Nik's Notes: Something a year or more old and totally unauthorized. He'll not be pleased. He's schoozing a client and I'm bored. No classes until 12/2. Enjoy. R&R.

Nik

Chapter One

Newly-minted CIA Agent Jennifer Burton drove out of LAX in her agency vehicle – a Porsche! She was very excited about her first real mission that didn't involve standing around the 'important agents' as part of their security screen. She'd spent a year in Virginia acting as a screen for other agents who were actually guarding and debriefing a high-ranking defector from the People's Republic of China. She got to accompany the wife on shopping trips. She hated shopping.

When Graham had recruited her, he'd dazzled her with stories of international intrigue and spy missions, implying but not promising that she herself might one day be an international spy. She'd hoped to get an international assignment but her aptitude tests showed her with a 'high protective instinct' quotient and the Agency assigned her to Individual Security Training, a complicated name for 'body guard training'.

She'd been through the Secret Service training program and maxed out all her training scenarios and had been vigorously courted by the federal protective detail but her mentor, Langston Graham, had steered her toward the CIA's protective division, again implying that international assignments awaited her.

Her training at the Farm had included courses not offered to the rank and file agents. She'd received intensive training in body language and 'personal persuasion', as well as doing an internship at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester learning her 'cover legend' as a physical therapist.

She'd had other experiences at the Mayo that weren't in her training outline. She'd lost her V-card to a dashing young intern and gotten her heart broken when he broke off their fledgling relationship. Jennifer Burton would not trust another man for quite a while, or so she told herself.

CIA Substation – Los Angeles

The assistant Chief of Station briefed her in and gave her a listing of 'approved' apartments but recommended that she stay at the CIA residential hotel 'until things shake out for you'.

"I don't understand what you mean, sir." She'd never heard the term before.

"Well, Agent Burton, this particular assignment is tentative, meaning that you may be here a month, a year, who knows. There are currently only 5 protective detailers and you're replacing an agent who moved up and is now on an overseas assignment. With your training and recommendations, you shouldn't be here more than a year before moving on."

She felt a thrill of excitement…the Big Show was finally in her grasp.

"Now, get situated, take a few days to get the lay of the land and then report to UCLA Continuing Ed for your cover training. You'll be using your skill set as a physical therapist as your cover but there are new and exciting advances being done here at UCLA and you should definitely stay on the cutting edge. You're already enrolled. Just go and pick up your class schedule."

"I'm going back to school? For how long?" She had visions of spending a semester in school again, not something she wanted. She wanted her assignment – now!

"Relax, Agent. It's a 3-month night course taught by an engineer who's doing the research on … well, take the course and find out. Your fellow agents have already taken the course for background purposes and tell me the instructor is…interesting. Ask Agent Miller. She's here as the DEA representative and does the debriefing of any drug-involved prisoners or defectors."

"And what do I do during the day? I mean, do I…"

"You'll be running scenarios, more training and assisting in interrogations at the Station Chief's request. I hope you're not squeamish, Agent Burton, because some of the detainees require a great deal of encouragement before they talk…but they always talk…eventually."

"I'm not. I just expected…hell, I don't know what I expected."

The senior agent laughed and then smiled sympathetically. "I'll bet Graham filled your head with visions of undercover work in exotic foreign capitols ferreting out the evil cabal's secrets, didn't he? Sorry, but most spy work is drudgery. Welcome, Agent Burton, to the CIA also known as Clowns in Action."

It wasn't the first time she'd heard the term, but never from a senior agent and never with such conviction. Her mind was reeling when he abruptly dismissed her to take a call.

His receptionist beckoned her over and handed her a 2-inch thick stack of forms and smiled sympathetically. She took in Jenny's appearance with an appraising glance, sighing because she knew this one, despite her enthusiasm would never reach her goal of an international assignment. She was too plain to send as a potential honey trap but probably attractive enough to rise in the domestic ranks if she didn't get married first. She'd be a 'long-termer' in Los Angeles.

"Welcome to LA, Agent Burton. We have a Happy Hour here every Wednesday night at the bar across the street. All of us girls assigned to WitSec duty get together and commiserate with one another and swap gossip and tales of our assignments. I don't normally do this but the regular girl got married and is on her honeymoon so I got stuck with it since I'm still in rehab."

She held up her arm revealing a fiberglass cast.

"Broke it diving from a car on the 5. I don't recommend it at all. Now, I'm not forcing you to come to Wednesday night 'tell all' but you'd be wise to show up and meet the troops outside of their roles, but it's your choice. Finish the forms and return them. Enjoy LA. I've seen worse towns – like Chernobyl."

Jennifer walked away carrying her two pounds of forms. 'Diving from a car on the 5? Chernobyl? And she's here in LA?' She walked to the conference room to finish her 'briefing in'.

It was Wednesday and she'd finally finished 'briefing in' and was looking forward to an assignment. She'd turned in her paperwork to the agent manning the receptionist desk and she reminded her about Happy Hour and renewed the invitation.

"Agent Burton, you'll find it very educational as well as entertaining. A few drinks in you and you'll feel right at home with the rest of old ladies. Listen and learn, Jenny. What you hear and learn might save your life someday. Better to gain the good judgment others gained through experience and bad judgment."

Jennifer Burton nodded and thanked her and left with no intentions whatsoever of attending Happy Hour but the thought of returning to her romance novel and a pizza at her hotel room influenced her decision. She'd go.

Tryst Lounge
Los Angeles
Happy Hour

She nodded to her fellow agents and ordered a drink and sat down. Everyone was talking at once but she managed to hear several 'gems of wisdom' and then one Agent shushed the others and announced 'we have a virgin in our midst. Say 'hello' to Agent Jennifer Burton!"

"This is Beth, Wendy, Judith and the skank on the end is Carina, our resident DEA liaison and lady-in-waiting for an NSA transfer and I'm Alexandra, the resident NSA skank if you listen to these wenches when I'm in the loo."

There was a round of greetings mixed with catcalls and then they settled down to gossiping about the station and it's male agents.

Carina rarely took her eyes off the new brunette with the icy blue eyes. She didn't trust easily and she didn't trust this one with any information at all. She was new, untested, and therefore a liability. Jenny easily read her body language as 'don't mess with me' and ignored her for the remainder of the evening until the conversation turned to their covers as 'caregivers and physical therapists' and a certain UCLA instructor.

"I'm telling you he's gay. I did everything but take these puppies out of my crop top and the most he did was to smile at me like I was some kind of challenged child. He's gay. No one can resist these." She was proudly pointing to her C-Cups as if they were God's gift to men.

The other girls all had similar comments except for one who didn't say a thing until the chatter regarding the man in question became abusive and bordered on the insane and obscene.

"He's not." Carina said this quietly but with authority. "Chuck is…great. You'd know that if you looked past his crotch and listened to what he says and the way he says it. He's in the zone, focused, when he's in class. He's there for a purpose and he has such a passion for his work."

"And I suppose you know this because you bagged him, Carina?" C-Cups snarked.

"No, I haven't bagged him, Wendy. He doesn't do 'casual sex'. We've dated, gone to dinner, dance clubs, made out like horny teenagers on his couch, on his boat, but mostly we do coffee and conversation. He's…nice. But broken. One of us broke his heart and he's stepped back and built his walls. You could see it if you looked into those brown eyes. They're old eyes filled with a lot of pain. But he's definitely not gay, that I can guarantee you."

"Oh, Miller, you're such a skank. You just struck out like the rest of us have. You never even got past a first cup of coffee. Admit it." C-Cups wouldn't leave it alone.

Carina glanced at her watch and smirked at C-Cups. "Oh, I wouldn't say that. Nine minutes. He's incredibly anal about being on-time."

The others just looked at each other and then the gossip started up again on a new topic but Jenny noticed that each of them glanced at their watches or the big clock behind the bar more than before and all looked towards the door as it turned 7pm.

Carina suddenly stood, threw a $20 bill on the table and smiled. "I have to go. See you all next Wednesday. Jenny, be careful around these man eaters."

She grabbed her purse and shot Jenny a look she couldn't quite discern and then walked away. Jenny could clearly hear the brief conversation taking place a few feet behind her.

"Hey, honey. You didn't have to come in. I'd have…" Whatever else she might have said was smothered in a short but intense kiss that had those who could eyeball the situation without making it obvious looking on in envy.

"What kind of guy let's his best girl stand on a corner like a pro? I'm double-parked and the presentation starts at dusk. Ready, Carina?"

"Always, honey. I've never been to a planetarium before. Am I dressed OK?"

Jenny laughed. It was obvious that Carina didn't know what a 'planetarium' was and had no idea…well, that was her problem.

"You'd look good in a HazMat suit, Carina. C'mon, the planets and stars await us."

No one said anything until C-Cups summed up what everyone else but Jenny was thinking.

"That lucky bitch."

But it was Alexandra Forrest's response that stuck in her mind.

"It won't be his fault but it will happen, ladies. He's going to break her heart and soul and leave her broken on the rocks and it'll be her own damned fault. She's in love and is being reassigned soon. Spies shouldn't fall in love."

Her tone of voice sent a shiver down Jenny's spine. The voice of experience.

Later that night
Westwood Condominium Complex

"Please, don't tease me. I want you, baby, and from bulge in your jeans, you want me, too."

"Carina, it's just too soon. I told you I don't do casual sex and it's what I meant. I…I just don't know how I feel about you to take that big a step. I'm sorry I let things go this far tonight but you're such a wonderful…"

"Stop. Just stop. I respect how you feel but this is just…" She stopped to catch her breath. "I love you, OK? I didn't mean for this to happen. I should know better, really, I should, but you just got past the walls and I'm toast. You're the nicest guy I've ever met and…"

She stopped when she saw the look on his face and then started gathering up her scattered clothes.

"It's not going to happen with us, is it? You're too damned scared to make an emotional commitment, aren't you? How long has it been since she tore your heart out, honey? Months? Years?"

She was softly crying, sorry she ever brought it up because she knew he'd break it off with her. He'd run and hide, licking old wounds, happy to have avoided new ones.

"Two years. Two years, five months and twenty-seven days, to be exact. We were engaged and she got involved with my best friend. End of story, Carina. I'll walk you to your car."

CIA Substation
Interrogation Suites

It had been a week since the last Happy Hour and Jenny was pleased with how well she was adapting to life in LA and the substation. She'd pulled prisoner escort duty once and had observed Agent Carina Miller interrogating several narco-terrorists, that was the new handle for drug runners and distributors: narco-terrorists. Apparently it played better in the newspapers.

She was very impressed with how easily Agent Miller had eased past all their macho crap and begun digging out bits and pieces of information from the younger prisoners. She'd used her clothing and her posture to present a picture of a befuddled new agent who was nervous on her first interrogation. Worked every time until the oldest man just spit in her face.

Jenny was good with knives but Carina Miller was a Grand Master. After wiping the spit from her face she'd pulled a small thin knife from her sleeve and inserted it into the thug's nostril and cut open his nose.

A few more slices and twenty minutes later, she had all the information she needed. Other agents would transcribe the interrogation tapes and disseminate the information through the DEA and CIA systems.

Carina walked out of the interrogation 'suite' and looked at a shaken Jenny Burton and smiled sadly. "Sometimes you have to forget you're human. Heartache helps. And this," gesturing toward the interrogation room, "helps the heartache. Kind of a win-win situation."

Jenny didn't say anything, just scooped up her notes and pen and pushed out the door ahead of Agent Miller, trying not to let the other agent see the horror and disgust on her face. She didn't think she'd ever understand the intelligence business.

Two Weeks Later

Jenny was a few minutes late for the Happy Hour get-together but didn't think it would matter much. She found herself listening and evaluating more than participating and more than once someone, usually C-Cups, had asked her for her opinion or input. She usually said as little as was required to satisfy the 'participation' requirements.

Everyone was in place except Agent Carina Miller. Jenny eyed her chair and inclined her head towards Alex Forrest who simply mouthed 'gone'. So it was with this duty station. Here today, gone tomorrow. She wondered when her 'tomorrow' would ever come.

Conversation honed in on Miller and her attitude and her lack of social skills in at least saying goodbye to her friends. Alex snorted her drink and started coughing and Jenny handed her the napkin from under her drink.

"Thanks, Jenn. I can't believe you people expected her to say anything at all. It's the way it is around here and you newbies should have realized it by now. We're 'acquaintances' not 'friends'. Agents don't make friends or have real relationships. We're all of us just temporary help, nothing more. Get it through your heads. We aren't really here. The civilians we interface with aren't really here either. Neither of us exist together, or at least not for long. They have their existence and we have ours."

"Well, I heard she was really busted up about her breakup with the Hunk." C-Cups was not above dumping on a missing colleague. "Jenny, your classes started last week. What do you think of him? Is he gay? Or 'defective'?"

The way she said 'defective' made a couple of the others giggle and roll their eyes but a few looked down at their drinks or their watches or the clock behind the bar, unwilling to share their disdain and mockery.

"I don't have an opinion. He talked for 10 minutes and then popped a tape of a paraplegic with speech aphasia in the VCR and lectured on the case and background. Tomorrow night's a 'special' class in his lab. I'm reserving judgment."

Actually she did care. She figured she'd just be putting in her time as required by her assignment. His first lecture had caught her off-guard, surprising her by piquing her interest in a subject she used as a cover. She understood what Agent Miller had meant when she talked about 'passion'. His eyes grew more alive and his stance and gestures more animated as he warmed to his subject. She'd even asked questions as had most of the other students.

She was intrigued by the man. He seemed like such a contradiction in terms. He was an electrical engineer working in 'biomedical engineering'. She'd expected a geek with thick glasses and pens stashed in a pocket protector. She hadn't expected a tall man with a winning smile who dressed well and spoke with enthusiasm about his subject. Carina had been right. The man definitely was not gay. He'd 'scanned' her body, looked into her eyes and smiled shyly after they'd collided in the corridor outside the classroom.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking. My mind was a thousand miles away." He'd bent down to help her pick up her notebook and purse that had spilled out of her arms and they'd collided again, her forehead hitting his nose hard enough that it started to bleed.

"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry. Here, let me…" She'd picked up the purse-sized Kleenex packet from the junk scattered on the floor and was going to try and stop the bleeding but he just laughed, took the tissue from her and helped her up.

"No, I think we've done enough damage to one another. You're going to be late for class and the instructor is an ass about tardies. Don't want you getting into trouble the first day." He turned and walked down the corridor to the men's room.

She hurried in and took a seat down near the front of the stadium-style classroom. She looked at the clock and saw she'd just made it. He was right about one thing. She didn't want to draw attention to herself.

It was three minutes after seven and the class was growing antsy. The instructor was late and that was a first. The girl next to her told her that he'd normally show up a minute or two early and start exactly on time. She smiled at Jenny, introduced herself and went on.

"This is the third class of his I'm taking. He's really a great teacher and not bad on the eyes, either. You'd never know from looking at him that he'd been in a horrible accident and almost died, would you?"

"I don't know. I've never seen him. This is the only class I have to take…for certification." She leaned back and took out her notebook, trying to discourage her new 'friend'.

"Well, let me just tell you…" but she never finished her sentence.

"Sorry I'm late but I had an emergency to deal with. I'm getting clumsy in my old age." There was blood on his shirt and she felt a pang of guilt but just then they locked eyes and he smiled and she felt her face redden in a blush. She'd felt an instance of 'connection' before he'd turned and surveyed the rest of the class.

"I walked into a door and I'm a slow clotter. Now, I'm Charles Bartowski and we're going to start this lecture series with…"

Nik's Notes: Let me know if you all want to read more. If not I can just delete it and there's no one the wiser.

NikB