So I thought

Chapter 1: So in love with you.

I never thought being in love would hurt so much. I hated having these feelings for someone. Feeling so vulnerable and helpless.

And I hated how I just let the bronzehaired boy walk by me everyday at school and not even say anything to him. How I would always watch him in classes and spot him at lunch. But I know why I do this. I'm afraid. Afraid of getting hurt.

Even though it hurts now what if it gets worst? I hate how everytime he walks by me I feel like I'm choking and this feeling won't stop until he's out of sight. Actually it still doesn't stop. I think about him all the time. I dream about him at night. I see him everywhere ,even if he isn't there. Sometimes I can't help but breakdown in my room and start crying. I hate this! I hate feeling this way. And I can't talk to anyone about it.

It's like I'm all alone and like there's this force telling me not to tell anyone no matter what. The worst part is feeling all alone. Like I'm the only one going through all of this. But I know I'm not the only one. And you know what I hate the most?? I hate how he doesn't seem affected by anything! I hate how he just casually walks by like nothing's wrong at all! I just hate it!Ugh. How can he do that? Doesn't he feel it too? I feel so sad and alone all the time and it's him who causes this! And I bet he wouldn't care anyway. I bet he just blow me off like some tissue. But my heart keeps telling me to not lose hope that it will get better. It tells me to trust me, to trust my feelings and just let all the peices fall into place.

So I have hope and everyday I suffer but then I think of how someday it might change. Someday he will notice and everthing wil be worth the wait. But who knows? God? Yeah I guess he only knows. He knows how this will turn out. I wish that I was a mind reader or like I could see the future just to see if it all works out. Not to just waist my time with some insensitive boy who probably doesn't know I exsist. I really really hope it all wil be worth while though.

So much that if it doesn't I think I would die inside.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock going off playing one of my favorite songs So I thought by Flyleaf. I sang along while finding my school uniform consisting of a crimson button up top and a gray skirt alittle short for my taste.I live in Seattle, Washington in a condo all by myself.

My parents are both photographers and so they travel a lot leaving their eighteen year old daughter alone in a condo where anything can happen... But they trust me and I love my parents for that.

I gathered all my junk and took a nice long shower letting the hot water melt away all my worries and fears. I washed my body and rinsed my hair finally getting out of the shower. I dressed quickly and ran downstairs to make a qucik omelett. I plopped the egg in the warm enough pan and waited for it to cook also brushing my hair at the same time. I ran back upstairs and put my untangly hair in a messy bun. Than i ran back down to eat my omlett.

Wow I'm surprised I haven't tripped yet I thought as I ate my omlett really fast burning my tongue in the process. I ran up the stairs, for the last time, to brush my teeth, put some lotion on my rusty looking legs and gather all my books. Running back down the stairs is harder with your heavy bookbag on your back and especially when you have socks on. So of course I tripped and fell on my but all the way down the stairs.

I sat at the bottom of the stairs for at least five minutes trying to keep the tears back. I have enough of those crying every night. The pain began to feel numb and I stood up and slipped my gray flats on grabbed the keys, and ipod and left. I pushed the elevator button and waited for it to come when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I sighed and turned around already knowing who it was. And there she was pale skinned spiky haired browned eyed Alice.

" Hey Bella." I gave her a small smile and walked in to the elevator with her right behind me. Don't get me wrong I love Alice. We've been friends since we were in diapers but she's a morning person and well... I'm not.

She knew this so she was quite the whole ride down to the lobby while I tryed to find my sweater that is usually in my bag. I probably left it in my locker. I groaned and put my ipod in a spot in my bookbag and put the earphones in my ears letting Flyleaf take over me. I just love all there songs! They are so amzing and wonderful and I love Lacey's voice.

Alice walked by me to school in silence which is alittle unusual. She usually starts talking to me when we get outside. It was cold and misty this morning and I felt horrible leaving my sweater in my locker. We finally got to school and Alice left to go find Jasper, her boyfriend, leaving me to find my long-lost sweater.

I walked up the two flights of stars that lead up to the second floor and over to my locker. I opened it and thank god! found my sweater. I grabbed it and stuff al my junk in there and closed it. I don't need anything for first period. I have gym first period. Ugh. I snuggled into my sweater closing my eyes and walked down the hall. Apperantly closing my eyes was a very bad idea cause I just so happened to trip.

I instinctively put out my arms to catch me before I fell flat on my face. But instead of feeling the floor i felt something hard yet soft. Like someone's chest... Arms wrapped around me and I gasped opening my eyes.

I think I knew who it was cause I felt an electric shock go through me. And here was the one and only brozne haired boy that sent my mind in a frenzy and my heart fluttering, Edward Masen.

I was staring straight into his emerald piercing eyes and they stared back into my brown boring ones. I felt the blood rise up to my cheeks and I looked down completely embarrssed. He let get of me and I helped pick up his books that probably flew to the ground.

" I am so sorry." I whispered.

Handing him his books. He smiled a breathtaking smile that seemed crooked. His white teeth shined form the florescent lights making my heart beat even faster. I can't believe this!
" It's okay. At least I was there to catch you." He said.

His voice was like silk just running through the air into my head. He lifted his hand up hesitantly and stroked my cheek. My blush porbably turned ten times as red. He smiled again and walked behind me then stopped.

He turned around and said. "Seeya in fourth period, Bella."

I stared at him like in idiot as he walked down the hall and turned the corner. I was completely freaking out right now. I didn't know he noitced that I was in any of his classes and I definently didn't know he knew my name.
Just then the bell rang and I hurried to my class in a complete daze.

Edward knows me, He knows my name.

A/N: Okay so this is my first fanfic and I'm burning with curiousity. Tell me if you like it and if you want more. But it might take a while to update cause of school and stuff. I really want to know what you guys think so tell me what your really thinking and don't butter me up!

Oh and this is sorta based on me...sorta . Like there was this boy that I started liking and he was like my bestfriend and well it didn't end well, But don't worry this story will be filled with some kind of happiness. Some...

Lol Freaked you out there huh?

Oh and I'm new so it will take a while for me to figure things out like how to put the next chappy on here...ya I know...I'm a little challenged...lol.

Oh and If I spelled anything wrong please correct me... I think I spelled omlett wrong...idk

This story was inspired by So I thought by Flyleaf. Just listen to it! you will cry I swear! well I cried...

Me: Do I own twlight, Edward??

Eddie: Nope, Sorry.

Me: Will I ever own Twilight

Eddie:ermmmm...I think the answer is no??

Me: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...Wrong!! One day I will rule the world including twilight!!muahahahahaha!

Eddie: mutters Whacko!

Me: huh??

Eddie: Achhhhhooooo...nothing!

Hope you like!

, I am your worst nightmare