Pink Reindeer

AU Pre-rent

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas… let your heart be SHIT!"

Benny nearly jumped off of the couch as the exclamation rang through the loft. "What the fuck?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"From now on our troubles will be out of siiiiiiight."

Crinkling his face in confusion, Benny tried to place the singing to a face. It was female and he new April didn't sing.

"Have yourself a merry little FUCK!"

"Maureen," he grumbled under his breath, lying back down on the couch.

"What is your problem?" another voice shouted.

"I broke his leg!"

Benny frowned and sat up once again, straining to hear.

"Oh, it's not that bad. Look."

"ROGER! Don't eat him!"

"Owww! Don't touch me!"

A shuffling of feet and the smacking of what sounded like a blunt instrument against skin followed before the singing resumed.

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock… damn it! Get away!"

"You broke his head!"

"Don't touch him! Roger! I'm serious! I can fix that… no! Get it out of your mouth right now!"

Benny stood up, frowning, wondering just who was getting their head and leg broken and why Roger was eating him. He entered the kitchen just in time to watch Maureen dive onto Roger, attacking him with a spatula in an attempt to wrestle a cookie from his hand.

"Christ Maureen," Benny murmured, eyes wide as he took in the mess that used to be the kitchen. Everything was covered in a thin layer of powder, large metal sheets were piled in the sink and across the metal table lay racks of cooling sheets with large blobs of cooked dough sitting atop.

"Benny!" she whined, still wrestling with Roger. "Save my cookies!"

Roger smacked the palm of his hand against her forehead, holding her back just long enough to pop the head of a reindeer into his mouth, chewing quickly as she had escaped and was trying to choke it out of him.

"Maur, get off," Benny laughed as Roger's face turned blue.

He bent down and grabbed her waist, plucking her, with great difficulty, off of the rocker. She continued to flail in his arms, nails reaching for Roger as he coughed, clambering to his feet.

"Stay away from my cookies!" she shouted, still struggling in Benny's grasp.

"Oh, oh no!" he teased, grabbing a snowman and making it dance in front of her face. "Looks like Frosty's gonna melt!"

"Rog, I'll let her go," Benny warned, making Roger drop the cookie.

"They need frosting anyway," he said as Maureen stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'm not done yet, stupid," she replied, wiggling free of Benny's grip.

Roger hurried around the table, putting it between him and Maureen as she dove for him again.

"Maur, I didn't know you could bake," Benny said in hopes of distracting the angry baker. "Jeez. How many did you make?"

"A lot," she smiled proudly, turning around to face Benny. Roger took the opportunity to dip his finger into the pink frosting before scampering away to his perch on the windowsill.

"What are they for?"

"Well, Santa's coming," she smiled, laughing softly. "And some of them are for eating. And I thought I'd bring some to the girl downstairs. She just moved in. I think she lives alone."

"Don't go scaring away the new neighbors with your cookies," Roger shouted, picking up his guitar as he licked his finger clean.

"You seem to think they're okay," she sassed, hands on her hips.

"Roger will eat anything," Collins added, voice rumbling in his chest as he slipped out of his bedroom, cigarette behind his ear. "What are we eating?" he asked, grinning as he pecked the pouting Maureen on the cheek.

"I made cookies," she beamed.

"I see that," he replied, picking up the snowman Roger had abandoned. Biting into its head, Maureen waited impatiently for his reaction. "Good cookies," he mumbled, mouth full.

"Oh, good," she smiled, reaching for a spatula to spread frosting over one of the stars.

"Oh, Collins can eat one but I get tackled?" Roger asked, climbing down from the sill.

"They weren't ready yet," she replied, licking a dab of blue frosting from her fingers. "Look, I made Hanukah stars, too. For Mark."

"That's nice, baby," Collins grinned, ruffling her hair.

"You wanna help me frost?"

"I gotta grade some papers, baby. But I would love to. Maybe Roger will."

"No, Roger will not," he said, folding his arms over his chest. "Roger nearly died during the taste testing."

"Why is Roger referring to himself in the third person?" Benny asked, grinning.

"Roger will just eat them all. Benny, you wanna help?"

"Um…"

"Please?" she pouted, taking a step closer.

"Sure," he shrugged, caving. "Why not?"

"Good," she grinned, thrusting a tub of green frosting at him. "I've got trees over here. Snowmen there… stars, reindeer. I tried to make candy canes but they burnt. Too skinny."

"Who destroyed the kitchen?"

"Quick!" Maureen whispered, waving at Benny. "Throw some cookies in the tin so I can get out before Mark finds me."

Benny rolled his eyes as he stacked some pink frosted reindeer into her container, watching as she tugged her boots on.

"He's gonna find out one way or the other," he told her, handing her the container.

"But he'll make me clean before I go, which will delay my delivery. I'll clean when I get back," she promised, tugging on her jacket before sneaking out the door.

"You better," Benny sighed, turning back towards the kitchen where Mark was swimming through flour.

Maureen grinned as she skipped down the stairs, knocking loudly on the door to the room under the loft. Tin in hand, she waited impatiently, bouncing on the balls of her feet for the girl to answer.

The door cracked open slowly, revealing a head of dark curly hair, a pair of bright brown eyes peeking through the mess.

"Hello?"

"Hi!" Maureen smiled. "I live upstairs and I saw that you just moved in and I wanted to welcome you to the building and well, I made cookies and thought I'd bring you some!"

The girl's eyes widened as she tried to take in everything the woman at her door was saying. Wrapping her kimono tighter around herself, she opened the door even more, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Uh, thanks," she replied, taking the tin from Maureen. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. I'm Maureen, by the way."

"Mimi," she nodded, opening the tin to peek inside. "Are those reindeer?!"

"Yeah," she beamed proudly.

"I love them! And they're pink!"

"Oh, I'm glad. Roger tried to eat them all, but I tackled him. Told them they were for someone else."

"Roger?" she asked, waving Maureen inside.

"One of my roommates. He's a pig. Cute, but a pig."

"Oh," she nodded, biting the head off of a cookie.

"Hope you don't mind me hanging out for a minute. I made a mess of the kitchen and if I wait long enough, my boyfriend will clean it. He's OCD like that. It'll drive him nuts."

"Not at all," she grinned. "Stay as long as you like."