Sebastian stared down at the pile of Valentine's Day cards on his desk. He picked up a brown paper bag full of conversation hearts and popped a couple in his mouth. He had a lot of Valentine's gifts and cards and boys asking for dates (he didn't realized there were so many open guys at Dalton) but none of it mattered to him. He shut his eyes and sighed, thinking about Blaine. The flashback of what he did to him played and he felt his eyes start to burn.

How could he have done something so horrible? He made Blaine blind in one eye. He had never hurt someone so much. Emotionally and especially not physically. He took one of the boxes of chocolate and threw it at the wall. It didn't break, it only dented slightly and slid down the wall. He let out a shaky sigh and took his jacket off.

He liked Blaine. He was attracted to him physically, sure, but he liked his personality and his outlook on things. But he was with Kurt and there was no way he was going to change his mind. They were truly and deeply in love, or they thought so. Sebastian knew high school love didn't last, but he still wanted to have a relationship with him. They could break up when it came time for Blaine to go to college, but Blaine was only a junior and Sebastian was a sophomore, so they still had a little over a year.

He sat on his bed and took off his tie, staring at the sky blue wall. Blaine was in the hospital. Blaine was hurt. Blaine needed surgery. Blaine might be permanently blind in one eye. He looked down at his dark blue pants and broke down, his throat starting to throb because of the sobs. So many couples were out and having fun, eating Italian or having indoor picnics, but because of the way he was and his views on romance, he was at home alone, crying about a boy who was taken.

He crawled to the top of the bed, flopping down when his head was over the pillow. He unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off, gripping at his stomach. It was hurting because of how upset he was. He wanted Blaine so bad that it physically hurt his body not to have him. His fingers curled around his belt and he lets out several sobs. He curled up and felt the salty water seep through his pants.

He didn't know what to do with all of these emotions. His family held in every feeling but happiness and anger. That's how he had been raised. He told himself it was stupid to waste his tears on Blaine Anderson. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, brushing his palm across his face to wipe away the tears. He walked over to his dresser and threw on a plain t-shirt, sliding his pants down and not bothering to put on sweats.

Sebastian sat down at his desk and tore off a piece of paper from the legal pad lying around. He looked for a pen in his drawer and found a red one. He put it to the paper and started writing a letter to Blaine. An apology letter.

Dear Blaine,

I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm sure there's no way you'll ever truly accept my apology and I don't except you to. There's no excuse for what I did to you and what it ended up causing. I was the only one who planned to put salt in the slushie, none of the other Warblers wanted to. Don't get angry at them, it was all me. I hope you get better and you won't have to have an eye patch for too long. I'm so sorry and I hurt everyday for knowing what I did to you. If you never talk to me again it's perfectly understandable.

He considered putting 'love' but shook his head. Blaine should just assume Sebastian only wanted his body. Not to be with him.

From,

Sebastian

He re-read the letter, wondering what Blaine would think of it. But in a couple of seconds he realized it didn't matter, because Blaine wasn't going to get the letter. Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows and balled up the letter. He tossed it into the wastebasket under the desk, kicking it after he was done. He crossed his arms and laid his head down.

He woke up from an accidental nap thirty minutes later and looked around. He was still stuck in his room, in his house, in Lima, in Ohio. He shut off the desk lamp and walked to his bed in the dark. It was only eight o' clock, but he was so worn out he collapsed on the bed. He got under to covers, onto his side, and chuckled "Happy Valentine's day to me."