Disclaimer: And I repeat. No.
A/N: I was given this as a challenge. Not exactly deepest darkest secret, but close enough. I hopes this is humorous. ^^ Enjoy!
"Kiss me."
And this is where you come in and are completely confused. I don't blame you. Let me start from the beginning. My name is Luna Lovegood, though some people call me Loony. They aren't very nice. You're probably wondering what the whole kissing thing's about. It started a week ago, minus three and a half minutes, after Herbology. I'm not entirely sure why, but Herbology classes are mixed years, much like Care of Magical Creatures. I have it with sixth year Gryffindors.
Anyway, I had packed up and was leaving the greenhouses when I spotted Neville clutching something in his hands. You know, Neville Longbottom? Clumsy, tall, wiz at Herbology? I'm sure you've seen him. So I, naturally, went over to see what he had.
It was a cutting of Devil's Snare. Now, I may not be a genius when it comes to plants, and yes, I am a trifle odd, but I can tell apart one plant from another.
"That's not a nice plant," I murmured. He jumped, whirled around, and stared at me as if he'd never seen a human being before. I patted the top of me head. No, there were no horns or anything.
"Nice?" he choked. I nodded.
"What are you going to do with it?" I wanted to know. After about three minutes he answered.
"Put it under my bed," was the mumbled response.
"You're going to keep Devil's Snare under your bed?" I asked, unsure if I had heard correctly. Just in case a wrackspurt had floated into my head, I hummed a part of a song. They hate music and leave if you hum or sing or play an instrument. I find humming much easier. When I felt no change, I had to assume that there was no Wrackspurt. A curt nod from Neville confirmed that I had, indeed, heard right. "I won't tell," I told him. The boy visibly relaxed. "But," I added, "You have to do what I say for an entire week."
"A week?"
"A full school week," I nodded seriously. "And I do mean everything."
Finally he nodded. I smiled. "Follow the road of candyland!" I tossed him a candied Gurdyroot. He caught it and stared at it. I waved a hand vaguely in his direction as I drifted out of the greenhouses, already planning what I would do.
The next day was interesting, to say the least. Not only did I find evidence of heliopaths on the school grounds, but I also made Neville play the violin. It was by no means beautiful music, but it kept away the wrackspurts. For whatever reason, they seem to be infesting the school. I must find out more about this.
The day after that I told him to dance. I don't see why he says he has two left feet. I could clearly see one right shoe and one left shoe. Later that same day I received a bouquet of flowers tied together with blue ribbon. The flowers are tied to my bedstead now. I wonder who gave them to me?
On the third day, I practiced playing the piano. I made Neville go away and keep other people away from the music room. I don't like it when people listen to me play. It's distracting. And I'm sure that the wrackspurt infestation is dropping. It's been a while since I've felt one around.
The fourth day wasn't very interesting. I painted a heliopath and forced Neville to run around the entire castle once. A skepith - creature created entirely out of clouds - flew by. No one believed me when I said that, though.
And that brings us to today, the last day of Neville's enslavement. I was walking down the hallway, humming to keep away the wrackspurts, and ran into Neville. I think he's been avoiding me today. "How's the Snare?' I ask suddenly.
He grimaced. "Don't ask."
So I didn't. Instead, I checked my hourglass necklace. I spelled it so that it would time me for five days. The grains of sand told me that I only had three and a half minutes left. And, I swear I have no idea where this came from, but I stopped and said, "Kiss me."
This is probably where you came in. This is also about the time where Neville started to turn red.
"What?" is his stammered reply.
I shrug. "Please?"
By this time his face has turned a rather unique shade of color. I can only describe it as 'Weasley Red'. I study my feet intently. There's nothing really interesting on the ground, but I am rather excellent at pretending. Suddenly remembering to be on the lookout for wrackspurts, I hum quietly to myself. When Neville stays silent, I turn and walk away.
I haven't gone very far when I am stopped by a hand closing over my wrist. Now, I am not the world's most coordinated person. I trip backwards and fall, only to be caught by Neville. He presses his lips to mine for less than a second, then races away, cheeks still bright red.
I cannot move. I can't speak, I can't hum, and I certainly can't defend myself, should I for whatever reason be attacked in the hallway. Oddly, I sense no wrackspurts around. However, I can feel my cheeks heating up.
When I feel something hot in a pocket in my robes, it jolts me out of my shock and I take out a galleon, glowing cherry red. As soon as I pick it up, the heat fades from it and it goes back to being a cold golden color. Peering at the numbers, I can see that there is a DA meeting tonight. I slip the coin back into my pocket and set off for the dining hall.
I don't think I'll be pairing up anywhere near Neville tonight.