A last note written by Gail before she ends it all, sort of dark and depressing but I needed to write it.

Being a Peck looks easy, one talk with mother and I'm a detective right. Well that's what most people think, no one knows the truth. So here it is, the truth.

The only thing I ever remember is having this weight on my shoulders to be perfect, even in my childhood. I had to have the bigger sandcastle, the best mark on the test. That was the only way I could get attention from my family, I was lucky if that even worked.

Everybody thought I was perfect and no one ever figured out my flaws, I hid them too well. Not even my best friends knew, I tried telling one person and ever since then they looked at me different and treated me with no respect.

To get out my anger I used to cut. Yup me, the perfect girl people looked up to in awe hurt herself. It was my only escape for a long time, it just made me feel better about myself. Maybe feeling the pain showed me that I really did mean something.

I remember this one girl who saw my scars and called me a freak, imagine being called a freak for just trying to live your life somewhat normal. But she got it right, I was a freak.

Being a Peck, you didn't really have any choices in your life. I knew from the time I was five that I would not be able to become anything other than a cop. I had this one dream that I wanted to own an antique store, corny I know. But that dream was killed ages ago, by my family.

My family wasn't really a family, we didn't communicate. We just lived together in the same house.

I'm scared to let anyone close to me ever. One time I thought that my family meant more than a last name, I thought we were becoming normal. I started to get happier, the world seemed brighter. I stopped cutting and started to enjoy life. Then with one swift move everything went to hell,I never let anyone close to me like that again because I don't know If I could survive that again. Nothing's been the same since then.

I became a turtle, shut myself off from the world. If anyone complimented me, I would think their lying. If anyone laughed around me, they were laughing at me. Nothing ever seemed good enough, I was in a downwards spiral. My cuts got deeper and my excuses ran out.

I really just wanted to end my life, there were so many notes that I couldn't perfect. I wanted my family to know how much they destroyed me. I never got the courage to tell them though.

Finally came the time for college, that was fun while it lasted. No one ever told me what to do and how to do it. That was the best time of my life.

I had to grow up and become what I was destined to do, or was forced to do, my mistake.

Right now, I'm not entirely happy, and I'm not entirely sad either. Just kinda there, watching a life get lived I never wanted. Every day I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't a Peck, would I have these scars or these thoughts, probably not. I'll never know.

I see the scars every day, the scream out to me. To other people they probably make me look like a monster or a freak, but to me it's a little sanctuary. Every time I feel the pain, I'm at home with myself.

I always think to myself I'm not enough, I have to do more. Just to show my family and those people who didn't believe in me that I exist too. I want to believe I'm enough, I try so hard.

I'm tired of hiding the scars, tired of my family. I perfected it this time.

I don't want to be remembered by being a Peck, I want to be remembered as someone who fought their whole life but was never good enough. If I ever meant anything to you, I'm sorry but I've made up my mind. This is it, my good bye. I truly am sorry.