Jimmy looked at his wife and daughter and a sadness as heavy has any chains came over him. He saw shock, confusion and fear on their faces. He wished he could comfort them, put his arms around them, hold them close and tell them everything would be ok. It had been so long since he had done that that he had almost forgotten what it was like. When Claire had hugged him at home he had been surprised by how much she had changed, even over 12 months. She wasn't his baby girl anymore, but the beginning of a great woman. The fact that she had been willing to sacrifice herself, as he had, to save her family - she really was growing up. The look on her face now though was still that of a child, scared and abandoned and he could do nothing for her. He couldn't even say her name because even though he was alive and in his body, it was not him who controlled it. He could do nothing as the face that was no longer his stared dispassionately at his broken family while his soul wept the tears his eyes would not shed. Too quickly he was turned away and they slipped from his vision. He desperately tried to turn back, knowing this would be the last time he would see them. With a resigned sigh he stopped fighting for control and retreated into the subconscious of his mind, where he wouldn't have to feel his loss, or anything, anymore.
Sometime later, he had no idea when, he felt a prodding at the edge of his awareness.
"What do you want Castiel?" Jimmy asked, simultaneously annoyed at being brought back to consciousness and shocked at being acknowledged by the intruder in his body.
"I'm...sorry. For your loss..." There was hesitation and uncertainty in the words. Jimmy got the impression Castiel had never had to apologise to or console anyone before.
"You're not sorry. If you were sorry you would never have come. You would have left us alone, left me with my family! Now they will constantly be in danger and I won't be there to protect them!"
"We will protect them."
Jimmy huffed. "You said that before Cas, and look what happened." There was uncomfortable silence then, as Castiel thought about what to say next.
"We are doing God's work and we will be rewarded. You and your family will be rewarded."
"Rewarded with what? A painful bloody death?"
"Maybe, but you will also walk in God's presence."
"You don't even walk in God's presence Cas, and you're an angel! How am I supposed to believe anything good will come from this?"
"You need to have faith Jimmy."
Jimmy huffed again. "I don't want faith Cas. I don't want God. I just want it to be over."
Silence spread between them again.
"It can be over for you Jimmy, if you really want it to be. Your soul will be received in heaven any time you want it to be. You just have to let go."
"...and have faith? In what?"
"Have faith in me, Jimmy. I will see you to heaven, and keep your family safe."
With everything Jimmy had seen, heard and felt, he knew better than anyone how unlikely that would be. He also knew if any angel was going to even try and do it, it would be Castiel. He felt calmer, peaceful and there was the sensation of being on a rocking boat. He realised the sensation was coming from Castiel and tried to fight it off but Castiel persisted. He was feeding his Grace into Jimmy's soul. Soon Jimmy felt as though he was totally immersed in water, drowning but oddly not afraid.
"My Grace will see you to heaven. You just have to let go."
Jimmy fought a little longer but soon stopped. The full power of Castiel's Grace surrounded him and he was filled with peace and joy he had never experienced before. He felt as though he were on the edge of all existence. Castiel was giving him what he wanted, an end, a way for it all to stop. Jimmy thought one last time of Claire and Amelia, wished Castiel to keep them safe like he said, then let his soul slip over the edge of oblivion.