Some day, people will figure out allowing me to make sugar cookies is a bad idea. I get cracky fanfiction ideas. (I think I wrote a story like this before... oh yeah, I did. Different fandom though, so hey.)
It was, Dick supposed, Lian's fault. She had told her daddy she wanted to make sugar cookies sometime after school.
So, one night, after begging, pleading, and attempted trickery, Dick acquired one of Alfred's prized cookie recipes. A stop at a grocery store and he arrived at Roy's house just before Lian appeared. Digging through Roy's cupboards, he found a small packet of cookie cutters still in the original packaging.
Giving Roy a long look, he waved the cutters in front of Roy's face.
"I got those for Christmas one year. But we never… had… time," Roy blushed and grabbed them. "But we have time now."
"No super-villains out and about, no end of the world, just two superheroes baking cookies," Dick agreed, setting out the ingredients just as Lian burst through the door. She had glomp-tackled Dick before taking anything else in.
"Uncle Dick!" she cried from her position wrapped around his waist. "Did you come over for dinner?"
"And to bake cookies," Dick smiled.
Squeaking at tones Dick didn't think could come from a human being, Lian untangled herself from Dick to attack her father. "Wait here!" she shrieked, leaping up the stairs to her room.
Dick and Roy only had time for one look before she was back, thrusting a few more packages in their arms. Opening them automatically, Dick's eyes went wide. "Would it count as cannibalism if I ate this cookie?" he asked, holding up a Nightwing Cookie Cutter TM.
Roy had a Wonder Woman cutter in one hand and a Superman one in the other. "Hey, where's mine?"
Exchanging a look with Lian, Dick fished around his bag for the Speedy one and threw the arrow shaped cutter at Roy's head.
"We have to make different colored frosting too!" Lian chirped as Roy held the Batman cutter hostage from Dick until he handed over the Green Arrow and Aquaman ones. Dick had no idea what Roy wanted with the Aquaman one but no harm could be allowed to come to the Batman cookie cutter!
Finally the dough was made, cut in many varied forms, and frosted in bright colors. On one of those annoying movie channels, Lian informed them (only without the 'annoying' bit) a new movie about Batman and Superman was airing, so they settled onto the couch with the large platter of cookies.
Of course, the movie got everything wrong, but that was to be expected. Aquaman made a brief appearance, once again causing Dick confusion. "Has the world been struck with Aquaman syndrome or something?"
Roy shoved his lover's shoulder as Lian munched on the cookies on the floor between them.
Rolling his eyes, Dick reached for the Batman cookie just as his 'mentor' appeared on screen (a horrible likeness. They got the eyes and hair all wrong…) only to see Roy's hand dart in front of his. Snatching the Batman cookie, Roy shoved it all into his mouth.
His eyebrows raised, Dick just gave him a patented Alfred look that he'd stolen. "Jealousy issues much?"
Roy made an agreeing noise around the cookie crumbs in his mouth. Dick sighed extravagantly and picked up the Superman cookie. Sadly Lian had eaten the Green Arrow one long ago. Then Dick ate the Kory cookie, and the Batgirl one…
Growling, Roy was about to eat something drastic (Like the Joker or Cheshire cookie—and why did they have villain cookie cutters in with the hero ones?) until Dick picked up the Speedy cookie.
Arrows were such great phallic symbols, weren't they?
Dick started at the tip and began to nibble down the red frosted cookie, aware of Roy's eyes on his, both now ignoring the TV until Lian made a squealing sound. "Look, Uncle Dick! There you are!"
Turning his head just enough to see, Dick removed the half he hadn't eaten from his mouth and ignored the small sound Roy made. "They got that totally wrong," he huffed. "I was never that happy."
"Sure you were," Roy disagreed, his eyes darting to the TV screen and then back to Dick's mouth.
"In hind sight, that costume wasn't the best fashion statement," Dick said, eyeing 'his' legs, ignoring Roy.
"I think it was," Roy purred as the credits began to roll.
Dick glared at the TV, the cookie still in his hand. "I can't believe they threw me in at the end! That's so cheap!"
"I'd never throw you in at the end," Roy smirked and Dick scowled at him.
"Perv," he whispered, shoving the rest of the cookie in his mouth, getting a choked noise from Roy that he hastily cut off.
"So, Lian, ready for bed?" Roy tried to sound too happy, and like he wasn't totally about to jump Dick in three point five seconds, at least until his daughter was safely in bed.
"Yup!" she chirped, bounding up and into the bathroom.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Roy reached out to grab the Nightwing cookie, which had somehow remained untouched so far. Dick's breath hitched a little as he stood hastily.
"I should brush my teeth…" he said quickly, as Roy stood and kissed him. Roy tasted like cookies. "If I'm going to stay the night."
"You are… I hope," Roy rumbled from deep in his chest.
"Teeth brushing means staying," Dick agreed. "But I'm going to say goodnight to Lian first."
"Of course," Roy nodded, following him into her room and tucking her in as Dick darted for the bathroom. He was too well trained to not clean his teeth after so much sugar. Coming up behind him, Roy wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his neck.
"Just a sec," Dick mumbled, before setting the toothbrush down in time for Roy to lift him up and carry him over to the bed. "Hey!" Dick protested (but quietly, wouldn't want to wake up the munchkin or give her weird ideas).
"You like it."
"I may have many strange kinks, but being carried is not one of them," he informed Roy as he was tossed on the bed. "Yet," he amended as Roy walked out of the room. "HEY!" he whined until Roy returned with the Nightwing cookie.
One bite in and Dick jumped him.
So yeah. :)