My heart is pounding in my throat, threatening to choke me. I try to steady myself, but my knees are trembling to the point where I think I might fall over.
42 times, I think, unable to help myself. Gale's name is in 42 times. The odds are definitely not in his favor.
I know the chances of Prim being picked are slim to none, seeing as her name has only been entered one time, so I don't let myself worry for her. I am slightly worried for myself because my name is in the reaping twenty times; Ever since I turned twelve I've been forced to take tesserae for not only myself, but for my mother and sister as well. We would never have survived without it, so what choice did I have? But the worry I feel for myself is nothing compared to the utter fright I am feeling right now for Gale. It's his last year in the reaping, but I doubt many others have their name in as many times as he does.
Before I know it, Effie Trinket is clicking her way across the stage in impossibly high heeled shoes, the kind of thing only someone in the Capitol could wear. Her face is distorted by a wide smile and she seems to be inquiring about an empty seat on the stage. At least, I assume that's what she's asking about, because she's pointing at it.
I can hardly pay attention as Mayor Undersee tells the story of Panem, but it doesn't matter; The story is the same every year and I've heard it more times than I'd like to remember. The only thing I can let myself think about is Gale, and how much I don't want his name to be drawn. I won't be able to breathe again until the reaping is over and I know we're both safe.
"Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!" Effie Trinket's voice rings out clearly across the square and I snap back to reality. She's about to draw the names. My breaths become shorter and my chest tightens.
She's gives a short speech, but my head feels like it has been stuffed with cotton; I hear her words but I can't make them out.
"Ladies first!" she says and I freeze. I can already hear her saying my name as she swirls her hand around in the ball of names and chooses one of the tiny slips of paper.
She trots back over to the microphone and unfolds the piece of paper. I squeeze my eyes shut and hope, with all my might, that it's not me. That it's not prim.
"Madge Undersee!"
There are gasps across the clearing and Mayor Undersee's expression falters. The last person anyone expected to be chosen for the reaping was the mayor's daughter. After all, she had never had to worry about taking tessera and her name was in the fewest amount of times possible for someone her age. As she makes her way toward the stage, everyone in District 12 is reminded of a very simple, daunting fact: No one is safe from the reaping.
I watch her take her position on the stage, her blonde hair gleaming in the sunlight. Even from where I stand I can tell she is crying and I feel my heart drop. I don't know if Madge and I are exactly friends, but we spend a lot of time together at school. Apart from Gage and my family and Greasy Sae at the Hob, I'm closer to Madge than anyone else in the district, but that doesn't matter now.
"And now, for the boys," Effie Trinket smiles and she steps over to the other glass ball.
My chest tightens again as she twirls her hand around among the paper slips. My hands are clenched so tightly into fists that I've lost feeling in my fingers. Not Gale, not Gale, not Gale...
She unfolds the paper and positions herself in front of the microphone. And then my worst nightmare becomes a reality.
"Gale Hawthorne!"
My eyes search the crowd and they find him. I expect him to be surprised or even upset but the only look in his eyes is one of fury. His jaw is clenched tightly, his eyes narrowed as he stares ahead at Effie Trinket. And how could he not be? This was supposed to be his last year to participate in the reaping, and now he'll be participating in the Hunger Games.
I watch him walk toward the stage, his hands clenched in fists at his sides. I want to call out to him, to run up behind him and grab him before he is out of my reach, but the only thing I can do is watch as he takes the stage. He and Madge are forced to shake hands before they are swept into the Justice Building by a group of Peacekeepers.
The crowd disburses and I rush toward the Justice Building. I know that the tributes are allotted time to say goodbye to their friends and family, and I have to see Gale even if it's just for a moment. I find myself waiting with his mother and siblings in one of the hallways on the second floor; We don't speak, but it is comforting to not be alone.
After a long minute, a Peacekeeper comes and leads Mrs. Hawthorne and her children into a room at the end of the hall. I watch eagerly, knowing that just on the other side of the door stands Gale. In a few moments, I will get to see him, but what will I say? How could I possibly tell him everything I need to say in just a few, short minutes?
Mrs. Hawthorne and her children are ushered out of the room and down the hallway passed me. They don't meet my eyes, but it is clear they have all been crying. I watch them go, wishing that there was something I could say or do to comfort them, but I know that it is pointless. District 12 has only ever had two winners, and even though I know how strong and smart Gale is, and I know that he has a good chance in the Games, Mrs. Hawthorne is already grieving for her oldest son.
Another Peacekeeper escorts me to the end of the hall and opens the door for me.
Gale opens his mouth to say something, but I fling myself across the room and into his arms before he has the chance. He embraces me tightly and speaks softly into my hair, "It's okay, Catnip. I'm alright."
"You have to win, Gale," I say the first thing that comes to mind. "You have to win and come home."
"I will," he promises. "I'm stronger than they are and I can hunt. Don't worry."
I pull away so I can meet his gaze. "That's easier said than done."
To my surprise, he smiles. "I can shoot and I can make snares; That's more than most of the tributes can say."
I try to smile, but my lip quivers instead.
"Can you do something for me, Catnip?" he whispers urgently, but I already know what he's going to ask.
"I won't let them starve. You know I won't."
The corner of his mouth curls into a smile. "You're right, I do know that. But that wasn't what I was going to ask."
His lips crash against mine and my heart skips a beat. Whatever I had been expecting, this was not it, but I tangle my fingers in his hair and kiss him back, hoping that the eagerness of my lips conveys everything I want to say but can't.
"I had to do that just once," he whispers as he pulls away.
A sudden noise behind me makes me jump and the Peacekeeper is there. "Time's up."
I hug Gale one last time, wishing that I could have a few more minutes alone with him.
"I'll see you soon," he promises.