Don't own Pokemon.

Pokémon: Tale of a Vindictive Pikachu

Chapter 1

Ash Ketchum sighed in relief as he finally reached the peak of the mountain. He was one step closer to catch the rarest of the pokémon: Rayquaza, the humongous, green, flying, almighty snake-like creature, that lived in the highest point of the highest pillar, on the highest peak, of the tallest mountain in the region of Hoenn ('cause you know, he's too cool to live in a common day-to-day location, like, I don't know, some grassland on route 120. But, no that is not of the liking of his Greenness).

So maybe Ash wasn't that close to his goal after all. But remember that he has a never ending supply of optimism! That and the constant weight of his, relatively fat friend (Pikachu had monopolized Ash's shoulder, since he demanded that he was just too important to stain his little yellow paws on the dirt. Speaking of which, he had not been able to see those two for quite the time now…maybe it was time for some exercise) on his shoulder, plus the beating sun was making him delusional. So, on he went with his journey, trusted companion still perched like a gargoyle on his shoulder.

"We're almost there Pikachu" Ash said weakly, "Just another one-thousand meters of dangerous cliffs and rocks and we will reach our destiny. After this I'm sure my childhood dream of becoming the world's greatest pokémon Master will come true, regardless of how many Pokémon leagues I keep losing, or how many strong pokémon I let free!" the boy claimed happily in the afternoon sun to his rat-like companion. Pikachu just tilted his blond head and said "Pika! Pika! Pika...chu?" followed by a disturbing smile. Ash eyed Pikachu curiously and shrugged, interpreting his actions as an endearment, thus, he continued walking with renewed energy.

Little did he knew that the real meaning of this seemingly innocent response was not so… endearing.

What Pikachu was saying was something like this: "Why! Oh, why do I have to be the last pokémon on that damned lab! I should have listened to my mother and stayed in the tree! But no! I wanted to see what that perverted professor was doing with the red-headed lady. Now I'm stuck with this imbecile who can't see past the never-ending collection of pathetic disguises team Rocket come up with. Argh! Why me?!...Wait, I must plan a way to doom this trainer's life… hmm…a well placed thunderbolt to slowly fry his insides? Or maybe hit him with a skull bash and leave him to die of blood-loss, or maybe…..

Hehehe, I think is better if we leave him there.

A little ray of sunshine, isn't he?

After some days of difficult climbing, dangerous cliffs, and very suspicious near-death accidents, our favorite hero reached the, supposedly humble, abode of Rayquaza. Said home consisted of walls, floors and ceiling furnished with the most stunning emeralds you could find, a staircase made out of rubies and on top of the stairs a giant bed, covered in the finest blue-silk sheets. Clearly the Green-lizard king was living a good life, which explained why he never bothered to help his fellow legendary pokémons escape Team Magma and Team Aqua until they were quarreling, endangering all human and pokémon existence alike. But that, and how he was able to acquire such exquisite gems and bed-sheets, is another story.

Ash stared at "humble" house/cave of Rayquaza, torn between taking a "few" souvenirs or capturing the Legendary pokémon. And after some profound (not) thinking, Ash decided that great fortune and richness was even better than that stupid "Pokémon Master" title. Our hero quickly procured a drill and a hammer from thin air and started robbing the poor (figuratively) unsuspecting King of the sky. Carefully, as to not make noise Ash saved the enormous pieces of emerald in his Mary-Poppins-like bag.

Laughing like a mad man, the brunette continued taking sections off the wall.

Meanwhile, poor Pikachu lay forgotten on a dark corner. Seemingly innocent round eyes watched the greedy trainer like a fearow who was about to make a kill. Yes, Pikachu had finally stepped down the shoulder and tainted his beautiful corn-flowered-colored paws, when the toxic fumes emanating from the drill started to make him dizzy. This infuriated the little pokémon more than you could imagine. His little fat body revolted with more rage a gyarados and a primeape combined could muster. His eyes narrowed. And then, a creepy hunter-like smirk slowly appeared in his chubby face. Seems like Pikachu has another evil plan…

Ash wiped his sweaty forehead, and stepped back to admire his handiwork, large chunks of wall and floor were missing here and there. Ash was one-hundred percent sure he had collected enough emeralds to live a comfortable life in Pallet town. Hmm… he thought, "Maybe girls I randomly meet every time I start an adventure will finally take me seriously! Hehehe… I refuse to be 'Just friends' with every girl I meet!" exclaimed the sexual repressed adolescent.

Suddenly Ash felt a firm tug on his sleeve. His face paled and his blood ran cold. Had he been discovered? He quickly put all his tools in the Mary-Poppins-like bag, thinking he could hide the mischief he had been doing. (This narrator clearly questions his mental well-being because certainly, Rayquaza, could not miss the new, "windows", his cozy home had now or the new "Olympic-pool" in the middle of the room…)

But no, the Pallet town native had not been discovered. The origin of this small tug was just his "loyal" companion, the one and only, Pikachu. "What is it? Don't you see I'm a little busy Pikachu?" Ash said, irked by the sudden interruption in his "souvenir hunt". "Pika! Pika! Chu! Chu!" said the yellow pokémon with a disturbing delighted expression. Pikachu was pointing at the giant red-staircase in the middle of the chamber, that apparently, for some mysterious reason, the trainer had overlooked.

The reaction was instantaneous, Ash's eyes borrowed the form of a starmie and drool came out of his mouth, he stood unmoving for several minutes. All of this not helping change the opinion of this narrator and Pikachu, that undoubtedly this boy must had been dropped head-first on the floor when little. Maybe because Mrs. Ketchum was busy doing not-so-innocent things with the next door scientist.

Pikachu started making a victory dance followed by his trade-mark victorious pose, celebrating Ash's sudden and oh-so-tragic stroke when abruptly, said trainer, rocketed forward with his newly best-buddies: Mr. Hammer and Ms. Drill and his inexplicably weightless Mary-Poppins-like bag.

Poor Pikachu almost had a heart attack!

When the yellow midget recovered from his near-death experience (Maybe he needs to lose some weight), he quickly remembered his evil-plan. He would lurk in the shadows, waiting for the perfect opportunity to use his obese body and make Ash Ketchum, or Sir Ketchum as he call himself now, fall to his unavoidable doom.

"Pikaaaaachuuuu!" exclaimed the smug Pikachu. Ash turned his head and smiled at Pikachu, "Eager, aren't we? Don't worry Pikachu! I shall collect enough treasures for both of us. Finally we will move out of my mother's house!" and in afterthought he added "You know Pikachu? I keep hearing this strange noises at night every time we stay at my house. Like bed-posts scratching the floor and some banging coming from my mom's bedroom. Strange, isn't? Maybe she is having nightmares…" Pikachu just… well, pikachued him in response, this roughly translated in something like: "Fool! Your mom is having fun by the old pervert under your own nose! HAHA!

Ash sent him another smile, again, mistaking Pikachu's meaning and continued with his work, blissfully unaware of the dark schemes his childhood "friend" had planned.

Another 30 minutes passed by, that make you admire how heavy sleeper Rayquaza was. Not once had the almighty pokémon heard the cracking maniac laughter of the bizarre human below. Anyway, Ash kept flying from ruby to ruby like a beedrill collecting nectar. Then he located a stunning ruby in the center of the scarlet staircase, reaching it quickly he started to drill.

Pikachu's patience finally had been rewarded, for the back of the clueless boy was facing him. Seizing his opportunity Pikachu backtracked some distance to ensure maximum power and charged.

To be continued.....

Well, tell me what you think! and please point out any grammar mistake you find.

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