Thanks to everyone reading this and a special 'Thank you' to my proof reader!
This story will be SFW here in FFnet since this website doesn't allow anything explicit. Some chapters will have parts posted exclusively in AO3 (archive of our own) and other websites that allow MA stories.
.
.
January 6th 2017
6:30am
.
.
"So Nick! Ready to make the world a better place?" I grin and put my fist up, staring at the sleepy fox behind the wheel.
Nick smirks lazily and snickers, raising his aviator shades from his muzzle, rolling his eyes, "We didn't arrive at work yet Carrots. Right now, my stomach is the only thing I'm planning on turning into a better place." He fist pumps me and drives away, licking his lips as he probably thinks about the donuts he will steal from Clawhauser when we arrive at the precinct.
"We're officers Nick! We're always on duty!" I counter but he ignores me, still licking his muzzle. Glutton! I roll my eyes, "You know Nick, one of these days he's going to discover who the elusive food thief is!" I wave my paws spookily and giggle.
"Then I'll just have to walk a little faster and I'll be home free." He laughs heartily.
Heh! Dumb fox!
I give his arm a playful punch "He's not that slow. Ben is a cheetah! He must be faster than you think."
"HA! Carrots, the only way Spots could outrun me is if he starts rolling downhill and picks enough speed to…!" Nick stops talking and his jaw drops as he stares in bewilderment at something.
What is he…?
"Sweet cheese and crackers!" My nose quivers and I stare shocked at the crowd gathered in front of precinct one.
There are at least forty females there, either holding signs or violently trying to force their way past a barrier of our fellow police officers. Our coworkers seem to be having a lot of trouble trying to keep the females from entering the precinct.
I haven't seen a scene like this since the protest at the Gazelle's peace rally during the Night Howler case.
"Maybe it is that time of the month!" Nick jokes as he parks his car near the precinct, out of the view of the furious females.
I roll my eyes and start analyzing the mob again. There are females of a wide variety of species in the angry mob, from prey to predator, big and small. Deer, tigresses, wolves, lambs, several lionesses, coyotes and even a grizzly bear are some of the species I can spot from here.
But why would they be doing this? The city has been peaceful lately. There's no reason for a riot.
I guess I can think about why they are doing this after they calm down, "Are you ready partner?" I look at Nick with a grin.
"Whoa, whoa. Wait a second, Carrots. We're not going in the middle of a bunch of angry females with sticks! It won't end well, I know from experience." Nick looks at the small scale riot going on, his ears laying flat on his head, "Especially when they have anti fox signs." He points.
Gasp! He's right! They do have several signs with a fox face on it, a red cross written over top of it. That's horrible! I scowl a little, "Let's go Nick! I won't stand for this discrimination!" I say resolutely and leave the car.
"You're going to be the death of me Carrots!" Nick sighs and then chuckles softly.
I roll my eyes and we make our way towards the crowd.
"Calm down people! What is going on here?" I raise my arms and gesture, trying to calm the mammals closest to me however they don't even notice my presence.
"Yeah ladies! Chill! This place is not a purse store giving limited discounts!" Nick jokes, smirking as usual.
Some of the females near us then freeze, slowly turning to us with dumbfounded expressions, as if they have just heard a building collapse. Nick and I exchange confused glances, shrugging. The joke was bad but it wasn't that bad!
"HE IS HERE!" A white tailed deer screams in fury, pointing her hoof at Nick.
Huh?!
Suddenly all females stop what they are doing and turn in our direction with murder in their eyes.
"Carrots… run!" Nick says as he sprints towards our colleagues.
"Don't leave me alone you dumb fox!" I run after him, dodging the incoming paws, hooves and claws coming our way, and dive between a lioness's legs before crossing the police barricade.
"Hopps, Wilde! Are you two okay?" Delgato, a lion officer, glances worriedly at us as he holds back an enraged cheetah girl.
"Yes, thanks." I dust off my uniform and look at him "What is happening here?"
"These females are after Wilde!" McHorn responds with a groan and the rhino keeps several females in check just by staring at them, using his imposing frame to keep them back.
So they are after Nick. I turn to the fox and cross my arms, "What did you do?"
The dumb fox puts his paw on his chest with mock hurt "Et tu Carrots? It wounds me to know you would suspect me so easily!"
I roll my eyes and stomp my foot on the ground in annoyance, "Out with it Nick." I say sternly. He must have played a prank on them. I'm sure of it!
Nick chuckles, "Relax, I really didn't do anything… this time!" He then looks at the females, "They must have fallen in love with me after seeing me on the news." He smirks smugly and closes his eyes muttering pitifully, "Poor things! Their love is too strong! They can't control themselves anymore."
Yeah! And pigs fly.
"I don't think love is involved in what's happening here, Nick." I look at them and cringe at their fury. It's not as if there would be THIS many females after his bushy tail, "I think we shouldn't get involved with them."
"Nonsense, Carrots!" He grins smugly and wags his tail as he walks closer to police defense line, "I can't leave my fans hanging!"
Sigh! I facepaw and suddenly feel the urge to groan. I thought he would have learned some humility after working as a police officer for awhile… but nope! He's still the same insufferable smug fox I met last year. I giggle a little and shake my head. But that's what I love about him. I just hope he doesn't make the situation worse than it already is.
Who am I trying to fool? Of course he will!
"HELLO LADIES!" Nick exclaims loudly, waving his arms around.
Suddenly the mob stops and each of the females focus their hate filled gazes at Nick.
He then announces grandiosely, "You don't need to fight to get to me! There's enough Nick for everyone! Just make a line over there and I'll generously allow you to give me your phone numbers! And who knows! I might even call one of you lucky ladies tonight." He lifts his aviator shades from his muzzle and winks at the crowd before yipping nervously, dodging an oncoming protest sign that was thrown at him.
Suddenly the small mob starts fighting against the police again. The females trying to push the officers away with renewed fury as they curse angrily at Nick.
I giggle a little and smirk, "Having a little trouble with your fans?"
"Har, har! Very funny Carrots!" He complains as he tries to get some distance from the furious females "They're just overexcited due to meeting me in person! That's all. Bunch of yanderes!"
Yan what?
"HOPPS! WILDE!" We hear Chief Bogo shouting loudly from inside the precinct.
He sounds furious. Even with all the noise the mob is making and him being so far from us we can still hear him clearly.
"GET TO MY OFFICE! NOW!"
No need to ask twice! "C'mon Nick!"
Nick nods and then follows me inside the precinct, but not before blowing a small kiss in the direction of the crowd. The roars of fury are the only confirmation I need to know his provocation was successful.
We enter the precinct and as we walk towards the stairs Clawhauser greets us. I smile and wave, "Hey Clawhauser! We can't talk right now!"
"Now, now… wait a second, Carrots." Nick looks greedily at Clawhauser's box of donuts. The fox rubs his paws together and smirks, "Spots! How are you doing? Have you seen the new Gazelle video clip yet?"
Ben smiles, giggling in glee, and leans over the counter, "But of course, she is the best!"
Sigh! He fell for it hook, line and sinker. Before Nick can lean on the reception desk, I grab the hungry fox by his arm, "Let's go Nick! We don't have time to fool around."
I drag the pouting fox up the stairs and inside the Chief's office. Bogo is sitting behind his desk, his chin resting on his hooves as he stares at us with a furious look on his face.
I clear my throat and smile as innocently as possible, "So Chief, what did you need from us?" I give Nick a stern glare. Nick! I swear when he says that riot is your fault I'll strangle you! We're already on thin ice after your last prank.
"Sit down." Bogo says. He then sighs and rubs his forehead with a tired expression, "You're already aware there are a group of females protesting in front of the precinct. They are demanding Wilde is removed from his position as a police officer, incarcerated and some other quite unpleasant things." He says darkly.
"What! Why?" My nose quivers. That doesn't make sense! Nick is a respected officer. No one would want him arrested. Well, except someone with a grudge against him!
I facepaw and sigh. He has played a prank on them! That's the only explanation! Knowing how far he can take his pranks I should be happy they aren't asking for his head.
Bogo stares at Nick, "They claim they were tricked by him into… He managed to get them to… well…" He coughs awkwardly and averts his gaze with a weird look on his face. It's almost as if he was embarrassed. But I've never seen him embarrassed before, "They are claiming you tricked them into giving you a large sum of money, having physical intercourse with you and that you then disappeared right after… your climax."
GASP! My ears drop and I cover my mouth in shock.
"Two of the females said they were talking and discovered by accident that both had been tricked. They looked for more females like them and began their protest." He then covers his face and groans tiredly.
I'm sure he's embarrassed. The reason for this all is so perverted and immoral.
Nick stares into our disappointed expressions and his jaw drops, "I didn't do anything!" He whines with a kit like expression.
My ears drop and I stare at Nick, with quivering nose, before turning to look at Bogo again, "Chief! Nick couldn't have done something on this scale! He can't even manage to wake up in time for work if I don't call him. There's no way he can manage to juggle dating and exploiting several females and keeping it a secret from us and them at the same time." I smile a little.
And he would never do something so horrible like this behind my back.
"Now, now! Wait a second, Carrots!" Nick exclaims indignantly, "You shouldn't doubt my hustling capabilities." He puts a paw over his chest and announces proudly, "I'm the best hustler in the world remember."
I roll my eyes, "Were you the one who tricked them? Because I'm pretty sure you're not."
"No he wasn't!" Chief responds with a sigh.
Nick's ears lay flat against his head, "I could if I wanted to! Which I don't! I'm one of the good guys now." He smirks, "Though, I still could totally do it if I wanted!"
Both Bogo and I roll our eyes as the fox massages his ego.
The Chief snorts, "The moment the females first arrived here yesterday night, I had Snarlov and Wolford working on this case." He opens his desk drawer and picks up two pictures from inside, handing them to us.
I recognize one of the pictures! It's Nick and I taking a selfie during the Gazelle concert that happened last weekend. We posted it on Muzzlebook! But the other one…
Nick picks up the second picture and we take a good look at it. In it, Nick and a young lioness are chatting happily in a bar. The lioness is wearing a provocative red dress that shows way too much fur. Nick is wearing a black polo t-shirt and dark blue jeans.
Wait a second! I squint my eyes and take a closer look at the picture noting the emerald green eyes, red and cream colored fur, smug smirk.
"This isn't Nick!" I exclaim in horror, "Nick would never be able to dress as well as this even if his life depended on it."
"Just throw me under a bus already!" Nick pouts, crossing his arms, "You don't have to lie now Carrots!"
"Lie?" I roll my eyes and giggle, "Please Nick! You look like you're trying to blind someone when you put on anything other than your uniform."
"Excuse me!" Nick raises an eyebrow, looking extremely offended, "I don't think the hick bunny that seriously thinks wearing a straw hat in the middle of the city is normal can say anything about anyone else's fashion sense!"
My ears heat up in embarrassment. That was just ONE time! I huff and counter, "I don't need to be a fashion expert to know you don't have any idea how to dress properly!" I cross my arms and giggle, "It doesn't help having good looks if you dress like a circus clown!"
Oh damn it! I instantly face paw. I just said he is good looking. That is definitively going straight to his head.
Nick suddenly chuckles with the widest of grins on his muzzle, "Oh Carrots! The problem is not my amazing wardrobe is it!" Nick snickers and glances at me, "All those hotties outside wanting a piece of this fox meat!" He pokes my head, "You're just jealous!"
"WHAT?!" My ears perk up and I glare at him, "I'm not jealous of your mangy tail!" And they literally want a piece of him!
Nick chuckles, "Admit it Fluff! I…"
"ENOUGH!" The Chief shouts loudly shutting us up.
We look at him doing our best to look sorry and he rubs his forehead.
This fox! As if I care about how many females want his sorry tail.
Bogo sighs tiredly, "Both pictures were taken at the same time. So you two must know what that means."
I think for a few moments and then nod, "It has been edited."
"No, it has been retrieved directly from one of the bar's security cameras. It hasn't been tampered with." Bogo responds.
Well, then the other option would be… OH!
"There's a fox impersonating Nick." My words hang heavily in the air, the seriousness of the situation making the silence afterwards even more deafening.
"Get me on the case Chief." Nick says with conviction.
"I can't do it Wilde. This case is too personal for both you and Hopps." Chief crosses his arms, "Thankfully the Mayor is delivering a speech in front of an orphanage today so all the media hounds will be there. But we still need to calm down those females downstairs before vultures like Boi Cha make the situation even worse."
I feel a cold shiver crawling up my back just by hearing him mention the name of that sensationalist reporter. He's the worst!
Bogo sighs, "I'll need you two to stay out of the city for one or two days, so the dust can settle."
Nick furrows his eyebrows and exclaims, "Chief, there's a fox out there dirtying my name. You can't expect me to sit idly by and let him go unpunished after hurting our citizens. I'll never let them down like this."
I smile and feel my chest warming up. When Nick entered the academy I knew he would prove to the world how foxes weren't untrustworthy as some people said. He's a shining example of justice! A fine officer!
I look proudly at Nick and nod, "Yeah Chief! This criminal is abusing females as if they were objects. We have to catch him! He's the enemy of all females."
"It'll count as extra paid leave days." Bogo says.
"When do we leave?" Nick smiles, wagging his tail.
Gasp! "NICK! What about all the noble things you just said?"
Nick smirks, shrugging, "Extra paid leave days, Carrots!" He says with no shame at all.
Lazy fox. I was praising you in my head.
Sigh! "Just so that I know, what would you like us to do Chief?" I know it is protocol to not have officers personally involved in a case taking part in the investigation, but I still think we should be a part of it. Nick's reputation is at stake.
"In order to build better relations with a certain country the Mayor has decided to accept the police application from one of their citizens they sent us." Bogo sighs loudly and rubs his forehead, "She's a police officer there but I managed to convince the Mayor to have her go through the academy to make sure she'll really work here without problems."
That makes sense. We can't have immigrants who don't even know how our laws work going on active duty.
Bogo then shakes his head in annoyance and explains, "She's supposed to arrive at Bunnyburrow this afternoon. Pigma has been tasked with getting her from there to here without causing any trouble, seeing as he has dealt with their kind before, but I think it would be better if you two go along as well."
"We're going to babysit her?" Nick asks incredulously.
Bogo nods, "You're going to stay in Bunnyburrow with her for a few days while you try to teach her whatever you can to make sure she won't cause a PR shit storm the moment she gets here." Bogo then looks at the clock and adds, "If you leave now you'll have enough time to pack your things. I'll send Officer Pigma to pick you two up at your apartments. Dismissed!"
I scratch the back of my head, "I don't think you need three officers fort this, Chief. I understand we have to avoid the media, again, but I don't think we'll be needed to take care of a rookie." It's too menial of a task.
Bogo lets out a soft, dark, chuckle, "Dismissed."
.
.
10:47am
.
.
"Are we there yet?" Nick asks, for the millionth time in the past five seconds.
"NO!" Officer Pigma and I answer out of patience.
I turn back in the passenger's seat and scowl at Nick in the back seat, "Stop this! It stopped being funny two hours ago!"
He grins and lets out a chuckle, "It's still funny to me!"
Dumb fox! I point at him and give him a warning, "Stop it! Or I won't let you have any of my family's blueberries!"
Nick sighs and then whines, "But I'm bored Carrots! This road trip is taking forever."
"I'm sorry Nick!" Pigma, a pig officer with a rather fitting name, says with a heavy sigh, "We couldn't take the trains because you two need to stay inconspicuous until the trouble with those females gets settled."
Nick then groans like a pampered kit.
I roll my eyes and giggle, "C'mon Nick. It's not so bad! Bogo gave us a very good rental car with air conditioning! You were complaining about the unusual heat wave a few days ago remember."
He shrugs and I smile, turning back to the front of the car.
"Maybe we could take a look at the information file about the new recruit we are getting." Pigma suggests.
"That's a good idea!" I smile excitedly.
Pigma chuckles a little and gestures towards the glove compartment, "I was going to do it by myself on the train ride, but the plan changed at the last minute."
I nod and open the glove compartment, getting the file from inside. But before I can open it, Nick quickly tries to snatch it from my paws.
"HEY!" I glare at the sneaky fox and keep the file away from his grasp, "We can read it together Nick."
Once the dumb fox finally calms down I open the file. Nick leans forward in his seat to take a good look.
I then read it aloud, "Name: Red Cute Bushytail…"
Hehe…!
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nick and I explode in laughter.
"Oh God! He must have gone through hell when he was in school" Nick laughs, "The names they must have given him."
I wipe a tear of laughter from my cheeks and then say "It's a 'she', not a 'he', Nick."
"Haha what?"
I giggle a little and then point at the file "The recruit is a female… and she's a vixen!" I exclaim surprised.
"Wait what?" Nick's ears perk up, "Really?" He has a perverted grin on his muzzle as he says, "I think I'm going to have to judge whether her bushy tail is cute or not then!"
I roll my eyes, "Don't be a creep Nick!"
He looks at me and raises his nose high, putting a paw on his chest, "I'll let you know I'm an expert on the matter."
Dumb fox! I smirk, "Give up Nick! I won't let you try anything with this poor girl! She's already going to have to adapt to our customs. She doesn't need you perving on her too."
"Try as you might Carrots!" Nick then leans back in his seat and puts his paws behind his head, "Vixens always come running to me!"
"Ha… haahahahaha!" I nearly choke on laughter and then smile, "You're not going to be the only vulpine in the force now." I giggle and taunt him, "She's going to rob your spotlight!"
"It's not so bad!" Nick then chuckles and grins tauntingly, "And how will you feel not being the cutest officer in the force anymore." He pokes the back of my head.
My ears drop and I retort, "She's not going to be the cutest… wait, I didn't mean..." My nose quivers nervously.
"Cute is her middle name!" He chuckles, "And as long as she doesn't complain when her future partner tries to get some coffee during a long shift, then she will be even cuter, in my opinion!" Nick mocks.
Hmpf! As if! "Then maybe you should stop going for coffee outside of your coffee breaks!"
"Aw! Don't be jelly Carrots!" Nick covers his muzzle as he chuckles, "She's just going to steal your cute thunder! It's not that bad."
I cross my arms and huff, "She's not going to steal my thunder." My worth as an officer is not measured by my cuteness. "And I'm not mad at all! It'll be great to have another fox officer around. Maybe she will be able to show you how to behave for a change."
Nick rolls his eyes, "You're still mad because of the bear right?"
"Maybe…" My nose quivers and I sigh. He had no reason to think I was a little kid! And Nick shouldn't have lied to him saying it was bring your daughter to work day saying I was his adopted kid. And the bear didn't have to laugh and pet my head when I explained to him I was a police officer.
"Use a mask then!" Nick shrugs, "Because no matter what happens, one look at that cute mug of yours and mammals can't help but go 'Awwwwwww'!" He puts his paws on his cheeks and swoons
Dumb fox!
I throw an empty plastic water bottle at him but Nick dodges it, laughing heartily, "Hahahaha!"
"Hey guys!" Pigma exclaims uncomfortably, "Where's she from?"
Oh, "Let me see." I read a little more and answer, "Terra… isn't that the weird country with the big wall and crazy cartoons?"
Nick nods, "A friend of mine moved there. I've never heard from him or anything about him again."
Creepy!
He then adds, "They even have a weird sign there saying 'Behind this wall it is NSFW territory.'" He says spookily.
I look confused at him, "What is NSFW?"
Nick shrugs in response.
Weird!
"Oh whoa… it's really hot in here isn't it?" Pigma comments with a chuckle as he pulls on the collar of his shirt.
"Uumm… no." I point at the car panel, "We have the air conditioner on."
Pigma then fully opens his window and as the gust of wind enters the car he exclaims, "Aaah! Much better!"
The files get scattered all over by the wind and as I try to reach for them I hear Nick asking surprised, "Dude! What are you doing?!"
I turn to the side and… I see Officer Pigma trying to jump out of the window of our moving car!
"SWEET CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" I exclaim nervously as I lean forward and grab the steering wheel to prevent the car from going out of control, "PIGMA! What is wrong with you?!"
Pigma's belly gets stuck in the window and his foot kicks the air randomly as he tries to free himself. I dodge every single one of strikes and then the pig manages to unstick himself.
Nick and I stare wide eyed as the big pig flies in the air and rolls on the ground.
"And here I thought: Pigs can't fly!" Nick jokes.
I groan and unfasten my seatbelt, moving over into the driver's seat. I extend my legs as far as I can and press the brakes with the tip of my toes.
As the car stops, I park on the sidewalk and both of us get out. We see Pigma standing up in the distance and both of us run in his direction.
As Officer Pigma looks at us, he then starts fleeing in desperation in the opposite direction, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS!"
"Carrots, I haven't been a cop for that long yet so correct me if I'm wrong…" Nick says, "Aren't criminals the ones who are supposed to say that?" He grins.
"Not now Nick!" We don't have time for your witty remarks.
Pigma runs but we begin to catch up to him with each passing moment. Then suddenly… he turns left and jumps off the bridge.
GAAAAASP! Please be alright!
We stop at the edge of the bridge and then we see Pigma floating away down the river stream below us.
He raises his hooves in the air, making obscene and very impolite gestures, and laughs maniacally, "SO LONG PIGS!"
Hey! I cup my paws in front of my mouth and shout back at him "THAT'S SPECIST!"
"AND YOU'RE A COP TOO!" Nick shouts, "YOU'RE DOUBLE THE PIG WE ARE!"
I roll my eyes and look at Pigma's form disappearing in the distance, "We have to call Bogo." I turn to Nick and…
"You do it!" Nick says quickly, "You're the senior officer here!" He smirks.
Crap baskets! He only cares about seniority and rank at times like this. I pick up my phone and call the Chief as Nick gives me the thumbs up. Yeah! Really easy for you to do that! You're not the one he will shout at.
As soon as Bogo accepts the call I blurt out quickly, "Pigma jumped off a bridge!"
We sit in silence for a while and then Bogo simply says, "Is that so."
Umm… My nose quivers in confusion, "Yeah… We were talking about the rookie and he suddenly jumped out of the car and ran away."
Bogo then says, "I expected something like this might happen, but I didn't think it would happen so soon."
HE EXPECTED IT?!
He sighs, "I'll take care of finding Pigma. Go to Bunnyburrow and finish your job. Try to stay away for at least one or two more days. And Hopps… take care."
"Alright." I answer and then he ends the call.
"So, how was it?" Nick asks with a smirk.
From the dismal stunned expression on my face, I bet he thinks I got a scolding, "Bogo told me we should keep going to Bunnyburrow and he would take care of Pigma."
Nick raises an eyebrow in surprise "That's it?"
I nod and he remains in silence, his jaw hanging in surprise.
"What was all this about?" I point at the river, "Pigma suddenly started acting crazy."
Nick shrugs "I don't know Carrots. The guy must have been under a lot of pressure." He then wiggles his eyebrows, "I heard pig meat is very salty!" He laughs.
"Argh! Eww Nick!" I stick my tongue out in disgust and cringe, "I already said I don't like dark humor."
"Hehe!" Nick snickers, "C'mon! Let's go back to the car!"
I nod but take one last look at the river. My nose quivers and I sigh. This day is getting way stranger by the minute.
.
.
12:09 pm
.
.
I send another message on my cell phone and giggle.
"Thanks for helping me find my old friends on Muzzlebook, Nick." I look excited at him, "I've reconnected with so many mammals I thought I would never talk to again."
Nick puts his paws on the back of his head and leans back in his seat, "Finding them was piece of cake, Carrots." He yawns and clicks his tongue lazily, "Hunting bunnies is in my blood after all."
I roll my eyes and giggle, "I don't think being a fox has anything to do with being an expert in social media websites." Suddenly my phone buzzes again, indicating a message was received.
Nick glances at me, "You've been texting for awhile now. Got a new best friend?"
"Don't worry, you're not getting replaced, you dumb fox." I smile, "It's a friend of mine I haven't seen since high school."
"Ah, good. How many kittens does she have already?" Nick asks teasingly.
My nose quivers slightly, "Not all bunnies have lots of kids like my Mom and Dad did."
"Yeah, right." He laughs, "And that population sign is just a joke."
It is! There once was a wolf mayor that thought it would be funny to do it and no one has taken it down ever since. But Nick doesn't need to know that. It's too funny to trick him into believing there's an army of bunnies hidden all around.
I huff and say "He doesn't have any kids."
"Oh! A male!" Nick's ears perk up and he suddenly looks interested at me, "Really?"
Oh please! "Yes Nick, I have male friends. We've been chatting and he has mentioned he's back in Bunnyburrow for awhile and he thought we could meet each other."
He leans closer to me and tilts his head, "Are you sure it's not one of your brothers that you forgot existed? You have a ton of those!"
I giggle and smirk, "I'm pretty sure none of my brothers would have hit on me, Nick."
Nick rolls his eyes and chuckles, "Yeah, right! As if someone would hit on you, Carrots."
What?! My nose quivers and I glare at him, "And why not?"
"You're too innocent and adorable!" Nick snickers, "There's no way you have been sullied already!"
My nose quivers, "I've already dated!" It was just three dates… but I did! I didn't get sullied or anything though.
He looks at me up and down and teases, "Okay Carrots! Let's pretend I believe you! Then what… is wittle Cawwots twying to reconnect with her wittle boyfriend?" He asks in the most infuriating and demeaning tone possible.
I grit my teeth a little at the mocking tone of his voice but then I smile. I stare into his half-closed eyes and giggle. Two can play this game Wilde! "No, he wasn't my boyfriend."
"I knew it!" Nick exclaims victoriously. He leans back in his seat and closes his eyes, "You're too innocent."
My smile grows and I rest my chin on my left paw, "He wasn't my boyfriend, but he did ask me out… and we did try going on a few dates." Three times.
"He did!?" Nick's head suddenly snaps to the side as he looks at me with his mouth agape, "You did?"
Is it that hard to believe there were bucks interested in me?
I nod at him.
The dumb fox then clears his throat and comments, "I see. But you didn't date him. He must be really ugly then."
"No!" I giggle and shake my head, "I'm not a shallow doe, Nick. Bell was a sweetheart and the only reason I didn't seriously dated him, or anyone else for that matter, was because I was focused on my training to be a police officer."
"Bell? Hehe, what is with you bunnies and weird names?" He raises an eyebrow and smirks, "He's ugly, right?"
SIGH! "NO!" My nose quivers in annoyance and I offer him my phone, "Here, take a look. His profile picture is his high school photo."
His emerald green eyes shine with curiosity but he feigns disinterest as he picks up my phone and examines the picture, "You're right, Carrots. He's not ugly, he's scary." Nick snickers and then points at the screen, "He looks like a skeleton. It's as if he had never eaten anything in his life." The annoying fox then comments, "Why are you so tiny compared to him?"
"He's a Big Fluff Bunny!" I respond with a huff.
Nick's ears perk up, "Isn't that specist, Carrots?" Nick asks looking questioningly at me.
"Some fox scientist named them that. That is just what we call them." I answer.
He snickers and nods, "Nice one!"
I sigh and roll me eyes. Foxes!
I then glance teasingly at Nick and giggle, "I bet he must be taller than you by now!"
Nick's ears lay flat on his head and he scoffs, "Then he must look like a lamppost."
I scratch the back of my head and nod, "Yeah, he was very scrawny… but he's a good mammal and he is not scary!"
Nick takes a look on Bell's profile, looking for other pictures, but soon discovers Bell only has one on his Muzzlebook account. He then starts reading through my message feed and snickers.
"Give me that!" I grab the phone back from his paws, "Nosy fox."
Nick chuckles and I show him the tongue. Then my phone buzzes again, but this time it isn't a message, it's the alarm I set to make sure we get the new recruit on time.
"Let's go." I exclaim as I excitedly hop out of the car.
Nick follows after me, putting on his aviator sunglasses as he locks the car. The two of us walk to the bus stop where Red is supposed to arrive and stare at the other mammals passing by as we wait.
Nick is wearing a bright yellow shirt with images of pineapples stamped on it and dark green slacks while I'm wearing a pink flannel shirt and light blue jeans. It's nice to wear normal clothes in public like this. It makes it harder for people to recognize us, giving us a rare few moments of peace and quiet.
We wait for almost seven minutes and then a black van parks in front of us, the doors opening. Nick and I stare in shock as a vixen comes out from within, dragging a large bag of luggage behind her.
She has a bright orange coat of fur, and the fur on her belly and under her chin is as white as virgin snow. The tip of her bushy tail is white while her arms, legs and ears are black as the night. The dark sunglasses she's wearing look out of place with her big cheery, almost childish, smile.
She gives us a cute and innocent look and she's as slim and fit as a vixen can be. Her curvy body and big bushy tail are a sight to behold!
My lips curl up into a smile and I sigh in relief. I don't think I need to watch Nick around her! She's pretty! She must have a boyfriend already.
She stops for a moment to wave an enthusiastic goodbye to the van driver before he drives off and then she walks in our direction.
Her bag is of a bright pink that is almost so blinding that it hurts to look at it. However that bag is not the reason Nick and I are staring dumbly at her.
The problem is she is naked. She's completely naked. The fur on her entire body is exposed for all to see. Not a single stitch of clothing can be seen anyway on her. Her bushy tail wags nonstop above her naked rear as she looks around. She's not trying to hide anything!
I then notice some bunnies staring at her from afar and I gulp nervously, "Hey!" I call her. We need to get some clothes on her before something bad happens.
The red fox vixen, Red, then notices Nick and I and her smile widens. She lets go of her luggage and walks in Nick's direction, her hips swaying hypnotically as if she was a feline.
Eeeeeew! What's that smell? It's horrible!
She giggles, "Hey stud!" She says to Nick with a tone of voice that sends chills up my spine.
Before Nick can respond she starts sniffing his chest. My paws instinctively close into fists as the perverted vixen's snout gently touches him.
"Umm…" Nick looks around nervously and chuckles, "I think I need an adult present."
I open my mouth to ask her 'who does she THINK she is'! But then she starts sniffing Nick's lower body.
GASP!
"Uuuumm!" Suddenly she lets out a muffled moan as she buries her nose in the middle of Nick's legs.
I cover my mouth in shock and freeze. What does she think she is doing to him?! Sigh! Exactly what we needed today… a hardcore naturist! And a perverted one at that! As if this day wasn't crazy enough!
Nick's usual smug expression disappears and his jaw drops. His ears lay flat on his head and he looks around nervously, "Okay! I really need an adult!"
"Uuummm…" Red, the perverted vixen, lets out another moan as she rubs her chin on his groin.
BADUMP! My heart nearly bursts out of my chest. I glare at her, my blood boiling inside my veins, my paws gripped into fists ready to strike. THIS BITCH!
"Get away from him!" I bat her muzzle away from Nick's privates and step in between them to protect my partner.
"Hey!" She rubs her muzzle surprised and scowls, "What's the big idea?"
"I should be the one asking that!" I fume angrily and point at the fox she just molested, my dumb fox, "You were harassing him like a pervert!" And I think she IS the source of the stinky smell.
"Harassing?" Red raises an eyebrow in confusion.
Nick sniffs and tucks his tail between his legs, hugging his own chest, "Where is the fox doll and the blankets? I need to point to where she touched me!"
Dumb fox! Take this seriously.
"He isn't marked." She looks at Nick, her eyes probably wandering all over his body, and looks back to me, "Sooo… he's fair game!" She concludes happily. Her accent is kind of weird, as if she was yipping in the middle of some words.
Marked? FAIR GAME! I stare at her with a stern expression and say, "Look, here… he's going to be your superior officer if you pass the academy training! So you should treat him with respect!"
"Oh!" She exclaims surprised, "You two are the officers I'm supposed to meet?"
I nod, still standing between her and Nick.
"Pleased to meet you!" She then smirks, offering her paw for a shake, "I'm Red, please take good care of me Officer!" Her words are silky and sweet and make my skin crawl under my fur.
Nick and I exchange glances and I gulp. I can't leave her with Nick! She's going to attack him! If Bogo had not sent us here, she would be arrested for public nudity and sexual assault already. This must be what he meant when he said she would cause a PR shitstorm.
But since she's not from this country she must have come from one of those reclusive clothes free kind of places. Otherwise she wouldn't be so comfortable walking around like this. Maybe she just doesn't know what she is doing. Maybe... oh carrot stick! Sniff, sniff! This smell is killing me!
"Uuumm… something wrong down there?" Nick asks me and chuckles, awkwardly averting his gaze in embarrassment.
I notice I have been pressing my back against his body for awhile now, while the vixen is happily waiting for us to shake her paw.
"Sorry!" I mutter shyly and walk away from him, shaking her soft paw, "Judy Hopps."
Nick clears his throat and shakes her paw, "Nick Wilde."
Red's smile grows and she mutters, "Wilde..." She then asks sweetly, "Are you Wilde in any way other than your name?"
My nose quivers and I feel strange. It's as if the urge to strangle both of them suddenly started growing within me. Or maybe it's the disgust I'm feeling because of this horrid smell.
Nick raises an eyebrow and then glances at me out of the corner of his eye. The dumb fox then smirks, "I don't want to brag but…" He gives Red a sultry look, "They do call me a savage in bed."
GAAASP! NICK!
Red giggles and leans closer to him.
Her giggle makes me want to shove a carrot in her mouth.
"Maybe I can try to tame the beast inside later." She proposes wickedly.
Okay! That's it! This teasing has gone too far! She's going to have to stop! What does she plan to do by hitting on him?! They barely met! And this is passing the point from a foreigner that doesn't know what she is doing to a total degenerate that needs to be locked up.
My nose quivers a little. I'm going to take care of matters one by one, "Red!" I call her and grab one of her paws, pulling her away from Nick.
Thankfully her shame is well hidden amidst her fur otherwise I would be arresting her right now. But if she hits on Nick one more time then I just might do it.
Nick chuckles and she looks confused at me.
"Why are you naked?" Most male bunnies here would be more than happy to jump at a young doe walking around naked… their hormones would go crazy. I don't know if they would do it to a vixen, but one can never be too safe around here. No one tried anything yet… but I can see the creepers gathering in the distance.
And I can't have this temptress naked and rubbing herself all over my partner.
She giggles, smiling widely, "I'm not naked! I'm covered in fur!"
Her argument is that of a kit!
Her tail wags and I can see Nick behind her, leaning down to get a better view of her rear. I point at him and give him a death glare. The dumb fox raises paws in surrender and he disappears from my view.
I then turn back to the vixen and smile the best I can, fighting back the urge to gag due to her ghastly smell, "Red… you need to put some clothes on."
Her ears lay flat on her head, "But look at my fur! You can't see anything because it's all hidden under it! See?" She then proceeds to part the fur on the middle of her legs, displaying her OH CRACKERS!
I gasp and then hear Nick exclaiming from behind me, "Holy Moly!"
My ears burn in shame and I cover her shame with both my paws.
"Come on Carrots! I was almost getting a good peep there!" Nick complains with a devilish smirk.
"TURN AROUND NOW!" I grit my teeth as I glare at him and grasp my ears in anger.
Red giggles and then covers the extra fluffy part of her chest with both her paws as if she was hiding her breasts. Not that she needs to try to hide them. Her fur is already doing that job for her. Ah, damn it! Now I'm using her flawed logic.
She crosses her legs, covering her vixen parts. Her bushy tail wags and she gives Nick a smile that shouldn't be seen by underage mammals, "If you want to stare then you're going to have to beg and whine!" She then spreads her legs just enough so she can tease him.
"Alright! That's enough playing around!" My foot stomps the ground and I cross my arms.
Nick chuckles before turning his back to us again and Red looks at me with a childish smile. Insufferable foxes!
I then look at Red and sigh. "Yeah, I know you have fur, but that won't cut it here."
"In Terra no one complained about it." She mutters sadly.
I nod and say calmly, my eyes burning due to her stench. I'll need to put perfume on her as soon as she gets some clothes on! "Here, it's the law to wear clothes!"
"Okay, I guess… if it's the law." She shrugs, looking downcast, but then smiles brightly, wagging her tail, "But I'm not going to wear any panties! I don't have any!"
"Just how I like it!" Nick butts in with a big grin on his muzzle, "You could learn from her, Carrots!"
I turn to scowl at him and fume angrily. He can't be serious! "Red, dress yourself up! My partner and I need to have a talk."
I leave the vixen alone, rummaging through her bag.
"Way to be a spoil sport Carrots." Nick shakes his head and sighs.
I then I punch his arm.
"Ouch, Carrots! What was this for?" He whispers with fake hurt. I know I didn't punch him hard enough to hurt him, I never do.
My nose quivers and I grab one of his paws, dragging him a few meters away from the vixen before glaring at him, "You're being a creep! And stop staring at her tail while she changes." I say softly with a furious glare, so as not to be heard.
"Fluff, I can't just NOT look at the gorgeous piece of bushy tail being displayed right in front of me! I would fail as a tod if I did so!" Nick responds with passion.
My nose quivers and I poke his belly, "Stop being a horn dog!"
Nick looks confused at me but suddenly his ears perk up. The fox smirks and whispers tauntingly, "Are you jealous Carrots?"
"WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!" My ears burn in shame and I look shocked at him, "I'm not jealous." I mutter.
Nick leans down, staring at me eye to eye, "Then I dunno what you're mad about Fluff! You've been reconnecting with your old boyfriend so I thought I might as well look for the cutest girl around and hook up as well."
This fox is impossible! I scowl, "What does that have to do with anything?" I stomp my foot on the ground, "And I'm cuter than she is!" I whisper back. Crap baskets! I can't believe I just said that!
"No you're not!" Marshmallow comments happily from the distance.
Curse those ears of hers. How did she hear us? I look at her and my nose quivers in embarrassment. Well at least she put on some clo… you've got to be kidding me!
She walks in our direction and smiles brightly, "So, how do I look?" She does a little spin, giving us a good view of her bushy tail and a small peek of her butt cheeks as she does so.
She's wearing a black t-shirt with "Cop On The Streets! Criminal In The Sheets!" stamped in it in bright white letters… and that's it! She's not wearing anything else.
If she wanted to use the shirt as if it was a dress then she chose one far too small. It stops around her mid thighs. Her bushy tail wags happily and she giggles barely containing her excitement. Sigh! Whenever her tail moves she shows her butt a little. She looks, and I hate to even think about this word, like a courtesan.
And what's with those words stamped on it? They are ridiculous!
"Looking fine!" Nick taps me on my shoulder, "I think she managed to cover herself just enough so she barely can't be arrested anymore. So what do you say Carrots, let's go?"
My ears drop and I look dumbfounded at him, "Are you serious? She might as well be naked- DON'T!" I point warningly at Red as she starts to take her shirt off, "It was just an expression! Do NOT get naked again."
"Ahhh..." She gives me a sorrowful kit face.
That's not going to work! I already built up a resistance to kit looks after Nick overused it!
"I like this shirt." She mutters.
Sigh… I want her to put more clothes on, but I guess this is better than nothing.
I shake my head and… SERIOUSLY! What is with this smell?! I know it is coming from her, but I can't just say it… maybe if I do it in a polite way. "Is anyone here smelling this or it is just me?"
Nick and Red sniff around for awhile and then shake their heads negatively.
How?! It can't be all in my head. Okay, there's no easy way to put this. "Red… you smell weird!"
She gasps, her ears laying flat in shame, and then nervously starts sniffing herself before looking at me confused, "No, I don't! I smell great!"
What?!
I scratch the back of my head awkwardly, "But I smell something weird coming from you!" Weird and stinky… very stinky.
Nick thinks for a while, "Uuummm." He takes a few good sniffs in her direction and snaps his fingers as if he discovered the problem, "She isn't stinking Carrots!"
Gasp! "I never said she was stinking!" I defend myself. She is though.
Nick rolls his eyes and responds, "That's her musk you're smelling. It's a hundred per cent natural fox smell!"
Musk?!
"Then just put on some Musk Mask already!" I pinch my nose as she gets even closer to me.
"No!" She smiles, "I like it this way! I'm not going to use scent blockers just because you want! You guys already made me wear clothes, enough is enough!"
BUT YOU WERE NAKED! You can't go walking around naked! SIGH!
"But you smell! It's getting hard to endure it." OH GOD! IT STINKS!
"I smell like a fox, you don't have to make a big deal out of it." She rolls her eyes at me, "Don't be a baby!"
I take a huge breath, filling my lungs with as much air as I can before trying to argue with her, "Well… Nick is a fox too and he smells great." My ears then burn in shame and drop, "I meant he doesn't stink."
"I use Musk Mask." Nick comments as he stares at us with a grin.
"Why?" Red asks curiously.
I shake my head, "Because other mammals, like me, may not enjoy how you smell!" Maybe If I explain it to her just like you do to a kit she might understand, "Every species has different noses! So what is good to you isn't good to a bunny, and there are lots of bunnies here."
"Ah… but that's bad." She looks at Nick and walks closer to him, her hips and tail swaying, "He would be way hotter if he smelled like the virile young fox he is…" She stops in front of my partner and puts a paw on his chest, "Instead I had to nearly bury my nose in you to make sure you were not sterile… you're not sterile are you?" She asks with a small cringe.
Nick's eyes widen and he nearly chokes, "I'm not sterile!"
She rubs her chin and then raises an eyebrow as if she didn't believe him, "Impotent?"
"NO!" Nick answers embarrassed.
"You smell like it though." She retorts.
This vixen! "Maybe you shouldn't be relying on your nose so much like a savage!" I huff, pushing her away from him before Nick gets any dumb ideas as to how to prove his masculinity, "And I'm his partner!" I huff, "What if his musk made it harder for me to work with him?"
She crosses her arms and smirks, "That is your problem, not mine!"
ARGH! The gall on this one!
"And I don't see why this is a big deal." She takes off her dark shades, staring at me with half closed light blue eyes, "My mouth has been watering ever since I first caught your scent, but you don't hear me complaining about it."
Well that's why… My nose quivers and I freeze. Did she just say I smell tasty? Nah! I must've heard it wrong!
Red's light blue eyes stare attentively at me and she licks her muzzles.
Oh… that's not normal.
"Ladies! Ladies! Let's not fight with empty stomachs!" Nick says calmly, "Let's go have lunch before the catfight!"
"There is not going to be a catfight." I take a deep breath and sigh. I can only deal with one fox at a time.
"Great idea! I'm starving!" Red wags her tail happily but then stops, looking at her bag. The vixen then turns to Nick and smirks, "You know… I'm so tired from the trip! It would really help me if a big strong male could get my luggage for me."
Oh for the love of…
"You don't need help!" I say grumpily.
She glances at me and then giggles, swiftly walking closer to Nick and hugging his torso closer to her body.
GASP! "HEY!" My ears perk up in rage.
Nick's ears perk up and then Red nuzzles his cheek, whispering softly, "You'll only need one paw for the luggage." She then takes Nick's free paw and rests it on her rear.
Nick's smirk grows and he wags his tail. He then glances evilly at me and gives Red's ass a mighty squeeze.
NICK! You perverted bitch!
"GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU FUCKING WITCH!" I'm going to strangle her! I march in her direction and… My eyes widen and my ears drop shamefully.
"Uumm… Carrots?" Nick asks surprised.
Red also stares at me surprised.
I… uumm… I avert my gaze, my nose quivering, "I meant… stop this indecent behavior… right now."
Nick chuckles loudly, "Carrots, you don't need to get jelly just because her hips and her tail are bigger than yours." Nick says slyly, "Ouch!" He rubs his arm. I hit him for real this time.
"Heh!" Red covers her mouth as she giggles, glancing at my tail.
ARGH! I'm NOT jelly! And NO one cares that your tail is bigger! "Shut up Nick! And she's a vixen, it's obvious she's going to be bigger than me!" I turn and leave the two jerks behind as I walk to Gideon's place alone.
Soon the two catch up with me. Nick is just pulling her luggage along while Red is walking around. The vixen walks circles around us, wagging her tail excitedly, sniffing everything as if she was a kit.
"Hey Apple, since I'm busting my tail here dragging your stuff around the least you could do was buy me a pie!" Nick says absent-mindedly, looking expectantly at her.
She giggles, furiously sniffing a lamppost, "Don't worry, it'll be a big one! I love pies!" She then scratches her chin looking confused at the post.
What's so interesting about a lamppost? It's not as if anyone has claimed it or anything.
Red then shrugs before winking at Nick and smiling in a very wrong and immoral manner, "Especially cream pies!" She adds with a devilish smirk.
Nick grins like a pervert and wags his tail.
I furrow my brow, "Nick prefers blueberry pies." I take a deep breath to calm myself and glare at her.
Red then responds tauntingly, "I think he likes cream pies more!"
Ah… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Very funny! No! He likes blueberry ones more… stupid dumb vixen.
Nick keeps walking ahead of us, licking his lips at the thought of Gideon's pies. Red on the other paw raises her ears, staring intensely at me. I glare at the vixen and my nose quivers. What does she want now?
She puts her paws behind her back and walks closer to me, "Hey… so I noticed you're mad at me."
Hmpf! I'm not mad. My ears drop and I avert my gaze slightly. Maybe I'm a little mad… but only because she's being slutty towards my friend.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Red smiling, "Don't worry! I'm not seriously hitting on Nick or anything. This is just for fun!"
I look at her and raise an eyebrow, "Fun?"
She nods, "He's kind of hot so I thought I would play with him a little, but even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to…" She glances at Nick and leans down, putting a paw on the side of her muzzle, whispering softly so Nick doesn't hear her, "He's a closet homosexual."
UUuumm… "What?" No, he isn't!
"I mean, what kind of male would mask his musk? How would he attract a female then?" Red exclaims wide-eyed as she was shocked, "And before, when I was hitting on him, he didn't even try to do anything."
My nose quivers and I glance at Nick before whispering back, "But he groped you!"
"I also don't know why he pretends to be a male! He's a fairy on the inside. I can tell that!" She grins proudly, "My gaydar is really good!"
I scratch my head and glance at my partner, "I don't think he is gay. I've never seen him hitting on any males before."
Except that time he asked 'Finnick for a goodbye kiss for Daddy'. GASP! NO! No! Don't let your mind wander there Judy! Red just has a very active imagination! Don't go along with her crazy ideas.
Red scoffs, "Any real male would have grabbed me by the hips, thrown me on the ground, ripped this shirt off, spread my legs and taken me right there, claiming me as his own as he shot his seed inside of me, putting me in my place as a female, spanking my ass, biting my neck to hold me in place and pulling my tail as he reminded me of where I belonged and who owned me!" She closes her eyes and pants heavily, drooling like a creep.
Sweet cheese and crackers she is crazy! My nose quivers and I stare shocked at her. She looks like a teenager fantasizing about a love story but she just described the most horrible and graphic of rapes.
Her tail wags nonstop, her paws pressed on her cheeks. She bites her lips and giggles, sending chills up my spine.
I avert my gaze and cringe. Okay… I… may need at least one therapy session after this. But… "Are you serious about not hitting on Nick?"
She licks the drool of her muzzle and responds, "Yup, I won't get anything from him. That guy is a total bottom feeder."
Bottom feeder? Whatever! I smile and giggle, "Good! Because you can't hit on your superior officers… or fellow officers... that isn't right."
She laughs and says, "Yeah… that's not how I managed to get permission to come here." She looks around and then opens her mouth, her paws making a rubbing motion in front of her muzzle. She bobs her head back and forth and then licks muzzle, giggling.
My ears drop a little and I scratch my head, "I don't get it."
"I gave my boss a blowjob!" She responds proudly, "Males would do anything I wanted after a good blowjob."
Blowjob? Ah… she was blowing something. It also looked like she was cooking… from the way her paws were moving as if she was mixing ingredients in a cauldron. Maybe that's some cooking technique where she's from!
I raise an eyebrow and glance at Nick. That might come in paw later when he starts disagreeing with me. Knowing Nick's appetite as long as I give him something tasty he will comply with whatever I want, "Can you teach me to do a good blowjob later?"
"Sure!" Her tail wags happily.
"Thanks." I smile. I suddenly feel… lighter. Even her musk is not stinking as much as it was before. She isn't as bad as I thought. I think we might become friends! Maybe I can put some sense into her head! Help her to get a good male, not a serial rapist.
"Hey! How far are you two going to lag behind?" Nick asks, walking way ahead of us, "I'm hungry!" He whines as he waits for us to catch up with him.
"My legs are a little tired from the trip." She smiles sweetly and then puts a paw on top of my head, "And Judy's bunny legs are too soft and feeble to keep up with a strong male like you."
"Hey!" I exclaim and roll my eyes and gently bat her paw away, "I'm not some frail little damsel that needs special treatment… like having her stuff pulled around by a male."
She shrugs, "I'm too cute to do heavy work." Her smirk grows wider, "And my paws are too delicate for me to pass up free labor!"
I can't resist the urge and end up rolling my eyes.
As we approach Gideon's bakery Red comments, "There are so many bunnies here!"
Nick chuckles, "The name Bunnyburrow should have made it obvious, Chestnut!"
Her ears lay flat a little and she nods, "Yes but… I've never seen so many bunnies around like this."
"There aren't many bunnies in Terra?" I ask curiously.
"Nope! Other than the Fluffbutts and… and one guy that died, I don't know of any others." She responds. She then notices some bunnies hopping around and giggles excitedly.
That explains some of it. I'll need to teach her one or two things about bunny culture… FLUFFBUTTS!
"BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nick bursts in laughter and my ears drop in shame.
Red looks curiously at him, "What happened?"
Nick opens his dumb mouth to respond but I point a finger menacingly at him.
"Don't!" I warn and the fox decides to stay silent for a change. Fluffbutts must be the most specist surname I have EVER heard! I don't even want to talk about it.
We arrive at Gideon's place and sit at one of the tables outside his shop. Red then notices a small group of bucks gathering around the pastry shop approaching us.
"What's up with them?" She looks around and her tail wags. She suddenly reaches for her bag and takes a whistle from within.
My eyebrows rise in confusion and I ask, "What's that for?"
"A rape whistle!" She whispers, "This is looking like the beginning of a gangbang if I ever saw one... and I did, up close and personal."
"What's a gangbang?" I ask confused.
Red opens her mouth to respond but then Nick cuts in, quickly saying, "Gang activity, Carrots!" He chuckles awkwardly and gives Red a weird look.
She stares at him for a moment but then nods, giggling.
He probably doesn't want her to talk about her criminal past. I didn't expect her to have been part of a gang though. It's a good thing she left her criminal activities in the past and is now an officer, just like Nick.
I roll my eyes and giggle, "Red. This is not a gang activity, put that whistle down."
Nick looks at me and then pulls the collar of his shirt awkwardly, "They are after the booty!" He chuckles, pointing at me.
Gasp! "Nick!" I shoot him a reprimanding look.
Red nods in comprehension, "I'm sorry! I just like to be safe." She quickly puts away her whistle.
After seeing the vixen is looking at them with an innocent smile on her muzzle, some of the bucks give up and walk away not taking any chances, probably suspecting she is up to something.
A few of the remaining ones on the other paw, finally muster enough courage to takes a few steps closer in our direction.
"Hey… Officer Hopps! It's so good to see you again!" Jimmy, a buck that I'm pretty sure is MARRIED, waves but doesn't even pretend to look me in the eye as he talks, his eyes glued to my tail.
My nose quivers and I scratch my head uncomfortably. This is the WORST part of coming back to the burrows.
Seeing that the first buck is unharmed, the others decide to follow suit.
"Hey Judy! Remember me? We went to high school together…" A buck I've never seen in my entire life says but backs away once Nick growls softly.
I sigh and facepaw as several of the horny bucks try to act friendly with me while making sure to avoid coming too close because of Nick or Red. Some even bolster enough courage to try to act friendly with Nick before taking a few steps back as he bares his sharp teeth.
Weird, Nick almost never does this around mammals. Normally he taunts them. I should be reprimanding him but right now I'll let him do it! The good thing about having a fox sitting by my left and a vixen by my right is that even if the annoying guys get closer they still won't be brave enough to do anything else.
One of them finally approaches me and asks with a quivering nose, "Do you want go to my house?"
EWWWWWWWW! My nose quivers and I cringe, "No!"
The other bucks then glare viciously at him. It started! Nick and I groan.
Red however laughs delighted, "C'mon dude! She's not going home with a wimp! She needs a strong buck!"
WHAT?! I lean closer to her and whisper despondently, "RED?! WHAT THE HELL?!"
She winks, her light blue eyes shining happily, "I'm helping you find a nice mate!"
NO!
The buck opens his mouth in indignation but is then pushed away by another buck.
"Get out Steve! The vixen is right! She's not looking for a weakling like you." The angry brown bunny then smiles at me, "Hey babe! Why don't you ditch these fools and we go take a ride in my car."
EWWWW!
A black furred bunny then grabs his arm, "And you think we are going to let you do that you idiot?"
"Let go of me!" The two of them start pushing each other.
Red nods and then calls, with a silky voice, "Hey guys!" Red's light blue eyes shine mischievously and she smiles wickedly, "There's a way to solve this!" She giggles and licks her lips, like a savage predator preparing to tear a corpse to shreds.
My ears drop and I gulp.
Red smiles and put's her left paw on top of my head, gently caressing my fur, "You know… what she's really looking for is a big strong male to help her blow off some steam if you know what I mean." Her predatory eyes scan the crowd and she licks her lips, "I guess she could choose the strongest of you."
Gasp! "NO! YOU ARE THE ONE LOOKING FOR A MALE LIKE THAT!" I shout, trying to bat away her paw.
The bucks ignore me and watch hypnotized as her left paw ruffles the fur atop my head and then travels down my head and neck, making its way to my belly, "I think you'll need to fight to figure out who's the best!" She says, biting her lips, "Whoever is left standing at the end can take Judy and do… whatever male and female bunnies do!" She finishes with a wink.
GAASP! WHAT IS SHE SAYING?! "I most certainly will not go out with or… or..."
"YAAAAAAH!" A buck shouts furiously as he punches the face of the nearest buck in his sights.
My ears drop and I raise my arms, "WAIT! DON'T…"
"DIE!"
My pleas fall on deaf ears as the bucks start brawling even more furiously than before, promises of love or more accurately lust in their minds.
Oh God! I cover my mouth horrified.
"FOR THE BOOTY!"
Red looks around, as fights erupt everywhere among the crowd, and then smirks. This had been her goal all along.
I cross my arms and whisper furiously, "See what you did!"
She nods and watches the fight.
Some does take notice of the commotion and walk closer. They look shocked at the bucks, but as soon as they notice me they huff annoyed, and start throwing venomous comments my way.
"Humpf! Judy Hopps! Showing off as usual."
"I don't even know what they see in her! She dresses like a guy!"
"The only redeeming quality she has is her purple eyes!"
"Such a waste, on an ugly doe."
"Her fur pattern is sooooo boring!"
AAAAAARRRRRRRRGHH! I grasp my ears and bury my face on the table. This is high school ALLOVER again.
Suddenly Red pokes my shoulder and I glance at her.
"Hehe!" Red giggles evilly and grins toothily, giving me both her thumbs up, "You're welcome."
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" My eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets and I gesture at the mess she created, "WHY?! JUST TELL ME… WHY DID YOU DO THIS?"
Her jaw drops and her ears lay flat on her head, "I…" Red averts her gaze and whines softly, "I just wanted to help you find a nice boyfriend."
I rub my forehead and feel a headache coming on, "But this is not how I want to choose a mate Red."
She looks confused at me.
Sigh… I shake my head and plead, "Nick, say something." I look at him and my nose quivers.
Nick chuckles recording the whole thing on his phone, "My Zootube career starts now!"
"DAMN IT NICK! Take this seriously! We are officers of the law." I glare at the vixen that started all of this and do my best not to strangle her, "Red! You have to fix this."
She wants to help. Her intentions may be good, but who would think this is a good idea?!
"But I already did!" She whines, her tail wagging shyly, "The winner will be tired and weak so I'll just whack him on the head and take him out." She giggles, "Easy peasy lemon squeezy!"
I feel a sudden pain in the back of my head. Probably an aneurism caused by the SHEER STUPIDITY of what I've just heard! I shake my head trying to ignore it and then say, "Look around you idiot! We need to stop this before someone gets seriously hurt!"
Red glances at me and then looks at the bucks, watching the carnage unfold.
The surrounding females gasp at the ferocity of the battle and send angry glares at us while the male bucks nearly kill each other. I can see bloody tufts of fluffy fur and broken teeth flying everywhere.
Red stands up on her chair and whistles loudly, getting everyone's attention. The poor bucks slowly stop fighting and then turn to look at her, confused.
"Guys, guys!" Her tail wags and she smiles cutely, "Judy isn't going out with any of you." She puts her paw on her chest and announces giggling, "I was just joking."
The bucks stare dumbfounded at her.
One of them complains indignantly, "WHAT?! But you just told us she would!"
"Don't pin that on me! I didn't think you would take it seriously." Red rolls her eyes, "It's not my fault you are violent morons! I mean, in this day and age WHO still fights for a female? That's barbaric!"
My jaw drops and I watch the shameless vixen putting all the blame on the bucks. SHE IS A WITCH! HYPOCRITE! You were just saying the EXACT opposite not even five minutes ago.
"Bu-but…" The buck stutters and then Red sighs annoyed.
"Look! All of this bunny blood and sweat is only making me hungrier so either get the fuck out of here or GET IN MAH BELLY!" She snarls, drumming her stomach with both her paws.
Nick gasps and I stumble, nearly falling off from my chair. Please tell me I didn't hear that right!
The bucks take one look at her and nearly jump in fright. They start rising from the ground one by one as fast as they can, holding their injured bodies as they flee. One of them is brave or stupid enough to run up to me and leaves a small note with his phone number in it on top of the table before fleeing.
Soon enough, the tide of bunnies disappears in the distance.
"Problem solved! The Fat Bastard intimidation technique always works!" Red then sits again and crosses her arms, smirking proudly, "Like I said, easy peasy lemon squeezy!" Her tail wags and she looks at me as if she was a kit expecting praise.
This dumb vixen!
I should've jumped off that bridge with Pigma.