A/N - So, I'm continuing my quest to fix the swampy mess that is the Chuck/Sarah relationship on the show. "Parting Gifts" was a darker, angstier take, but I've aimed for a lighter tone here. There's still some angst – given my starting point, how could I avoid it? – but I promise I'll get you to a good place.
This follows directly after Wepdiggy's awesome story "Morgan vs The Apology". If you haven't read that, go do it right now. It's well worth your time. Oh, and leave a review – they make Wep squeal like a little schoolgirl. Don't worry; I'll wait. Shoo!
***CJ taps his foot, humming a happy little tune to himself***
Welcome back! All finished? Good! Then read away. And be sure to let me know what you think. Reviews make me squeal like a little schoolgirl, too!
For reference, assume that this story takes place over the month or so following 309. Obviously, it is strictly AU.
All the usual disclaimers about me not owning anything apply.
A/N #2 – Replaced section breaks and cleaned up a few rather hideous grammar mistakes. CJ 3/9/11
IOU
Chuck Bartowski decided that there were few things harder than being in love with someone who didn't love you back anymore.
He had some experience with the sensation at Stanford, after Jill had seemingly dumped him for Bryce. But as bad as that had hurt, it didn't compare to losing Sarah - correction, Sam - to Daniel Shaw. When he lost Jill, he'd also lost one of his best friends and his dream school at the same time. Those losses had conspired to make him feel like he had nothing left, so he crumbled and wallowed in self-pity. But the clarity he had gained over time had shown him that his misery wasn't so much about Jill, but about feeling worthless in general. Jill was only partly to blame.
Chuck knew that the story with Sarah was very different. Jill tore him down, but Sarah built him back up, changed him for the better. She believed in him, which made him believe in himself again. She even called him a hero, and that was mostly why he uploaded Intersect 2.0. He did it for her, to be the man he thought she wanted.
He'd thought wrong. And that made Chuck Bartowski realize something else.
Irony sucked.
So he found himself miserable once again. With Morgan's help, he realized that he was still in love with Sarah. But she had someone else now, and he didn't feel that he had the right to suddenly jump back into her life in any romantic way. Besides, fair was fair. Sarah had not only stepped out of the way for Hannah, she'd even helped cook dinner for her. It wasn't Sarah's fault that Hannah had been Chuck's worst idea since Jill. Or Lou. Or Jill again. (Man, it was a wonder that Sarah hadn't started shooting all non-Ellie brunettes on sight.) So now, as badly as it hurt, he would do the same for her. He would step aside, and let her see what developed with Shaw. Morgan kept telling him not to worry, that Sarah would figure out what she wanted and everything would be great. Chuck could only hope that his little buddy was right.
x x x x x x x x x x
The even greater irony was that since Morgan helped him realize that he still loved Sarah, he'd become hyper-aware of her presence. He noticed every little thing about her now; the graceful way she moved, the smell of her perfume, the way her tank top and jeans clung to her amazing figure. Even a gesture as simple as running her hands through her hair captivated him. He was pretty sure that if he'd been even half as attentive before, he never would have even noticed Hannah, and Sarah might not have run to Shaw.
He was thankful that they were discreet. They never rubbed his nose in their budding relationship. There were no pet names, no overt displays of affection. They kept things strictly professional when he was around, and he was grateful that she still cared enough to grant him that small mercy. Seeing her kiss Shaw had been awful, and hearing her tell him her real name had felt like a shot to the gut; he didn't know how much more he could have taken without serious risk of a fatal stroke. So despite their modesty, he decided that it would be better if he just made himself as scarce as possible. He hated not seeing her as much, but it was the only way to stay sane.
If he'd been around more, he might have noticed that Shaw had on a few occasions reached for Sarah's hand, and that she'd subtly rebuffed him each time. He might also have noticed that lately, Shaw had stopped trying.
x x x x x x x x x x
As the days passed, Chuck discovered that avoiding Sarah was much easier said than done. Before their "breakup", Chuck had never paid attention to how much of his daily routine was built around her. They often drove to work together, and he took his lunch break at the same time each day in order to spend it with her at the Orange Orange. After work there was usually a mission or a briefing or a cover date or, best of all, just hanging out for the hell of it. The cover had been over for a while, but only now that he saw her with someone else did he realize just how much his days had revolved around Sarah Walker.
He thought that his apartment would be his refuge. The "cover" was dead so she had no reason to visit, and she stopped coming by in the mornings to ride to work with him. But when he was home alone, the apartment seemed haunted by the ghost of Sarah. He heard echoes of her everywhere – a dinner with Ellie and Awesome, a night spent in his room "for the cover", a remembered conversation by the fountain. Even when Morgan wasn't home, he was never alone.
x x x x x x x x x x
But as hard as it was to live with Sarah's ghost, being around the real thing was infinitely harder, and that made spending time at Castle quite the ordeal. There was always some reason he had to be there – meetings, briefings, training, intel review – and since the Orange Orange had about four customers on a busy day, Sarah was almost always there with him.
Chuck asked Casey to take over his combat training. The Colonel smirked and muttered something about "lady feelings", but he agreed. Chuck would have hugged him for that, but he had no interest in finding out what the Intersect knew about treating bullet wounds or reattaching man-parts.
As for the rest, the tight quarters in Castle made avoiding Sarah difficult, but he did what he could. He never sat next to her at briefings and meetings, keeping his nose buried in his own work. He had no interest in watching her shoot furtive little glances at her new boyfriend. And on the few occasions when Shaw wasn't around, he avoided going near her workstation at all costs.
But since he never looked up, he didn't notice that all of Sarah's furtive glances were directed not at Shaw, but at him. And because he avoided her workstation like the plague, he didn't notice that the Nerd Herd desk video feed always ran in a small window on her monitor.
x x x x x x x x x x
Missions were the toughest. He was the Intersect and therefore an essential part of almost any plan, so he had no choice but to bury his feelings for the duration and get the job done. But on one mission, he caught a break.
Shaw and Sarah had to attend a formal consulate dinner to meet a contact with information on the Ring. It was to be a simple exchange at a very secure location, and Shaw had decreed that the Intersect wasn't required. Chuck had been working hard, Shaw said, so he could have the night off.
Always a bit insecure about his place on the team, Chuck normally resented being left out. A consulate dinner, however, meant that Sarah would be wearing a killer dress, looking absolutely stunning. And while part of him wanted very much to see Sarah in that dress, he knew that she'd be hanging on Shaw's arm the whole time she wore it, and there was no part of him that had any interest in seeing that. So he simply nodded at Shaw and kept quiet.
Instead, it was Sarah who objected. She said that even the simplest missions could go wrong, and that leaving Chuck behind was an unnecessary risk. But Shaw stood firm. He said that Chuck had been putting in a lot of hours at both jobs, and he didn't want the stress and exhaustion of overwork to cause the Intersect to malfunction again.
Defeated, Sarah fell silent. She glanced briefly at Chuck, and he thought that she looked troubled. Suddenly, she stood and announced that she was heading to her apartment to get ready for the mission, and Chuck thought that it was more than a little odd that she didn't so much as look at Shaw as she left.
He didn't dwell on it. Sensing his opportunity, Chuck set a personal best by blowing through the daily intel packet in slightly under an hour, and he bolted up and out of Castle before Sarah got back. He really didn't want to see her with Shaw in that dress.
So he didn't know that the one she'd chosen was his favorite, a blue dress that he said made her eyes sparkle. And he didn't see her face fall when Casey told her that he was gone.
x x x x x x x x x x
Shaw hadn't been wrong when he'd said that the Intersect had been working hard at both jobs. Morgan made the Buy More schedule now and, figuring that Sarah had no pretense for coming to the store anymore, Chuck asked the new Ass Man to give him as many hours as possible. And boy, had his little buddy come through. Big Mike briefly complained about the overtime, but Morgan won the shortest argument in history by pointing out that paying Chuck some overtime was infinitely preferable to paying Jeff and Lester at all. Rightly figuring that Chuck's presence meant less work for him, Big Mike said no more about the overtime, and Chuck got more shifts like today's open to close.
The cure, however, was barely better than the disease. More hours behind the Nerd Herd desk meant dealing with more impatient customers and, even worse, with his co-workers. The fact that he was getting along with Morgan again helped immensely, but even so, the days were interminably long. The lunch hour he used to spend with Sarah had always been his refuge, the one thing that kept him sane. But that golden hour was nothing but a cherished memory, and so to alleviate the boredom he had turned his lunch hour into a very dangerous game.
It was called Escape from Casey.
The object was simple – get out of the Buy More for lunch without Casey knowing. Chuck had memorized both the store blueprints and the locations of all the security cameras, feeding them into the Intersect. Then just before lunch, he'd take off his GPS watch and lose himself in the store, using customers and fixtures for cover. The Intersect would suggest routes and tactics, and more often than not, he was successful. Casey would pull him into the cage and read him the riot act once lunch was over, but that was almost as fun as winning, because Chuck swore that the big guy held a grudging admiration for his growing spy craft.
Today had been another victory, the game ending with Chuck emerging from an air vent near the loading dock. Casey was none the wiser, and Chuck's path to the Large Mart salad bar was clear.
But since he was on the wrong side of the store, he didn't see Sarah walking across the parking lot towards the Buy More, a cup of fro-yo in her hand and a nervous but determined look on her face.
x x x x x x x x x x
His long shift finally over, Chuck locked the front door of the Buy More. A tired sigh escaped his lips. He was supposed to go to Castle and review yet another intel packet, but Morgan, sensing that his friend desperately needed a night off, had convinced him to play hooky. His best friend had left the store a few hours ago with a promise to have both the PS3 and a large supreme pizza waiting when Chuck got home. He'd decided to risk the wrath of Shaw and take Morgan up on his offer. It had been a long eleven hours in BuyMoria, and he just couldn't summon the will to sit in the same room with Shaw for another few hours, especially if Sarah would be sitting next to him. But when he turned towards his Herder, he discovered that Sarah wasn't at Castle tonight, either. Her sleek black Porsche was parked right next to Chuck's little red and white Toyota, and she leaned against the door, an uncertain look on her face.
"Hi, Chuck."
Her presence had always affected him, but tonight he was completely unprepared for her. Nonplussed, he started rambling.
"Sarah! You're here! Is everything okay? Is there a mission? I know I was supposed to be at Castle, but it's been a really long day and I thought that I could look at the intel packet tomorrow and Morgan's ordered pizza and..." He paused only long enough to breathe. "Oh, and hi."
Sarah grinned. "No, Chuck, nothing's wrong." She looked down, ran her hand through her hair. When she looked back up, Chuck could see that her grin had faded. "I came to see you this afternoon."
"Ah, yeah. Yeah, the guys told me. Jeff said that I must have, uh, "powerful juju" if my ex-girlfriend still brings me yogurt. Which, by the way, he ate." Chuck shuffled his feet. "Was there something you wanted?"
"I wanted to talk to you, Chuck. You've been avoiding me, haven't you?"
His face flushed. He looked away, embarrassed.
"That's what I thought." She moved closer. He couldn't help but look at her, and her blue eyes searched his. "Why, Chuck?"
"I was trying to give you your chance."
"What chance? What are you talking about?"
"With Shaw. It's like he said, you know? I had my chance, and I blew it. And you let me try with Hannah, even though I should've known better. So I was trying to do the right thing, and let you see what happened with Shaw." He looked away again, his voice growing small. "No matter how much I hated it."
Sarah just shook her head. "Always at cross purposes, aren't we?" She moved even closer, and Chuck swore that he could smell her strawberry shampoo.
"Shaw and I haven't been a couple in a while, Chuck. To be honest, I don't know how much of a couple we ever were. I just...I felt like I was losing you, like you were losing yourself. I was hurt, and instead of talking to you...well, Shaw was there." She paused, blew out a breath. "I know I should have said something sooner, when you broke up with Hannah. But I'm not good at this. And after everything that's happened, I was..."
"Afraid that I'd do something monumentally stupid again?" The sheepish grin on his face broke the tension, made her smile.
"Something like that, yeah."
"What made you change your mind?"
"A friend talked some sense into me. He told me that I wasn't being a very good spy, that I was missing something that was right in front of me. So, I took a good look."
"At what? What did you see?"
She smiled, the first genuinely happy smile he'd seen from her since before Prague.
"You, Chuck. I saw you."
Sarah moved into him, and she placed a soft hand on his cheek and a sweet kiss on his lips. It only lasted a moment, but it left both of them breathless.
She nodded towards the Porsche. "Take a ride with me?"
"Of course. Anywhere you want to go, Sarah." At the sound of her name, Chuck became silent, uncertainty coloring his features. "We've never talked about this, but should I...should I call you Sam?"
For just a split second, she looked infinitely sad. Her blue eyes locked on his brown ones, and she took both his hands in hers.
"No, Chuck. For you, I'll always be Sarah."
x x x x x x x x x x
The next morning Chuck strode into the Buy More, a bounce in his step that had been missing for quite a while. He greeted his fellow Nerd Herders, and he was in such a good mood that he even gave yogurt-stealing Jeff a high five. But he didn't stop at the Nerd Herd desk. Instead, he headed directly for the Assistant Manager's closet and knocked on the door.
"Morgan? You there, little buddy?" He heard feet scrabbling over a desk, and the door opened.
"Chuck! Mi compadre! I'm always here for you."
The simple truth of that statement hit Chuck like a ton of bricks. His little buddy had indeed always been there for him, even when he didn't appreciate or deserve it. "Morgan, I wanted to apologize for bailing on game night."
The bearded man clapped him on the back. "Think nothing of it, Chuck. I'm glad that you and Sarah were finally able to work things out. You two crazy kids are great together."
Chuck's face got a little pink. "Um, I didn't say anything about Sarah."
Morgan almost looked insulted. "C'mon, Chuck. You skipped out on Call of Duty and pizza last night, and this morning you've got a dopey grin plastered on your face. I don't need to be a spy to figure that one out. I'm just glad that my little pep talk with Sarah worked."
The pink was replaced with bright red. "That it did, little buddy, that it did. And once again, thank you for looking out for me."
"It's what I do, Chuck. And it's a job I recommend highly."
Chuck gave his little buddy an affectionate punch in the arm, which was immediately returned. Morgan looked at his watch. "Hey, it's time for my morning rounds. Walk with me, Chuck, as I survey my kingdom. Well, my assistant kingdom, anyway."
No sooner had they turned toward the front of the store than they were greeted by the sight of Sarah walking towards them, leaving a gaggle of lovestruck green shirts in her wake. She was sporting a dazzling smile, and in her hand was a large dish of frozen yogurt. Chuck couldn't help but think of all the times she'd done this in the past, before Prague and Hannah and Shaw. And as he watched her approach, he thought that maybe they'd finally found each other again. He held out his hand as she drew near.
"Yogurt time, huh? What flavor did you bring me today?"
She gave him a short but very sweet kiss, and then swatted away his hand. "The kiss was for you, but the yogurt is not." She turned to Morgan. "It's for you. I wanted to thank you for being such a good friend, both to Chuck and to me."
Morgan's eyes bugged out. "Sweet! Extra large Vanilla Berry Razzmatazz, complete with sprinkles! Well done, Sarah!"
Chuck laughed. "Yeah, Sarah, very well done indeed. Morgan has an unhealthy obsession with that stuff. I think you just made his day."
"I owe him a lot more than that." She kissed Chuck again. "I've gotta get back, but I'll see you at lunch, okay?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Sarah walked away, leaving Chuck with a goofy smile and Morgan with a mouthful of yogurt. But after a few steps she looked back over her shoulder, a saucy little smirk on her face. "Oh, Morgan? I appreciate your making good on your IOU, but next time, slide in a few extra. Sometimes, a girl needs more than just one." She sashayed out the door, a little extra sway in her hips and a wicked grin on her face.
Dumbstruck, the two men watched Sarah's retreating form. Chuck blushed to his toes, and Morgan stood frozen, his spoon halfway between cup and mouth. Finally, Morgan put a hand on his best friend's shoulder.
"Dude, you are the luckiest man in the world."
Chuck eyes stayed on Sarah until she disappeared from sight. He then turned to Morgan, a huge grin on his still-red face.
"Little buddy, you are absolutely right.
x x x x x x x x x x
So there you have it, my second attempt to reconcile Chuck and Sarah. I don't plan to write any more, as it's been tough to find motivation lately and I'm hoping that the show will start doing its own heavy lifting in 310. Huge thanks to mxpw for acting as beta on this; to daydreamer2578 for an early read-thru and great feedback; and to Wepdiggy for letting me play in his sandbox. I firmly believe that any fan of good Chuck stories should have all three of these writers favorited.
I hope you enjoyed this, and thanks again for reading. Now, hit the little review button below and tell me what you thought!