Disclaimer: Getbackers is property of Rando Ayamine and Yuya Aoki. No profit is being made from this fic.
Note: Vague spoilers for the manga arc 'Divine Design.' And I'm sort of mashing up my anime and manga terminology. Sorry.
Between
A bell chimes, clear and high in the midst of the day. Toshiki Uryu, former Hell's Knight of Fuga, looks skyward, eyes scanning for the slim figure he knows he'll find, perched high above, surveying all that used to be his.
It isn't every day Kazuki graces them with his presence. He moves in and out of Mugenjou with an ease few have mastered. Most who escape never return. Those who do are usually drawn by something. Kazuki is as special in this regard as he is in all others.
"Toshiki!"
It's simplicity itself to scale the rundown buildings and bring himself to Kazuki's side. He's greeted with a smile and one elegant hand coming to rest on his chest, fingers splayed.
"I was hoping I'd find you today." There's a promise in his voice. For today, at least, Kazuki will be his. Once, that might have given him a sense of importance. Now, however, he knows the truth.
The string master cannot be bound to one place, or one person.
--
Kazuki brings him back to his Shinjuku apartment. Though barely a stone's throw from Mugenjou, Babylon City's ominous spire cannot be seen from any of the windows, and he wonders if that's more than a coincidence.
Toshiki knows why he's here. Kazuki, however, clings to formalities, to a certain sense of propriety that has him offering food and drink like a proper host, trading small talk for the better part of an hour before he steps close and presses a hungry kiss to Toshiki's mouth.
This should feel special. Here, with Kazuki. Just them. His hands tangled in Kazuki's hair and Kazuki's mouth trailing along his collarbone. But it feels sordid instead. Not because Juubei doesn't know--he does--but because the other man almost never sets foot outside Mugenjou, and they both know it. They are unbalanced, the three of them, and he knows that times like these, outside Mugenjou, with Kazuki beautiful and writhing beneath him, are simply the younger man's efforts to smooth out the disparities.
It won't work. He knows how much Kazuki wants it too, but wanting isn't enough. There is 500 years of history between the Fuuchouin and Kakei houses, a fate he has no part in. He's forever a third wheel, no matter how much Kazuki professes to love them both, no matter how much he believes him.
He leaves Kazuki dozing in his bed afterwards, dresses again and wanders the apartment. It's not much of a place, though it's certainly a home. But it's the home of Kazuki the annaiya, not the Kazuki who lead Fuga, who was one of the Four Kings of the Volts.
The Fuuchouin clan is dead, their books all burned, and the sole heir lives a double life, in and out of Mugenjou.
--
A song startles him awake. Clear and strong and somehow sorrowful, the koto's music cuts through the quiet, and Toshiki realizes he must have drifted off. It's later now, the sun drifting slowly towards the horizon, and he's sitting on Kazuki's couch. He doesn't remember sitting down, doesn't remember falling asleep. Kazuki surely believes he's already gone. It would hardly be the first time. He's not much for sentimentality, and Kazuki seems to understand this.
He thinks about leaving now, briefly, leaving him to his practice, but cannot bring himself to go. He walks back to the bedroom and opens the door, catching Kazuki in the act, as it were. Slim fingers pause on the strings, but he motions for Kazuki to continue, watching as he completes his song. Kazuki folds his hands in his lap as the strings vibrate with the last note and looks up, dark hair a waterfall over his shoulders.
Ridiculous, that any man could be so beautiful.
"I thought you had left."
"I fell asleep." He pauses. "You play beautifully."
There's a slight smile and a duck of his head—such an unconscious, feminine gesture—and Kazuki's left hand reaches out to stroke the strings gently. "I'm out of practice. I didn't want to play anymore, after the fire... I started again for Juubei's sake, after he lost his eyesight. I wanted him to have something familiar."
And he can feel it in his chest, that stab of jealousy. He doesn't want it to be there, but it is. Juubei Kakei is honorable, selfless in a way Toshiki knows he'll never be. Maybe that's why he's humbled himself before this man—atonement for his past greed, his desire to serve no one but himself—but even as he thinks it, he knows it's not true. The need is still there, to be noticed, to be important. He is not a humble man, and he never will be. The desire has simply been tempered for the time being. By love, by lust, he can't be sure, but he knows he'll never settle for being the one between.
--
Another evening, a different place. There's a feel to Mugenjou that he knows he'll never forget, not matter how far he may wander. It's surprisingly quiet, for an evening in Lowertown. He supposes Makubex must be keeping an extra-vigilant eye out tonight.
They're tumbled together in a pile of mattresses, pillows and blankets, Kazuki tucked safely between Juubei and himself, fast asleep. The needle wielder is still awake, he can tell by his breathing, though his eyes remain forever closed. He sits up, elbows on his knees, staring down at the floor.
He sighs. "This won't last."
"I know."
They could be talking about a million things, the weather, the tenuous peace that seems to be holding their chaotic world together... But he knows, and Kakei knows, and the weight of it is heavy in the still night. "Will you be glad, when it's over?"
"No. You're an ally. Someone I trust. I don't want to see you hurt."
"But you won't be sorry, either." The animosity that used to exist between them is gone, he can say that much. But they'll never be friends. Comrades in arms, yes, bound together by their mutual devotion, but that's as deep as the connection goes.
"No, I won't."
He laughs softly. "You're always honest, Juubei. I appreciate that."
"It's the least you deserve," he replies. "You should stay, for as long as you can. I didn't lie. Protecting him can be lonely."
"I want to stay." It's so easy to say because it's the truth. He wants to.
"But you can't."
He closes his eyes, tries to imagine what Juubei's world must be like now. Were he so afflicted, would it make him humble? He doesn't think so. "For awhile longer, I will. But it's you he loves, not me."
"You think too lightly of his affections."
"I would never do that." He says it with vehemence. He'd never make that mistake again. "But it's not the same. I can't compete. He'd never stay, if it were just me. But you… he'd stay for you."
"It's my duty to protect him. He knows that."
"That's not it at all." And he laughs to himself, because Juubei Kakei is blind in more than just the physical sense.