So, a few of you have asked for a story simply of Kurt and Amber. If you don't know who Amber is, please go read my Tweedles Drabbles, the chapter called Respite. Thanks especially to Dont I Get A Dream For Myself, who requested an entire fic specifically and Kurt/Amber. Well, this is more Amber than Kurt, at least for the first bit. This is Amber's back story, where she came from, and how she came to be who she is. I'll warn you right now, there are some triggers. If molestation or pedophilia is a problem for you, you might not want to read this. Amber is a very complcated little girl, and with that comes some definate childhood traumas.
As always, I do not own Glee, or Dalton. I rent! XD
Amber Harrison was three years old when her mother died. She had been in foster care for over half her life. And that wasn't including the six months she had spent with Uncle Ted.
Amber's mother had been a legal assistant, who had been run over when she had walked to the store for groceries. The driver had been arrested, a seventeen-year-old boy who had stolen a car for a joyride. Whatever a joyride was.
When the police came to the house to advise the babysitter that her mother was dead, she didn't know what to think.
What was dead? What did that mean? Was she sleeping and going to wake up soon? When was mommy coming back? What do you mean, she wasn't?
Amber had always been intelligent. Her mommy said so. She was smarter than the dumb boy who lived down the street, who liked to climb trees as high as he could, to touch the sky. She was smarter than Mrs. Terry's dog, who had learned how to catch a treat if it was thrown in the air.
So why couldn't she understand about being dead? What was so different about being dead that it meant she couldn't have her mommy anymore? Even though she didn't understand dead, she understood that mommy would never come back; and so she cried.
She was sent to live with her only family, Uncle Ted. He was old. Really old. She was pretty sure he wasn't her mommy's brother, but maybe her Nana's brother. Because he was old.
When she had stayed with him, he'd wanted quiet. Any time she made any kind of noise, he hit her. He had a big stick that he would use, hitting her knees, her arms, her back; anywhere he could get her. He was old, so he was slow, but that didn't stop him from hitting her whenever he got the chance.
Finally a lady stopped by one day, as Uncle Ted was hitting her again. The lady told Uncle Ted he was a bad man, and took Amber away.
A doctor looked at her, all over, making sure that Uncle Ted hadn't broken any bones. She was black and blue, that's what they said, but she didn't see just black and blue. There were bits of green, and yellow, and purple, too. It looked almost as though she had painted or markered on herself.
She stayed quiet. She thought if she was quiet enough, maybe she would be able to be let outside to play. When she was sent outside after the doctor's visit, she realised it was true. If she were quiet, she would get things she wanted! Uncle Ted had it right!
So she stayed quiet. People would ask her questions. Instead of answering, she would stare at them, silently willing them to leave her alone. And they eventually did.
She was put into what was called a foster home. She had just turned four, but no one had remembered her birthday. She remembered though. She was, after all, a very smart little girl.
The people who were supposed to be taking care of her, were mean. They had a little boy who was a few years older than Amber, and he got treats, and affection, and cuddles all the time.
Amber didn't even get cuddles. She didn't care so much about the treats, because she had learned that too many treats causes a sick tummy. She never wanted to go through that again.
But it would have been nice to have someone to cuddle when she was lonely, or scared, or hurt. Eventually, she picked out a stuffed animal from the chest of toys her new doctor had in his office. It was a small unicorn, with a pair of wings, and it was glittery, like a rainbow.
The doctor looked at her kindly, and told her she could keep him, if she was gentle and kind to him. She nodded solemnly; her eyes round with awe at the gift.
The doctor just shook his head gently, and advised the nice lady who had taken her from Uncle Ted's that he wasn't sure why Amber wasn't talking, but that she would do so when she felt safe again.
When they returned to the house with her foster parents, they told the nice lady a lie. They said that they couldn't take care of a special needs child, whatever that was, and because Amber couldn't talk, they had to send her back.
Amber was okay with that, because she was tired of having to give the little boy most of everything she had, anyway.
She was placed in a special home with seven other little girls. Everyone there was older than her though. The youngest was Casey, and she was eight. Casey liked to bully Amber into doing her chores; scrubbing floors was the worst. Amber tried, she really did, but four-year old hands weren't meant to hold a scrub brush, and so she was hit by Casey, when Casey was scolded by the supervisor.
"Stupid baby!" Casey had screamed at her, making Amber cry. When the supervisor came to try and find out why Amber was crying, Casey blamed the bad job on Amber.
The supervisor looked shocked that Casey would have made a four-year old scrub the floors. She took Casey to the side and advised her that her chores were her own, and that Amber was never to be forced to do her chores again.
After that, no one in the house liked Amber very much. They said she was a tattletale.
When Amber turned five, she was sent to live in another foster home. These parents were kind, gentle, and really seemed to like her very much. Amber began smiling again, something she hadn't done in over a year. Her therapist, the doctor who had given her the unicorn which still came with her everywhere she went, said she very well may be on the road to getting her voice back.
They had picnics, and went to the park, and to the ocean to see the tiny crabs skittering over the rocks. Amber couldn't remember a time when she had been this happy, not even with her mother. That thought made her sad again, and she sat for a whole day, just trying to remember what her mother was like.
One night, her foster father came into her room. He smelled funny, a sharp, bitter smell, and he walked funny too. He looked down at her, his eyes blurring, and he smiled.
"Time for you to start earning your keep around here," he whispered, a scary look on his face as he watched her. Amber's heart began beating wildly in her chest. He was going to hurt her!
He knelt down beside her bed, wrapping his long fingers around her upper arm, lifting her up so she was sitting. He slowly removed her night-gown, his hands feeling slimy on her skin. She was so scared she barely blinked, afraid her movements would make him angry.
She held as still as she could, making no noise whatsoever as he touched her, everywhere, even the naughty places that her mommy had told her never to let anyone touch. She trembled, her heart in her throat, as he panted beside her, forcing her to touch his bad parts.
When it was finally over, he pulled her gown back on, holding her trembling form in his arms.
"This will be our little secret, okay?" He whispered softly, gently. "No one has to know about this other than us. We don't want to hurt your new mommy, after all. Do we?" He asked in a low, vicious tone. Amber shook her head violently, as he released her.
"Good," And with that, he left her alone, shaking, sobbing, trying very hard not to puke all over her bed. She made it to the bathroom, and was very sick.
She ended up falling asleep on the bathroom floor, where her new mommy found her the next morning. Wrapping her up in a blanket, she carried Amber back to her room, and placed her in her bed. She brought Amber soup, and crackers, and did everything she could to make Amber feel better.
The next evening, he came to see her again. Amber couldn't take it. As soon as he entered he room, his eyes bloodshot and reeking of that nasty, bitter smell, she screamed. His eyes widened, shushing her, but nothing he did could calm her. She continued screaming until her new mommy came in.
When the woman entered the room, she took in the situation, and started hitting the man. She started screaming too, and he began hitting her back. Amber stopped screaming, and cowered in the corner, as the two hit each other strong enough to leave bruises, and blood dripping. A policeman came in then, and pulled the two off of each other.
The woman immediately advised the police officer that she wanted her husband arrested on child abuse charges, and the officer looked pityingly at Amber.
Amber's eyes were on her unicorn, which was now covered in blood. It had been her only friend for a long time now, but it couldn't be saved. It was drenched in the man's blood, and so it would have to be thrown out.
A small sob came from her throat, which was raw and sore from her screaming.
By this time, both the man and the woman had been taken away, and Amber was left in the room with the policeman just standing there, looking at her. She stared back, her eyes never leaving his.
After a while, the lady from the Children's Aid Society came in, the same one from before that she already knew, and took her away. Amber had stayed with her that night, but had woken very early from nightmares. When the lady had come in, in the morning to get Amber up and ready for the day, she found Amber hiding, in a make shift fort, sobbing. She gathered Amber up in her arms, softly cuddling her as much as possible to help calm her down.
"Amber, I have to tell you something," the lady said, her worried eyes peering down at the child in her arms. Amber looked up, her tear-filled brown eyes breaking the lady's heart.
"Sometimes, in this world, you will find bad people. Your Uncle Ted was one of them. The families I've placed you with have been others. But not everyone is bad, Amber. You have to know that. Not everyone is out there, trying to hurt you. Someday, you'll find someone. Someone safe, who will love and cherish you, just for being who you are. Someone you'll be able to talk to. I know you can, because I heard you whispering in your sleep last night. And when you feel safe again, I know you'll talk. And the person that you'll talk to, will be someone extremely special. When you meet them, you'll know. And you won't be able to stop the flood of talking you'll do. So don't you worry, sweetheart," And the lady clutched Amber close, as her own tears slipped down her face.
"You'll be safe again, someday. I swear it."
The day that Amber went to the group home, was the best and worst day of her life. At five years old, she was still one of the youngest there, and worried terribly about whether she would be forced to do someone else's chores again.
But she was happy to see all the kids looked happy there, running around, making noise, laughing, playing. She clutched a book in her arms, the title shown to be "A Swiftly Tilting Planet", the picture of a flying unicorn with a boy on it's back.
A group of children ran to her, and she clutched the book ever tighter to her chest, afraid.
"What's wrong with you?" A boy asked, his arms windmilling as he tried to stay upright after a particularly spectacular stop.
Amber simply shook her head, and cringed into the side of the lady beside her.
"Amber is not a very vocal person," She advised. "She's very quiet, so don't bother her about being shy, okay? Amber, this is Marcus, Andrea, and Leslie."
Marcus looked confused, Andrea looked a bit sad, but Leslie reached out her little hand and grabbed Amber's, shaking it lightly.
"Nice to meet you!" She said in a loud, bubbly voice. She kept hold of Amber's hand, and dragged her gently to the dress-up area. Amber's eyes widened as she saw all of the dress up clothes.
"Do you wanna be a princess?" Leslie asked, her excitement at having someone to play dress up with her showing through her eyes and her smile. Amber shook her head gently, peering wide-eyed around her.
"How about a doctor? Or maybe a fireman? Or a Policeman?" Amber shook her head at each of those, her eyes finally resting on what looked to be a three piece suit. Trundling over, she placed her book on the table close to her, and started pulling on the shirt and jacket, the skirt and the tie, over her regular clothes.
Leslie looked at her in consternation. "I dunno what it is, but I like it!" She announced, and together they played for the rest of the day.
Leslie and Amber became close friends, even though Leslie was nearly ten, and Amber was only five. Leslie watched over her friend with all the care and adoration of a ten year old, while Amber thoroughly enjoyed being taken care of. Leslie taught Amber her numbers, and some reading, showing her how to sound out the more difficult words. Together, they dabbled in arts and crafts, learned how to play games on the computer, and watched movies together. When it came to bed time, they always slept side by side. Nothing could separate them. Or so they thought.
"Leslie, your father is here," Leslie cringed, her heart dropping into her stomach, as she turned to face the wiry man standing at the door.
"Hi, honey," He murmured, his hands twisting nervously around the hat he held in his fingers.
Amber's six-year old self knew she shouldn't watch, that his was a private moment between Leslie and her daddy, but she couldn't help it. She had never had a daddy, and she wanted to know what it felt like. Leslie didn't seem very happy about it, though.
"No." Leslie stopped a few feet away from her father, her face set in a scowl. "I'm not going with you," She hissed venomously. Turning away, she started to resume her playing.
"Leslie Annabelle Michaelson, you come back here right now," Her father scowled, his face red at the fact the Leslie simply ignored him.
The lady who had been watching them, Mrs. Alberts, walked up to Leslie, taking the toy she had been playing with from her hands.
"Now, Leslie. Your father has been working very hard to get you back, you know. He's done everything that we asked him to. Now, because he has been so good, we have to let you go back home with him, okay sweetie? You know, I'm sure everything will work out, this time!" And Mrs Alberts had a large grin on her face, as though to say, see? Everything is going to be great!
Leslie's scowl deepened, her green eyes darkening until they were almost black with anger.
"NO!" I don't wanna go back with him! He hurt me!" She pleaded with Mrs Alberts, sudden tears springing into her eyes as she begged desperately for them not to send her back.
Amber didn't like seeing her best friend angry or upset, and if this man had hurt her friend, she was going to hurt him! She grabbed one of the baseball bats that were used for outdoor time, and whacked the man with it; unfortunately she wasn't very good with aim, so she hit, not his knees as intended, but his groin, causing him to fall to the floor clutching himself.
Leslie laughed hysterically, as did some of the other kids around. Mrs Alberts was mortified, and Amber was pulled roughly to one side, as Mrs Alberts rushed to help the poor man to his feet.
Grabbing Leslie's hand with his free one, he marched her out the door, her protests slowly fading away the further they got from the building. Finally, Amber couldn't hear her anymore, and she collapsed into tears on the step leading down into the play area.
It simply wasn't fair!
The first time that Amber met the Twins, she was seven and three quarters. They were exuberant, loud, chaotic, and very bouncy. They jumped around more than Marcus, which was really saying something. She wasn't sure what to make of them.
They liked to grab the hands of the kids they were playing with, and rip around the room with them, playing chase, tag, hide and seek, and sometimes with Nerf guns. They brought the kids outside to swing on the swings, play on the monkey bars, climb on the jungle gyms, and play with other things like the parachute or the dodge balls.
They were constantly active, and they intimidated Amber, just a little bit. They never seemed to stay still, even when they stopped running. Sitting still was an exercise in futility for them, because still was never an option.
Amber, on the other hand, preferred sitting still, usually for long periods of time, either reading or drawing pictures. She hadn't made any friends since Leslie, because making friends only meant that they would be taken away. She was nice to everyone in the group home, but didn't go out of her way to meet anyone.
When the Twins, they called themselves Tweedles, after Alice in Wonderland, brought their friends with them that first time, she's sighed softly, and looked on as the kids and the teens paired up. She really liked the short, dark-haired boy, he had a kind face. She wished she had the courage to go up and ask him to read with her.
But then a few of the smaller girls had chased him, and convinced him to skip with them. He laughed, and Amber thought he had a really nice laugh, too. She looked longingly at the little group, her eyes so focussed that she had no idea there was anyone beside her until he spoke.
"Hi," He murmured softly, and she jumped a little, because he had scared her. She looked at him sideways, and slowly moved away from him. She was scared; no one ever talked to her voluntarily.
"Nice book," He tried again, his kind eyes almost glistening with restrained emotion. "What's it about?"
Amber thought hard about when she was younger, and what the nice lady had told her after her second foster family. That not everyone was bad, and that eventually she would learn to trust someone again. She blinked, her voice going very low, and she mumbled "Unicorns,".
"I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't hear what you said. Can you say it again?" The boy looked really kind, and he seemed to be actually interested in her book, so she murmured it a little louder, her voice nearly breaking since she hadn't used it for so long.
"It's about Unicorns," She reiterated, then blushed because she thought he had heard the cracking of her voice.
"Wow, Unicorns?" The boy had a really nice smile. Amber wished she could smile as nicely as he did. When she smiled, all you saw was the big hole where her two front teeth used to be.
"I like cats, myself. When I was younger I pretended I had a cat as a friend. Well, actually, he was a panther. He came everywhere with me, even to school,"
Amber gasped softly; that was something she did! Only with Gaudior!
"I do that," She whispered, her round eyes meeting his for the first time. "I read about my unicorn in a book. His name is Gaudior, and he can fly. He takes me away when the bad things happen." Her hand flew to her mouth, mortified. She wasn't supposed to say things like that! What if he didn't like her now because she had bad things happen to her? She nearly started crying at the idea of that. She didn't want him to not like her.
The boy looked like he was ready to cry too, even though surely nothing bad had ever happened to him.
"Exactly! That's what my friend did when I was little too. When I grew up a bit, I didn't need him as much, so he left me. But I will always remember him."
Amber thought about her mommy, her daddy, her Uncle Ted, and her foster families. Lastly she thought about Leslie, whom she missed dearly. And she nodded knowingly at the boy.
"They do that," she said quietly, her head hanging down as she remembered all the loved ones she had lost. "Even imaginary friends leave you. No one ever stays," She was reminded also of her unicorn toy, the one that had been destroyed in the fight between her foster parents. She sniffled a bit, trying hard to avoid bursting into tears.
"Hey, don't say that," the boy spoke gently, but firmly, as he raised her chin so he could look into her eyes. She noticed they were clear blue, like the sky on a summer day, and she couldn't help but stop sniffling. "I'll be here. I'll keep coming back until you don't need me anymore, okay? I can be like, what was his name? Gaudior?"
Amber nodded, her wide eyes staring in disbelief. Not only had this boy remembered her imaginary friends' name, but he was also going to come back? Just to talk to her? She couldn't believe her ears.
"Will you really? You'll stay as long as I need you?" Amber's voice trembled, the disbelief evident in her voice, as she tried to make herself understand what this boy was offering. He nodded at her.
"What's your name?" He asked softly. Amber blushed again, although she didn't think the boy caught it. She was so stupid not to have told him her name before now.
"Amber," She blurted out, mortified again. "That's what my mommy called me. Before she died," The look on the boy's face was sad, as though he was sorry her mommy had died.
"Do you know, my mom died when I was little too," the boy replied softly, and Amber was shocked. Had this boy been through the things she had been through? Was he hurt like she was?
"Did you have to stay with your uncle and get hit like me?" She asked, her round eyes wide with horror, her breath coming in harsh gasps as she pictured this amazing, wonderful boy being hit by someone unseen.
"No. My dad was there for me. He was a great dad. He did everything with me, even the stuff that my mom was supposed to do. He loved me, no matter what I did or said." Amber's heart started to slow, knowing that he had his daddy, and that his daddy was a nice person. Yes, there were nice people in the world, and this boy was one of them. So was his daddy. And Amber wished with all her heart that she could have a daddy who loved her too.
"Oh," Amber said, her eyes filling with tears as she looked down at the floor sadly. "I never had a daddy. Mommy said he was a bad man. He hurt her when I was in her tummy, and he went to jail. So I guess I have one, somewhere, but I don't know who he is." Amber hadn't remembered that conversation in a very long time, but she did remember, because she was intelligent. That's what her mommy had always told her. And she believed it. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and tried to look intelligent, even though she wasn't really sure what intelligent was supposed to look like. She sighed gently, and sat down on the floor. Pulling her knees up to her chin, she asked the question that she had wanted to ask since she had first came here, to his house.
"Will you read to me? My mommy used to read to me, but no one has for a really long time. I can help you with the hard words," she offered, holding out the book to him and pleading to him with her eyes. She noticed the glistening of tears in his eyes, but ignored it because she was seven and three quarters years old, and big boys aren't supposed to cry.
"Okay, but you definitely have to help me with the hard words," he replied, and he scooted over the carpet to get closer to her. Together they opened the book, and he picked up where she had left off.
After a while, a few of the other kids noticed that he was reading, and they came over to listen. As Amber pointed out big words, sounding them out, she felt safe. For the first time since she was three, she was safe and sound with someone who cared about her. She looked up into the boy's eyes, his smile making her heart beat faster, and she climbed up into his lap. She wouldn't have, normaly, because she was too old for laps, but he was safe, and secure, and she hadn't been really cuddled in a long time. So she endured the lap for the cuddling, and was assured that he cared. Together they made it through the whole book, and began another. When it was finally time for him and his friends to go, she began crying, just a little.
"It's okay, sweetie," The boy knelt in front of her, his eyes looking up into hers with pure trust and love. "I promise I'll come back. Even if the Tweedles stop coming, I won't. Not ever. I think you're amazing, Amber, and even though you're only seven and three quarters years old, you are one of the smartest people I know!" He grinned, and gave her a gentle hug. Then he looked thoughtful, and pulled off the amazing scarf he was wearing.
He wrapped it around her neck, and she fondled the material gently, looking down at him in awe.
"This is my absolute, most favorite scarf. I want you to take care of it for me. I'll be back next week to make sure you've taken good care of it." Amber's breath hitched, as she nodded solemnly.
"I will. I promise." And the boy stood up, his hand on her shoulder, as he watched the emotions play over her face.
"And I promise I'll be back. After all, I wouldn't give just anyone my favorite scarf, now would I?" She shook her head, and gave him a tremulous smile.
As he began walking out he door to rejoin his friends, she stopped him by pulling on his arm slightly. He turned around and looked down at her.
"What's your name?" She asked him softly, her hand clutching his wrist in a grip that would have hurt him if she'd been older.
"Kurt," he replied, his voice quiet in the breeze, as he watched her murmur his name under her breath.
"Until I see you next time, Kurt," She said happily, her arms reaching around him for one last hug. He lifted her up off the ground, and twirled her around before gently placing her back down.
"Until we meet again, dear Amber," Kurt replied. And with that he was gone.
Please tell me what you thought of this? Should I continue with more about Kurt and Amber? Like what happens when Amber gets into her teens and starts dating? How will Kurt react to that? And what if Kurt brings Amber home to meet his dad? Would anyone be interested in reading that? Send me a message, let me know! As always, love you guys!