DISCLAIMER::: NOW SO NONE OF YOU CAN FIGHT ME IN COURT, I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS, I WISH I DID, BUT I DON'T. THE ONLY THING I OWN IS THE STORY, NOT THE CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!
Hello readers. How are you on this lovely day, yes I know very good. But you must be bored, or else you wouldn't be on the website getting ready to read this fic. Now would you. Now I am really tired of not getting reviews, it sucks. I'm pretty bored at the moment to, I am watching Garfield. Yay. It is so much fun. Not. But I am going to try and entertain myself, by writing a humorous story. Well at least I hope it will be humorous. I'v written 90 words so far. It's pretty beastly. I'm up to 100 now. That's even more beastly. My thing on word says it's up to 114 now. Yes, well now that I have entertained myself with giving you people the mathmatical caculations of Microsoft Word 2007. I must tell you people that, I want reviews, I mean what kind of author would I be if I didn't ask for reviews. Well apparently my last threat of saying that I'm going Kill all of you in your sleep did not work, and I have not thought of a very good threat yet, but as I'm writing this story, I will think of a good one to write at the end of this lovely lovely, humorous, story. And by the way it's up to 256 words. That's beast. But just so you all know. I spent 268 words of this story dragging on and on and on. 279. oh yea by the way ONE-SHOT!! 292.
BECAUSE I FREAKING SAID SO!!!!!!!
THE ONE AND ONLY CHAPTER!!!
Draco's POV
She's a bloody menace, I swear she should be locked up in some padded room, just for the sake of it. We shouldn't have been worried about Voldy going Moldy, we should have been worried about this bloody menace I call my girlfriend. Yes, well I'm sure you are all wondering about why this menace is defined as a menace. Well like I said, she is my girlfriend, not my best choice by the way, I must have been under the influence of alchol when this happened. Anyway she's just so bloody evil. I say one thing wrong and I get a wand whipped out on me. She might as well go ahead and kill me, because if I spend the rest of my life with her, she will, I KNOW SHE WILL. Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone, did I just say spend the rest of my life with her. Yes well it's time to take a visit to St. Mungo's, I'll just go ahead and unhold that phone and call in a room for a couple of years, with nice nurses, and puzzles, yes puzzles, that sounds lovely, animal puzzles, animals WITHOUT red hair, freckles, brown eyes. Maybe my old buddy Lockhart will become best buddy's WITH ME!!!
Draco snap out of it. Your going to end up in St. Mungo's if you keep thinking like this. Yes well I'm sure you'd all like to know how I got into this situation of me being even associated with this evil menace. Okay, well then we need to have a flashback.
FLASHBACK!!! IN 3RD PERSON POV. ALSO KNOW AS NO ONE'S POV. IDDIOT'S!! ALL OF YOU!!!!!
On this faitful night 2 years prior to Draco on his way to get animal puzzles, he was patrolling the halls in a cat like way, jumping around, tiptoeing, running into suits of armor,hitting his head on walls. The usual. He was doing his Head Boy duties, I don't know why or how he became head boy, because you can't deny it, he's a freaking iddiot. Anyway as Draco was "gracefully" doing his duties he heard a noise, and Draco got scared, you see Draco has never ran into anyone while on patrol, this scrared Draco immensly. So Draco, being himself said something witty. Well I guess it kind of depends on what you classify as "witty".
"Who's there?" Draco said quivering. "Show yourself. Grr I say GRRR!!!!"
No, I was mistaken, you can't classify that as witty. You can classify that as stupidity.
But then he heard laughter throughout the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry also know as the "Crackpot school". "WHO ARE ARE!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!! A MALFOY!!! THE NERVE!!!!!!" Draco, cried out, yes litterlay cried.
Now little did cry baby Draco know, that this night would, sadly, in his uncared about opinion, would change his life. Forever.
"Tsk tsk Malfoy. You should really come up with better demanding phrases that do not consist of "Grr I say GRR!!" Mocked none other than Ginny Weasley.
"It wasn't my best moment!!!" Draco quivered, yes quivered.
And everybody thought Malfoy's were sophisticated.
"Yes, well I don't care. I'm here for a favor actually Malfoy. But know that I see how you act, I don't know if you're the best person for the job." Ginny taughting him.
"But I wanttttttttttttt to do ittt." Whined the poor, poor little boy.
Yes isn't totally disabled to be a Malfoy, he does know how to get what he wants. By whining, ususlly.
"If you stop whining then yes, you can help me, but only because I think you're the best person for the job."
"YAYYYYYY!!!"
Poor poor Draco, maybe 's would be good for him.
"Never do that again. Ever. Anyway, I need you to pretend to go out with me. My brother Ron, is being very jerkish. Don't question my word, and don't use my word, it's mine. Anyway, and yes I just did say anyway again. I do need your help, I thought that I would never hear those words out of my mouth, but yes they did come out. So we will start tommorow. Any questions? No. That's what I thought. Well goodnight Malfoy, meet me by the Great Hall in the morning. Have fun skipping, or whatever you Slytherin's do." Ginny then saunterd off.
"Wait, Slytherin's don't skip. We jump in the air with every step we take." Draco then "jumped with every step he took" down the hall.
Draco is pathetic really. When you skip, not only do you jump, but you also raise one foot in the air. He's such an iddiot.
"I'm a pretty princess, I'm a pretty princess." Draco repeated this. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, as he made his way to the great hall.
"Yes yes whatever you say Malfoy. Anyway, let's get this show on the road. Grab my hand." Demanded Ginny as she walked up.
Really Draco, really.
Draco grabbed her hand. Shocker.
They then walked into the Great Hall with Draco still chanting, I'm a pretty princess, quietly under his breathe. The Great Hall went deathly silent.
"AHHHHHH!!! HELP!! HELP ME!!! HELP!!!! HELP!!!! AHHHHHH!!!! IT'S A BUGGG!!!!!!" some random person broke the silence, by screaming. Loudly.
"GINERVA MOLLY WEASLEY!!! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT HOLDING HANDS WITH PEOPLE!! At least it's not Malfoy." Ron said, and then sat down again, and began to shove his mouth full of food.
"BUT RONNN IT IS MALFOY!!!!!"! Another random person screamed. Again. Loudly.
"GINERVA MOLLY WEASLY!!!! STOP HOLD HANDS WITH MALFOY RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!! I WILL DISOWN YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron screamed.
Jeez, there's a lot of screaming going around here.
"Hey Weasly, you brother's pretty mad." Draco said.
"Really? I hadn't notice. I hope you notice my sarcasm."
"You want to make him ever madder?"
"Sure."
"Kiss me."
"What?"
"Kiss me."
"LOOK THERE'S HAVING A LOVER'S FIGHT!!! AWW!!!" again with the screaming random people.
"Why would I kiss you?"
"Because you love me?"
"Try again."
"Because you want to?"
" Try again."
"BECAUSE I FREAKING SAID SOOO!!!!!" (a/u BOOM!! THERE'S THE TITLE BABY!!!!)
"Umm okay."
They then leaned in and kissed. And from then on, they did a lot of kissing. And a lot of explanations consisted of "BECAUSE I FREAKING SAID SO!!!".
And yes, they did spend the rest of their lives together. And no, Draco didn't get his animal puzzles, Ginny wouldn't let him. D: And no, him and Lockhart didn't become best friends, and no Draco didn't get killed from Ginny, just a few hex's and bumps and bruises. And no one really know's why that specific day Draco was calling Ginny a menace, it was probally because she told him to act like Malfoy's were supposed to act and stop acting like a Longbottom. That did happen a lot. Yes, Ron did beat Draco up for dating his sister, and yes Draco did become ever more abnormal for getting knocked out. Thanks Ron.
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha ha good good story. I think it's quite funny. I want some reviews telling me how lovely I am and how so loved I am. I will love you guys if you do. Really, we could get married and everything. YAY!!!! And by the way this story equaled out to 1,545 words. Now it's 1,549. 1,051.