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I listened as over head Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel played over the radio. I hummed to myself working calmly and efficiently dipping the newly painted pottery in the blue glaze that would burn shiny clear in the massive kiln beside me. I focused in on every note trying to make sure I wasn't shaking as I grabbed the tongs and gently grasped a huge bowl with them. The last thing I needed was to break another pottery piece. The last one that I destroyed had been a thirty dollar piece. Money I didn't have. I continued with my task until a voice startled me.
"I didn't know you liked Simon and Garfunkel." He shocked me like he did every time he snuck up on me. I dropped the bowl in a foot and a half deep vat of glaze.
"Edward!" I immediately dropped my tongs and went in after the piece. The longer it sat in there it would cake up and have way too much glaze on it, ruining it.
My hand searched frantically for the bowl that seemed gigantic moments ago now magically shrunk into nothing. I bent over the massive mixer catching my sleeve in the glaze. I think I heard Edward apologize but I was too concerned with the stupid bowl. Finally I located it and brought it out carefully hoping I hadn't done real damage to the paint. I set it down on the drying rack.
"Bella…I'm sorry…" He smiled as if ready to laugh and my eyes narrowed at him in fury. Had he done it on purpose?
"You're all blue." He let out a chuckle before grabbing a towel. My entire right arm was encased in the gooey glaze. He grabbed my arm and made sure every bit of blue he could wipe off was gone. I held my breath feeling like I should be mad at him but incapable of doing so with his close proximity.
"I really am sorry Bella." He said lowly. His laughing was all gone. His eyes got a really intense look in them. "I just…I love Simon and Garfunkel…I didn't know you knew them. I don't know why…it was so pressing to interrupt you…" He mumbled as he put the towel down and shoved his hands in his pockets and swayed nervously.
"It's okay. I just got scared." I said giving the glaze a mix with the ladle to distract myself. I wiped my face then. I looked up to him finding smiling again. "What?"
"Uh, you got some glaze on your face." He replied with the grace to not laugh this time. I looked at my left hand to see glaze there as well. I tried to wipe at it but finally he seemed exasperated that I wasn't reaching it and rushed back in front of me.
It was as if slow motion watching his hand lift and take his thumb to caress my cheek to remove the blue substance. I noticed his hand lingered there a moment longer then needed.
"There." He whispered. We stared at each other as if we weren't sure what had just happened that made the room feel so hot and charged.
Fortunately, the bells on the door alerted us that we had a customer. Edward abruptly turned away from me and headed around the corner. I heard him greet whoever it was. I stood there still as stone. It took another minute to thaw out.
Edward and I had been working for two weeks straight this summer. His Aunt Esme owned The Pottery Café where I'd been working since I was fifteen years old. It was my first job besides babysitting, which went wrong since I hated children. Pottery was something I was good at. I could make it, paint it, and fire it like the best out there. I was so serious about it I even thought about going to college for art. Me, Bella Swan, trying to be artistic. It used to be the regular joke.
It was the summer after my senior year, my last year here in Forks, Washington. Edward and I had known each other in school. He was older than me by a year and was already going to the University of Washington, where I was headed.
I'd always had the biggest crush on him, but until recently I hadn't thought eliciting any kind of attraction from him was possible. But as the last few days have gone by I've found him staring at me or finding reasons to talk to me. We'd always been friendly but I don't think we could call each other best friends or anything, not until now I suppose. I really didn't have any best friends besides Jake, and he was too busy with his new little gang of guy pals. I got laid by the wayside. Oh well. I guess that's just growing up.
Edward was back for the summer and would be returning to college the same week I was. He already offered to drive me up, but I declined telling him I was taking my truck. He then amended it asking if he could follow behind. If he wasn't so charming and I hadn't known him most of my teen years I would think him a stalker to be honest.
Because I'm so shy and really so inexperienced with dating I had chocked it up to him being bored with life in Forks and maybe looking for some good conversation. But slowly this idea has become inconclusive with what I'm feeling. I actually had the new idea that Edward just might like me. I smiled just thinking of the possibility.
"Uh, Bella?" I heard Edward's uncertain voice call out to me. Even though Edward's Aunt owned the place it didn't mean Edward knew as much as I did. In fact, in some sick way I took some pleasure that he was often lost about paints or the coffee or anything. It was very sad and mean, but it made me feel like I really knew my stuff.
I set down the piece I had been working on and turned the corner to see Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. I wanted to turn right back around. Jessica was pretty harmless on her own but with Lauren she could become just as nasty as my arch nemesis. Lauren and I were known to be on the worst terms. To put it bluntly, she was a bitch.
"Hey, Bella." Jessica waved at me even though I was two feet away from her.
"Yeah, hey." Lauren rolled her eyes as per her natural greeting.
"They were asking me about stencils. I told them what you told me that they should tape them to the piece and then trace inside it, but they wanted to know if they could just paint over them." He bit his lips to conceal a mischievous grin and I understood what this was about.
Edward knew of how I was tortured by these girls in school and he wanted to give me some kind of power no matter how small. He moved closer to me and I could practically taste the other girls' disappointment.
"Yeah, it's better to trace, otherwise you'll make a mistake and it will take forever to fix." I said trying my hardest to keep a straight face.
"Ugh! That's going to take forever!" Jessica complained.
"Well, you could use stamps or sponges, or you can always risk free hand if you're steady." I recommended while pointing at the craft corner that explained everything I was. So much for the pretty sign painted by me.
"Bella free-hand paints everything. She always makes the most awe inspiring pieces." Edward smiled at me and I for a moment really believed it was true and not part of the ruse.
There was a pause where Edward didn't take his eyes off of me and I could see his little show was aggravating the girls who obviously had the same feelings I had towards him. I heard a huff from Lauren.
"Well, if she can free hand or whatever so can we. Come on Jess." She said as she hauled her minion over to the wall to pick out their colors.
"Nice touch with the mooning over me, Edward. Quite the actor you are." I teased him before getting to the coffee orders that Jessica and Lauren had already submitted.
Suddenly he was behind me and next to my ear as I pressed down the espresso.
"Who says I was acting?" He murmured. I turned slightly to see him almost over my shoulder. My breath caught which he found amusing before he attended to the person that walked through the door interrupting us.
The rest of the night was spent with Edward and I trading back charged flirting. I was still unsure if it was just to annoy the girls but somehow it felt impossibly real.
Lauren and Jessica tried their best to distract Edward or to find stupid reasons to need him. At one point Lauren made Edward look over her shoulder while she tried to not so subtly lean back into him. It was disgusting and I felt bad for him. God knows what diseases that skank most likely carried. I giggled to myself as I scrubbed the coffee pots close to the end of the night.
"What are you laughing about?" Edward asked for the other side of the counter adjacent to me. I wiped my hands on a towel and risked a glance over to the girls.
"I was just thinking of your admirers." Lauren popped her head up like she could hear me from across the room. Her expression towards me was filled with hate and anger, but when Edward chanced a look her face transformed into some silly idea of seduction.
"Oh wow." He quickly looked down and chuckled. "They still bothered you when I left Forks?" His face turned somber.
I took a deep breath and put my hand on my hip. I looked over to Lauren again and her face was once more ugly. I smiled back and looked at Edward.
"I'll take that as a yes then." Edward sighed and moved to start sweeping the floor. I finished washing everything along with my other chores.
"Hey girls, we are closing in ten minutes." I called over to Lauren and Jessica. They acted like I wasn't there.
"You can't stay open a little longer, Edward?" Jessica tried the sex eyes, but she looked like her eyes were having seizures. Edward tried to keep his composure as best he could.
"Sorry ladies. You can come back and finish your…uh…pieces some other time." Edward said before he set the broom in back laughing quietly.
I looked over the table and saw that true to their word Lauren and Jessica had painted with no stencils or stamps. They had drawn stick figures on their latte cup and decorative plate they had picked out, and they weren't good looking stick figures. Stick figures weren't supposed to look like squiggles instead of straight lines.
They huffed and puffed and took their sweet little time. I watched with my hip jutted out like I had all the time in the world too. I bit my lip every single time they jerked their stuff one way or another completely inconvenienced by closing time. It was more comical to me than annoying. Okay, it was still annoying, but having Edward here to exchange knowing looks was very helpful.
"That'll be forty-two fifty three." I said to Lauren as I rang her up.
"What? How did it get to be so much?" Her eyes practically bugged out of her head. I'm guessing Daddy would not be so happy to pay that bill.
"Well you drank two mocha frappachinnos, had a cheesecake and you picked a pretty pricey decorative plate plus the paint fee." I replied with the straightest face I could muster.
"There was no price on it." She said lamely.
It almost made me sorry for what I was about to do, but only almost sorry. I turned over the poorly painted piece to show her the clearly written price on the back. I heard a funny noise beside me where Edward had been standing, and turned just in time to see him turn away and walk to the back. I guess that was just too much for him.
After sorting out the payment of their order, which irritated them even more to actually give over the money, they asked me where was Edward.
"Oh, uh…I don't know. Hang on." I said smiling to myself. I poked my head into the backroom that was half hidden by a wall.
"Just wanted to let you know…"I whispered, "that your harem is begging for their master back." Before I could let out a full giggle he had pulled me into the room and set me against the wall laughing.
"I swear to God if you love me at all you won't make me go back out there with Skank and her evil apprentice Skankette." I laughed at his comment and shook my head.
"It's not about love my dear Edward. It's about how the customer is always right." I joked back.
His hands grabbed my wrists and pressed me against the wall. His smile grew more playful.
"You know there are things I could do to you for making me do this." He was so close. I couldn't breathe for fear of him drifting away into some naughty fantasy I could have been having where he said those exact words. But he didn't drift away and I didn't wake up.
I took a moment to gather up courage to flirt back, but it wasn't fast enough to hear the girls start calling Edward's name. I turned toward the sound and looked sideways to him. He had turned toward the whining from the girls too. I smiled softly when he turned his attention back to me. I leaned in closer to him next to his ear.
"I think you should be more worried about the things I could do to you." I whispered as seductively as I hoped it sounded. I then slinked away from him before I did something that I still wasn't sure was wanted.
I knew Edward was attracted to me but did he want to kiss me? And I suppose it wouldn't be so awesome to kiss him while Lauren and Jessica were there. Although if they ended up seeing that would be funny. I turned the corner to come face to face with the girls.
"Sorry guys but he's actually handling some pottery right now and can't stop in the middle of it. Right Edward?" I called back.
"Uh, yeah…right. Sorry girls. Hope you had a fun time. See ya later." He responded back from behind the wall.
I watched as they backed out of the store still hoping to get one last look at Edward. When they rounded the corner outside I kept my eyes on it expecting them to pop their heard around it. I laughed to myself.
"What's so funny, Swan?" He was so close to my ear again. He had startled me but I recovered fairly quickly.
"Just the way you dazzle people, Edward." I turned around only to find there was not much space between us.
"Do I dazzle you?" I looked down unable to answer the question honestly while looking into his eyes.
"Not at all." I replied while scooting along the counter to get away. This was getting more intense. The only thing was I realized in that moment that I really cared for Edward. I didn't want to be some booty call or leisure activity. I wanted to be the real deal, and didn't see how that would happen in real life.
He grabbed my arm and suddenly on the radio the song Futile Devices by Sufjan Stevens starting playing.
It's been a long, long time since I've memorized your face
I turned to face him and his face was serious but his eyes twinkled. He pulled me to him. I felt my skin tingle underneath his touch. His hand lingered on my waist and his other hand took mine. He wanted to dance.
It's been four hours now since I've wandered through your place
"I don't know how." I mumbled feeling unbelievably bashful. I dipped my chin close to my chest watching our feet go back and forth. He gently pulled my chin up.
"I'll teach you." He said lowly. His gaze penetrated any shyness I had and I found myself staring into his eyes.
And when I sleep on your couch I feel very safe
We moved together and I could see how we were syncing up. I tried not to think of all the things we had to do for closing. I really tried not to think how this might be something casual for him. I did focus on how my racing heart before slowed to a deep pulse in my ears. It made me feel alive and made me focus on the moment.
And when you bring the blankets I cover up my face
"How exactly are you teaching me?" I joked with him. He smiled at me.
"I'm teaching you to trust me, Bella." I was so close I could feel the vibrations of his voice through his body. I swallowed hard trying to control my actions before I did something I might regret.
I do love you
Edward started to sing the song. His voice was beautiful.
I do love you
We stopped moving. I realized we had moved toward the backroom. Edward brought his hand up to my face, caressing it. I closed my eyes at the sensation.
"You are so very beautiful." I could barely hear him say.
I grabbed his hand on the side of my face and held it there. "Is this real?"
"What do you mean?" He looked confused. I sighed and let go of his hand.
"Do you really care for me or am I just some distraction for you?" I surprised myself that I was able to be so direct.
I suppose I didn't want to play the game if this was in fact a game. I hated that I sounded like I was accusing him. Perhaps I was. Perhaps I was that insecure or scared.
"Do you think I would do that?" The hurt in his eyes glared back at me. I could feel heat run down my back suddenly. It crawled into the back of my eyes and cheeks, and my hearing became muffled.
Before I could say sorry he walked away from me but he had nowhere to go with me inadvertently blocking the exit. A charged silence overcame us and I was so very regretful that I had said anything at all.
"Edward, I just…I care about you. I didn't want to be…"
"What? Burned? Have I ever given you the impression that I'm one of those guys?" He demanded from me angrily.
"No." I answered lowly.
"Every year I've known you I've tried to figure out how to tell how much I…"Edward paused. I held my breath hoping that he would finish his thought. "Forget it." He mumbled.
"Edward, I didn't mean to offend you."
He huffed out loudly. "Well…you did."
He tried to move past me but I couldn't let him. "Please." My heart pounded as I put my hands on his chest. Through his shirt I could feel his heart. There was something in his eyes; surrender, hope, desire.
We listened overhead as the last words of the song played.
And words are futile devices
I summoned all my courage as well as my weak resistance to rejection, and I kissed him. He was still, too still. I instantly felt like I had made a mistake. I thought I was better reading him, but maybe I wasn't. But then he moved and suddenly the kiss was more than just a gentle meeting.
His hands reached up into my hair to give him better access to control the kiss. He kissed me breathless, senseless. I literally could not hold onto a coherent thought other than, "He's kissing me. We're kissing. Finally."
His tongue peeked out and I thought I would die. I met it with my own tongue and the kiss deepened. His hands traveled down my sides and the dip of my back. He wanted to touch everything all at once and was getting frustrated he couldn't. He turned me around so that he could pin me up against the wall.
Some primal force possessed me at that moment because I picked up my leg to wrap around his waist. He grabbed it and brought it satisfyingly close to him. I felt his hardness immediately and we both startled each other with the loud moan that soon escaped both of us. We slowed down and I let my leg fall. I knew that if I kept that up we would end up having some kind of messy pottery sex.
Edward laughed quietly. "Wow." He simply stated. He seemed to be speechless.
"Yeah." I chuckled as well.
"Do you have any idea how long I've waited for that?" He looked at me seriously now. "God, it was better than I could have imagined."
"Why didn't you tell me before?" I was confused over what would hold back the popular Edward Cullen from just reaching out and getting what he wanted.
"When it comes to you, Bella, I can become painfully shy." His fingertips traced the side of my face. "And then your friend Jake was always around." He looked very annoyed.
"Yeah, not so much now." I said sadly thinking of how I lost my best friend.
"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Edward became concerned and defensive.
"No. We just grew apart. But I don't understand what Jake had to do with you not telling me."
"You don't realize do you?" He laughed a little at me. "He could have been my competition. Bella every boy in this town, including me, is infatuated with you."
I thought back on all the boys who had asked me to prom or the boys who were constantly staring at me. Maybe he was right, but I still couldn't believe it.
"You're so cute when you blush." His finger circled my check. His smile was infectious.
"Kiss me." I whispered.
"I did kiss you, Bella."
I grabbed the back of his neck, "No. I kissed you."
We kissed until we realized that we had been there over an hour after closing. At the end of the night when we turned off the lights and locked the door he took my hand.
"Please tell me you'll be with me, Bella." His confidence now fell into timidity. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. I kissed him languidly and passionately. I figured that was better than offering words.
He walked me to my car and kissed me one last time. When I drove away I could still see him watching me. I got a text as I pulled onto the main drag.
Words are futile devices. I think this maybe our song. Good night love. -Edward