Switched
The Doctor's intentions were nice, absolutely and 100% nice. Clara hadn't really been feeling well ever since Danny's death, which was entirely understandable but still the Doctor felt like he should at least try to cheer her up and he knew that she liked tea. So he landed his TARDIS on an alien market and soon spotted a small booth that seemed to be exactly what he had been looking for. An old, wrinkled alien woman with four hands was standing behind the counter, using two of her hands to smack children trying to touch her selection of tea.
"Uhm, hello," the Doctor approached the counter, "I'm looking for some tea."
"Could you be a little more specific?" the woman pulled a face that the Doctor thought equalized raising one's eyebrows except that she didn't have any, "What do you want it for?"
"Drinking?" he replied a little uncertainly, "It's for a friend, well, more than just a friend friend, I guess but also not that kind of friend. It's a bit complicated. She's not feeling so well at the moment and I was thinking about cheering her up. She loves tea."
"I see, to cheer her up," the woman seemed to take a mental note, "What does she like except tea?"
"Oh, she's quite marvellous. She's a lot like me in many ways, I suppose. Always trying new things, always up for an adventure."
"Okay, cheering up, new things, adventure," the alien woman repeated, "Do you want to achieve something specific by giving her this tea?"
The Doctor shook his head. The alien's questions seemed more than just a little weird to him but as long as he would walk out of here with some tea for Clara all would be fine.
"No, not really."
"And a dash of surprise. Oh, one last question: Will you be sharing the tea?"
He shrugged. "I suppose so, yeah."
A smile spread over the woman's face. "I'll finish up your mix, it will be ready in a few minutes. The preparation instructions will be on the bag but I must implore you to follow them strictly. I will not be held accountable for anything that happens if you do not follow them."
"Got it," the Doctor replied and as promised a few minutes later he was handed a small bag, paid the woman and went off to see Clara.
The Doctor landed in her apartment on a Sunday morning and Clara was still in her pyjamas ready to prepare breakfast.
"Doctor, I didn't know you were coming," she replied, yawning.
"It's a surprise, oh, and I've brought another one," with a proud smile on his face he handed her the small bag containing the herbs, "It's tea. I had it prepared especially for you by a woman at an alien market."
Curious about the tea Clara opened the bag and took a sniff. "Mhhhh," she hummed, "It smells good. What's in there?"
"No clue," he shrugged, "But the woman asked some questions about you, so I guess it's one of those teas especially put together for your personality things."
"Okay, let's try it," Clara concluded and turned around towards the kitchen counter, following the instructions on the bag after the Doctor had told her to do exactly as they said before she finished with the rest of the breakfast and a few minutes later they were both sitting on her sofa, chewing on oven fresh croissants and sipping the tea the Doctor had brought.
"This tea is the best I've ever tasted!" Clara exclaimed after a while, "You seriously need to take me there. I need more of that!"
"I will," the Doctor replied, grinning. He was enjoying the mixture very much as well even though he couldn't quite make out what it tasted like. It was strange somehow. As soon as they had started drinking it Clara had most definitely cheered up and he was feeling a bit happier than usual, almost euphoric. His entire body was tingling and he felt sort of edgy, excited even, in more than just one way.
"Clara," he said after a moment, "How are you feeling? Right now, I mean?"
She grinned at him. "I'm feeling greeeeaaaat," she replied, laughing and sipping her tea, "Why do you ask?"
The Doctor brushed the thought aside and took another gulp of the tea which really was excellent. He had demanded a sort that would cheer her up, it was probably just the intended effect and for that it was working. He didn't need to point out to Clara that he may have given her some sort of alien drugs, it would probably just make her angry and as long as they were only in a good mood he really saw no harm in it. And besides, he could already feel it wear off a little.
"Doctor," Clara suddenly said, swallowing hard, "On second thought. I don't think I'm feeling so great after all."
He noticed it, too, though a few seconds after she had. The tingling in his body grew worse. It felt like a limb one had fallen asleep on, reducing the blood flow, and upon waking up there was no feeling in it except this nasty static-like tingling. Only now it was spreading over his entire body and the room was beginning to spin, too.
"Doctor," Clara muttered in an attempt to cry for help right before he fell limply back onto the sofa. He wanted to help her, he really did, only he couldn't move and then suddenly everything went black.
OOO
"Wake up! Wake up!"
The Doctor heard a voice but it was a strange one. In one way it was vaguely familiar but then it wasn't. Shouldn't there be Clara's voice, though? He had been with Clara, drinking tea. The tea!
He opened his eyes and for a moment thought he was looking into a mirror. His own face was bending over him, looking worried. Was that what he looked like when he frowned? Only he wasn't frowning. And the face in front of him wasn't a mirror. The Doctor sat up quickly and the room was still spinning around him when suddenly he felt a strong hand slap his face.
"Ow!"
Huh, that was weird. His voice didn't sound like his voice at all.
"You're in big, big trouble!"
It took him a moment but eventually the realization of what had happened was beginning to dawn on him and his theory was only confirmed when he looked down at himself, finding not his hoodie and his plaid trousers but Clara's black tank top and her striped pyjamas. He raised his hand to his head and took a strand of hair, observing it as he twirled it between his fingers. Yep, definitely Clara's hair. He sniffed it. And her shampoo, too.
"Oh," was the only thing the Doctor uttered when the full extend of what had happened had seeped through to his mind. Somehow the tea had caused them to swap bodies.
"How do we fix this?!" Clara demanded to know and in his body she seemed even scarier than she normally did.
"I'm not sure," he replied, "I'm guessing it's just gonna wear off at some point."
"What exactly was in that tea?!"
"I told you, I don't know," the Doctor said defensively, "The woman asked a couple of questions. I told her you were a friend in need of cheering up, that you liked trying new things and you were adventurous."
"And she gave you body swap tea?!" Clara rolled her eyes, or, well, his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, "That wasn't exactly what I had in mind either."
Clara groaned in frustration and rose from the sofa. The Doctor didn't really know what else to do so he just followed her example, for the first time realizing how small Clara was and it made him laugh despite their situation.
"What?" she snapped at him through his rough voice.
"Nothing," he laughed, "It's just. . . well. . . you're tiny. How do you ever reach a shelf?"
"Oh, you think that is bad? I'm in a Time Lord body and with your body temperature I feel like I'm cooking right now. How can you ever be in warm rooms? Also, my hands are hairy. Look!"
Clara held his own hands into his face and the Doctor instinctively took a step back. "Yes, Clara, I know those hands. They're mine, remember?"
"Ugh," she groaned again, using his hairy hand to fan her, or his, face, "I can't deal with this. I need a cold shower!"
She shot around, walking into the direction of the bathroom with large, fast steps.
"Clara, no!" the Doctor called after her, trying to follow his own body but it was proving to be a bit more difficult with Clara's short legs, "Clara, don't you dare undress my body!"
The bathroom door was slammed into his face and he could hear Clara lean back against it.
"This is terrible!" she complained.
"Please, come out of there. You don't need a cold shower. I washed that body just this morning. It doesn't need another cleaning yet," he begged her, "And look at the bright side, at least you're not a dwarf!"
Suddenly the Doctor realized that it was oddly quiet on the other side of the door. Clara hadn't even reacted to the insult.
"Clara," he said warily, "You better not be undressing my body! What are you doing in there?"
"Uhm, nothing," she replied after a moment, "WHOAH!"
"Okay, open that door right now! Clara!"
She didn't reply at first and when the Doctor pressed his ear to the door he heard quite a strange sound but it was too low for him to determine what it was. Damn human hearing. Clara definitely needed to stop listening to loud music.
"Oh wow," Clara suddenly muttered behind the closed door, "Amazing!"
Something about the way she said it seemed to shoot right through his body, or at least through the body he was currently occupying, setting off something between his legs that could almost be compared to an itch. Only it was a good one.
"Clara," he said hoarsely, trying once more to warn her.
"I'm gonna take that shower now. You, erm, do what you want. I won't be long," something about the way she said that last part was odd, especially since it was accompanied by a giggle.
When he heard the water rushing from the shower head the Doctor knew there was nothing he could do to stop her now and he tried very hard not to think about the fact that Clara was seeing him naked right now. Slowly he wandered off and ended up standing in her bedroom. When he looked up he saw Clara's face in the mirror. It was strange, really strange. The Doctor knew what she looked like but he had never really studied her before like he did now. Round face, large eyes, pretty. Very nice breasts.
The Doctor considered it for a moment. Clara was in the bathroom, doing God knows what with his body, so it would only be fair. . . Carefully as if waiting for permission he cupped her breasts in his hands. So far so good. Squeezing them lightly he felt the feeling in his loins return and he guessed that this body liked what he was doing. He let his hands wander down the body until they landed on Clara arse and he pinched it. Nothing. A little harder and he squealed in Clara's high pitched voice. In the back of his mind the Doctor realized that the water in the shower had turned off just when he had been thinking about giving in to the itching feeling between Clara's legs.
"Doctor, something's wrong!" his own voice came from the bathroom, "I think we-"
It broke off and all he heard was a thudding sound. He wanted to go and see what was wrong but he couldn't move, Clara's weak legs were too wobbly and then everything faded to black again and he could feel this body sink towards the floor.
OOO
The Doctor woke up on the bathroom floor, a little disoriented at first but to his great relief he soon realized that he was back in his own body. He pushed himself up and noticed that Clara had only managed to dress his lower half after the shower and so he reached for his shirt to finish the job. It felt good to be back in his Time Lord body but suddenly he frowned when he thought he felt a little different than before the switch, more relaxed, more. . .
"Clara!"
He opened the door and looked straight into Clara's scandalized face.
"You pinched my arse!" she scolded him.
"Yeah and you-" he was about to shout at her but couldn't bring himself to say it without blushing mercilessly, "Let's not talk about it, okay?"
Then he noticed how Clara was biting her lip. "You know," she said sheepishly, "I kinda always wanted to try being a man for a while. I thought it was. . . interesting."
"Yeah, well, wrong species," he replied dryly, "Switching gender is a Time Lord hobby, makes for awkward marriages though, always depending on what you're into."
When Clara looked down at her own two feet the Doctor knew that he might have answered a bit harshly. She was human. Humans were curious and Clara especially.
"I suppose it wasn't that bad. Strange. Wasn't exactly sure what to do," the Doctor shrugged.
Now Clara looked up at him, a bit flabbergasted. "You could have done whatever you wanted. My body was yours at that moment. Well, maybe getting a tattoo or a piercing would have been off limits or mortally wounding me. But I don't care about the rest."
A frown appeared on the Doctor's face. "So, let's say I would have done what you did to my body. . ."
"I thought you would. I told you to do what you want, that was included."
"Okay, erm," he paused, shuffling his feet nervously, "I don't get a second chance, do I?"
Clara smiled at him. "Maybe not right now, but next time tell her to make a stronger dose. Something that lasts a bit longer. Your Time Lord body is," she paused, grinning and her gaze dropped to his crotch, "A lot more resilient than that of a human."
The Doctor nodded, a bit unsure as to what his next move should be. For a moment he wondered if Clara still felt that tingling between her legs that he had noticed while being in her body. "Or we could," he shrugged, "Try it with our own bodies first."
Clara's lips were on his own as soon as he had finished the sentence and he was being dragged into her bedroom. Even though the idea with the tea had turned out a little different than he had expected it to he couldn't help but think that it had been just what they had needed.