Disclaimer: I don't own the show. I don't own the song. I don't own the characters. The song is "Over" by Sugarcult.
Everybody's after you
I wait in line to touch you
Look around if you ever miss me
Look around cause it kills me...
It's over
There's nothing you can do
There's nothing you can say
To keep me here
It's over
You say we're just friends
We're playing pretend to keep me here...
-Sugarcult-
She was starting to think that three's company. He knew it was always a crowd.
When he came back, he took his own advice to "embrace to the friend". He tried as hard as he could to become buddies with Zach. And they got along fine, and under normal circumstances, Seth was sure Zach had potential to be a close friend for a very long time. They bonded over three things. Comic books, video games, and in the backs of both their minds, they knew they were friends only because of her. Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer.
Seth thought that Zach was merely an obstacle for him to overcome once he got back. It made it easier to ignore them when they kissed. Or when she traded in "Cohen" for "Duckie". Or when he heard Marissa and Alex talking about how Summer had told Zach she loved him. She never told Seth that. He guesses she would have if he had stayed. But it's been almost 7 months now, and he can see that Zach makes her happy, makes her comfortable. Sometimes, he thinks he can see a hint of possibility in her eyes when she looks at him. But he's convinced himself that it's just the way the light hits them. Her eyes don't light up for him anymore.
He's done waiting around for his opportunity to fight for her again. She told him she wanted him to be her friend. So that's what he's tried to do. He's trying to let her go. She thinks he's doing it for her, leaving her alone because it's what she asked, what she thinks she needs. She doesn't realize that he's trying to push her away. It's the only way to keep the last little part of him from dying on the inside. She didn't know he had given up.
She walked up to his room, pleasantly greeted by the sounds of Conor Oberst. Bright Eyes was a sound she had learned to love over the past year. She still listens to it when she wants to think of him. But she keeps it hidden away, under the more generic Sugarcult and Blink 182 CD's that Zach gave her. Part of the cleansing process, she supposes. She'll never be rid of him though. Cohen's always there.
"Knock Knock." She lightly says, pushing the ajar door open and entering the room she used to spend so much time in. Now, every time she's in it, Zach's there. And somehow, it loses it's meaning. She sees him placing a picture frame into a box on his bed. As she walks closer to him, she sees him placing reminders of the past away, one after the other, not hesitating.
"Summer. Hey." He says, stepping slightly away from the box, as if trying to disown his actions.
"What are you doing?" She asks softly, picking up a frame from the box - a picture of them together at the beach the day after they got back together in Vegas. She put the frame on the bed, refusing to put it back into the box. She looks up at him, begging for an answer.
"I'm not getting rid of them. I'm just putting them away. That's the last one." He said, shaking his head and walking towards the frame on the bed to put it back into the box. She grabbed it before he could reach it. They look at each other, neither one speaking, but both saddened by the idea of the end.
"You can have it if you want it." He said, his head falling down while shoving his hands into his pocket.
"I already have one." She replied, defiantly, as to show him that she hasn't cleaned away all of his memories.
"Oh." He walks towards the window, turning his back on her, as she throws the frame into the box and follows him, standing close behind him.
"Why are you doing this, Seth?" She asks quietly, obviously saddened. He notices that she hasn't called him "Cohen" in a long time.
"I can't look at those anymore. It's the past now." He turned to look at her and sees a tear in her eye. He can't convince himself it's the light this time.
"I'm sorry, Summer. I wish it could be different. I kept them around thinking that it was only temporary and that we would come around again, but it hasn't. And the more I see you with him, the more I realize that it's gone for good." He says, defeated. He walks over to his bed and sits on the edge, looking at her and then back again to the window. She comes and sits next to him, staring out the window, fumbling with her hands.
"You really want this to be it for us? I don't want it to end this way." She looks at him, begging him to look at her. He refuses. But she sees a tear trickle down his face. She goes to wipe it away but he stands up.
"I don't want it to end this way either." He says, honestly, pushing her hand away. She pulls back reluctantly.
"Then it doesn't have to. You said you would try to be friends. I care about you, Cohen. I kinda like you being around." She says with a little laugh, still sitting. He smiles when she calls him "Cohen". She sees it. But he remembers why he's crying.
"We're not friends, Summer. It's just easier to say that we are than to admit that it's ruined. I can't be friends with you when I'm in love with you. It's impossible. And it's killing me to try." He looks at her and she stands up, desperately trying to get onto his level.
"So, what? You just want to run away from this because it's hard for you?You're going to leave me, again? " She says, tears streaming and anger flaring. He doesn't answer. But he doesn't have to. Summer softens and continues in almosta whisper.
"You know, its not easy for me either. But I don't have much a choice anymore. I have to do this for me." She moves closer to him and touches his hand, longing to be held by him and let the whole thing blow over.
"I'm not leaving again, Summer." He says, staring her right in the eye. She pulls her hand away and steps back from him. She knows it's done. They'd both hurt each other too much. It was broken. It was only a matter of time before the cracks began to show. And now it's fallen apart.
"You never really came back." She lingers on her last words and wipes away her tears quickly before grabbing her purse and beginning to leave. He wants to call after her, but he knows it would do no good. He knows he loves her. He knows he just let her go. And he knows its what's best for her. This time, it's not about being selfish.
He looked back at the box filled with reminders of her and closes it, placing it onto a high shelf in his walk-in closet. He has to let her go. But he can hold onto the memories forever. Even if it kills him.
Look around
I'm your one, your only
Look around
It still kills me...
It's over.