Till Death Do Us Part
By Ichimu
Disclaimer: All Inuyasha characters and themes do not belong to me, and I do not profit from posting fan fiction.
Author's Note: So, with Project Armageddon being so serious in general, and focusing largely on Inuyasha and Kagome, I thought I'd delve into a comedy starring Sango and Miroku. And this time, I thought it would be interesting to switch their usual roles; this time Sango is the one with everything under control and Miroku as the newbie.
Since this is a reprieve from the drama of Project Armageddon, this is going to be a light story with (I predict) shorter chapters. There will be quite a bit of action, lots of aliases, and, I hope, it'll be a generally good time.
AU Sango is the best spy in Tokyo. So good, in fact, that her superiors are getting frustrated. That's when they give her a partner: the rookie Miroku. Now they've got to learn to work together or go down in smoke. San/Mir
Chapter 1, Slow Down
The air rippled slightly as she winked and slipped into the bathroom. He leaned back on the pillows and sighed. As he listened to the silken sounds of her changing, he leaned over and turned on his laptop. He knew it was anal, but he just wanted to check that the files were still there. His fingers flitted across the keys and the file unfolded in front of his eyes.
"Perfect," he mumbled.
Two gunshots sliced through the quiet, and the bullets caught him once, twice in the head. His frame quivered in response. Then his eyes went blank and he crumbled against the headboard.
Kawate Sango stepped out of the bathroom. She grabbed the laptop and headed out the window. Her cell phone rang as she landed on the roof of a nearby building.
"Yes sir. Mission complete."
(-)(-)(-)
"Yes sir. You wanted to see me?"
Watanabe Domeki looked up from his paperwork, one brow cocked. Sango was standing in the doorway, the light pouring in from behind. She was dressed in a sharp pants suit that fit her tomboyish attitude like a glove. Her mahogany hair was piled on her head, and her dark eyes examined him with the coolness of a trained professional. One finger examined the contours of his desk as Watanabe Domeki nodded and motioned for his subordinate to sit. "Yes, Sango-san. It's time for us to have a little chit chat."
"What seems to be the trouble, sir?" Sango said, taking a seat across from him.
"We're assigning you a partner," Watanabe said.
"What?" Sango's eyebrows shot up, and her dark eyes flashed. "A partner? I work alone, sir. I don't need a partner."
"I know you don't need a partner," Watanabe said. "And that's precisely why you're getting one."
"I don't understand, sir," Sango said, narrowing her eyes.
"Well, Sango, let me put it like this," he said, resting his chin on his fist. "You're the best spy we have here. You've completed every mission we've given you with the utmost success and discipline. You have an almost unnatural talent for this sort of work."
"Thank you, sir, I-"
"So think of this as a kind of promotion," he proposed, clapping his hands together.
"I'd like to speak to the chief on this issue, sir, if that's quite alright," Sango said, setting her jaw.
"Ah yes, she wants to talk to me?" asked the man, popping his head into the room. Chief Yamada was a grizzled old man with dark eyes and a perpetual smile. He came to stand behind Watanabe. "So Sango, it's like this: you take the promotion because we said so. You're good at following orders, aren't you?"
"Not if they're given without explanation, sir!" Sango protested. "I don't need a partner, I don't want a partner, and therefore I don't understand why you're saying I have to have one! If you would just explain it to me-"
"You're too good," Yamada said.
"Pardon?" Sango said, drawn aback.
"You're too good. You're making the rest of us look bad," he said, his smile unfaltering. "Therefore, we're giving you a partner to slow you down a bit. Got it?"
"Sir?" Sango blinked.
"You're excused, Sango-san," Yamada said. "Your new partner should contact you in a couple days."
Sango walked out of the room, stunned and wondering what exactly had just happened to her.
(-)(-)(-)
Sango was sitting in the bakery, pretending to be reading the paper while she waited. Her new partner was supposed to be meeting her here, and he was fifteen minutes late. She would've left by now, except that the kid was bringing her new assignment along with him. She sipped her coffee and briefly wondered whether she could drown herself in the two inches of coffee sitting at the bottom of her mug.
"Hey, pretty lady. Do you need some company?"
Sango raised an eyebrow and looked over her paper. A handsome young man was standing there, grinning at her. He had black hair that was pulled into a short ponytail, ear piercings, and surprising amethyst eyes. He was carrying a folder.
"Sorry, but I'm not interested," she said looking back at her paper. She wished her new partner would show up.
"Ah yes? But you'll have to work harder than that to get rid of me. You see, I'm quite persistent," he warned, sitting down across from her. His hand brushed her knee.
"Sir!" she squeaked, blushing. "This is a public area and I would appreciate it very much if you would get lost!"
"Sorry, no can do. I'm supposed to meet someone here," he said.
"Your dimwitted girlfriend?" Sango asked, sealing her lips around her coffee mug to stifle the colorful language that was springing to mind.
"No, my new partner, actually. I think he's late," the boy said. He leaned in and winked at her. "You see, I'm going to be a spy. Pretty cool, huh?"
Sango started to choke on the bite of pastry she had just tucked into her mouth. The boy jumped up, turning white as Sango clawed at her neck. He grabbed her, lifted her out of her seat, placed his hands under her ribcage, and shoved his fist into her abdomen. The pastry bit flew across the bakery.
"Geez. You gave me a real scare there," the boy said, setting her down. "I thought you were going to die or something."
'At this moment,' she thought, 'I wish I had.' She smoothed her hair and straightened her shirt. Then she held out her hand.
"What?" he asked, blinking.
"The folder, please," she said.
"Huh? No, I'm sorry, but this is for my new partner. It's top-secret stuff from the government. I can't just go passing this stuff around."
"Oh, but you can advertise its existence?" she snapped, the thin cord of her patience beginning to burn her insides. She grabbed him and pulled him out of the bakery, tossing some money on the table.
She rounded the corner and pressed him up against the side of the building. People filed past, unaware and uncaring. Sango leaned in until her face was inches from Miroku's. "Look, you pig-brained, ignorant, self-righteous rookie-"
"Now, now, there's no need for insults. If you want to thank me for saving your life, you can just say so," he said, smiling at her.
Sango screamed in frustration. "You idiot! I'm your partner!"
"Oh," Miroku said smartly.
Sango ripped the folder from his hand. It was a routine mission. She was to go to a gallery party, meet a certain gentleman involved in such and such illegal activity, gain access to his study, and swipe the files. She looked up at the boy. "Your name?"
"Takara Miroku," he said.
"Kawate Sango," she responded.
"So, I guess this is the part where we make some kind of pact, right?" Miroku asked.
"What nonsense are you spewing now?" she snapped. People were shouting across the street, pictures were being snapped, and someone was crying. Her mind flashed to a crime scene, and her heart began to pound in her skull. But when she looked again, she saw the people part to make way for a woman in a white dress. She was grinning broadly. The man at her side placed a kiss on her cheek.
"Well, y'know! Like in the movies. Partners are supposed to make some sort of agreement, right? Like, 'We'll do this or die trying,' or 'Let's see this to the end.'"
"Do they always involve being together until an inevitable end?" Sango questioned, looking at the man help his new bride into the limousine.
"Always," Miroku said. He followed her gaze to the wedding and laughed. Sango looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Ok, partner, till death do us part."
Sango blushed in spite of herself and shoved the file into her bag to review later. Toying with a piece of her hair, she gave the boy a quick once-over. As she calculated the dimensions of his dinner jacket, she could see the next few months unfolding before her.
Her superiors had found the perfect idiot to slow her down.
- Ichimu