Cleaning the Closet

"Jimmy, get down here!" mommy called me just the moment I was killing Sirius at exploding snap. Ok, let's not exaggerate, I wasn't killing him, but he was certainly losing. If I get away now, who knows what he's gonna do with my beautiful game! Sirius can be really revengeful…

"Just a moment, Pads. Don't you touch the game, I know I'm winning!"

"Shut up, Prongs…"

I ran downstairs; enjoying my bedroom was on the last floor (what means a BIG rail to slide on! And maybe break an arm.)

"What, mum?"

"Dear, you father just sent me a message, telling you to clean that closet upstairs so he can wash it when he's back. You can take Sirius if you want to…"

"Which closet upstairs?"

"The closet that's upstairs."

My mind slowly floated to the second floor, where the so called "closet" was. Man, no one ever gets near that place, why me?

"Oh…"

"Got it?"

XXX

Welcome to James's thoughts, where you uncover the ideas of this lovely marauder! In this first volume, you'll learn… How to convince mum!

1: Play innocent.

2: Act childish and smile.

3: Cry

4: Smile more, this time blinking lovely.

5: Cry a LOT, kneeling if you like.

6: Threaten suicide.

7: Sulk

8: Beg

9: Sulk and cry at the same time

10: Do whatever she wants.

XXX

I applied rule number one. "So you want me to clean the closet?" I said. "You don't have to wash it, just take the things out. Your father said he'll do the rest when he arrives." She smiled. Oh, dear patience. "The closet?"

"Yes, dear."

"The second floor closet…"

"Exactly."

"The closet that's on the second floor."

"That right, James."

"The… Closet?"

"JAMES!"

Hum… Number two, then.

"Mommy…"

"What, Jimmy?"

"You want me to clean the closet that's on the second floor?" I made my best child face, with a nozzle (she always melts).

"Why are you talking like that, my baby?"

"Mommy, I have a sleep over… Pleeease!"

"You're not getting me with that, young man."

Damn. I spent almost a minute without blinking, and approached again with tears in my eyes.

"Mum, I don't want to clean this up!" I skipped the smiling part, running to "sulk".

"James…"

"Why do I always have to clean things up? Sirius is here, you're spoiling my summer!"

"You're fifteen, James. Time to help."

"I'm under aged, can't work!"

"James…"

"Mum! I was having fun up there!"

"James Potter, stop bothering me." She looked at me the same way she does when my father gets home spilling mud on the carpet. Oh, boy. I gave up, skipping right to step ten.

"All right, I'm going. But I'm not having any fun!" I left stepping hard on the floor. When I got to my bedroom, I threw myself on the bed.

"What's up?" Sirius asked.

"I'll have to clean up the stupid second floor closet. My great grandfather's underwear must be there, nobody ever goes there! There must be a mutant cockroach's community."

Now you think: aw, Sirius must've gotten really sad for you, because you're best friends and everything… NOPE. He laughed at me.

"Come 'on, I'll help ya."

"What's the problem with you? Clean things up suck."

"Let's do it quickly, and then we can play again…"

"You're using this as an excuse to skip the game! Just because you're LOSING! Shame on you, Sirius."

But he was already downstairs. I'm leaving this game just like it started.