Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to those who legally owns the rights. This is only a fan who loves to write and who does not receive for this.

Summary: This is during the episode Act of Contrition and I felt to give a different side for feelings. And I know that Mary Chapin Carpenter is of our world but in this story she could be from Caprica and mentions earth.

Spoilers: Act of Contrition

Pairing: Adama/Kara

Premonition

Kara felt the pain as she once had before but also with the pain came release. After being summoned to the Commander's room she had finally told him the truth as to how Zack had passed his flight test and as a result he had died during a landing. Kara will never forget the look on William's face and his words "Do your job and leave this cabin while you still can." It was like losing Zack all over again. She understood and was amazed at William's self control, if someone had told her that they were responsible for passing their son's or daughter's flight test when they shouldn't have, Kara hated to think what she would have done. So with that she headed for her berth to take care of a few things. Before leaving for the flight deck Kara sat down and wrote a letter putting it in an envelope along with a recording, sealing it and writing a name on the front. Opening the hatch of the crew quarters she almost ran into Lee as he was entering.

Lee didn't know what had taken place inside his father's quarters but by the unreadable expression on Kara's face it had been bad.

"Kara, I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Lee, I'm glad it did, for now everything is out in the open. Your dad was there for me when I needed someone and I repay him by not saying the truth and as a result you blamed your dad all these years for Zack's death. They say for one to heal is to forgive oneself, I will never be able to forgive myself but I do hope in time that you and your dad will forgive me." Lee watched her as she spoke there was brightness in her eyes but no tears. As long as he had known her, Kara had an impermeable wall when she needed it and apparently this was one of those times.

With a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "Lee, I need to go to the flight deck and take the rooks through preflight before we have flying lessons but would you do something for me?" "And don't get all shook up about what I want you to do okay." Kara looked at Lee with an intensity he had never seen before and felt cold inside.

With a smile Lee looked at her, "Kara you know I would do anything for you, so shoot."

"Lee, if anything happens would you give this to your father, you and your father are the only two people who mean anything to me."

Lee looked down at the envelope, and on the front was the name Commander William Adama.

"Kara, what's going on?"

"Lee don't worry I just want to be prepared. These are dark times and we don't know how long we're going live. I trust you Lee with my life but I also feel that I need to tell your dad some things that I don't have the guts to tell him while I'm alive."

"Lee I need to go but I want you to know this for the first time in a very long while I'll be able to teach, again, those civilian rooks without fear. And I thank you and your father for that."

Lee watched her leave with concern but he knew Kara, if she wasn't fit for flight she would request to be removed from the duty roster and with that he headed for his room to put an envelope in the safe. He prayed that day would never come when he had to hand over her last will and testament to his father.

Commander Adama sat in his room he couldn't believe what Kara had told him and his reaction to her words. He felt as if the floor had been removed from underneath him. Why had she waited so long to tell the truth? Was it because the fear of losing her career and not being able to fly or was it that she was only thinking of saving herself. No, that wasn't right he knew deep down she had a reason. She was that way accepting what would take place and not say anything. William was on an emotional roller coaster but looking at him you would not be able to tell for he had learned a long time ago to hide his feelings. Being a commander of a battlestar you learn to make difficult decisions putting all emotions deep within yourself. But lords when it came to Kara he had difficulty in setting aside his feelings for her.

William felt hurt but he knew that in time the pain would heal. He felt disappointment but that didn't break his trust in her and he also knew that she would not forgive herself for the events that took place in his son's death and that had to be a heavy burden for one to handle for so long. "Lords where do we go from here?''

Kara had taken the nuggets back out for flight training and to do her job as a flight instructor. The CIC was busy and Lee was listening to Kara instruct the younger pilots in different combat maneuvers. She sounded different, relaxed, and Lee wondered what his dad had said to her. At that time Adama came on deck with charts and set them on the consul. Lee looked at his dad and noticed he wasn't listening to the com, he knew whatever happened had not been good. But before he could say anything the tone in Kara's voice changed. Cylon fighters had appeared out of nowhere and she was out there with inexperienced fighter pilots and she told them to head for Galactica with full power.

When William heard her ask to send out the cavalry he went into command mode but also felt a chill. She had pulled away from the formation and headed back to the raiders. "What she doing." And Adama knew, would he loose her this time and they had parted with both of them in pain. He sent a silent prayer, not here, not now. Hot Dog had one kill in the dogfight but had taken a hit and Kara had guided him to safety but she already had six kills so far but there was one on her back and with a blink of an eye her com and transponder disappeared off the tracking screen. Alert One found Hot Dog but no sign of Starbuck. Both Lee and William felt the world disappear.

A search was conducted but no one had spotted either the crash site nor were there any transponder signals received. Time was running out and after his 21C stated a truth that William was allowing his feelings for Starbuck to jeopardize the entire fleet he had a decision to make. Sitting in his quarters William felt his whole world was about to end, he was going to leave Kara behind. There was a knock on his hatch and Lee walked in with an envelope in his hand. Lee's eyes told it all.

"Dad, Kara wanted you to have this if anything happened." And without saying anything more he left.

William looked at the envelope with his name on it. He couldn't do this not here not now and with heavy heart opened the envelope. There was a letter, a picture, and an audio/video recording. He felt the tears as he read the letter.

Dear William,

I've always like that name and it's a crying shame that I didn't use it enough when we were around each other. But I guess if your reading this I'm either dead or you are about to make the most difficult decision in your life and leave me behind. I want you to know if it's the leaving behind, you have the rest of our civilization to take care of, so do the right thing and I'll always be with you and who's to say maybe in some distant galaxy there may come a time when a blond headed, brown eyed woman walks up to you and say's "hey, I been looking for you." Lords I laugh just imaging the expression on your face.

Guess I better get serious I'm truly sorry for hurting you as I did and in time I hope you forgive me. Love can do some strange things to people who think they are professional. I'm not making excuses that's just the way things are. There's not a day that goes by that as a result of my actions that I feel responsible for your son's death and so in many ways I drove myself harder to protect you and Lee. I'll be damned if I would let those Cylons or anyone else try to hurt either of you so maybe that explains some of my crazy actions.

Well I better go and instruct those nuggets on the various types of combat maneuvers and we'll try not to mess up the Galactica to much and turn space upside down.

There's also something else that I need to say and my timing really stinks but I didn't have the courage until now. I loved Zack with all my heart but if I couldn't fly my soul would have died. I'm free here in space no one questioning or deciding your faith. You rely upon your skills of survival. William I don't say what I feel a lot times for I've learned to hide emotions, except when I'm around you. I love Lee as a brother but with you I can't really say what they are for they run deep. You see me as a daughter but I see you as something different but that's okay. In the laws of time the difference in our ages would be nothing for the universe is millions of years old and the time that is now may not be here tomorrow. But to be honest I don't give a flying frak what others would think or say but I would care because of what you are to them. So take care William may our paths cross somewhere here in space.

The audio/video recording that I made right after Zack's death. The soundtrack is called 10,000 Miles by Mary Chapin Carpenter. This is as much for you as it was for Zack.

Love Kara

William's hand could barely hold the letter for his hand was shaking from his emotions.

Putting the letter down, he put the disc into the player and the video began. The music began to play.

Music

Fare thee well

My own true love

Farewell for awhile

I'm going away

But I'll be back

For I go 10000 miles

10000 miles, my own true love

10000 miles or more

rocks may melt and seas may burn

if I should not return

oh don't you see that lonesome dove

sitting on a ivy tree

she weeping for

her own true love

as I shall weep for mine

oh come he back

my own true love

and stay awhile with me

if I found

on this earth

you been a friend to me

William watches the video as the sultry alto voice sings her ballad. The video shows a viper taking off soaring over the landscape of Caprica. The pilot gliding over the landscape of Caprica soaring moving effortlessly past the cities, going at treetop level showing the changes of color as it passed the farmlands, the mountains and the emerald seas and the music matched the video. And at the end a Viper climbing for space reaching for the stars. And what Kara had written was true the lyrics say it all. William knew that the pilot had been Starbuck but who had helped her. He plays it again and at the end he goes to the CIC and tells them to plot FTL jump, knowing that he was saying goodbye to Starbuck/Kara one of the most important person in his life. And as they plot he sees a Viper reaching for the stars.