Disclaimer: I don't own Community, yo.
The Wrong Side of 35
Jeff sunk under the water, letting it fill his ears, enjoying the hum and the way the sounds around him faded into unintelligible murmurs.
He'd been trying to hide all day, to no avail. Everywhere he went, someone from the study group was there—nagging, reminding, forcing him to acknowledge the truth.
The truth being his birthday.
His 36th birthday.
Jeff had never claimed not to be vain—it was something he took pride in. But now he was on the wrong side of 35 and all he wanted was to be left alone to wallow in self pity.
But, as it turned out, being alone wasn't exactly on the docket, if his friends had anything to do with it.
He'd first taken up solace in the far reaches of the library, but Britta had found him quickly and immediately started guilt-tripping him into joining them for post-class celebrations at Casa Del Trobed. He'd made a hasty exit, ignoring the way she called after him in the irritating tone she used to make him feel bad.
He moved then to the cafeteria, but was quickly joined by Troy and Abed, who were just stoked about the awesome party they were going to have to celebrate Jeff's birthday, and couldn't wait to go home and set up.
After that, he went to the bio lab, and was flanked immediately by Shirley.
Then to the men's bathroom, where Pierce had naturally taken up residence.
He considered the storage room that he liked to hide in, but he had a feeling Annie would be there. He could shut down everyone else, but Annie had always had some sort of evil power over him. He couldn't say no if he tried.
So he came here—to Borshort Hall, where he pulled on a rented bathing suit (a service Dean Pelton had initiated after a series of skinny-dipping offenses), and jumped into the swimming pool to clear his mind with a few laps.
It was working, too. No one would think to look for him here, and there was something calming about swimming. He could ignore all of the things going on and just glide through the water. He enjoyed the way it made his heart pound just a little faster and his muscles strain in an unfamiliar way.
It didn't hurt that the few ladies who were in here all seemed to be quite pleased with the eye candy... of course, most of those women were over 75.
Jeff finished a few laps and let himself sink under the water for a few seconds, enjoying the way it made the influences of the outside world disappear. He didn't really want to resurface, so he waited until his lungs were burning to seek oxygen once more.
He surfaced and caught his breath, then went for another lap.
When he made his way back, he saw a pair of pale white legs dangling in the water next to where he landed against the side of the pool. He followed the line of the legs up to where a towel-clad Annie was sitting , waiting for him to notice her with a small smile on her face.
Damn it.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, using a hand to wipe some water off his face and push back his hair. Annie gestured to the old ladies on the other side of the pool.
"I have spies on the synchronized swimming team." Jeff scowled at the group.
"Traitors," he murmured. Annie nudged his arm with her foot.
"You've been hiding from us."
"That's an astute observation," he huffed, having little patience for even his favourite friend at the moment.
"Because...?" Jeff sighed deeply.
"Because I don't want to hear anything else about my birthday." Annie's brow furrowed.
"I don't understand. You had fun last year."
"I guess so. I just don't want to do it this year, so if you could just pass that along to everyone and get them to stop stalking me, that'd be great." Jeff kicked off the wall, pushing himself out a few feet so he was treading water.
Annie pulled her feet from the water and stood up. For a moment, Jeff thought he'd been successful.
He really should have known better.
Annie unwrapped the towel, revealing a small red bikini underneath. Jeff's treading became frenzied for a moment when he forgot he was floating in ten feet of water.
"What are you doing?" he asked, sputtering out some water that had dipped into his mouth. Annie sat back down and eased herself into the water. Jeff watched, entranced, as she dipped her head backward, wetting her hair. Somehow she looked even better with wet hair slicked to her head—it made Jeff think of other ways he could get her wet like that... perhaps a shared shower, or skinny dipping on a beach... he was thankful the pool water was relatively cold.
"I have a proposition for you," she said, swimming over to where he was. For a moment he thought she was going to grab onto him, use him for her own floatation, which would have made it very difficult for him to maintain a sense of decorum with his young, beautiful, wet friend.
Instead she stopped about a foot away, and began to tread with more ease than Jeff could feign.
"What's that?" he asked, attempting to seem unaffected by her proximity. She glanced down to the other side of the pool.
"We each do three laps—if I finish first, you come to my place for our party, and at least pretend to enjoy yourself."
"And if I finish first?" he mentally cringed at his choice of language.
"If you win, you get to go home and bask in your loneliness and misery, while the rest of us have a party celebrating you, without you." Jeff considered his options.
He thought he could probably beat her. She might be determined, but Jeff was an athlete through and through.
"Deal." He pulled a wet hand out of the water for a shake. Annie met it with her own and the two solidified their agreement before swimming back to the pool wall.
"Okay," Annie said, preparing herself. "On your mark—get set—Go!"
The two pushed off the wall, and were off. Jeff got a good lead as a result of a harder push, but once he was underwater splashing his way to the other side, he stopped paying attention to Annie, determined to win his night of solitude.
The first and second lap went quickly, but by the third his lungs and muscles began to protest. On his last return lap, he had to pull out the big guns just to put in a good showing.
It didn't matter—there was no way she could beat him anyway.
When he surfaced, he took a moment to breath and clear the water from his eyes before readjusting to his surroundings, finding a pleased looking Annie staring back at him.
"I win," she said with a smirk. Jeff frowned.
"Not possible."
"Oh, it's possible baby. I beat you by a good fifteen seconds. Just ask Leonard." She gestured toward the old man a ways away in the pool.
"Loser!" Leonard shouted.
"Shut up, Leonard. I know all about your Michael Bolton collection!"
"Busted!" the old man replied, swimming away. Annie giggled.
"Leonard is hardly a reliable witness," Jeff complained, feeling more than a little embarrassed that he'd been beaten by a girl. Annie grinned.
"Sorry Jeff. The deal stands—tonight, you're all mine," she gloated. Jeff rolled his eyes, but fought not to smirk. He knew what she meant, but the woman shouldn't be able to say stuff like that when she's soaked and wearing a tiny red bikini.
"Oh yea, and what are you going to do to me?" He expected her to blush at the insinuation, but instead she just offered him a slightly sad look.
"Jeff?"
"What?"
"What's wrong?" Jeff let out a long breath, realizing that if he didn't at least partially confide in his friend, they'd both walk away feeling like crap.
"It's just...I woke up this morning and realized that I am a 36 year old man, and I'm in community college," he started. "I had a career, but I blew it, and now I'm where I should have been fifteen years ago. I mean, Jesus, if that's not failure, I don't know what is." Annie frowned.
"Jeff, look around," she instructed. He kept his eyes on her. "Everyone here is here because of some kind of mistake. Britta spent most of her live blowing off all legitimate responsibilities; Shirley placed all of her bets on a man who cheated and left her to fend for herself and her kids; Troy could have been playing college football, but he let himself get freaked out; Abed has dreams of being a Hollywood film director, but it's more likely that he'll be selling falafel for the rest of his life; Pierce... well... is Pierce; and I... geez, Jeff. I got hooked on pills, left high school halfway through senior year to spend time in rehab, and ended up here when my application to Dartmouth got rejected.
"You want to talk about mistakes? Failures? We all have them. But Greendale doesn't symbolize failure—it symbolizes an opportunity to make up for those failures and start fresh. We prepare for glory by failing until we don't."
Jeff sat stunned for a moment, then responded, "That was oddly poignant."
"Yea, well, I may have stolen the glory line from Craig Ferguson—but the rest was all me, I swear." Jeff laughed, somehow feeling a little bit better.
"Is this why you were elected to come talk to me here? Because the rest of them knew you'd find a way to win?" Annie smiled, but shook her head.
"They don't know I'm here. I didn't want them to overwhelm you." Jeff offered a half-smile and pulled himself to where she was against the wall, wrapping the arm that wasn't anchoring him to the wall around her and pulling her in for a hug.
"You're my best friend—you know that?" He felt Annie wrap both of her arms around his neck and pull him even closer, their legs becoming tangled beneath the water. He felt himself become short of breath at the feel of her body and skin touching his.
Annie pulled her head away enough so she could see him, but still held on tight to him.
"You're mine too. Which is why I want your birthday to be special." Jeff smiled and took an opportunity to just look at the beautiful woman in his arms.
"Just kiss already!" came a voice from across the pool. Annie turned in that direction.
"Shut up, Myrtle. I know all about your online gambling!" The old woman frowned and swam away. Annie turned back to Jeff a little awkwardly.
"You got a thing against Myrtle?" Jeff asked with a slight grin. Annie laughed, while shaking her head.
"Shut up, Jeff." With that, she leaned in and claimed his lips. Jeff happily responded, knowing that if she hadn't done so soon, he would have.
Jeff's 36th birthday ended up being pretty damn good for him. He splurged and ate two pieces of cake, he beat Abed in Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit, and, to cap off a great party, he got the girl. Jeff had a feeling 36 was going to blow 35 out of the water.
End
Fluff makes me happy. Oh, and the line "Prepare for glory by failing until you don't," is a quote from Craig Ferguson's autobiography, American on Purpose.
Fluff makes me happy.