but I think I heard him crying.
"Hey... you." Wait. Wait it... what...? What was his name? Oh my god... well fuck it... all... I'm here and he's here... doesn't matter. "Oh yeah! Your that... um... your my Yuki aren't you?" I could hear my voice- I slurred my words and almost couldn't pronunciate them correctly.
"Yes, I'm your Yuki." I chuckled. That was funny.
"Your my snow? Yeah... you are." The light was fuzzy, and there was a tiny green thingy with red and green lights flashing on and off on the stand beside me. My throat was dry, my voice cracked and I couldn't make sense of what was going on around me. I switched my attention back over to Yuki, it looked like he was wiping tears out of his eyes. "Hey... Yuuuki."
"Yeah?"
"Is this heaven?" A long pause. The silence ate away at my ears. C'mon Yuki... say something... anything...
"No... your alive... remember the s... surgery?" It sounded like it was hard for him to say that word. One I refer to as the 'S' word.
"Oh... yep!" My head shook side to side for a moment, then I remembered, and I nodded my head up and down instead. "Uh-huh... my head hurts." I reached up, toward my head, though my arm seemed to twitch there for a moment. I gently touched my head- there was something hard around it... a cast of some sort I'm sure. "Oh no..."
"What is it? Are you okay?" Yuki grabbed my hand, I could hear the worry in his deep voice.
"Am I gonna be bald?" I could hear him chuckling, what's funny? "I don't wanna shave my head. Uh uh... no." Woah. I'm getting dizzy...
"I'm sure we can figure out something... Shuichi... are you feeling okay?"
"Mhm... having my head cracked open is really... relaxing." I could make out a smile on his face. I smiled too. "Yuki?"
"What is it?"
"I really... love you, ya know?"
"I know. I really love you too." I patted his hand that was still holding my own.
"When I get better... your gonna take me on a date, you got it?" I poked his chest- or at least what I thought was his chest, my eyesight was still pretty messed up.
"Got it." I felt his hand on my cheek, he rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip. I felt warmness press itself against my other cheek... it felt familiar... oh, yes. He gave me a kiss.
"What was it called again... the thingy in my head?" I was curious. I must've forgotten...
"A Pituitary Adenoma."
"That's a... weird... word. I'm sleepy."
"It's okay... go to sleep..." I could hear something wrong in his voice... it wasn't right...
"And I promise... I'll... wake up..." Darkness overtook my senses, my mind, my sight. It felt so good. I promise, Eiri Yuki. I'll wake up soon.
Hey guys, so what'd you think? Writing this was pretty hard, in 2 ways really. A) I had to look up Brain tumors, and how they effect you, and how it would specifically effect a 19 year old male, and what was the most common type of brain tumor, ways to cure brain tumors, and how to cure it. I'm only in high school- but this was a pretty interesting thing learn a little a bit about. B) It was emotionally hard- when I was three, I remember being in the hospital on the day my Gramma died, and I was begging Mom for a coke from the coke machine. O_o Yikes. It's still pretty hard to think about it, because I didn't understand it at all back then. So, yeah hope you liked it! Please review! :)
PS: I may continue it... if I have the inspiratipon ;) ;) ;) (REVIEW and I might)