Andrea Jean

by Navygirl

A.J. looks back on the path that lead to Harm and Mac making a committment

Title:  A Twinkle
Author: Navygirl

Email:  butlerdebbie@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Classification: Harm/Mac

Spoilers:  Capitol Crime.  Shortly after "Head to Toe."  Note, I've taken a liberty here: Gunny is still in the office.

Summary:  Eventually things work out for themselves, when they're meant to. 

Disclaimers: All characters of JAG belong to Donald Bellasarius and Bellasarius Productions; no copyright infringement intended.

1000 ET
May 18
St. Cyril's Catholic Church

Falls Church, VA

The Admiral held the baby carefully.  "Not much different from a loaded grenade," he said to himself, as the priest poured a dabble of water over the child's forehead, producing a shrill sound from the squirming infant.  "Great, makes noise too," he thought, trying to keep control of the situation, knowing the mother and father were anxiously standing back, wanting to grab their precious little girl as soon as possible.   And, as A.J. pulled his goddaughter close to his uniformed chest, Andrea Jean, age one month, seemed to quiet, much to his relief. 

He let out a sigh, as did the child, and turned to smile at the cluster of people in the church, hearing a chuckle from the crowd.

As the priest began to speak, A.J. allowed his mind to wander back to the curious history that had lead up to this day.  Apparently 'gestation' for this little one had started nearly five years earlier, "When you were just a twinkle in your father's eye," he thought.  So many times, it seemed he would never see a day like this for his friends, his officers.  Theirs' had been a rocky road. And, had he known five years ago, what they had promised each other to bring this child about, well, disciplinary action would have been needed, but fortunately, they kept their little promise a secret, until he did eventually get an inkling that something like this had been "on their minds."  He chuckled at the memory.

Certain facts were brought to his attention by a rather stiff Gunnery Sergeant, but the bulk of what he knew he had pieced together from various sources over time.  Some time after the Commander's dip in the ocean, the farewell voyage of the Australian, Brumby, and the subsequent breakup between Harm and the blonde (what was her name?), apparently the Lt. Colonel had decided to try to talk with Cmdr. Sturgis about Cmdr. Rabb.  From what he had been told, it happened like this.

0715 ET
December 1
JAG HQ

Falls Church, VA

Mac had scheduled an early morning meeting with Sturgis in the library, before the rest of the staff arrived for the day, a bright, sunny December day.  She launched into the discussion the moment he sat down.

"Sturgis, do you remember when we had our discussion about, um Harm, and, I made my little unintended pronouncement?" Mac said, trying to keep her voice as low as possible, but convinced that no one else was in the library at this early hour, wanting to get her thoughts out on the table while she had Sturgis to herself with no prying eyes or ears in the vicinity. 

"Yes, that you were in love with him.  Haven't forgotten that," he said, trying to keep a straight face in front of the uncomfortable Marine.

Mac went on, "Well, I probably shouldn't have said anything, it just slipped out, and I've been wanting to discuss it with you ever since, to clarify. It's been worrying me.  At the time I made the, um, statement, I had been dwelling on a promise Harm and I made to each other at little A.J.'s christening, and, I was thinking about that as I spoke to you, and I guess those words just slipped out."

"I think you revealed the truth, Mac," Sturgis said, sipping from his coffee mug and watching the woman squirm in front of him.  This is going to be an interesting little charade, he thought. "And those words were certainly loaded ones. But, wait a moment, what promise?" 

"Oh, well that is relevant isn't it?  No one else knows about it, so, what I am about to reveal to you is with the understanding that it will go no further."

"Of course, Colonel.  Proceed, "Sturgis said, stepelling his fingers as he listened intently for the details, barely able to contain himself.

Mac continued, "It was really just a joke, not a real promise, although Harm did say that it was and we did shake hands."  She could feel a blush rising, but forged ahead.  "We were talking about how wonderful the day had been, the christening, and sweet little A.J., and Harm said that in five years, if we weren't committed to other people, we should go halves on a baby, a funny way to put it, you know.  I didn't know what to say, so I agreed in order to, you know, go along.  So, when you asked me about what was going on between the Commander and myself, well, I was thinking about that and how Harm brought it up again at my engagement party and that's why I slipped up…"

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Sturgis said. "Wait a minute, what did he say at your engagement party? That seems an odd time to bring up such a thing."  He tried to picture the conversation.  "I hope you weren't standing at the punch bowl when this discussion took place."

"No, no, no.  We were outside on the porch.  The party was at the Admiral's house, and we went outside to wait for Renee and to discuss a case."

"You were discussing a case at your engagement party?  And that lead to a discussion about a promise to have a baby?  Makes perfect sense to me."  He tried not to chuckle.  This was becoming better and better by the minute.  And to think he had expected it to be a dull day.

"Would you please stop mocking me and let me explain."  Mac was frustrated.  The conversation was not going as she had rehearsed it.  She was trying to get Sturgis to discount her admission.  It had seemed like such a prudent plan when she thought of it at 3:02 am this morning.  Perhaps it was getting up so early that now made forming thoughts so difficult.  Why hadn't the coffee kicked in?

"He just said there were some years left to run on our "deal" and I told him the contract was null and void.  But, having little faith in the possibility of my marriage to Brumby lasting, he more or less said that the door was still open…"

"I get the picture, I think.  And, this led to your admission when we were talking…"

"That's just it, Sturgis, it was hardly an admission.  I was actually thinking at the time about the promise and that it was so silly because for a baby to be brought into the world there needed to be love, real love between the two people involved and that a promise like that was such a silly thing.  I had wanted to say that we were friends who loved each other but were not in love with each other and…"

"Mac, quit while you are ahead.  You aren't fooling me," Sturgis said.  "I know how you feel about Harm, and, frankly, I suspect he may have similar feelings for you.  So, if you want to have his baby some day…"

"Sturgis!  You are putting words in my mouth, I never said that."  She couldn't believe it. Was he even listening or just waiting to drop a punch line?

"Well, whatever, Mac, don't worry about it so much, these things have a way of working themselves out."

"Sure, like they have so far," she said, standing up, ready to leave.  She followed him to the door.

"Mac, I mean it, don't worry so much.  If you love the guy, just let it be.  Have you picked out any baby names yet?"

She slugged his shoulder hard for that one.  They let the door close behind them as they walked out into the hallway.  Neither heard the book Lt. Lauren Singer dropped in the back of the library as her hand went quickly to her mouth, or saw her quietly sneak out the other door, making haste to find Lt. Cmdr. Mattoni.

Gunnery Sgt. Galindez, however, did see Singer hustling over to Mattoni and perked up, knowing that Singer often had foul play in mind when she moved just that way, at just that pace, with just that set to her shoulders. "She's up to something," he thought and slipped over to a file cabinet to listen.  He would not admit to eavesdropping, he was gathering evidence.

"And then the Colonel said she wants to have his baby…" It was close enough to what she had overheard, and spinning it this way made it so much more interesting.

"Wait a minute, the Colonel wants to have whose baby? Cmdr. Sturigs?"  Mattoni was a little irritated at the lieutenant, but certainly curious.  He chose to ignore the fact that this was a junior officer speaking about senior officers and that he, as her superior, should admonish her rather than encourage her.  He wanted to hear all of this, but something wasn't making sense.

"No, no. She wants to have Cmdr. Rabb's baby.  She was discussing it with Cmdr. Sturgis. I walked into the library as they were talking about it."

"And you think that's news?" Mattoni chuckled, raising an eyebrow at the woman.   "Have you seen the way they act together, I mean, it's about time one of them finally, well, admitted to something more than friendship and all that," Mattoni said, dismissing her, but Singer would not leave his side.

"You're not surprised?"

"Oh, heck no. You haven't been here that long, you don't know. I guess you could say they've been playing with the idea of something for years, I've been watching this show since the day she arrived.  This is just one more piece of the puzzle, if that. But why would she be saying this to Commander Sturgis?"

Gunny couldn't help but roll his eyes. They were gossiping about the Commander and the Colonel.  He didn't like it one bit, and he was going to have to consider what action to take.  Considering that they were officers and he was enlisted, well that presented a problem.  On the other hand, the Admiral would be very interested in this business and would want to put a stop to such idle tomfoolery immediately. 

Gunny squared his shoulders as he approached Tiner's desk.  "Tiner, I need to speak with the Admiral."  He knew what he had to do.  He had to watch out for the Colonel and for Cmdr. Rabb.  And he didn't believe a word of it.   He knew the cut of Singer's cloth.  No doubt this was pure fabrication.

1010 ET
May 18
St. Cyril's Catholic Church

Falls Church, VA

The Admiral heard the baby coo, and his attention was brought back to the proceedings underway in the church.  He looked down at the infant briefly.  Well, there was a ring of truth to what she had to say, wasn't there, he thought to himself.  Funny how Lt. Singer's little gossip session had lead to this.

Confidence filled him as the child cooed again.  Why, holding this baby wasn't much more stressful than dealing with SecNav.

He saw the Rabbs looking at each other and could see the joy evident on their faces.  How long had it taken them to finally get it right?  He knew the day they met, in the Rose Garden, that there was a little spark and had even cautioned them about it.  But, they seemed to become friends shortly after Rabb fired off the machine gun in the courtroom, maybe that had been just to impress the Colonel.  He almost chuckled at the memory. 

But, really, it all started moving in the right direction soon after Gunny came to him about the gossip.  He could clearly remember everything that came after it, and what he didn't see with his own eyes, he had pieced together from others who could not contain the news. For the gossip led to concrete news, of a different sort, shortly thereafter.

It had been a rather cold day, he recalled, when Gunny came in to reveal the works of Lt. Singer…

0845 ET
December 1
JAG HQ
Falls Church, VA

"Send him in Tiner," the Admiral said, and he looked up as Gunny opened the door and came to attention in front of his desk.  "At ease, Gunny, what's up?"

"Sir, I was uncertain about bringing this to you, but after careful consideration, I felt I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't inform you that there is a problem in the office."

The Admiral looked over the top of his reading specs.  "Just what kind of problem are we talking about?"

"Sir, I have heard gossip by a junior officer about superior officers, sir."  Gunny said, with military precision, the only way he could deliver this kind of information.

"Go on."  Intriguing, he thought.  Could be a problem, depending on the particulars. "First, who was spreading this gossip?"

"Lt. Singer, sir." 

"No surprise there, go ahead," the Admiral said as he shook his head.

"She was talking with Cmdr. Matonni, sir. About Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb."

A.J. didn't want to show real interest, but he was certainly looking forward to hearing more.  "And, what was she saying, Gunny?"

"Sir, she said she overhead the Colonel saying to Cmdr. Sturgis that she wants to have Cmdr. Rabb's baby, sir."  Gunny said as rapidly and as crisply as possible. 

A.J. steeled himself to prevent his features or movements from betraying his amusement at this tidbit.  This could be tricky.

"She told Cmdr. Sturgis that…never mind. I think I get the picture. Thank you, Gunny.  I'll handle this.  If you hear this floating around the office, well, put a stop to it and report it to me. Dismissed."

"Yes sir," Gunny said and turned sharply.

"And Gunny, send in Cmdr. Sturgis please."

"Yes sir," Gunny said as he walked out the door, closing it behind him.  He did not hear the chuckle that came from the Admiral after he left, or see the grin that crossed his face.  What in the world would he do with this little dilemma?  They didn't teach gossip control when he was in Seal training.  Would Mac really say anything like that?  Highly unlikely, he thought.  "Probably said that the Commander was being a baby about something," he said out loud, tossing his reading glasses on the desk and leaning back in his chair.  Thinking further about it, he picked up the phone and contacted Galindez.  "Gunny, forget about sending in Sturgis.  I'll take care of this."  He rose from his chair, straightened his jacket and strolled out into the office.  If he worked it right, he wouldn't have to do a thing, just make his presence known.

Lt. Sims looked up as the Admiral walked into the bullpen, and the words froze in her mouth as she backed away from her husband's side.  Something about the look on the Admiral's face made her think again about discussing the Colonel and the Commander with her husband, or anyone, in the bullpen.  Bud didn't notice his wife or her hasty departure, he was engrossed in a computer problem.

In the coffee shop, Lt. Singer poured her fifth cup of coffee.  The caffeine had really kicked in, and she was eager to talk to Cmdr. Rabb about what she had heard in the library.  What better place to take this little bit of information than right to the Commander?  It would be an effective way to take the Colonel down a notch with her hero.  But, as she stirred her coffee, she formulated a better plan.  Perhaps there was a more effective way to get the information to the Commander.  Perhaps if she planted the right seed with either Tiner or Roberts, she could accomplish the same thing without being on the front line?  She settled on Roberts, as he seemed unable to keep a lid on anything.  She was delighted when Bud walked into the break room and gave her a cheery hello, but she turned a deaf ear as he started telling her about some computer problem he'd just rectified with Gunny's help.

"Bud, did you hear the latest?"  She said, looking around to be certain they were alone, not that it mattered, but she wanted him to think that it did.

"I don't think so, ma'am."  He said as he poured sugar into his coffee. "What about?"

She told him and watched as he nearly dropped his coffee cup.  "Are you sure that's what you heard, ma'am?"

"Yes, Bud, I'm sure."

"Well, ma'am, I really don't think we should be talking about the Colonel and the Commander…I mean it is gossip…I mean…"

"Bud, I heard it with my own ears, the Colonel and Cmrd. Sturgis were talking about how she wants to…" Singer abruptly stopped speaking as she saw the Gunnery Sergeant approaching them. "Well, you get the picture," she said and abruptly left the room, nearly knocking the cup from Bud's hands.

Bud carried his coffee cup with him to Cmdr. Rabb's office, readying himself to discuss  their latest case, still puzzling over what he had heard.  It didn't make any sense.  Why would the Colonel be discussing having a baby, Cmdr. Rabb's baby, with Cmdr. Sturgis?  He needed to discuss this with Harriet.  Or maybe he should just tell Cmrd. Rabb.

"Sir, um, I think I need to tell you about something I just heard, sir," Bud said, venturing forth as he watched the tall Commander settle in at his desk. "It could be important, I don't know.  It's kind of tricky."

"Tricky is my middle name, Bud," the Commander joked. "Out with it.  Don't make me drag it out of you."  He was in a good mood, and hoped whatever Bud had heard was something amusing.

"Sir, Lt. Singer apparently overhead Colonel Mackenzie talking in the library this morning. Sir, why would the Colonel be talking to Cmdr. Sturgis about having your baby, or wanting to have your baby, or for that matter about a baby or babies in any context at all…" He was confused and couldn't find an end to the question.  He didn't really notice the astonished look on the Commander's face.

"Lt. Singer told you she overhead Mac talking to Sturgis about having a baby? A baby with me?"  Harm said, still in shock.  The promise?  Was this about their deal?  It had to be, what else could it be?  But why would Mac discuss it with Sturgis, or with anyone.  Hell, they had only discussed it twice.

"Was the word 'deal' mentioned, Bud, or 'promise' anything like that?"

"Sir?"  Now Bud was puzzled.  "No sir."

"Not about a deal then huh?" Harm said, sitting back, unaware how puzzled Lt. Roberts was about his reaction.

"Sir I guess, from what I understand, she said something about wanting to have your baby.  Of course, maybe things got confused. I'm sure that's all it is, sir. Maybe she said you were being a baby.  Oh, excuse me sir, that's not what I meant.  What I meant was..."

"Oh, I'm sure what Singer said is correct, Bud," Harm said then realizing what he had admitted he quickly backpedaled.  "Hey, I'm a catch."  He hoped that making a joke out of it might diffuse the entire matter.

"Yes, sir, right sir, of course sir."  What was the proper response to this type of thing? Bud wondered.

"Just pulling your leg, Bud," he said to calm the befuddled lieutenant.  "Look, I think Lt. Singer is just trying to stir something up to cause problems for the Colonel.  Bud, I think you need to keep what you've heard to yourself."

Harm was formulating his own plan, and it involved the possibility of an unusual discussion with the Colonel as soon as he could figure out where she was.  "Is Col. Mackenzie in court this morning?"

"No sir,  I think I saw her walk into her office about five minutes ago, sir."

"Do you mind if we postpone our meeting about this case until later, Bud?  I think I need to talk to the Colonel, about something."  Harm said, standing up at the desk as he considered how to discuss this with his favorite Marine.

"Certainly sir," Bud said and left the office for his own, watching over his shoulder as the Commander strolled over to the Colonel's office and stood inside the doorway with arms crossed.  Close the door behind you, sir, Bud thought.

Mac looked up at the familiar figure gracing her doorway.  He seems to have a particularly mischievous glint in his eyes, heck they're almost twinkling, she thought.  What could this be about?  Did someone offer him a chance to fly an F-14 from Andrews to Topeka escorting Air Force One?   With the look on his face she was ready to think that maybe he was going to *fly* Air Force One, this time.  Good luck, Mr. President, you'll need it.

"What's up, Harm?  And, please don't say Tomcats."

"Ha, ha, Mac, very funny."

"Well you look like someone just handed you a winning lottery ticket, flyboy."

"Na, Mac.  More like a box of cigars."  He chuckelled to himself, she'll never get that one. 

"Cigars?"  Was this a trip to Cuba then? What on Earth had him so cheerful?  His eyes were just sparkling, and his grin was as wide his broad shoulders.

Pausing as he stood there, she was struck again by how nice he looked in uniform. She admonished herself, stop thinking about those shoulders, those eye, that man, Marine.

"So, Mac, we need to go out to dinner tonight, I think," Harm said, deciding that dinner plans could be a good place to start this discussion. 

"Dinner?"  He must be up to something, she decided quickly.  Her eyes followed him as he walked over and picked up the framed picture of the three of them at baby A.J.'s christening.  He looked at it and smiled, then put it back and walked over to the window.

"Yeah, it's a lovely day, and I'd just like to take you to dinner.  We need to talk about something."

"Okay, flyboy.  Pick me up at 1900.''  She paused and looked at him again.  "What is this about, Harm?"  He had left the window and taken a seat in front of her desk. Obviously he had more to discuss.

"Ah, I just wanted you to accept my invitation before I dropped a little, um, bombshell, Mac.  You might want to consider taking cover, Marine.  Word has leaked out about our promise." 

There was the twinkle in those hazel eyes again, she thought. "Our promise? What promise?"  She didn't make the connection immediately.

He softly mouthed the words.  "Halves on a…"

"Oh my god." She didn't mean to exclaim, but it was such a shock.  She flashed on the discussion with Sturgis in the library.  Had he betrayed her trust, had he really done that to her?  She refused to believe it.

"How, I mean, how?" She could barely speak.

"Maybe we need to discuss it at dinner, Mac, if you are still willing to go."  He had dropped the mischief and was trying to be nice, hiding his amusement as he saw the look on her face.  She was clearly upset.

He watched her, patiently, as she tried to pull her thoughts into focus. He finally asked, "Did you say something to anyone, something another person might have overhead?"

She gasped.  That had to be what happened. Someone had been in the library after all.  "Oh, God Harm.  I think I know what started all of this."

"Well, let me in on it, Mac.  I mean, my name is being tossed about in all this too, now."  He could barely contain his amusement.

"I'm sure it worries the hell out of you, too," she said, chastizing him a little.  "Oh, God, this is awful.  Just what is being said?"

"Well, why don't you tell me what it is that you said, and to whom, and I'll fill you in on the scuttlebutt after that?"  He couldn't contain his own mischief. "Quid pro quo."

She cringed.  If she told him what she said, she would have to explain it all, and she certainly didn't want to do that here in the office, if at all.  "I'll tell you what, if I promise to reveal everything tonight at dinner, will you at least tell me who is spreading this, this…"

"This?"

"Harm, spill it."  She was exasperated, and he wasn't helping things.

"Well, I'll let you guess, but don't even think it's over, it's too easy."

She felt her stomach turn. "Singer?" The woman had no scruples.

"That was a tough one, huh?"  He leaned back in the chair, trying to contain his amusement in light of her obvious discomfort.  "She said that you were talking to Sturgis about how very much you want to have my baby."  He tried, in vane, to not sound too cocky about it.

"Oh, my God."  She felt sick.  She looked at the floor and then, as she realized the delight she had heard in Harm's voice, she looked up at him sharply. 

Harm began waiving his hands in the air, "I am not your target, Mac." 

Wading up a piece of paper in her hands, she clenched at the paper, thinking about Singer and about Harm's funny little grin.

"Yeah, but you're enjoying this, aren't you?"  She said and rifled off the  paper wad in his general direction.

"Like I said, I'm not your target, marine," he said, deftly batting the paper wad away.

Mac tried to compose her thoughts and took a deep breath. She had to take control back, and she had to start with herself.  Ignoring his obvious glee, she tried to  steer the conversation to tactics, "So, what are we going to do about this?" 

"We?" he said, having nothing of her serious take on the matter now. "Well, for my part, I wouldn't want the whole staff to be disappointed.  If they are thinking about the two of us having a baby, and, since we have actually already discussed it, I mean, I'm not going to let them down, Mac, what about you?"  He could contain his amusement no longer, the chuckle just slipped out.

"Red light Commander."  She said, color rising to her cheeks. The nerve of the man. "You know that was said, well, in jest."

"Initially perhaps," he spread out his hands as if arguing his case.

"Harm!" She exclaimed, tiring of his silliness.

"Don't let it bother you so much, Mac. I think if you just act like you can't stand me for a few days, it'll all die down and we can forget about it."

"That would really take acting, now wouldn't it?" 

"Either that or we can always play along and leave them wondering. Personally, I think that would be a lot of fun, but if it bothers you, say the word."

She didn't respond.

"Okay then," he said, quickly, not really wanting her to have time to speak.  He let out another chuckle as he crossed to the door.  Opening it and lifting his voice a little, he turned back to smile at her, "So, I'll pick you up at 1900 for dinner, then."  Sure that almost everyone in the bullpen had heard him, he smiled with clear delight as he sauntered from her office, noting as heads dropped suddenly. There was a decided hush in the bullpen as he strolled into his office and quietly closed the door, whistling all the way, just for effect. 

1020 ET

May 18

St. Cyril's Catholic Church

Falls Church, VA

Arms were reaching out to the Admiral for the little one, and he handed her over as the christening drew to a close and everyone began to filter out of the church.  The Rabb's stood for photos with their precious little bundle as he found a seat and waited, remembering how the Commander had told him, one night at McMurphy's after the marriage, about the fateful night, the dinner, the dance, and the exchange of thoughts that changed the history of the stormy relationship between the pair.   "No small accomplishment," A.J. thought. 

But what a pair! Once the course had been set and the die cast, they had moved along rather quickly…thanks to the prime mover, Lt. Singer, and her penchant for gossip.  They owed her, but neither would ever admit to that.

Mac was intrigued by the various expressions that crossed the Admiral's face.  She was so happy holding her little girl, standing next to her husband, and she knew the Admiral was happy for them, but clearly his mind was on a mission of some sort.  She wondered if he was thinking about how they had come to this day.  Shortly after their marriage, she had filled the Admiral in on some of the details, setting the record straight on one or two things claimed by her dear Harm and settling at least some of the gossip, which had been remarkably accurate in ways.  But she had kept to herself certain more intimate details about what transpired that fateful night.

1900 ET

December 1

City Scene Restaurant

Georgetown, VA

"Do we really want to talk about Mic tonight, Harm?" she said as she fiddled with the remnants of the meal, feeling a little uneasy still about any discussion concerning her former fiancé. 

"Well, I think we should talk about the night of your engagement party for one thing, Mac," he said, tossing his napkin onto the table.  "But, hey, dance with me first, okay?"

He stood up quickly, offering his hand to her, surprising her once again.  She looked away to hide the smile and then looked back.  "Well, okay, but I'm still mad at you."

"For what?"

"Do you have to be having so much fun over all this?"  She said.

"Hey, what people say, well, it doesn't change anything, Mac.  Don't let it bother you, alright?"  He grinned and she knew he was right.

He pulled her onto the dance floor and slipped his arms around her waist, and the possessive way he held her left her absolutely lightheaded.  This is being swept off your feet, she thought, so comfortable and at ease in his arms.  Someday, flyboy, will I have the courage to tell you what I feel?

"You know, we did talk about this little contract of our's that night on the Admiral's porch," she said, thinking again of their moments together during her engagement party.

"Oh we sure did," he said, as he pulled her slightly closer.  "You know, Mac, we're darn lucky we can even have this dance, given where you were headed that night."  She knew he meant with Mic.

"And given what happened to you shortly after that." She felt him sigh and added, "Harm, I still have nightmares about your crash."

"Really?" He pulled back slightly to look at her.  She shook her head as if trying to shake away the chilling thoughts and the fear she felt the night he nearly died, the night before she was to be married.  "Oh, God I have terrible dreams about it."

"Well, let's not think about that now," he said, smiling at her softly and holding her a little closer as his cheek brushed against her soft hair.

"And I have nightmares about marrying Mic that are just as bad," she admitted.  "I mean when I think how close I came to making yet another mistake…"

"Stop being so hard on yourself, Mac," he said softly. "I have to admit, I don't know why you even thought about marrying ole Bug… him, but perhaps you thought it was love, at the time.  Did you?"  Or is that a question I still don't have the right to ask, he wondered but did not say.

"No, I don't know what I was thinking, in fact, I wasn't thinking."  She turned her cheek to lean against his chest, closer to him, snug in his arms.  It felt so good to be this way, so close to him.  She could almost float off into the stratosphere.

"Well, we all make mistakes.  I made mine in Sydney."

She felt butterflies in her stomach, did she here this admission, was this real? Trying to find words to respond, she could only ask,   "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually, Mac, I don't want to talk about anything, I just want to hold you in my arms," he said, taking her breath right away.

2000 ET

December 1

Outside Mac's apartment

Georgetown

"Are you going to come in?" she asked shyly, feeling different somehow, almost as if she barely knew him.  The evening had been so magical, one slow dance after another, never wanting to leave the dance floor and the excuse to be so near one another.  Now, sitting in his SUV, she felt like the unsure schoolgirl.

"Of course. I mean you haven't told me what it was that you said to Sturgis," he touched the tip of her nose playfully. "Remember, you promised."

She turned to look at him, unsure about how she would explain, or how much she would tell him.  "Oh, Harm, I was explaining the promise, I'm sure you've figured that out by now.  I was certain, certain, we were alone."

He tried to imagine a reason she felt the need to explain the "contract" to Sturgis and came up with nothing.  "Mac, I'm at a loss."

Reaching over to take his hand, she looked at him closely.  "I don't know if I'm ready to tell you everything."  Then she said softly, uncertain, "Why is it so hard for us to cross this bridge?"

He looked into her warm eyes, "You mean the bridge marked eternity?"

It had not occurred to her until he said it. "Yes, I guess that is what I mean, that very bridge."  She was so afraid to talk to him about her feelings, given the events that night at the bridge in Sydney, the bridge, as they had discussed that night, where someone had painted "eternity" on New Year's Eve.  The rebuff, real or imagined, had hurt her so much, enough that she fled right into the arms of another man.

He sighed. "Mac, maybe it's finally time.  Maybe you can let go, if I can?" 

She looked at his hand and as she did, he pulled her small hand to his lips, then he pulled her closer to him, kissing her lightly on the lips before sitting back just to look at her again.

"Come on, let's go inside," she said, "We can talk."

He didn't say anything, he just slipped out of the car and hustled to open her door.  But before she could step too far away, he captured her for another gentle kiss.  "Why didn't we do this before," he chuckeled.  "Kissing, I mean."

"Well, we have once or twice," she reminded him, tapping him on the chest. 

"Well, let's make a habit of it," he said kissing her again.

As they walked, hand in hand, to the door of her apartment, she felt something new, something wonderful: Hope.  And, she knew she would have the courage to talk to him about the many misunderstandings still between them. 

As they stepped inside the door, she offered to get him a soda, but he slipped his arms around her waist.  "Stay right here, Mac, right here with me.  I don't want to wait another minute."

She turned to face him, surprised at his ardor, and the passion in his soft voice.  "I, I…"

"No, I'm going to speak now," he said.  "I'm going to say something, Mac, I have to.  That night in Sydney was probably the biggest mistake of my life and you have no idea how much I've regretted it, and any pain I've caused you.  But, believe me, I've suffered for it.  I was scared of what I felt for you Mac, that's why I said I needed time."

"There were so many misunderstandings that night, Harm," she said.

"But what it boils down to is that I wasn't ready then." He looked at her and added, "And, what I felt for you scared the hell out of me."

Touching her hair gently, he sought understanding in her eyes and found it.  "And then the night of your engagement party, it was tearing me up inside, knowing I was powerless to stop you from marrying Mic."

"I wanted you to, to stop me, I didn't know it then, not fully," she sighed and he responded by kissing her cheek.

"And I was ready to try, but I wasn't certain what you wanted, Mac, I wanted to tear Brumby apart.  I didn't want him to have you. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that you were mine, or that's what I wanted you to be.  I just didn't know how to stop you."

Relief and joy filled her. "Oh you found a way, flyboy, you made a big splash," she said, chiding him a little, trying to get him to laugh and heard a soft chuckle. 

"Well, it worked," he said and laughed again. "These things belong in the past Mac. We've survived them.  We're smarter for them, and we can't forget them.  But look where we ended up, right here, together, where we belong," he said earnestly, taking both of her hands.

"I think I may be ready to tell you about what I said to Sturgis now," she said, hoping that what she was about to say would be a revelation that led them to something more. 

"Mac, no more talking."

She looked up at him, meeting his eyes, seeing his heart there.  She met his lips with her own and felt lifted from her feet by the warmth of his touch.    

But then she pulled back slightly, "No, Harm, I have to say it, and I have to know if you feel the same way."

He smiled at her, his brightest smile. "I do feel the same way, Sarah.  I'm in love with you."

A tear slipped unbidden down her cheek.  "It's about time," she said as their lips met again.

"Yeah, and it's about time for this to," he said, lifting her from her feet. "I am not leaving tonight, I hope you know that."

"Why, squid, what makes you think I'd let you leave?"

1645 ET

December 2

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

"Squid, wake up," she said and poked him in the ribs.  "You're asleep on my arm."

He even smiles in his sleep, she noticed as he rolled a little towards her, but she was still pinned and it was cutting off the circulation.  She had to get her arm back.

Suddenly he threw his other arm across her shoulders, "Morning Mac," he said, without opening his eyes.

 "Wake up, Harm," she said,  "Or I swear, I'll kick your six."

"Mac!" He startled, lifting his head with a jerk, suddenly awake, and then he relaxed again.   "Ah, Mac," he said softly.  "And I was afraid it was all a dream."

She tugged her arm free as he seemed to fall back into a peaceful sleep.

The sunlight through the nearby window played across his face as she looked at him. Such long eyelashes, such a mischievous mouth, she thought, memorizing every dimple, ever line. As she studied him, she traced his lips with the tip of one finger, remembering the kisses of the night before, but the moment was broken by the jarring sound of the alarm clock. 

"Wha?" He was wide awake now.  She had to reach over him to quiet the alarm.  "Hey," he said as he took the opportunity to grab her around the waist.  "Come here."

"Oh, Harm, I wish we had time, but we're going to be late."  She wanted nothing more than to slip back into the passionate night, slip back into the lovemaking they had shared, but reality and an office called.

"We have 58 minutes, to get showered and out the door."

"I have to go home to change, Mac, I mean, my uniform isn't exactly here," he reminded her.  "You're going to have to cover for me with the Admiral."

"How about I had a flat tire, and you helped me?"

"Agreed, so do we have enough time…"

"Squid," she squealed and slipped back under the covers to get close to him again.

0810 ET

December 2

JAG HQ

Falls Church, VA

Harriet was the first person she saw as she raced into the bullpen from the elevator, knowing that for one of the few times in her life, she was late.  But, then she did have a cover story ready if anyone asked.  As she slipped through the bullpen, saying a good morning to everyone she passed, she noticed a few heads turned and she thought she heard at least one cough.  Was it real or her imagination?  Was it Singer's gossip or did they know.  Did it show?  Was she different?  How would they ever pull this off?

Tiner caught her as she was hanging up her coat.  "The Admiral is asking for Cmdr. Rabb ma'am.  You wouldn't know where he is, would you?"

Forgetting their story at first she started, "No, how would I? I mean why would I?"  Then she added, "Oh, I'm sorry, he helped me with a flat tire this morning and was going to drop off the flat at the gas station, I don't know what I was thinking.  Should I tell the Admiral?"

"Tell the Admiral what?" A.J. asked as he walked up behind her. 

"Good morning sir," she said, snapping to attention as did Tiner.

"At ease. So what is it I need to be told?"

"Sir, that Cmdr. Rabb will be a little late, he helped me with a flat tire this morning," she said quickly, breathlessly, hoping it sounded better than she feared.

"Noted, then Colonel.  Tell him I need to see him as soon as he get's in."  He turned to walk away, rolling his eyes in amused disbelief.  Sure, and pigs can fly, he thought. 

"Yes, sir," she said, breathing again.  She needed coffee, strong coffee. 

In the break room, she leaned against the counter, trying to get her heart to stop beating so fast, trying to feel normal, but happy in the knowledge that life had changed for her, that life had changed for them both at last. 

"Morning, ma'am," Lt. Singer said, reaching for a coffee cup, seeming to snicker as she studied the Colonel. 

"Good morning, Lieutenant," Mac said, sipping her coffee.  Whatever gossip she has been spreading, I don't care, because she has had no idea, no idea, how wonderful I feel this morning, Mac thought.  

"Lieutenant, did you have a nice evening last night?"  Mac asked, feeling a little devilish.

"Oh, nothing special ma'am.  How about your evening, ma'am?" 

"It was fabulous, Lieutenant," Mac said, taking her cup in hand and walking away. 

Gunny looked up as she passed him, "Morning ma'am," he said, noting that she was smiling.  Apparently she was not going to let a little gossip bother her, he thought, and he admired her for her strength.

Mac eased into her office and slipped into her chair, picking up a stack of envelopes, then a brief filed by the opposition in a case she had been working on for months. Within minutes, she heard the familiar deep, warm voice outside her office door, delighted that he sounded cheerful.  Just the knowledge that he was near made her heart tremble and her entire body tingle again.  It would be so difficult to concentrate today.

She was trying not to watch for him, trying to read the brief, when she heard him say, "Morning Mac."  She looked up to his sincere smile and warm eyes.  His tall frame filled her doorway.  "Got the tire over to the station, should be ready for ya later."  He gave her a funny little smile and she chuckled.

"Great, I'll have to take care of that after work then, thanks Harm."  She said, looking back at the brief, trying to act as normal as possible, but he stepped into the office, closing the door and crossing to her desk within seconds, tossing his cover on a pile of paper directly to her right.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you Commander?"

"Oh, hell no. Why do that?  That wouldn't be any fun."  He walked to the side of her desk to stand within inches of her.  "So, how'd ya sleep last night?"

"You know how I slept last night," she said grinning.

"Yeah, well, I just wanted to remind you," he said. "And, um, I'll come in here later and remind you again, alright?"

"Stop it flyboy, you're gonna get a red light."

"A red light?  You must be color blind, Mac.  I see only green, sort of a Marine green I think…"

"Ha, ha."  She said and laughed as she added, "The Admiral wants to see you, squid."

"Right, sure he does."

"He does, he was in here just a few minutes ago. Ask Tiner."

He did not believe her, but nevertheless picked up her phone.  Tiner confirmed what she had just told him.  "I'll be right there, Tiner," he said, putting the phone back.

"I'll deal with you later, Marine."

"I like it better when you say, 'my Marine,' squid."

He chuckled softly, but before he walked out the door, he added without looking at her, "You are my Marine, Mac. My Marine."  He was humming as he closed the door.

Gunny thought it strange to hear the Commander humming the Marine anthem.  A squid?

Okay, something was up, definitely.  But, he forced himself to focus on the computer screen.  Still, he noted that others in the office were starting to chat and he feared another day of gossip.

Later that morning, Mac spotted Harm as he strolled into the break room and followed, looking around the bullpen, hoping that no one would notice.  He was standing with his back to the door as she slipped up behind him, placing a hand softly on his back. 

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey, yourself, what did the Admiral say?"

"Well, he called me in to discuss my motion in limine in the Kippinger case."

"Oh, the motion that tanked," Mac said, wrinkling her face.

"Yes, that very one, Colonel," he said, knowing that it was because of Mac's own motion that his failed.

"And, did you ask him?"

"I did, I could tell he was not happy at the idea of having both of us gone at the same time, but…he said it would be acceptable."

"Then I'll have to arrange for a flight. I can't believe we are going to do this."

"Let Gunny make the arrangements," he said with a sweet smile "No second thoughts, right?"

"No, are you kidding?  I am deliriously happy," she hugged his arm, then backed away, remembering where they were.  "But really about the tickets, he might put two and two together, I mean it's a personal trip."

"I'll take care of it, then."  He said and smiled at her, but the smile quickly changed as Singer walked into the coffee room.

"You drink a lot of coffee, don't you Lieutenant?" Harm asked her, raising a brow. 

"I guess so, sir."  She was studying both of them, looking for signs.  The Colonel was standing awfully close to the Commander, she thought.  Wonder what they were saying?  She knew they had been to dinner the night before.

"Well, I'll just go take care of that matter, Mac," Harm said, wanting out of Singer's range.

"Yes, please do, Commander," she said, knowing her reply sounded too stiff which would only arouse more suspicion.  

As she walked back to her office, Mac realized that, given the gossip, they would have to discuss their relationship with the Admiral at some point.  Still it would be far easier after their trip.  So why worry about it now?   She was too happy about the week ahead.  Could life be any sweeter?

0810 ET

December 11

JAG HQ

Falls Church, VA

She came off the elevator barely able to contain her excitement, and she knew Harm, walking with her, was just as happy and looking forward to the day.  It could only be an interesting day, Mac knew, after such an amazing week.

Several heads popped up at the sight of the pair walking into the bullpen, and Singer stopped talking with Mattoni to stare at them.

Together they approached the Gunney, not hand in hand, but wanting to be.

"Gunny," Harm said, clearing his throat.  This was going to shock the Gunnery Sergeant, and probably draw immediate attention.  But, he suddenly could not speak.

"Welcome back, Colonel, Commander." Gunny said standing at attention.

"At ease, Gunny" Mac said.

"Gunny," Harm started again, but he could not seem to finish the thought. Galindez looked at him bewildered. 

"Gunny," Mac said softly.  "I am going to need a number of forms, will you be able to help me get those please?"

"Forms, yes ma'am.  What kind of forms?"

"Change of name, change of address, and I need to change my beneficiaries…" 

Galindez was puzzeled for only a second.  He quickly understood the request and broke into a big smile, but glanced around to see if anyone else had heard.  Although some eyes were on them, he didn't think anyone else could hear what the Colonel had said. 

"Uh, huh," he said, looking down at his computer screen trying to contain his glee.  "I'll get the forms for you ma'am.  Commander, I think there are some forms you will want to complete as well, and I'll get those for you."  He looked up at Rabb. "Um, permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Sure, Gunny."

"Uh, well first congratulations," he said as softly as possible. "And, um, is this supposed to be a secret? I mean we are practically whispering."

"We would like to talk to the Admiral first before telling anyone else, you understand.  We trust you to keep this on the Q.T. for a little while, until we can tell him," Harm said, suddenly finding his voice.

"Yes sir," Galindez responded.  Then he unexpectedly snapped to attention.

"Tell me what?" the Admiral asked as he stepped up behind the pair, startling the officers.  "Mac, Harm, is there something you want to tell me?"

They snapped to attention but he waved at them and added, "At ease."

"Now's as good a time as any, Harm," Mac said, taking a deep breath.

"I know you two took a little vacation to do some gambling this past week, did you win big?"  The Admiral asked, his eyes sparking with delight.  "Speak freely."

"Well, sir. I did."  Rabb said and heard the Gunny and Mac chuckle.

"I see, and how big?"

"Well, sir, we weren't planning on telling you about this in the bullpen."

"Oh, I think this is the perfect place to tell me," the Admiral said. "Proceed."

"Sir, we got married while we were in Las Vegas, uhm…" He was beaming, if not a little nervous, and he said it loud enough for everyone to hear.

The bullpen erupted in small cheers and shock.  "People!"  the Admiral exclaimed, bringing immediate quiet to the room. "That's enough."

Then he turned to the couple.  "Well.  Congratulations then Commander."  He beamed with pride at the pair.  Leaning over to speak only to Harm he added,  "And you did win big, Commander, you certainly did."

1025 ET

May 18

St. Cyril's Catholic Church

Falls Church, VA

As the Admiral watched the photographs being taken and the smiles on the faces of those in the church, he wondered:  What if Singer had not been in the library to hear Sturgis and Mac talking that morning?  What if the word had not been passed to Bud or if Bud had failed to discuss it with Rabb?   What if Rabb had failed to act? He had failed in the past with Sarah McKenzie.  What if?  But, it wasn't a time for that.  Serendipity had a way of changing lives, and this had changed many lives. 

Andrea Jean, another A.J.  Well, that was a sort of legacy, wasn't it?  He tried to picture the future for this little girl.  "Your only problem in a few years will be learning to fly a Stearman," he mused.  "Your dad will probably have you up in that plane for a ride before this day is over.  Hope I'm around in 25 years to see you get your wings," he thought as he walked out of the church into the bright morning sun.

THE END