They Aren't Here Anymore
Summary: The nights are the hardest part. It's the emptiness that eats at you, unable to forget who isn't there anymore. (Drabble)
Disclaimer: No, silly, I never have nor will I ever own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders. *sighs* :( I simply borrow them for my own creative enjoyment purposes.
Ponyboy
The nights are the hardest parts.
The emptiness of it all. The sound from the TV that was keeping you sane has already been shut off, signaling that even your oldest brother has finally went to bed, leaving you completely alone. Not even the trains are awake tonight, the last rumble from the nearby tracks was heard hours ago. Everyone's asleep.
Except for you.
Because you can't sleep. Not without knowing your parents are sleeping in their bedroom down the hall, peaceful and safe. Not without looking forward to waking up to your mother's cooking. Not without being able to wake up to your father's rough, worn hands poking at your sides to tickle you awake.
Everything's different now. And you can't handle it. You're falling apart, but no one notices. You're grades are slipping, and you still can't sleep, even after doing what the doctors said. You dread night time.
The days are hard. But nights are even harder.
Because during the day, you can forget. You can drown yourself in a book. Or with a pack of smokes, the nicotine making the pain much more bearable. But at night, there's nothing to distract you.
The memories are the hardest part.
It's like a weight on top of your chest that you can't get rid of. Remembering the way your father said he loved you, his voice husky with a hint of southern drawl that always came out when he talked. Remembering the way your mom would kiss her boys goodbye every time they walked out the door, no matter how old they were or how much they complained. Now, you would give anything to have her kiss you just one last time.
Then you get to thinking about what they'll never do. The memories they'll never get to make with you. Knowing that they'll never see you graduate high school. They'll never be there at your wedding, and they'll never be there to send you off to college, tears in your mother's warm, green eyes as she smiles her proud smile.
It's all been taken from you. It's why you can't sleep. It's also why when you do, you wake up screaming for them.
But they aren't there. Not anymore.
Stay Gold,
~ Alee Xxx