TITLE: Why Does the Sun Shine? 1/1
AUTHOR: Hana-chan gohana_chan@lycos.com
STATUS: complete
CATEGORY: Songfic, shounen ai(a little), humour (I hope), silliness (definitely)
PAIRINGS: 2+5
RATING: G
SPOILERS: None
WARNINGS: None
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. The song is "Why Does The Sun Shine?" by They Might Be Giants. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" isn't mine either.(I love that movie)
SUMMARY: Duo and Wufei are stuck in a boring science class. Silliness ensues.
ARCHIVE: FanFiction.Net http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=81835
FEEDBACK: Please.
NOTES: I don't know if you want to call it blame or inspiration, but I dedicate this to Mel and Christy for putting Duo + Wufei + They Might Be Giants together in my head (Go DoJ)
/song lyrics/
WHY DOES THE SUN SHINE?
Wufei was bored.
Wufei had never been so bored in his entire life, and it was all Heero's fault.
Laying his head on his desk he sighed, trying not to go to sleep like the girl in the seat to his right. He and Duo were currently undercover at a boarding school but that wasn't why he was bored. Well, it was in part he supposed, but the real reason he was bored was that because, for one insane moment, he'd helped Duo play a prank on Heero. Wufei should have known better, but when it came to Duo, sometimes his brain short-circuited.
Helping to change Wing's colour scheme from red, white, and blue to lime, turquoise, and fuscha had not been one of his better decisions.
Heero had been annoyed to say the least.
The Wing pilot had been so angry, in fact, that he hadn't even bothered to threaten to kill them. He hadn't ranted, he hadn't raved, he hadn't waved his gun around saying 'oame o korouso'.
Instead he'd done the unthinkable. He'd registered the two of them in basic school courses with teenagers who were a year ~younger~ than them. It hadn't sounded too terrible at first - the five of them were essentially geniuses so all high school courses were bound to be dull, but he'd actually ~researched~ all of the teachers and signed them up for courses with the dullest, most incompetent teachers in existence. In the sciences and maths no less so they couldn't even start debates like they could in Literature or History.
The current class, for instance, was a prime example. It was freshman science. Not a problem except they were currently studying the ~space~ unit. He was born in a colony, he was a skilled shuttle pilot, he'd fought battles in space for Nataku's sake. And now he and Duo had to learn the names of the planets and the reason people couldn't breathe in space. It was ridiculous, it was insane, it was downright mind-numbing.
And, to top it all off, the teacher talked in a monotone and asked questions that he answered himself when no one in the class moved other than what was necessary for breathing. Mr. T. Dieum the science teacher reminded Wufei of a teacher in a movie he'd watched with Duo one night. It had been from the late twentieth century and had been called 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'. He and Duo had loved the movie, but Heero, who'd been forced to watch it as well, now that Wufei thought about it, had nearly strangled them for making him sit through it.
This teacher, at least, must have been chosen specifically as a form of added revenge. He kept waiting for the man to keep repeating the name Bueller in a nasal monotone.
He felt like screaming. Duo on the other hand was well past that. He'd screamed and run from the room after two classes - and ended up with a detention where he had to listen to the teacher lecture him for an hour about taking responsibility for his own schooling.
That event had, to Wufei's dismay, killed any chance of enjoyment for the class because Duo didn't dare do anything but stare glassy eyed at the teacher and pretend to actually be aware of the current lesson.
That meant that Wufei was bored.
Lifting his head he looked at the black board to see what was going to be inflicted on them for the rest of the period and he had to suppress a groan. In big letters were written the words 'The Sun'.
Wufei wondered if it would be weak to cry, just this once.
Catching Duo's eye, he watched the boy wilt and lean limply forward with his forehead pressed against the desk.
Wufei wished he had some explosives.
"Now class," droned the teacher. "Who knows what the sun is? Anyone? Anyone?"
There was only silence but for the buzzing of the fluorescent lights.
"Can anyone tell me about the sun? Anyone? Why does the sun shine? Anyone?"
Wufei blinked in amazement. The teacher didn't just ask that did he? Glancing at Duo he saw the same shocked expression turn into a wicked smirk and he could feel an answering grin cross his own lips.
Two hands shot up into the air.
The teacher looked startled. He looked beyond startled; he looked completely flabbergasted.
"Uh, Chang?"
Wufei crossed his hands on the desktop and sat up straight. "/The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees./"
"/Yo ho, it's hot," Duo said, jumping in. "/The sun is not a place where we could live but here on Earth there'd be no life without the light it gives./"
"Uh, correct," said the teacher slowly.
"/We need its light, we need its heat, we need its energy. Without the sun, without a doubt there'd be no you and me,/" added Wufei, surprised that he could keep a straight face.
"Very good," replied the teacher looking thoroughly off balance. "Could you repeat the definition you gave?"
"/The sun is a mass of incandescent gas a gigantic nuclear furnace where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees,/" replied Duo in a scholarly tone.
"Can anyone else tell me something about the sun?" asked the teacher. "Anyone?"
Wufei's hand shot up again. "/The sun is hot,/" he said.
"/It is so hot that everything on it is a gas: iron, copper, aluminum, and many others,/" interrupted Duo.
"/The sun is large,/" continued the black haired pilot.
Once again Duo interrupted. "/If the sun were hollow, a million Earths could fit inside. And yet, the sun is only a middle-sized star,/"
Wufei mock glared at the braided boy. "/The sun is far away,/"
"/About 93 million miles away, and that's why it looks so small,/" Duo added smugly.
"/And even when it's out of sight, the sun shines night and day./"
"/The sun gives heat, the sun gives light, the sunlight that we see; the sunlight comes from our own sun's Atomic energy,/" Duo was obviously trying not to grin by this time.
Wufei smirked at getting the factual line this time. "/Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom-smashing machine. The heat and light of the sun come from the nuclear reactions of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, and helium./"
Checking out the clock on the wall, they recited the next line in unison. "/The sun is a mass of incandescent gas a gigantic nuclear furnace where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees./"
The bell rang then and the two pilots fled the room cackling madly. And Heero had said that listening to Duo's classical music was a complete waste of time. He couldn't wait for the unit on particles.
End
AUTHOR: Hana-chan gohana_chan@lycos.com
STATUS: complete
CATEGORY: Songfic, shounen ai(a little), humour (I hope), silliness (definitely)
PAIRINGS: 2+5
RATING: G
SPOILERS: None
WARNINGS: None
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. The song is "Why Does The Sun Shine?" by They Might Be Giants. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" isn't mine either.(I love that movie)
SUMMARY: Duo and Wufei are stuck in a boring science class. Silliness ensues.
ARCHIVE: FanFiction.Net http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=81835
FEEDBACK: Please.
NOTES: I don't know if you want to call it blame or inspiration, but I dedicate this to Mel and Christy for putting Duo + Wufei + They Might Be Giants together in my head (Go DoJ)
/song lyrics/
WHY DOES THE SUN SHINE?
Wufei was bored.
Wufei had never been so bored in his entire life, and it was all Heero's fault.
Laying his head on his desk he sighed, trying not to go to sleep like the girl in the seat to his right. He and Duo were currently undercover at a boarding school but that wasn't why he was bored. Well, it was in part he supposed, but the real reason he was bored was that because, for one insane moment, he'd helped Duo play a prank on Heero. Wufei should have known better, but when it came to Duo, sometimes his brain short-circuited.
Helping to change Wing's colour scheme from red, white, and blue to lime, turquoise, and fuscha had not been one of his better decisions.
Heero had been annoyed to say the least.
The Wing pilot had been so angry, in fact, that he hadn't even bothered to threaten to kill them. He hadn't ranted, he hadn't raved, he hadn't waved his gun around saying 'oame o korouso'.
Instead he'd done the unthinkable. He'd registered the two of them in basic school courses with teenagers who were a year ~younger~ than them. It hadn't sounded too terrible at first - the five of them were essentially geniuses so all high school courses were bound to be dull, but he'd actually ~researched~ all of the teachers and signed them up for courses with the dullest, most incompetent teachers in existence. In the sciences and maths no less so they couldn't even start debates like they could in Literature or History.
The current class, for instance, was a prime example. It was freshman science. Not a problem except they were currently studying the ~space~ unit. He was born in a colony, he was a skilled shuttle pilot, he'd fought battles in space for Nataku's sake. And now he and Duo had to learn the names of the planets and the reason people couldn't breathe in space. It was ridiculous, it was insane, it was downright mind-numbing.
And, to top it all off, the teacher talked in a monotone and asked questions that he answered himself when no one in the class moved other than what was necessary for breathing. Mr. T. Dieum the science teacher reminded Wufei of a teacher in a movie he'd watched with Duo one night. It had been from the late twentieth century and had been called 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'. He and Duo had loved the movie, but Heero, who'd been forced to watch it as well, now that Wufei thought about it, had nearly strangled them for making him sit through it.
This teacher, at least, must have been chosen specifically as a form of added revenge. He kept waiting for the man to keep repeating the name Bueller in a nasal monotone.
He felt like screaming. Duo on the other hand was well past that. He'd screamed and run from the room after two classes - and ended up with a detention where he had to listen to the teacher lecture him for an hour about taking responsibility for his own schooling.
That event had, to Wufei's dismay, killed any chance of enjoyment for the class because Duo didn't dare do anything but stare glassy eyed at the teacher and pretend to actually be aware of the current lesson.
That meant that Wufei was bored.
Lifting his head he looked at the black board to see what was going to be inflicted on them for the rest of the period and he had to suppress a groan. In big letters were written the words 'The Sun'.
Wufei wondered if it would be weak to cry, just this once.
Catching Duo's eye, he watched the boy wilt and lean limply forward with his forehead pressed against the desk.
Wufei wished he had some explosives.
"Now class," droned the teacher. "Who knows what the sun is? Anyone? Anyone?"
There was only silence but for the buzzing of the fluorescent lights.
"Can anyone tell me about the sun? Anyone? Why does the sun shine? Anyone?"
Wufei blinked in amazement. The teacher didn't just ask that did he? Glancing at Duo he saw the same shocked expression turn into a wicked smirk and he could feel an answering grin cross his own lips.
Two hands shot up into the air.
The teacher looked startled. He looked beyond startled; he looked completely flabbergasted.
"Uh, Chang?"
Wufei crossed his hands on the desktop and sat up straight. "/The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees./"
"/Yo ho, it's hot," Duo said, jumping in. "/The sun is not a place where we could live but here on Earth there'd be no life without the light it gives./"
"Uh, correct," said the teacher slowly.
"/We need its light, we need its heat, we need its energy. Without the sun, without a doubt there'd be no you and me,/" added Wufei, surprised that he could keep a straight face.
"Very good," replied the teacher looking thoroughly off balance. "Could you repeat the definition you gave?"
"/The sun is a mass of incandescent gas a gigantic nuclear furnace where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees,/" replied Duo in a scholarly tone.
"Can anyone else tell me something about the sun?" asked the teacher. "Anyone?"
Wufei's hand shot up again. "/The sun is hot,/" he said.
"/It is so hot that everything on it is a gas: iron, copper, aluminum, and many others,/" interrupted Duo.
"/The sun is large,/" continued the black haired pilot.
Once again Duo interrupted. "/If the sun were hollow, a million Earths could fit inside. And yet, the sun is only a middle-sized star,/"
Wufei mock glared at the braided boy. "/The sun is far away,/"
"/About 93 million miles away, and that's why it looks so small,/" Duo added smugly.
"/And even when it's out of sight, the sun shines night and day./"
"/The sun gives heat, the sun gives light, the sunlight that we see; the sunlight comes from our own sun's Atomic energy,/" Duo was obviously trying not to grin by this time.
Wufei smirked at getting the factual line this time. "/Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom-smashing machine. The heat and light of the sun come from the nuclear reactions of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, and helium./"
Checking out the clock on the wall, they recited the next line in unison. "/The sun is a mass of incandescent gas a gigantic nuclear furnace where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees./"
The bell rang then and the two pilots fled the room cackling madly. And Heero had said that listening to Duo's classical music was a complete waste of time. He couldn't wait for the unit on particles.
End