I need to survive, at least tonight.
I woke up in a strange place again, yet, it still feels like I am home. I wonder if it's because you're right here beside me? Ah, yes of course, that's the only reason. Since you are my only home, Jean.
You know what dear? I'll never get tired seeing you like this... Comfortably sleeping under the blanket you share with me, cuddling me like a pillow in the middle of the night, dreamily murmuring my name in your sleep. I will do anything just to witness you slowly open your eyes when the morning light comes, and struggle to fix your voice to greet me a sweet good morning. I'll bet everything just to make fun at the same time make a mess of your funny bed head, and sniff your manly sexy scent. That's just the every morning you make with me, and a whole day with you is already more than a blessing. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Jean, I've come to realize, you are the every little bit of my life, that I wouldn't mind even if I lose my own.
...As long as you live, dear.
"Jean...wake up." Honestly, I really don't want to wake you up yet, I really just want to molest you recklessly while you're still asleep, but no can do. There's still things we have to do.
We're running out of time.
"Good morning Marco." He scratched his eyes as he sat up then stretched his arms wide then closed it as he wrapped me around him. I reached for his cheek to kiss it.
"So...coffee?" I asked as he returned the kiss to my lips instead.
"Hmmm... I'll have some..." He then pushed me flat on my back in the bed and towered his arms between me and bowed a little lower on the left side of my head "I want a cup of Marco Bolt first please."
So what can I do? ...but to humbly accept your request then.
...
...
"Hey Marco...so where are we heading today?" We just finished showering -together, and now finally taking a coffee. I know, we- or basically I, have things better to accomplish, but for him, rush can wait. For him, I don't mind even if I need to stop time.
"Let's head to that mountain."
"Ah, the unfinished mountain."
"Yeah, to the legendary one..."
"Heh, they say the mountain blesses every faithful couples there, you're being romantic Marco..."
"Why, you don't want?"
"Hmmm...not really, in fact, I'm being more in love to you, sweety." and then he winked like a stupid maniac.
"Don't say such embarrassing thing so early in the morning pervert!"
"Look who's talking, making such cute noises earlier in bed, and then in the bathroom it echoed like heave- ouch." I threw the notebook with my today's plan to him. Damn it Jean, you're a shameless bastard.
"Don't ridicule me! Bastard! Or I wont let you have me again. Hmp."
"Hey now, I'm not ridiculing my precious Marco, you know? What I was saying is that, you really are enchanting...is all." Saying such things and then get embarrassed enough to turn you red. You are certainly idiot Jean.
That's why I love you so much.
"You're saying something, Marco?" Oh did I say that out loud?
"What? You heard anything?"
"Hm...somehow, something like how you love me so much." Jean, you stingy.
"Ah that, yes of course."
Really, just how much time we'd spend cuddling during mornings? This always happen, well, it's not like it's a bad thing. In fact, this is a very beautiful thing.
I hope things lasts.
Mountain Shiganshin. A famous mountain cut half horizontally, well not exactly like that, but it was like a construction that was never been done or completed, that is why it was named Unfinished mountain. Legend says that two warriors who loved each other dearly fought and reign numerous battles and wars, and even though they had been engaged on some futile situation, they managed not to die. It seems that they were each others strength, that they were each others life...they lived to protect each other - metaphorically, to protect their own lives. They were inseparable, they were like darkness and the moon, like a wedding vow, like two become one... They always come together as one, as if they were half of each others heart... or something like that. However, odds don't come in anyone's favor... They were two people in one life alone, they were already each others reflection, so it was concluded that when death would come to one, the other one would obviously follow and join. Time passed on its own accord, the legend says that they encountered monsters that would finally put them at end. The fight was tragic on its own, so it seems, it was a one-sided battle and the only thing they could do was survive, and when they thought everything was already fine...the other one had been severely injured, and nothing can be done to cure it, no, not the bandages, medicine, nor even magic...So he lay his lover on his arms and he muttered that it still felt like a bed of roses in his arms and yes it was, since the color of roses was then pictures the color of his own blood. He cried - no, he raged right before his lover's sight as the light on him slowly fading away, and knowing that he would want to die also instead... His dying wish was... for him to live.
He then, lived. Half empty. The big fraction of his life was gone, and he remained there waiting...of sunrises and sunsets, of rains and shines, fulfilling the wish of his lover to continue on living... and he waited 'til his time came, and he could finally be one with him, perfectly complete...once again.
I planned this from the start, to have an escapade with Jean...well, more like 'sexcapade' instead. I wrote down the places I want to go and a camp at Mt. Shiganshin's on the last list.
Well, at least, this went perfectly on the schedule.
...yeah, and so the time has come.
Thank God, the weather's perfectly fine. We set up the tent, we came here rather late than I planned. We were supposed to be here by noon, but it turned out, we came late afternoon. It was all because of Jean's long hour of flirting me. Oh, well, nothing can be done by that now.
Jean is currently making fire out of the woods we collected on the way, while I am busy unpacking our few belongings - the very important blanket and such.
The place is perfect, though this isn't the highest mountain, it gives the feel like we're on top of the world, or maybe it's just like that because I'm with Jean...oh well, any-where's fine as long as I'm with him.
However, I know this place is the most suitable one.
"Hey Marco, what are we gonna do here?"
"Hmm. Who knows, maybe watch the sunset, do dirty then watch the sunrise tomorrow..."
"I'll be very glad to comply to that then."
I walked towards and sat beside him, gluing my side on his.
"Hey Jean, how 'bout we don't get any sleep tonight?" Jean's eyes instantly awaken a beast inside him.
"So, should we start now?" How fast. Jean's hands' were on my waist in an instant.
"Easy there Jean. How 'bout we eat first and then after the sunset?"
"Man~ You're so cruel Marco. I want to eat you first." He pout as if it would make him cute, this bastard.
"Idiot, you had me in your breakfast earlier, give me a break will you?...and don't give me that face, it makes me doubt why I am loving you!" ...there I joked, I know best that I accept him unconditionally.
"Heh?! Doesn't this face arouse you?" on his pout he matched his closed eyes, dammit Jean, you looked stupid.
"Oh dear, just stop that." I smashed my hand on his face or else I wouldn't stop myself from shoving my lips to him anymore. That should happen later on.
"But you know what Marco? You're fucking hot that every little thing you do, arouses me... really" he held the hand I shoved to him and kissed each fingers...the palm and the back... "even your freckles are hot too." Then he stabbed a melting gazed to my eyes, and I could feel my cheeks burning more than the fire he set up.
Jean... How could I-
"You're just a pervert is all."
This is so warm.
Can't I just be here forever?
After we had our meal, we arranged our self inside the tent, hugging and cuddling each other under the warm blanket, the tent was open so that we could see the sunset.
"Marco, this is the last on your list right?"
"Yeah."
"Hm, so what will happen after this?"
I wonder.
"Who knows?"
Jean... I honestly want to cry right now, but if I do, you'll ask me why. Well of course you'll ask.
Jean... Please let me stay here in your arms, please let me memorize your scent... your warm, your eyes... please let me consume all the love you have for me 'til you dry and feel no more of me.
Jean, please live alive.
"What?"
"Huh?"
"You have the habit of saying your thought out loud, yanno?" Oh that, I noticed. Maybe because I was always lost on thoughts.
"Nothing, I said the sunset's beautiful."
"That is true..." He brushed his hand in my hair gently, like I'm a cat he's petting. "But you know what, Marco?"
"What?"
"You're the most beautiful thing I've seen, and I am sure, I'll never see anything or anyone ...as paradise as you anymore. No one exist to match you, you know?"
How am I supposed to leave, if you're being like this Jean?
"You know what Jean? You're being poetic again."
How can I let you go?
"Don't you find it sweet?"
"Well, it gives me chills... a good one..."
"Haha~ oh, there you go, the sunset's done...can I have my desert now?"
"As you please, dear..."
"Itadakimasu~"
...
...
...
"So sexy, are you ready?" He whispered with a breathe that made me shiver all the way.
"...and if I'm not?" I wrapped my arms around his neck and dragged him down on top of me.
"Then I'll make you ready that you'll beg for it." He bit my ear and that...emitted a sound from me, then he trailed his tongue in between my shoulder and neck as his hand slowly invading inside my chest, especially on the right side of it...
The lower part of me arched to him and my legs involuntarily wrapped him in between, making him grind me there in reflex.
I put my arms on his chest to lift him up on my face, so he could stop putting numerous marks on that part of me, and then I invited his mouth to come on me. That, didn't stopped his hands from working and seconds later...we were both unarmored. There he attacked my innocent chest, one side with his lips, thoroughly biting or licking or sucking it... and one with his hand either pinching or rubbing it. While his free hand, busy preparing me for an all out battle.
I, on the other hand, in exchange for the service he's giving, was sincerely praising his performance by making unwordly sound that yes, it feels great.
But Jean, I would very much like to lead the play tonight. Let me show you the most spectacle entertainment made only for you.
Coz this would be the last.
I managed to push him down and climbed above him, he was more likely shocked, of course this was the first time I'd do this.
"You're fantasizing this, right?" There, something went very much alive that it almost burst.
"Fuck it... Marco... Ugh..." Oh, he looked so helpless.
"You're being cute Jean." I laid above him when I said this and I could feel him tremble. "...didn't I say, let's stay all up tonight?" I whispered this looking at his lips and then aimed for it.
"Can you make it?" I bit his lower lip then he squeezed the cheeks of my behind.
"By all means."
...
...
"That was so fantastic." Jean wrapped me tight again in his arms.
"Thank you." I kissed his cheek for that compliment and then I found him blushing.
"Jean, lately you've been blushing more than me. Aren't I suppose to be the shy one here?" I just can't stop myself smiling when I can tease him like this.
"Oh shut up Marco, you know it's because of you." He held my hand and kissed it. I felt the warm of him, the warm that never been cold to me. "Let's do it again when we get home."
I would very much like to, but...
"Ho there, don't get cocky... And my body can't contain that." by that respond, his embrace to me went tighter yet so very gentle, as if I'm a fragile delicate thing he would never let go...
Yet Jean dear, I'm already breaking.
"Marco, aren't you a little cold? You looked so pale. Are you okay?" Am I? So I can't hide it anymore?
"Well, that's because I gave all of my best last night, yanno?" I caressed his lips, his very sweet lips and then I softly pinched his cheek.
"Marco, thank you so much. Not just last night... But for everything." You're saying this now like it's a perfect scenery. Really Jean?
"You know I'll do any shits for you Jean."
I looked outside where everything starts rising. I looked outside as the sun is slowly starting to come up. I looked outside because, no, I can't fathom to look at you when I am about to go.
"Jean, I love you so much." He didn't say anything in response instead he laid his head on my shoulder.
The silence reigned as the entrancing sun rose, like a new life there began.
"Marco, let's get married."
One last look...
"Let me sleep Jean."
And then I closed my eyes.
"I love you too, Marco."
Marco's always a weak one, I know for years we're together now that he had a weak stamina, and so I lived to take care of him... It goes without saying.
But I never thought it would be this hell,
That he had some fucking chronic heart disease and so it decided his life span.
Damnation.
So it finally made sense.
Of why he invited me on a travel out of the blue, of why he had that list - it was a fucking bucket list first time I've heard he had, of why I saw fucking sadness in his eyes amidst his happy smile.
Fuck it. You're going to leave me. That's why.
Now, he had done it.
You're gone.
It really made sense, to think that our last destination would be that mountain.
That would really be perfect place to leave me Marco. So I'll be left empty like the man on the legend then?
Yes, I will be, of course I will be. Don't you know you are the half of me?
And even without that fucking legend, you'll always be the fucking large piece of me Marco.
Marco, without you I am a whole emptiness.
So tell me, how am I supposed to fill this last wish on your bucket list?
'For Jean to live a new life without me.'
Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to have a new life if you are the fucking only one I have?
So tell me, how am I supposed to live when you already left me...
...half alive.
-END-