Summary: AU. Castiel's life begins to look up when he finds love in Dean Winchester, but when Dean finds out what Castiel's home life is really like and realises that the boy needs desperate help. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters.

A/N: Hope you enjoy this fic! Castiel's dad's a total asshole, and this fic is very romantic and very angsty. Have fun reading!

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Hold Me, Love Me

Chapter One

Castiel Novak was nineteen. He'd been seeing twenty-five year old Dean Winchester for four months, and things were going great. He was studying photography at the community college in Lawrence, Kansas, while Dean worked at a mechanic's where Castiel had taken his car and that was how the two of them had met.

As Castiel sat in his room, he thought back over the last few months and how amazing they'd been compared to the rest of his life. He'd lost his mother at a young age after she'd been suffering with a long term illness, his father had become obsessed with his religion and then the nightmare came when Castiel realised in ninth grade that he was gay. His father had dragged him into his office and whipped him with his belt before dripping holy water in his wounds. But eventually Castiel had convinced his father that he wouldn't go near another boy and had spent the next five years of his life trying to please his father by bringing home girls. But then he'd met Dean Winchester and his life had changed.

Those green eyes were so warm, so calming that Castiel got so lost in them that he never even noticed. He smiled as he thought of those eyes. That perfect nose and those beautiful lips, soft like the cotton sheets in Dean's apartment. God, he loved being in Dean's apartment. He'd only spent the night once and all they'd done was kiss and cuddle all night, but it was just so perfect that Castiel wanted more and more. Castiel's father had just gone away for the weekend and Dean was going to Castiel's to spend the weekend with him. They'd been pretty serious about this weekend being the weekend when they'd have sex for the first time.

The knock on the door made his heart skip a beat and he remembered suddenly that Dean would have to enter the house that wasn't anywhere near as clean as it should be. Castiel tried so hard to keep it clean, but he only had so much time in the day to do it, and he was so grateful he'd changed his bedding because his father had made him bleed all over the last set. He hurried down the stairs, opening the door to find Dean standing on the other side. He was so pleased to see him, he felt his heart skip a beat and Dean stepped into the house, closing the door and locking it before pulling Castiel into a passionate kiss.

"So, this is your place?" He asked, earning a shy nod from Castiel.

"I'm sorry." Castiel replied, "It's not very tidy...or clean...I don't have much time to...I...um...My father hasn't...he..."

"Cas, you're getting flustered, it's fine." Dean said softly, "It's fine, baby, don't worry about it."

He saw the worry spread like wildfire across Castiel's eyes, and in an attempt to bring the brightness of those beautiful blue eyes back, he kissed him sweetly. Castiel worried a lot, but he never went into real detail as to why, and Dean was trying to put the pieces together that he did find out from his boyfriend.

"We going upstairs?" He asked, Castiel pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I'll get us some food and drink..." He said, "What would you like?"

"Um...nothing too excessive, thanks." Dean said, wrapping his arms around Castiel from behind and pulling him closer, "Not with what I've got in mind for tonight."

The husky tone in his voice sent a shiver coursing down Castiel's spine and the teen found himself forgetting the drinks and walking Dean back towards the stairs. They got to his room, Dean taking in how dark and dismal it was. The walls were a dark shade of green, the floor a dark wood, while there was a double bed covered in dark green bedspread.

"It's not much..." Castiel said softly as Dean closed the door while he drew the curtains and turned the bedside lamps on, "Nothing like your room..."

"It's gorgeous, babe." Dean said softly, even though it was a teeny tiny lie, he didn't want to upset Castiel.

It seemed he'd put so much effort into things, and that clearly he was worried about what Dean thought of his home. He could barely afford to be at college anyway. He'd gotten a scholarship and he'd been worried about not being able to afford to pay for the car repairs. Dean had been good with him and done the job for half the price since he really, really liked the guy and wanted to get in his good books, but also because he'd been a struggling kid trying to afford repairs on his own car.

"I've tried to make the bed as comfortable as possible..." Castiel said quietly, leading Dean to it for them to sit down.

"How long's it been since you had sex with someone, Cas?" Dean asked, stroking Castiel's face and hair softly, "I know you're nervous."

"I've only had sex with girls...never a man..." Castiel whispered, "I...My father doesn't..."

"I know, I know." Dean soothed, "It's not a problem, okay? I'm gonna look after you."

"I love you..."

Castiel gasped and pulled away from Dean's touch, watching the older man edge towards him and take his hand. He'd had plenty of practice for comfort since he'd practically raised his baby brother who was also at college, but he was at Stanford. Sam was studying Law and Stanford was the best place to start. He couldn't believe that Castiel had just said that he loved him. And from the look in his eyes he'd believed it to be a mistake.

"I love you too, angel." Dean said softly, Castiel still not looking at him, "Cas? I love you too, baby."

"You aren't lying to me...?" The teen whispered, Dean shaking his head and turning Castiel's to press a kiss to his lips.

"I'd never lie to you about that, okay?" He said softly, pulling Castiel closer and kissing him again.

Castiel climbed into his lap and allowed Dean to kiss him tenderly and hold him close, the two pressing their foreheads together and breathing one another in as Dean began to unbutton Castiel's shirt.

-TBC-

Hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading so far!

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