Summary: Sebastian realizes that Ciel's soul is missing one crucial flavor: heartbreak. The cunning butler knows exactly how to resolve this before his Young Master's time on earth comes to an end. Abuse fic, NOT true romance.
Rated M: sexual abuse (not explicit), emotional abuse, mature themes
Author's note: Just a disclaimer, I do not ship SebastianxCiel romantically. I decided to write a story with a more realistic bent to the nature of their relationship if it ever were to turn sexual. This story was written with the intention to be a full deconstruction of what such a relationship would actually entail. The subtitle for this story might as well be: "Sebastian Is a Bastard".
*Includes spoilers for Kuroshitsuji Season 2*
Chapter 1
The time was two o'clock in the afternoon and a raven-haired man had just entered the doors of the Phantomhive library. With feather duster in hand and a smile on his pale visage, he quickly approached the leather-bound volumes with great furor. Once the bottom shelves were completely cleared, he then grabbed a stool and stood on it in order to reach the top of the mahogany shelves.
The man named Sebastian was not truly a man at all. But he was a creature that was skilled in masquerading as one. On this particular day, he could not help but grin as he worked. If it were in his nature, he would have even hummed a tune. Was the work menial? Of course. Was it enjoyable in the slightest? Absolutely not. But not even the irritating cloud of dust could dim his mood that day. He was doing what he always did when he completed his tasks alone—fantasizing about the meal he would eventually make of his Young Master's soul.
The boy's soul was a rare one at that. Beautifully delicate yet preternaturally strong-willed. It exuded a sweet purity and yet it was tinged with great trauma and hate. Imagine that: a touch of bitterness to balance out the almost saccharine purity. Sebastian paused his work to lick his lips in anticipation. With eyes closed, he rolled his tongue as he imagined the texture of it in his mouth. Every traumatic incident in the boy's life would be a pungent note of sinful flavor. The despair at finding his parents dead and childhood home destroyed? Check. The physical pain he endured from his time with the cult? Check. The grief over the recent death of his beloved aunt? Check. Existential angst over his impending death and condemnation to Hell? Check. Yet despite all of that, the Young Master's soul would still have a prevailing taste of its strength and purity. It would not be completely overpowered by bitterness and misery. No, the boy was too remarkable to let that happen.
Sebastian snapped out of his moment of ecstasy and resumed clearing dust bunnies off of the top shelf. As exquisite as the boy's soul would be, he knew that there had to be just one more way to guarantee its complexity. Just enough to make the boy's soul even more full bodied and rich in taste—much like a fine wine. If he could just push it a little further. Just enough to scar the child but not break him. But is that even possible?
Sebastian's chain of thought was interrupted when his fingers brushed against an unexpected find. Covered in an inch of dust was a green leather book. The dark haired man picked up the volume in curiosity. Upon dusting it he could finally read the title.
The demon stared at the title in front of him. A perverse smile crept across his lips as he flipped through the pages. It seemed as if his unholy prayers had been answered.
-:-:-:-:-
A dark-haired teen boy entered the library with great haste. Sunday was his day off from administrative work and nobility lessons. Four o'clock was the beginning of his personal reading time and he intended to find a suitable book that he had not yet read before.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that his favorite edition of Hound of the Baskervilles was hanging off of the shelf. Its spine was angled outwards as if someone was about to retrieve it. Ciel sighed and walked over to the shelf to correct it. After sliding the novel back into place, he noticed that further down the shelf yet another book was out of place. Sebastian may be the one responsible for cleaning it once every few months, but this clearly could not be his doing. The boy cursed Mey-Rin under his breath. He and the staff have caught her reading novels on the job numerous times. Of course, it was her.
Upon walking towards the second book he noticed that it was one he had not seen before. It was bound in bright green leather and its text was printed in gold. The boy pulled the volume out to have a better look at the title:
"Sexual Organs and Perversions: A Scientific Exploration"
A blush settled on Ciel's cheeks. On impulse, he looked over his shoulder to see if anyone else had stepped into the study. His Anglican upbringing and noble education taught him exactly how to feel about such base desires. Did he really need a book to enlighten him? However...the scientific element did pique his curiosity. He gingerly flipped through the pages, still incredulous at what he held in his hands. He briefly glimpsed at the titles of chapters such as "Fellatio" and "Masturbation".
This isn't mine. Who would own such...a peculiar book?
The boy came across a lithographic illustration of a man and a woman on a chaise sofa. The man's head was underneath the woman's dress and between her legs. The woman was splayed out on the sofa in discernible ecstasy. He felt an immediate wave of shame and slammed the book shut. On the back of the volume, he felt an imprint in the leather. He turned it over to read the imprint:
Translated from German and Italian
Property of Oxford Medical College
Ciel sighed. He realized that he knew exactly who owned the book. The boy fought back tears as he remembered his late aunt, the homicidal doctor. He gathered his composure and stuffed the book under the left breast of his frock. He then held his left arm tight to his body in order to conceal the object under his clothes.
Well...he always aspired to develop a scientific acumen just as his aunt possessed. And he was quite curious. Why not?
The boy quickly exited the library and rushed towards the direction of his bedchambers. He certainly could not be caught with such a sordid article in public!
Author's Note:
It should really go without saying, but any further reference to homosexuality or "perversions" is not my personal beliefs on sexual orientation. I am instead referencing some older beliefs of the time and how homosexuality was often conflated with fetishes and aberrant behavior.
End note