The homunculi were superior to humans in every way. They could overpower them at any time, weren't subject to the same flaws (namely emotions, sickness, and, well, just about anything that made a human a human), and, most importantly of all, they could see the bigger picture. They could and would do what needed to be done, and everything that needed to be done was all a part of helping Father become the perfect being; nothing was more important than that. This was what Envy knew, knew for certain because Father himself had told him, and Father knew everything; was always right.

Envy also knew that he was the youngest homunculus, something of an experiment; like Pride and Lust and Greed, but also not. He had no real, stable form…or rather, he did, but Greed had made pretty clear to him early on that that particular form was far too hideous to ever actually be used. Instead, he had taken to imitating whatever human form he liked the look of, preferring to remain inconspicuous while above ground. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be human, ached to actually belong amongst them instead of merely acting as though he did. Once in a moment of sudden weakness he admitted this fantasy to Lust, and the look of scorn on her face was enough for him to decide it would be best never to bring it up again, although the ache never fully went away.

Of course, he knew that he was superior to a human in every way, but knowing and truly believing were not quite the same thing, a fact that steadily had begun to become clearer to him. Greed was the only other one of them who didn't seem to scorn humans with all their might, but Greed was strong and brave and useful and everything Envy was not. Sometimes when Envy paused to think about this, the ache would re-emerge in his chest, burning him from the inside out.

The ache was to plague him throughout his life, though it wasn't until his first kill that he managed to put a name to it.

It was only a few months into his existence when he was assigned what Greed called his first "real job". It was simple enough: hunt down a particularly nosy human and discreetly kill him, something any of them could have done, but Father wanted Envy to start to really put his abilities to the test. His shifting was still mediocre at best; his eye for detail was still somewhat lacking, and he still struggled with controlling his weight, but it was good enough for Father, and it was good enough for him to successfully corner the human, albeit after a chase that went on for far longer than he would have liked.

The man was standing in the front room of his house, brandishing some crudely made weapon that Envy was certain would do little damage, and yet still clinging to it as though it was his lifeline. A woman, his wife, stood shaking in the back corner, arms held protectively around a small child who looked on wide eyed, perhaps too young to understand what was happening, or smart enough to know not to make a fuss.

"Stay back," the man cried, "don't you dare take one step closer to my family. Do what you want to me, I don't give a shit, but you leave my wife and daughter out of this, you hear?"

Envy couldn't help but pause; this wasn't at all what he had expected. He'd heard all about humans' tendency to pathetically beg for their own life to be spared, but this? This readiness to sacrifice his own life for the sake of others that this man was showing, the sheer selflessness of the act was almost more than Envy could comprehend. Sure, the homunculi cared about each other to a degree, Lust especially had taken him under her wing, but would any of them actively put themselves in a position this dangerous for each other? The answer to that was pretty immediately obvious to him. If Lust wouldn't, then almost certainly the others wouldn't either; it would be stupid and illogical and far too human.

Envy felt the ache again, and this time he knew what it was. Of course; what else could it be? That god-awful blend of longing, resentment, and deep painful sense of being hollow, incomplete. Father had told him what his name meant, but only now did he truly understand.

He looked at the man; still yelling, still brandishing that pathetic weapon, doing everything he could within his pitiful lack of power to protect those he loved, and decided then and there that he wanted to be nothing like these sad creatures. He never would be, anyway, would never have that type of companionship that humans seemed to acquire so easily, so why bother pining for it, when simply taking it away from them could be so much easier?

Focusing his stone's energy on his hand, he morphed it into a blade, and with one deft movement too fast for his target to react to, he slit the man's throat as he had seen Lust do many times before. The human fell, gurgling and wide eyed, to the ground, blood spurting out from his throat, some splashing onto Envy in the process.

Huh. He hadn't expected blood to be this warm.

Perhaps he would have felt something else; remorse or guilt, but as he watched the human fall still he heard the woman let out a wail of pure despair, and the ache, the envy that had previously diminished somewhat with the slight satisfaction of the kill, returned tenfold in his chest. Turning it into the less painful emotions of anger and distain came easily, and before Envy knew what he was doing, the woman and child lay dead at his feet, and he was covered in blood, shaking and breathing hard, but the ache was gone, if only for a short time.

In later years he would come to find glee in the kill, in the banishing of that ache, but for now he could only feel numb as he stumbled back to the lair, blood still staining his hands.

"Look what the cat dragged in," crowed Greed from his perch on the pipes as Envy dazedly made his way into one of the main chambers, "was beginning to think we'd never see you again."

"Piss off Greed," Envy retorted, the words out of his mouth before he could stop them. Greed, somewhat taken aback, blinked, as much surprised at hearing Envy insult him as Envy was at hearing his own words. He was the youngest and by no means had the right to disrespect any of the others, but Lust, ever the smart (and reluctantly maternal) one, had already picked up on Envy's state and quickly intervened before the exchange could get out of hand.

"Knock it off, the two of you. Greed, you keep your mouth shut for once, and Envy…come with me, you're covered in blood for god's sake, what if someone had spotted you?"

"It's not my fault! Damn humans were bleeding everywhere, this was the most I could get off…" Envy trailed off at the look on his sister's face as she began to pull him away, "…what?"

"Humans? As in more than one? As in you managed to fuck up what must have been the simplest task Father could have given you?"

"They were witnesses Lust! What else was I supposed to do?"

"How about not have any witnesses to begin with, you-" Lust paused abruptly as she looked at her youngest sibling as though really taking in his state for the first time. He looked an absolute mess; the hair of whatever human form he'd taken matted with blood, and his eyes slightly glazed. It was clear he was still in some form of shock, whether he realised it or not, and yelling at him would do nothing to help right now. "You know what, never mind," she sighed, exasperatedly shoving him towards the bathroom, ignoring his childish noises of protest, "just… get washed up before you report back to Father."

Envy designed a unique form for himself not long after that, something attractive but nothing like how any human would present themselves; he no longer felt the need to imitate those weak beings, he told himself, he was better than them, he was superior in every way. As he had stared at his dishevelled reflection in that rusty bathroom mirror, he had come to the conclusion that the only way to stave off the ache was to bury it far down, never to be acknowledged again, only letting it fuel his disdain for humans and their whole pathetic society.

And also to design a sweet new form that no human could ever hope to achieve. Greed said it was gaudy, but what did he know? The asshole was still wearing fur in 1740, for god's sake.

A/N:

This is my first attempt at writing anything remotely creative in quite a while so I apologise if it came off as rushed; hopefully I'll begin to improve and write some much longer chapters as I get more into the swing of this.

Speaking of future writing, I do have plans to turn this into a full-length story based around the early days of the homunculi, who I've always felt never got the screen time they deserved, so if you'd be interested in reading anything like that, be sure to review and let me know! Or just let me know what you thought of this chapter, any feedback is greatly appreciated, really.

Thanks for reading!