Hey People! This is not really going to be a story, but rather a letter that Mana wrote out to Atem about him leaving her. It will be a little emotional, but I just wanted to give it a chance as I got this idea when I was shoveling snow outside (I know I'm weird). So please, enjoy! Also, in this fanfic, Mahad is still alive, not dead like how he was in the anime.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or its characters. This fanfiction is definitely NOT for profit.
My Atem, Dear Atem, this is Mana, your best friend and even lover whom you abandoned for the future instead. I just wanted to write this letter to you although you'll never read it, or even know of it, but it will still exist. Please though, somehow, maybe the gods will whisper every single word that I kept for you, both in my heart and on this little papyrus scroll to you. Here it is:
My Dear Atemu,
When we were kids, everyday we used to playfully tease each other, do mischief, and have a lot of fun. There was never a day without being scolded by the Court or laughing and playing in the Nile. Those were the days where Ra would always shine down on us, making sorrow seem like a pretense, a fake thought.
However, the day you left me, the day you deserted me without uttering a goodbye, you shattered the very foundation of my being: my soul. I screamed and fought with all the demons and monsters that would terrorize my sleep, giving me nightmares instead of dreams. In the mornings, I would wait for you, still hoping by chance that you would change your mind and return to my life. I lay by your chamber's door, thinking that today we would tease Mahad or steal food from the kitchen again. But I knew you weren't in your chamber; that you didn't even exist in this world to begin with. I cursed Fate and demand Him to bring you back, beating the rocks by the Niles with my fists, crying and cursing you for leaving me. Isis would find me and clean the blood from the rocks and try to get Karim to stop my persistent blows but he couldn't. I kept pounding the rocks, my aura and fury becoming darker every time.
I've loved you even in our childhood but you didn't realize back then because you were too naïve. I hid in vases and tried to surprise you but you never noticed. When we were teenagers I even tried to make my kohl darker but you were still too oblivious to my actions. All my life I've tried to bring you closer to me, but you only went farther from me, making an imaginary gap between us, widening as time progressed. When you became pharaoh, you stopped playing with me completely, saying your duty to your country is more important than any kind of relationship. In reality, I knew I would never be with you but in my dreams, you would be mine for an eternity. I remember in one dream, you confessed your love to me and told me that you would never leave my side; never leave me in any kind of pain or hardship. But Atem let me tell you one thing; all those people who say that you can make your dreams a reality; they are all liars, for reality and fantasy can never be the same thing! Dreams are only a useless hope that dwells in humans, raising their expectations then the moment they wake up, they are gone in just the raising of an eyelid.
I would rather die a thousand agonizing deaths than bear this pain, this pain of loneliness and betrayal. People say that all is fair in love but that's not true at all, because our love was one-sided and in the end you still left me to be with the sands of time in the Hourglass. I've already tried to forget you but every step or turn I take on the path of life, I always see a ghost image of you with your arms crossed, your royal blue cape dancing with the wind, your tan skin glistening with sweat from Ra, and your mesmerizing smirk that always lingers in my mind. Every single time, I tried to run to your arms and hug you and never let you go but you would always fade away, saying the three words I always longed to hear: "I love you." Thanks to you, I don't recognize myself anymore. I'm not the same Mana who would always do stupid things and laugh all the time. That Mana is DEAD and will never be alive again.
Now, I live out my days without smiling or even saying the words "love" or "happiness." I only respond when someone asks me a question or needs help with something. I've also separated myself with everybody that I once knew: Mahad, Isis, Karim, Shimon, Seto, and everybody else in the Royal Court. They stopped talking to me after I forgot the meaning of existence and life. I don't even remember the last time I smiled except before you left. I destroyed my staff and gave up trying to be a magician because my only intent was to serve you but I can't so there is no reason to practice magic anymore.
The truth is, I'm a very selfish person. I only think of you and have neglected all the other people around me who used to love me before. I only remain in the past and never think about the future nor acknowledge the present. But one day, when I am released from the jail cell of the past, I will find my happiness, roam the deserts, and leave all the loneliness and pain behind on my footsteps and let the winds blow away their traces. But I will still love you and will meet you in the Afterlife forever. Only then will Fate let us be together again forever and will I confess my love to you.
Your Lover,
Mana
