Story: Harry Potter

Pairings: Severus/ Narcissa

Rating: M

Author's Notes: Slightly AU. Six months post Battle of Hogwarts. Lucius Malfoy has died in a freak exploding wand accident, but Severus Snape, after several months at St. Mungos, has survived. Saved at trial by the testimony of Harry, Narcissa and several others, he was given immunity for his actions- even pity for his unrequited love for Lily Evans-Potter, but banned from returning to teach at Hogwarts.

This is a story about the redemption of love and about mothers.

Christmas Child

"To prepare our hearts for Christmas, we must cultivate the spirit of expectancy." HB

From the warmth of his study, he watched crimson leaves swirl and dance upon a Western wind as the last tangled golden rays of daylight touched the horizon. In the country, wheat, barley and apples were being gathered, bonfires lit and amber cider poured out in libations beneath the Harvest Moon. Eileen would have said such a strange wind on a feast day was auspicious.

Turning from the window, Severus smiled slightly as he remembered his mother's odd pairing of her superior logic and Irish superstition. Stoking the fire, he returned to his corner chair and tapped his glass to refill with wine. It was only when a light rapping at the parlor door pulled him forth from his reading that he realized the hour was late and that, except for the fire in the hearth, darkness had fallen.

Standing and waving his wand, gaslights swished and hummed as they lit and illuminated the meager sitting room. Living on a small pension, post his trial and dismissal from teaching, he choose to spend what little money he had on wine, books and occasionally a beef pie instead of ample lighting or heat. Rubbing his hands together, he cast a warming spell as he wondered who would be visiting at this hour. He was not often in the habit of receiving visitors at his home.

With apprehension, he opened the door. A hooded figured stood before him in the pale moonlight.

A cold, cracking wind billowed her cape and blonde tendrils swirled forth from her cloak. "Severus, may I come in?"

He bowed slightly as he opened the door, "Narcissa… Of course."

She entered his small home and apprehension stirred in his stomach. At least this time she was alone. Now there was no psychotic sister and no pompous husband to accompany her every movement. With Draco studying in Norwary, she was truly forsaken.

Lowering her hood, dark circles ringed her eyes and a heavy sadness touched her cool beauty. Less prideful, more unsure, but even after so much, she was still beautiful.

Offering a polite smile, "May we speak, Severus?"

"Yes, of course." He stammered, feeling like a fool. In her presence, he realized that he had missed the company of pretty women. Even if he never touched with his hands, his eyes enjoyed their lush curves, red lips and even the scent of femininity aroused his senses. "Let me take your cloak, Narcissa."

"No," she said, stepping back suddenly. "Tis a fall chill," she laughed nervously pulling the cloak tighter.

"As you wish." He ushered her towards the study. "Wine, then?"

"No, no I'm fine." She replied, taking a seat opposite his favorite chair. Her eyes lowering to the floor.

Severus sat back and crossed his legs; studying her. They had all changed since the war, but with the additional sudden and unexpected death of her husband, Narcissa seemed increasingly fragile.

Finally, lifting her eyes to his, he was stunned by her vulnerability. "Thank you again for coming to the funeral."

"Lucius was a good friend to me. I would not have missed it… It was well done."

A heavy silence befell the room, broken only by a crackling fire and the hum of the gas chandelier. He didn't need legilimency to feel her despair.

How the mighty have fallen. Is this what others think when they see me? He wondered. A broken man, an unwanted lover… a deceiver, a murderer? He had been absolved in court, but his soul had not found absolution.

"Narcissa, is there something-" "Severus, I must ask you-" They began at once.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She paused, lowering her eyes beneath fine lashes.

He sat forward and did something he had not done in a very long time. He took her hand in his. They were friends after all; perhaps he could give her some comfort.

"Narcissa, please, tell me what you need. You came here because you know I will help you."

He had already protected the innocence of her son by adding a black mark to his own soul. How much more could she ask of him that he hadn't already done? What aberration had he not already committed?

A tear streaked her pale cheek. "Marry me." She said quietly.

Confusion washed over him. He hadn't heard correctly. His heavy eyebrows creased and he removed his hand from hers, sitting back. "What?"

Her dark eyes, those Black orbs dug into him with such intensity and darkness, that he nearly cringed at the power and fear shaking inside of her.

"Marry me." She said louder. Then pulling back her cloak, she placed a hand on her rounded belly. "I am with child, Severus." She said calmly and then breaking, "And it is his."

His long, pale fingers clutched the arms of his chair. Again, confusion, agitation, he was disturbed and embarrassed all at once—emotions, that he hadn't felt in so long played through him like a rough quidditch match.

Fingers to his lips, "How is this possible?"

Now it was her turn to pull forward, grasping his hand as if she were drowning. "I am afraid." She cried now. "I am afraid and I am alone!"

And then, as if it came naturally, he embraced her in his arms and she sobbed against him. Clinging like a child and he was taken back to his own childhood where he was afraid and alone until… there had been someone to heal him. Lily. She was gone now, truly gone, her son safely grown and now, someone else needed his protection.

"Shhh," his lips soothed against the crown of her head. "You are not alone."

She sobbed harder.

"I have little to give you." He whispered. Little heart, little standing, little holdings. "But I can give you my name and my protection."

"Oh, Severus," she threw her arms around him. "Thank you. Thank you!" And for the first time, a smile and the smallest shred of hope touched her eyes. "Thank you."

TBC

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