So, I was watching an archive of a livestream playthrough of Resident Evil 4 by Austin and Aysha from the web series Eggbusters, and they offhandedly challenged the watchers to write a Leon x Bayonetta x Aysha fanfic, and I took the challenge seriously.
I apologize, Aysha.
It was a beautiful shining day over the gleaming horizon while Leon and Aysha rode on a jetski while on their honeymoon because they got married and lived happily ever after. Leon's sexy hair flowed in the ocean breeze as they glided alongide the aquamarine waters of the sparkling sea. Aysha embraced her newly aquired husband from behind and clung deep onto his well toned body for support as the jetski swerved all across the crystalline waves. She slipped her hands under his shirt and pawed up his abdomen and washboard abs, nuzzling her dashingly handsome lover and kissing his neck.
"Aysha, my darling, we're going to the damn island." He said, forming his luscious lips into a seductive smile, looking back onto his lover with his precious eyes.
"Oh Leon, you're so sexy!" Aysha said while snuggling him
Leon rode along a big wave in the ocean and drove into it, using it as a ramp to propel them high into the sky with super speed, then they glided along the air until they reached the island, then he made the jetski somersault onto the beach and they landed as gently, which is also how Leon makes love, unless Aysha wants otherwise because he's adaptable in bed and his highest goal is to please his lover.
"We have arrived at this place, at the island." He said, with the wind blowing in his hair sexily again.
"What's this island, Leon?" She said while touching her husband.
"The island is known as Pen Island." He winked alluringly.
"This island is big, almost the size of your male parts!" Aysha joked passionately.
The island's size had been considered to be quite large.
"That is why it is called Pen Island, it is a damn pun on the word 'penis' because it is split up and it makes the name of the island look like it says 'penis land' when it is spelled out, but because we are speaking it verbally and no text is involved, we do not understand the sexual innuendo because it doesn't make the phonetic sound of the word 'penis' when it is broken up into the words 'pen' and 'island,' but if you just read it and if you are blind to spaces between words for some reason, the two words will blend together into one word and you might mistakenly read it as 'penis land' but then later on you realize that it says 'pen island' and you realize that you have a dirty mind and you feel bad and disappointed in yourself for having such perverted thoughts because you should read it as just being about pens and not naughty boy parts that are used for sexual reproduction." He kissed Aysha.
"I love you, Leon." She kissed him back.
"I love you too, Aysha." He said and they hugged romantically.
But suddenly Bayonetta appeared and she said "Hello that is one sexy man"
"Damn, no you cannot take me for I am in love with my precious Aysha," said while holding his lover, Aysha.
"Ooh you are quite sexy as well, Bayonetta," said Aysha, and then the three of them began to take their clothes off. Aysha and Bayonetta ripped off Leon's jacket and shirt. Aysha massaged Leon's shoulders and made out with him while Bayonetta suckled on his neck and rubbed all over his chest.
"Oh yes he is quite a delicious man" Bayonetta said while she pawed at his lap while Leon caressed Aysha's body, he soothingly massaged her lady parts and made her release hentai voices. She pawed at Leon's hair while Bayonetta spanked Leon's tight butt. Aysha reached for Leon's belt and undid it and both she and Bayonetta pulled his pants down to reveal his boxers where his manliness strained against the tight fabric of his boxers.
They immediately tore off his boxers and played with his manhood making him moan sensually. Bayonetta used her magic powers to bind Leon and Aysha into chains, making the two captors gasp as she took advantage of Leon's member by using it on her lady place and she moaned as she gained pleasure with Leon's body.
Aysha summoned the power to break free from the chains and when Bayonetta finished with him, Aysha dragged her away to get round two with Leon. Leon squirmed around in his chains tons as his wife made love to him and Bayonetta played with the rest of his body. Aysha and Leon moaned tons as they made sweet love to each other while Bayonetta was also part of the action, and the honeymoon was quite enjoyable.
"Also, Aysha, I forgot to mention: As a result this lovemaking session, you shall conceive an awesome child, but he will have glasses as a result of my essence becoming bonded with you two, and the baby shall be named Austin because in the future you two will make videos together and sometimes he tells the audience that you are his mother, and he is obviously being serious so it is the truth. So umm yeah, you need to raise your child Austin to make a youtube channel where he does glitches in video games and stuff."
And then Bayonetta vanished, leaving Aysha and Leon alone to make love to each other against the beach's amber sunset.
The End.