Um ya, I don't own star wars, Lucas does. :3
Just a drabble type thing I wrote a while ago about mara's feelings for luke.
ooooooo
It was so hard wanting someone when you couldn't have them. It was even worse when every time you met them, they were completely oblivious to your feelings for them. Mara did not think she would ever have this problem… but here it was. Eating her up inside like acid. Her heart was suspended in poison, protected only by its dependence on an innocent jedi. Things had changed so much since she'd first admitted her feelings to herself. She was in a constant state of exhaustion, unable to sleep without being haunted by intensely graphic and passionate dreams. Unable to eat without succumbing to an inevitable stomach ache. Unable to think without obsessing over each intimate detail of the growing list of his habits that both attracted and infuriated her. He made it so difficult when she had to be in his presence. She'd plan for hours ahead of time, mentally preparing herself for when she would have to face him, only to find that once she got there, she was left feeling utterly flustered and stripped of her elaborately crafted defenses. In his presence, the equivalent of one breath suddenly increased to three rather rapid, shallow ones. In his presence, she received the recommended amount of cardio strain for a week, all in five minutes. Yet when she wasn't around him, she could still feel him. Some essence of his being was embedded within her, lodged inside her fragile heart. With recurring frequency, it caused her heart to swell at the tiniest thought of him. Never before was she so frighteningly aware of just how much desire she harbored with her. It was sporadic and deceiving. Quite often it was subtle. But sometimes it wasn't/ Sometimes it was a force all its own. It raged inside of her. You cannot have him, yet you wonder endlessly what it would feel like I f he touched you… if he held you in his arms… if he kissed you. You will never know the way he would love you… all you can do is suffer from this fire that is inside of you, that burns the very places he could have… enduring just a single day in this kind of pain was pure torture. It seemed each time it got harder and harder to be around him. It was even worse when he reached out to her so innocently with his force presence. The glowing sensation that filled and warmed her had once felt only protective and comforting, but now it was so wrongly arousing and tantalizing. There was no way to tell him that his innocent intrusions were suddenly coupled with sexual energy. No way to explain to him how seeing him with another woman, any woman, triggered craze of jealousy in the pit of her stomach. It even happened when the woman wasn't even attractive or easily less attractive than her. It still bothered her. It even bothered her when he was with a married woman, even if they were just talking. If they were discussing serious matters, Mara wished to be on that intimate a level with him herself; if they were lighthearted and laughing, she wished to be the one making him laugh. It would even get to her when he was with Leia. Mara found it hard to have to look at the twins when they were together. She envied the closeness of their bonded relationship, their shared history. She was full of envy, if only he would just look at her in a different way, she would be cured of it. If only he would see her for who she was, not as a jedi, but as a woman. She would win his heart.