Chapter 1: SkyLoaf
The sun had broke the cloud barrier, with beauty shimmering across the skyland.
The story zooms slowly into the dorm of Zelda... Zelda is in her hot skyunderwear cooking her skyloaf for her to-be-chosen hero. She goes on the balcony, outside and rests her hand onto her chin onto the sidebar. Zelda sighs, "oooh." When suddenly Gannondwarf appeared behind her! "Gwahahaha, still haven't chosen your hero yet?" Gannon slapped her on the back, harder than he should have, and she spit blood out over the edge. "Daddy!" She infuriated for a moment, then being the good submissive woman she was, let Gannon slip a peak at her skyloaf that was cooking currently. "That will cook nicely..." He commented, and they went back to the balcony. "Daddy... What ever happened to mom?" Zelda began, but Gannon interrupted. "Oh, sure I will tell you all about her...one second sweety," Gannon laughed, then pulled out his heat-seeking RPG launcher out of his ass and loaded it up. He fired into the air. A noise that sounded like a dragonfly getting squashed was heard with each rocket Gannon fired. He fired four rockets total, when a DRAGON APPEARED! "YOU BASTARD! You killed Sparks!" The dragon roared. Gannon responded by throwing the rocket launcher over his shoulder and laughing. "Serves you right Spyro! The Skyland is too small for the two of us!" Spyro snorted in disgust. "We, the Skylanders, will never surrender to you hooligan-" and at that moment, a fifth rocket was fired by an unknown man, hitting Spyro directly. Spyro spun out of control downward, into the depths beyond the cloud barrier, all the while burning on fire, consciously screaming his poor dragon soul out. It was said that day, the scales of a dragon could be seen scattered across the land. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Gannon shit himself with joy, falling over repeatedly. "Daddy..." Zelda tried to start again, "about mom..." But Gannon brushed by her. "Sorry sweety, Daddy just got an extreme urge to masturbate! Oh, and I have to report this to our war general, we finally got the bastard- can you believe it!? Anyway, I'll talk to you later, Ta-ta!" Gannon left, slamming the door shut in joy. Zelda sighed, then smelled something burning... "OH NO!" She shrieked, trying to run inside, but her Daddy had locked the door! "NOOOO!" She screamed and pounded on the door like a little bitch, throwing a tamper tumprum. She squealed and rolled into a ball, finally realizing she had an alternative. She jumped off the balcony, and was caught by Link and his bird! "Ugh... What happened to my bird?" Link said nothing as usual, and smiled. "Hey, ugh... Could you drop me off at the front entrance of the dorms? I need to prepare... I'll see you at the ceremony or something okay? Link nodded. She ran into her room after ditching his loser punk ass. "Ugh, what a FAGGOT!" She menaced. Then she noticed the burnt skyloaf. "Fuck." Zelda rolled her eyes. She went to the next door, which read, "Groose," and bashed it open without bothering to knock. "Yeah, yeah yeah! Uhhhhhhh!" A gruff birly noise could be heard. "Flex it. Now curve it. Now SQUEEZE IT." Zelda had walked into Fledge milking Groose's dick! "WHAT. THE. FUCK." She dropped her mouth open in shock. "Nooo! It's not what it looks like!" Fledge panicked, "he bullied me into milking his dick, because he broke the milk bottles and we had to replace them and WAAAAA!" Fledge broke down before he could finish explaining. "What?" Zelda was confused. "You broke the milk bottles? But the only who drinks milk is..." Her mouth was in horror, and she now understood the severity of the situation.